The next day, Heewoon cautiously entered the classroom. Since he arrived a little early, Kangwoo hadn’t arrived yet. Heewoon wished that Kangwoo wouldn’t come to the university today.
10 minutes before the lecture began, Heewoon scanned the half-full classroom and took out a book from his bag. There would be no lecture today, the professor would only be taking questions.
Heewoon unfolded the bookmarked page and reviewed the highlighted parts, organizing his questions. Thanks to the several naps he took yesterday, he was able to study until dawn.
At that moment, Kangwoo casually sat down next to him.
“Hello, Sunbae.”
Heewoon was startled and briefly hesitated before muttering, “Uh, yeah.”
Heewoon awkwardly glanced at the air, not knowing whether to look at Kangwoo or his book. Kangwoo tilted his head and stared into Heewoon’s face.
“I thought you had a lot of gall.”
“….”
Heewoon pursed his lips and lowered his gaze. It was slightly assuring to have many eyes watching.
“Breakfast. Did you have some before coming here?”
“Yeah.”
Heewoon shifted his gaze to the corner of the book he had folded. He hoped the professor would come in soon.
“Sunbae, I think you’re a bit dumb.”
A small voice, almost like he was muttering to himself, came from beside him. Heewoon flinched, his fist clenching under his desk and his nerves tensing
“How many times do I have to tell you not to look elsewhere until you get it?”
Hearing that, Heewoon quickly turned his head. Locking eyes with Kangwoo, the other spoke softly.
“It’s basic to face each other when talking. Right?”
“Yeah.”
As Heewoon nodded his head a couple of times, Kangwoo’s lips curled up slightly.
“What did you have for breakfast?”
Kangwoo raised his chin and asked.
“I had ramyeon.”
Staring at Heewoon intently, Kangwoo pressed his finger firmly on the lower part of Heewoon’s collarbone. Heewoon’s eyes widened, and he lowered his head.
“Did you want to show that you had eaten that?”
“Ah. No, it’s not like that…”
Where Kangwoo’s straight finger had brushed, there were splashes of ramyeon soup. Embarrassed, Heewoon touched the remaining stain on his white T-shirt, and Kangwoo chuckled.
“Do you prefer ramyeon over regular meals?”
“It’s just, more convenient.”
Seo Kangwoo frowned at that, but he quickly straightened his posture as the professor entered the room.
***
“We can’t have lunch together today. Can you properly have lunch by yourself?”
Kangwoo said as they left the lecture together. His tone seemed as if Heewoon was a child, and that he was looking out for him.
“Yeah.”
It was the final semester of his senior year, so there were days when Seo Kangwoo only had morning classes. When they had lunch together, Kangwoo would be going somewhere after that, so it didn’t seem like he had much free time. The thought of going away to harm or threaten someone made Heewoon’s spine shiver and his whole body tense up.
“How about your tutoring?”
“Huh?”
“Have you told them that you’re quitting?”
It was when they were about to leave the department building. Heewoon gazed at the cloudy sky and swallowed his dry saliva. As the response was delayed, Kangwoo turned his head.
“No, not yet.”
For now, he blurted that out.
“Not yet?”
As Heewoon felt his heart sink with the question that came back, he spoke defensively. The kids are in the middle of midterms, and some of them are in a crucial period. I would have to look at the situation before quitting suddenly…
Seo Kangwoo didn’t say anything. The sound of their hurried footsteps echoed, and it increased Heewoon’s heartbeats. Heewoon found himself ridiculous. How could he be so scared even with just this much, yet he still didn’t listen to Kangwoo’s words?
Suddenly, Kangwoo came to a stop.
“Sunbae.”
“Yeah?”
Heewoon looked up at Kangwoo, full of nervousness. Kangwoo’s face was expressionless, and he lightly tapped the area above his eyebrow with his thumb.
“I’m in a dilemma now… There are two options.”
“….”
Kangwoo’s hand slowly rested on Heewoon’s shoulder. He lightly gripped the shoulder and then gently patted it from the neck down, as if comforting.
“Should I make Sunbae listen obediently to me?”
His thumb pressed lightly against Heewoon’s neck. His Adam’s apple quivered. Kangwoo’s gaze brushed past Heewoon’s neck and returned to his face.
“Or should I go a little easy on you and just adore you?”
“….”
Heewoon’s complexion turned pale. What do you think? Kangwoo tilted his head to the side and whispered.
“If I get easy on you, then you’ll forget your place and start acting up.”
Recalling Heewoon rushing off yesterday, Kangwoo let out a small laugh. He gently stroked his bony shoulder.
“What should I do? Hmm?”
Heewoon, who had been as stiff as a rock, opened his mouth abruptly. A small voice crawled out, like the sound of the wind.
“Go a little easy on me…”
“What?”
Kangwoo tilted his head. Heewoon bit his lip tightly and raised his voice.
“Please go a little easy on me and adore me.”
As Kangwoo silently observed Heewoon’s face flush with embarrassment, he suddenly burst into laughter. He ruffled Heewoon’s hair roughly.
“Well, that would be easier.”
Kangwoo’s eyes softened as he looked down at Heewoon’s small face. He slightly bent his waist and locked eyes with Heewoon.
“You can continue until the end of this month, then you’ll quit. There are still over two weeks left, that should be enough.”
Heewoon nodded slightly. He thought to himself, so he’ll play along for another two weeks or maybe longer. The idea of this interaction continuing for quite some time made his throat tighten.
“And… the card…”
“You have it, Sunbae. Use it if you need to.”
“….”
Heewoon’s mouth opened and closed again.
If he was afraid of getting involved with money, he should have handed the card back to Seo Kangwoo. But Heewoon just nodded his head.
He gave it to me, so if I returned it, Kangwoo wouldn’t just leave me off the hook. I could just simply not use it. Heewoon thought as if he was talking to someone.
“What will you have for lunch?”
Kangwoo straightened his back and casually asked. As Heewoon started walking alongside him again, he vaguely mentioned the school cafeteria.
“Cafeteria… that’s good. It’s better than just having a piece of bread.”
Muttering to himself, Kangwoo said, “See you tomorrow,” and headed towards the parking lot. Heewoon awkwardly raised his hand to wave at Kangwoo and then turned back, heading towards the central library.
He had packed rice balls to eat for dinner. He was thinking to have them for lunch. For dinner, he could have snacks from his tutoring job.
However, he didn’t get any snacks during the 8:30 pm tutoring session. It seemed like the student who didn’t like seeing Heewoon eating a lot of snacks had informed his mother.
Heewoon glanced at the empty grape juice glass and checked the time. It was 9:45 pm. There was still some time left. There would probably be snacks during the 11pm class. His stomach rumbled once again.
“Ahem. Are you finished?”
He discreetly covered his stomach while clearing his throat and adjusted his pen grip.
“Yes.”
“Right. Since this is a comparative sentence, an adjective should come…”
“Ah, I understand.”
The student cut off Heewoon’s words. His eyes beneath the round glasses looked at Heewoon’s arm, which was covering his stomach. The student looked straight at Heewoon and spoke.
“Teacher, I told you to have dinner before coming here. It’s hard to concentrate with your stomach growling.”
Seeing a malicious joy flicker in the student’s blunt face, Heewoon was speechless. His face flushed red.
He remembered the rectangular card deep in his wallet.
***
The exams were over. However, that didn’t mean Heewoon could rest easy. The midterms for middle and high school students were next week, so he had to create 100 practice questions for each school. He could still only sleep for 3 to 4 hours a day.
One morning, Heewoon asked his mother.
“Should we make passports?”
“Hm?”
“Well, just in case. It would be good to have them in case we go on a trip…”
Drinking water, Heewoon averted his gaze from his mother.
“What if those people say come to us if we make passports?”
His mother was fearful. He must have inherited that aspect of personality from his mom.
He hadn’t returned the card Seo Kangwoo gave him, nor had he used it.
Sometimes, when he was exhausted and struggling, he became aware of the card’s existence. It wouldn’t hurt to use some of Seo Kangwoo’s money for this hardship that he had to endure. It would be like a payment for his suffering. As he tried to convince himself, numerous questions filled his head.
What if Kangwoo asked him to repay it later? Loan sharks might want to kill Heewoon occasionally, but they couldn’t do it, while Seo Kangwoo would be fully capable of doing so.
Even if that didn’t happen, what if Seo Kangwoo suddenly lost interest in him and asked for the card back? Heewoon had no job at the moment, so how would he repay the debt and cover his living expenses?
There was no reason at all for Seo Kangwoo to give him the card, which made it terrifying. Seo Kangwoo had enough control over him now to keep his mouth shut.
‘It’s just. Kinda irritating.’
There’s nothing sufficient to reason for giving him the card.
There was also something else that terrified Heewoon.
Imagine if he followed Seo Kangwoo’s words and quit all his tutoring jobs and relied on the card. He would be able to live much more comfortably, wouldn’t have to bow down to younger students, and would have time to prepare for employment during his free time.
Then…
What if, when this lifestyle came to an end, he wasn’t completely happy?
Kangwoo had pushed Heewoon into another fear by giving him the card.
Heewoon stared at his mother’s face. In her eyes, which had changed a lot over the years, there was worry. What she wanted was clear. Safety.
Heewoon spoke gently.
“They won’t say anything about us getting passports. And how would those people know, Mom?”
“…Is that so? Should we get them then?”
“Yeah. Let’s quickly repay the debt and go on a trip.”
His mother, who had been staring at Heewoon intently, nodded her head.
The passport came in less than a week later. This measly small green notebook made him feel a little relieved when he carried it around.
So he put it in his bag and occasionally took it out, fiddling with it.
After his students’ midterms were over, he had a little more free time. However, his tension and anxiety grew. It was because the time period that Seo Kangwoo had mentioned was approaching.
Triple update too today! (Because somehow we’ve not yet caught up to the webtoon lol)
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