Bahu couldn’t figure this out, nor did he have time to, because the two children were uncomfortable and restless day and night. In February, small pointed teeth began to emerge from Qiqige and Jiya’s gums. They would scratch at them whenever they were awake. The old midwife said that when babies are teething, they itch, so Mi Niang was advised to gently wipe their gums with rice water every day. By March, the teeth had grown to the size of a grain of rice, and another one appeared next to it. They drooled profusely and were not only itchy but also unresponsive to stories. They just wanted to be held by their parents whenever they were awake.
“Mi Niang, I feel like Qiqige and Jiya have a slight fever. Could it be that they sweated and caught a chill last night while crying?” Bahu paced around the room holding the two children, poking his head out to call the people busy in the kitchen. Now that the children were bigger, only he could pick up both at once. Whenever he cooked, he had to entertain the children while Mi Niang went to the kitchen.
“I’ll take a look,” Mi Niang washed her hands and went into the room, holding the droopy-headed little girl and touching her forehead. It was indeed a bit warm.
“Put on some clothes. Let’s take them to the medicine room first to see the doctor. If it’s serious, we’ll go to Lingshan.” They only had a Mongolian doctor who sold traditional Chinese medicine here, and while he couldn’t diagnose illnesses, he knew more than the average person.
In the medicine room, when the doctor heard that it was just teething, his outstretched hand dropped back down. “Babies often get a slight fever when teething. You don’t need to go all the way to Lingshan to see a doctor. Even if you go, they won’t give you medicine or injections. Just go back and wipe them with warm water for a few days, and they’ll be fine.”
“Do all children go through this?” Bahu asked.
“Yes, they do. You did when you were little too.”
Hearing the Mongolian doctor’s explanation, Bahu and Mi Niang felt relieved. They wrapped the children tightly and walked slowly through the frozen snow. It was slippery, making it difficult for adults to walk, but the babies, for once, seemed to enjoy it, giggling as they were carried.
Bahu glanced at the eldest girl with squinted eyes and intentionally walked to the icy spots, sliding his feet a bit. She giggled again.
“Let’s spend a little more time outside before heading back,” he said to Mi Niang.
Mi Niang agreed. Since the children were mostly covered, she didn’t mind. Besides, she knew she wouldn’t get any rest at home with all the chores and the sick children. These days, both she and Bahu had to tread carefully on the floors of the bedrooms and the main room.
As the young couple played with the children in the snow, they were unaware of the urgent situation at home. The thin layer of snow outside the gate had turned into mud from being trampled on. Finally spotting someone, they hurried over. “Bahu, where have you been? It took you so long to come back. Hurry, follow me. Your father drowned in the water tank last night while drunk.”
Mi Niang screamed in shock, but Bahu remained calm. He didn’t know why he felt so strangely calm as if he had anticipated this day.
He glanced at his mother and said, “Let’s talk inside.”
“And why are you the one informing me?” She should be at home managing the funeral arrangements. It shouldn’t be her responsibility to come and tell him.
The woman’s heart skipped a beat at being questioned. The anxiety she had been holding back suddenly deflated, and she followed him into the house, clutching her hands. “Agula doesn’t know the way, and your uncle is entertaining guests from the clan. I was the only one available to find you.”
“Is that so?”
“What’s with the questioning? Hurry up and get ready to come with me. Mi Niang, you come too. It’s a good opportunity to introduce the children to the clan.”
This statement was strange. Not only did Bahu find it odd, but even Mi Niang seriously scrutinized her mother-in-law. Based on her behavior, one would think that she would be most upset about her husband’s death. Yet she was talking about this as an opportunity to introduce the children to the clan.
Under their scrutiny, the woman’s eyes flickered, and she diverted her gaze to the two children chewing on their fingers. “Are my grandchildren teething?”
No one responded to her. Bahu unpacked Qiqige’s swaddle and placed her on the Kang bed, saying, “Mi Niang and the children won’t come. The children are running a slight fever and are already uncomfortable. Going out might make it worse. Mi Niang will stay home to take care of them, and I’ll go out to show my face.”
The woman moved her mouth, but the most important thing was to get Bahu to come with her, so she didn’t insist.
“Then hurry up. The people at home are waiting for you.”
Bahu changed his clothes and looked at Mi Niang. “Should I ask Aobao to come over? I might come back late tonight, and you can’t handle two children alone.”
“You go ahead. I’ll manage things at home,” Mi Niang reassured him.
“Let’s go,” the woman urged, riding a horse. Bahu had prepared a cart for her. “Your face is turning blue from the cold. Sit in the cart.”
“I’m not cold. Riding a horse is faster.”
“If you keep delaying, you might as well not go,” Bahu’s face turned cold. If it weren’t for his mother coming to inform him today, he wouldn’t have planned to go back. “Digging a hole and burying him is all that needs to be done. Do you think running back and forth will bring him back to life? There’s a lot to do at home, and the children aren’t feeling well. Haven’t you seen?”
After being scolded, the woman fell silent. She obediently climbed into the carriage. When they reached a deserted area, she pushed open the door and leaned out to say to Bahu, “I’ve talked to your uncle. He will support you to become the clan leader. When you meet the clan members, don’t look grim. Listen to your uncle.”
“I won’t become the clan leader. Let him do it himself, or at worst
“I don’t understand funeral arrangements, so it’s good that you’re here little uncle,” Bahu intercepted a clan member carrying offerings, unceremoniously grabbed a piece of bread, and contentedly watched as a few old folks scowled.
“I didn’t have breakfast this morning. I’m hungry,” he explained.
“Your father has passed away, and Agula isn’t an adult yet. Your little uncle suggested that you come back to be the clan leader. The rest of us old folks are here to support you. What do you think?” one of the elderly clan members, with most of his teeth missing, asked, glancing behind Bahu. “You’re the only one who came back? With such a big event, why didn’t your wife and two children come with you? Your father hasn’t even seen his grandchildren.”
“He hasn’t seen them while alive, so why should he after death? Or are you suggesting that if I brought the children, he’d miraculously come back to life?” Bahu glanced at his little uncle and said nonchalantly, “I’m not interested in coming back to be the clan leader, nor do I have any opinion. I’ve already been kicked out of the family. You all can discuss who should be the clan leader, and whoever it is, I have no objections.”
Before Sandan could speak, Bahu swallowed the last bite of bread and stood up. “Where’s Agula? And where’s Sandan? I’ll go see them.”
“They’re in the main hall, watching over your father,” one of the elders quickly replied, eager to usher Bahu away.
As Bahu turned the corner, he overheard the man telling Sandan that they needed to select a new clan leader from within the clan.
“It’s true, he hasn’t even closed his eyes in death.” Bahu walked into the main hall, where his father lay in the coffin, still uncovered. He stood on the right side and observed for a while. The person in the coffin had wide-open eyes but lacked vitality. There were scratches on his face, and his fingers were clenched in a rigid posture.
“My father was murdered,” Agula, appearing like a ghost, walked up to Bahu’s side. He gazed at the bright but cold sun outside. “I heard that Uncle wants you to be the clan leader.”
Bahu, wanting to get some information from him, confessed frankly, “I declined. With this messed up family, whoever wants to deal with it can deal with it.”
“You’re quite bold,” Agula, who had only thought about inheriting all the family property while his father was alive, never considered the position of a clan leader. However, when he was awakened this morning and told that his father had drowned, he had a fleeting thought.
“Do you think he was murdered? Why do you say that? Who do you suspect?” Bahu turned his head slightly.
“I saw Mother coming out of Uncle’s house,” Agula replied.
“Oh, maybe she had something to discuss with him. But do you suspect anyone else?” Bahu asked as if nothing was out of the ordinary.
“She’s never concerned about anything. Even when Father had nothing to say to Uncle, what could she possibly have to discuss with him?” Agula sneered. “Uncle and Father have always had a bad relationship, but this year, Uncle suddenly became enthusiastic and took Father to his house after he got drunk. Mother followed. She said she waited until Father fell asleep before returning. Do you believe that? She’s more afraid than anyone when Father gets drunk.”
“Knowing she’s afraid, haven’t you ever considered sending Mother to someone else’s house when he’s drunk?” Bahu snorted a few times, hitting back, “Just because Mother and Uncle both support me as clan leader, you hate them so much that you accuse her of having an affair with Uncle?”
“Believe it or not, it’s up to you,” Agula didn’t argue either and walked back to kneel beside Sandan.
Bahu glanced at the coffin again, then turned around to leave without any intention of kneeling or asking about funeral matters. While Sandan was being detained by someone, he slipped out of the door and went to another nearby house.
“My uncle sent me to find something,” he chirped to the gatekeeper and swaggered in. The servants here had all been sent to the ancestral hall, and the large water tank in the backyard had not yet been cleaned up. Water had overflowed and frozen outside the tank, forming ice, and there were broken ice pieces on the green bricks.
In winter, water was collected by melting snow, which was difficult. Every household usually stored water in tanks in the kitchen, so it was the first time he had seen someone storing a large tank of water under the eaves.
Bahu climbed the steps, and the remaining water in the tank had frozen into ice blocks. There was still a hole inside, a testament to how much someone hated him to let him drown and freeze in the ice. When they moved the body, they would break the ice to remove it.
“Bahu, why did you come to my house?”
Bahu turned around, his uncle had a smile on his face, showing no signs of being in a hurry to come back.
“I came to see where my father drowned,” Bahu walked down the steps and went to the outside of the kitchen on the other side, pushing open the window to look inside. There was only a mark left where the water tank used to be. “Uncle, it’s inconvenient to have a tank of water here. Why did you move it outside?”
Because he didn’t want to dirty the place where he cooked.
“This tank of water drowned a rat a couple of days ago. I moved it out to clean it up before pouring it out, who knew your father would drown in it too? What? Do you think I killed your father? You two are father and son, after all, always fighting and arguing. Even after he’s dead, you still care.”
“There’s no one else here, and I don’t want to be clan leader either. After today, I won’t come back again. Let’s not speak in riddles, be frank with me. Tell me the reason, and I’ll support you to take the position of clan leader.” Bahu leaned against the wall, not mentioning his mother’s affair with Sandan. He didn’t believe Sandan would kill his father for her.
“Do you have a grudge against him? Or did something happen to cause a falling out between you?” Sandan chuckled lightly. He was only thirty-seven years old, and his fair complexion made him look even younger. “If I could have children, my son would have been your age by now. Your father, that fool, managed to produce such a clever son like you. My son would have been no less. What a pity, it was all ruined by your father.”
“Was it him who schemed against you back then?” Bahu looked at his uncle’s lower body, “Are you sure?”
Sandan “Hmm” ed, “I found the person who knew about it back then. He saw your father hiding a stick in the grass. I asked him last night while he was drunk, and he admitted it.”
“Then he deserves to die, he’s done plenty of evil deeds.”
“If only you were my son.”
Bahu ignored him, “The clan opposes you becoming clan leader for sure because you have no heir. Later, you should say that after you, the clan leader will be chosen from within the clan. But when my son grows up and wants to succeed as a clan leader, you must prioritize him. I don’t care if you designate him before you close your eyes or plan it out before you pass away. If you agree to this, I’ll go with you now.”
“No matter what you think, I only wanted to kill him before. My sincerity in pushing you to be clan leader is genuine. If I become clan leader, I will pass the position to your child in the future, returning it to its rightful owner.” Sandan gave his assurance. He had no children or descendants, and his nephew was his closest kin. If he was somewhat reluctant to pave the way for Bahu to become clan leader before, knowing that Bahu knew he had killed his father and still said he deserved to die, Sandan truly wanted to recognize Bahu as his son.
Bahu walked to the eaves and smashed the water jar, “Let’s go.” Perhaps because his uncle was wholeheartedly pushing him to become the clan leader, looking sincere without any ulterior motives, the people in the clan never suspected that he had committed murder.
Sandan followed closely behind Bahu as they walked outside shoulder to shoulder. Sandan turned his head and asked, “You’re not going to ask about me and your mother? Don’t tell me you didn’t see or hear anything that day.”
Bahu’s footsteps paused for a moment. He clenched his fists and fiercely punched Sandan’s chest, causing him to bend over unable to stand up. Bahu then kicked him again, knocking him down into the snow. “It’s up to my mother how she chooses. Where do you get the nerve to bring it up in front of me? Let me make it clear today: I don’t care about your affairs, and I won’t ask what schemes you’re planning with her. But if you dare to bully her, I’ll beat you to death.”
Sandan got up from the snow still smiling, “Rest assured, I’m not like your father, a madman.” He brushed off the snow from his body and continued walking with Bahu. “The most worthy thing for your mother to boast about in her life is probably giving birth to you. It’s really great.” If only he had a son like him.
Bahu was the rightful heir to the next clan leader, and what he said mattered more than Sandan’s. Moreover, with the promise to select the next clan leader from within the clan, Sandan, a person without roots, was accepted as the clan leader by the younger generations without much objection.
“My two children at home have a slight fever, and with clan members taking care of my father’s funeral arrangements, I can rest assured. I’m leaving now, thank you all for your trouble.” Bahu proposed to leave.
With the clan leader’s matter settled, Bahu lost his identity as the clan leader and was just his father’s son. He was unwilling to keep vigil for his father, and no one else cared. The clan members, who already lacked affection, didn’t care whether he stayed or left.
Bahu’s mother didn’t understand how things had turned out this way. She was still in a daze when she sent Bahu away, silent as they exited the gate.
Bahu glanced at the man who followed them out and was waiting outside the gate, then lowered his head and said, “From now on, live your own life well. We don’t need you to worry. Just think about yourself. This time, it was your own choice, and I won’t ask anything. The dead should stay dead. Don’t dwell on it anymore.”
His mother looked up at him in astonishment, pursed her lips, but said nothing.
“I’m leaving. Don’t bother seeing me off. Someone is waiting for you.” And I won’t be coming back.
His mother had escaped from the sea of suffering. Whatever choices she made afterward, regardless of the outcome, were hers to bear. Moreover, she dared to have affairs and conspire to murder, showing she wasn’t as timid and fragile as he had thought, and didn’t need him to worry about her.
She had given birth to him and raised him for fourteen years, and he had protected her from abuse since childhood and even kept a murder secret from her. He owed her nothing. From now on, when they met, she was just his mother.
“Why didn’t you become the clan leader? Was it because of me?” his mother caught up to the carriage and asked.
“Not at all. I don’t want to, and even if I did, I couldn’t.”
But he didn’t like interacting with people, and the root of the problem was his father, and his mother wasn’t innocent either.
