The next day. Seo Kangwoo, who had no classes, came to have lunch with him and then left again. He glanced at Heewoon throughout the meal, but nothing happened.
After lunch, Heewoon immediately went to his core major class and then came out. There was still about an hour left until the general elective class, so he planned to take a leisurely stroll. His sneakers became a little bit dirty as he walked on the brown grass, because they had been splashed with mud during the rain the other day. He thought about washing them, but he didn’t have time.
Come to think of it, it seemed like he had forgotten something else too. Heewoon thought deeply and realized that he hadn’t printed out his class assignment. He also left his USB drive at home.
“Ugh…”
Heewoon sighed as he touched his forehead. Nonetheless, he had a one-hour break, so he figured he could take a taxi home to fetch it. It was a bit tight on time, though…
Heewoon contemplated for a moment and then sent a message from his phone.
[What are you doing, Mom?]
He received a prompt reply from his mom.
[I’m just sitting down.]
So he decided to make a call.
– Yes, Heewoon?
“Mom, I’m really sorry, but could you email me the assignment that’s on my USB?”
– ….
“Nevermind, mom. I’ll just…”
Heewoon felt maybe he shouldn’t have asked that to his mom. He wanted to continue talking, but his mom’s response left him wide-eyed.
– I’m not at home right now. Sorry.
Heewoon blinked. The sky appeared vividly blue.
“Oh, I see. Don’t worry, Mom. I have time to go home, but it was just a bit bothersome, so I asked you.”
– Should I go home now and send it to you?
“No, it’s okay. The weather is really nice today.”
Heewoon looked around and smiled a bit. His mom responded, ‘That’s true.’
“Then, see you later, Mom. I’m hanging up-.”
Heewoon fiddled with his phone for a moment. If she had only gone to the store, his mom would have mentioned so, thus it seemed like his mom had gone out for some other reason. About a month ago, she had gone to the hospital and met a friend, too.
This was a good sign.
He fervently wished that his mom would go out and enjoy herself, regaining her spirits.
His mom, lying down and watching TV, sometimes had a very frightening expression. Heewoon thought that his mom couldn’t sense the TV screen, the noise, or the cold air from the turned-off heater.
It was as if she were a dead person.
So Heewoon intentionally spoke in a cheerful manner. ‘Mom, I’m home!’ When he greeted her like that, his mom would turn around somewhat startled and ask, ‘Heewoon, you’ve arrived?’ with a smile.
Heewoon felt grateful for the smile on her face, yet at the same time, he feared that he might lose that smile.
Three years ago, his mom was diagnosed with stage 1 liver cancer and immediately underwent a liver resection. At that time, Heewoon felt like the sky was falling, but looking back, they were incredibly lucky. For the cancer to be diagnosed at stage. After the surgery, his dad and brother had been together with them, so they were able to smile.
His mom recovered quickly.
Until a month later when his dad passed away.
After his dad’s death, his mom’s physical condition seemed to have halted right there. Her physical strength and immunity were significantly weakened, making it difficult for her to carry out everyday activities. In fact, she seemed to get worse. It was like one misfortune after another was gnawing at his mom.
Eventually, his mom ended up spending most of her time in front of the TV, occasionally wearing that frightening expression that made Heewoon uneasy.
That’s why Heewoon felt relieved when his mom went out. She seemed tired yesterday, but maybe she got better today.
***
Kangwoo came to pick up Heewoon after his classes. Kangwoo watched Heewoon putting on his belt, then he started the car. Kangwoo opened his mouth slowly.
“How was the movie?”
“Huh?”
“Did you enjoy it?”
He hadn’t asked him that during lunch, so Heewoon stared at Kangwoo blankly now.
“I figured you wouldn’t tell me if I didn’t ask.”
Kangwoo said as he checked the side mirror and turned the steering wheel.
“Oh… yeah, it was great.”
Hmm… Kangwoo nodded slightly. But Heewoon felt like his answer was lacking something, so he added.
“I also ate something delicious.”
As he spoke, he felt awkward, like he was making too much of an effort to cater to his tastes. Heewoon was acting as if Seo Kangwoo had genuinely helped him. The thing with the card was, he was kind of forced into it. And yet…
“Something delicious? What did you eat?”
Kangwoo gave Heewoon a quick glance.
“A hamburger.”
“Ah, you had a hamburger.”
Kangwoo mumbled softly and smiled briefly. It had an undertone that suggested he had been curious about it all along.
Heewoon glanced at Kangwoo briefly and then looked ahead. They were now leaving the parking lot. Kangwoo, who had been silent for a while, asked gently.
“Is a hamburger something delicious for you, Sunbae?”
“Yeah…”
We should go get hamburgers. Kangwoo said with a slight smile as he glanced at Heewoon. Heewoon awkwardly replied and then turned to look straight ahead. He suddenly remembered the phone call with his mom earlier.
Why did she answer as if she were at home?
Heewoon had heard rumors from the neighbors. They pitied the son of that house. They also talked about how their debt was piling up, but the mom, who appeared perfectly fine, just lay in bed at home. Such words might have reached his mom’s ears, and that worried Heewoon a lot.
If she had to be secretive even for just going out for a while, it felt too sad.
While others might not understand his mom, Heewoon did. His mom had faced such unbearable hardships that she just couldn’t find the strength to keep going.
It wasn’t that she was in pain every day, or that she was depressed all day long. Even when she seemed fine, she wasn’t okay. Yes, that’s how it was.
But very occasionally,
Questions starting with ‘But why, mom?’ would come to his mind. They were bad questions filled with unfairness and resentment.
Then what Heewoon did was always the same. He suppressed those questions that welled up from deep inside and reminded himself to be grateful that his mom was alive. It was also good to think about the emotions he felt when his mom was diagnosed with liver cancer. It was extremely difficult, but when he reminded himself of his dad’s death, all that remained was a fond feeling for his mom.
His mom was the only family Heewoon had left.
Heewoon typed a message on his phone, [Mom, when you’re home…], but then deleted it. He didn’t want his mom to feel burdened.
When he looked out the window again, he was a bit surprised to realize they were in front of Seo Kangwoo’s house. The massive gate was slowly opening. Had he really been lost in thought for that long?
Heewoon turned his head to look at Kangwoo. He was in the process of trying to figure out how not to do this ’playing hard to get’ thing that Kangwoo talked about. For now, he was thinking of trying to look at Kangwoo more often.
“Hm? Is there a place you’d like to go?”
Kangwoo asked affectionately, tilting his head slightly.
“No.”
Heewoon shook his head. Now that he looked at Kangwoo and had to have a conversation with him, It felt a bit awkward. He wondered if there’s another way than looking at Kangwoo for this not ‘playing hard to get’ issue. Heewoon thought about it deeply as he got out of the car and followed Kangwoo.
A dog in the garden rushed over, wagging its tail, as soon as it saw its owner. Heewoon stood at a distance and watched Kangwoo playing with the dog. His gaze lingered there, lost in thought.
After a while, Kangwoo turned around and noticed Heewoon’s gaze. He stared at Heewoon in that spot.
“…”
“…”
There was silence as their gazes locked at a distance of about four steps.
Heewoon hesitated, then cautiously asked, ‘Why?’ Kangwoo let out a small sigh and walked closer.
“Why, why…”
Kangwoo remained expressionless, which made Heewoon so scared that he took a step back. However, Kangwoo’s stride was much quicker than Heewoon’s timid retreat.
Kangwoo seized his arm and pulled him closer, their lips crashing together.
The hand that had been gripping Heewoon’s arm let go and slid down to his waist, pulling closer. Their bodies pressed against each other, fitting perfectly. Another hand, digging into the nape of Heewoon’s neck, ruffled his hair as if unable to control its emotions.
“Unhhh…”
Heewoon half-lifted his eyelids, rolling his pupils. Although they were inside the gate and couldn’t be seen from the outside, there was no guarantee that someone working in the house wouldn’t see them. Heewoon didn’t know when someone might emerge from the entrance. There was also the possibility that someone might be standing in the spacious window in the living room.
Heewoon clutched Kangwoo’s clothes when Kangwoo’s tongue brushed against the roof of his mouth. When their lips parted for a moment, Heewoon, gasping for breath, said.
“What if someone sees us…”
Before he could finish his sentence, Kangwoo slid his tongue between his parted lips. Heewoon’s back arched slightly, and his breathing became increasingly laboured.
Haa-
Pulling back with a sigh, Kangwoo lightly brushed his lips across Heewoon’s cheek and jaw before pressing them firmly against the back of his ear.The low whisper with a split end resonated through his earlobe.
“I was going to do it upstairs…”
Kangwoo bit down lightly on Heewoon’s earlobe and licked it slightly. Then he raised his head.
“But you kept tempting me.”
“Wh-when did I… I didn’t do that.”
“Is that so? But why do I feel turned on?”
Their eyes met in a close distance. Kangwoo’s lips curved upward ever so slightly.
When Heewoon only pouted without saying a word, Kangwoo chuckled softly and buried his face in Heewoon’s shoulder.
Heewoon, supporting Kangwoo’s large body somewhat unsteadily, glanced around briefly. The sun was about to set, but there were no signs of red streaks in the sky yet. It meant that there was still a lot of time until the people working at this house would finish and leave.
Kangwoo turned his head away from Heewoon’s shoulder to face him and looked up at him. Then, he nonchalantly asked.
“Are you looking for a place for us to fuck?”
“N-no! We’re outside right now, how can we…”
Kangwoo chuckled dryly as Heewoon panicked. Straightening his back, he looked down at Hee-woon and asked slowly.
“What if I say I want to do it?”
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