“When Mom goes to Auntie’s house, I think I’ll go there too.”
–Huh? When?
“What? The day after tomorrow.”
–The day after tomorrow?
Anxiety blossomed in Heewoon’s heart as he listened to his aunt’s voice asking as if she had no idea. Thump. His heart began to beat rapidly.
“Yes. Mom said she’s going there to help Auntie… Or maybe, it’s supposed to be a surprise visit.”
Heewoon added with a forced laugh. The laughter sounded awkward and forced, even to himself.
–…Heewoon.
His aunt called his name with a voice similar to his mother’s, which only increased Heewoon’s anxiety. The wind blew fiercely, and his hand holding the phone became stiff. Heewoon switched hands, putting his cold hand in his pocket.
“Yes, Auntie?”
The hand he put in the fluffy pocket didn’t warm up quickly. Instead, it turned ice-cold at his aunt’s next words.
–Do you not know about your mother’s surgery?
His rapidly beating heart seemed to stop for a moment and then shut down. Everything in his head went blank.
“Surgery… What surgery? I haven’t heard anything.”
Heewoon stammered as confusion clearly crept into his tone. He heard a sigh through the receiver.
–Oh, that girl. I thought something was off.
His aunt clicked her tongue.
Heewoon’s pupils shook as he couldn’t grasp what was happening. He thought back to when his mother had been diagnosed with liver cancer. The idea of his mother being absent, which he had never imagined before, had been too difficult and frightening.
“What kind of surgery?”
Heewoon’s voice, calmly asking the question, trembled ever so slightly.
–Ah, there’s a lump in her uterus…
“A lump?”
Heewoon interrupted his aunt, his voice breaking. Tears welled up quickly.
–Uh, no. It’s just a uterine fibroid. Nothing to worry about at all. She still needs general anesthesia. Why didn’t she tell her own son? She should have called me.
The words directed at Heewoon quickly turned into a mumble to herself.
Heewoon’s mind raced. Why did his mother hide this from him if it’s nothing to worry about? The nonchalant tone in his aunt’s voice also seemed strange. If it’s not a big deal, why did she need general anesthesia?
Why did Mom tell his aunt and not him…?
–I think she didn’t want you to know because she didn’t want you to worry. Don’t worry too much, Heewoon.
Heewoon listened to his aunt’s words in a daze. If you look it up, you’ll see that it’s really not a big deal, and she’ll recover quickly….
Heewoon, who was still in a daze, opened his mouth.
“Auntie.”
–Yeah?
“Did she borrow money from you?”
-…..
A surgery requiring general anesthesia would undoubtedly be expensive. But the money Heewoon gave his mom would be far from enough. Ever since they found themselves in debt, they couldn’t even afford health insurance.
–Your mom knows how hard you work, and she must have not wanted to burden you unnecessarily. It’s also not an open surgery, it’s just a really simple surgery….
His aunt said in a stern voice.
And Heewoon thought it over.
Did mom hide it from him because she didn’t want Heewoon to worry for her? Or was it because she was worried about the money?
“Yes.”
Yes, Auntie. I know. Yes. Thank you.
Heewoon kept his head down and continued to answer his aunt. After disconnecting the call, Heewoon went straight to search on the internet, wiping the slightly pooled tears with the back of his hand. Although the term was unfamiliar to him, a lot of search results came up. He looked at them for a while.
Heewoon read all of them, including reviews and inquiries. It was as his aunt said. There were people who said it was scary, but no one was scared of dying from it.
However, he still felt anxious. It was a surgery that required general anaesthesia, which was not something to take lightly.
But his mom had hidden this from him.
She had planned to undergo surgery without him, lying to him that she was going to his Aunt’s place instead. She didn’t want Heewoon to get worried. She even borrowed money from his aunt.
Tears trickled down Heewoon’s cheeks, landing on the phone’s screen.
This was a complete mess.
Heewoon was so scared that something would go wrong with his mother, and he was angry too. He was saddened by the thought of what his mother must have felt to hide it from him. He was frustrated that this had to happen to them when they only had a few million won.
And….
He hated himself for asking whether his mom had borrowed money the moment he heard his mom was sick.
Heewoon kept his head down and wiped his tears roughly. He had to call his mom. He needed to know what was going on and the details of the surgery.
It was then. A low voice interrupted his thoughts.
“What are you doing here?”
Heewoon jumped in surprise, raising his head.
“What have you been doing here that you didn’t come to…”
Kangwoo had been walking towards Heewoon but stopped in his tracks when he saw Heewoon’s face. His brow furrowed and he said coldly.
“Why are you crying?”
Heewoon rubbed his tears and shook his head, saying it was nothing. He hadn’t realized that the sun had already set, and he checked his watch. It was well past 5 pm.
“Ah… I didn’t realize it had gotten this late.”
“That’s not the point. Why are you sobbing here?”
In front of Heewoon who was sitting on the bench, Kangwoo asked irritably. Kangwoo’s gaze felt icy as it landed on his reddened cheeks and nose. Heewoon hesitated for a moment, and then finally opened his mouth.
“My mom…”
His voice quivered so much that he had to swallow his saliva.
“She’s sick. And she didn’t even tell me…”
The corner of his mouth twitched, and another tear slid down his cheek. Standing a foot away, Kangwoo let out a long sigh.
“So, you’ve been crying outside?”
“…”
“People are looking because a grown man is crying.”
Heewoon snuffled and leaned his head back. Kangwoo looked down at the round head, before shifting his gaze away. The hand gripping the cell phone was red, as were the thin ankles peeking out from under the jeans.
“For now, let’s go.”
Kangwoo grabbed Heewoon’s wrist and pulled him to his feet.
“I… I think I should go home.”
“I get it, so let’s go to the car.”
A large hand covered the back of Heewoon’s hand that was clutching his phone. The back of his hand quickly became warm. With his head bowed, Heewoon was dragged by Kangwoo.
As they got into the car with the heater on, Heewoon realized he was shivering from the cold. Kangwoo looked at Heewoon pitifully as he snuffled and handed him a tissue.
“I almost got mad because I thought Sunbae was running away.”
“Huh?”
Heewoon’s eyes were red as he wiped his nose. While his eyes stayed on Heewoon’s clothes, Kangwoo muttered.
“You look like a bunny today.”
Kangwoo rested his head on his elbow against the backrest and glanced at Heewoon, who was sobbing. Feeling the gaze, Heewoon looked up at Kangwoo. As Heewoon rubbed his eyes with the back of his hand, Kangwoo handed him more tissues.
Heewoon took the tissues and thought to himself. While he always swallowed back his years in front of his mother, it felt so natural to cry in front of Seo Kangwoo.
Seo Kangwoo only looked at Heewoon wordlessly, not doing anything else. Heewoon took a deep breath. A small squeak escaped from time to time, but he felt he had cried enough.
“Kangwoo, can I leave now?”
Heewwon put his hands on the doorknob and stretched halfway up.
Kangwoo snorted and tugged at the nape of Heewoon’s neck. The shirt that was up to his neck choked Heewoon, making him cough out a small gurgle.
Without any hint of apology, Kangwoo cupped Heewoon’s face in one hand. His cheeks, reddened by the temperature difference, were squished in his hand.
His wide-open eyes were still wet and red around the corners.
“Where do you think you’re going while looking like this?”
Kangwoo clicked his tongue as he looked at Heewoon’s face. Heewoon’s expression became laced with nervousness, so Kangwoo sighed and let go of his face.
“I’ll take you home.”
“Huh?”
Heewoon’s eyes widened.
“Why?”
At his dazedly blurted words, Kangwoo answered casually.
“What if someone makes fun of you for crying on the street, Sunbae?”
“…I won’t cry anymore.”
“Yeah. That’s good.”
Muttering in a low voice, Kangwoo’s gaze lingered on Heewoon’s face.
***
Heewoon opened the front door. It was dark inside the house. He stood still with his hand on the doorknob, taking deep breaths. He took out his phone and switched the camera to selfie mode to examine his face. His eyes were a little red, but he didn’t look like someone who had been crying.
“…If I tell him, it will only make him worry even more. What can I do?”
Heewoon heard his mother’s voice coming from the room. Heewoon was about to close the front door but froze in his tracks. It seemed like his mother was on the phone with his aunt.
“If Heewoon knew, he would’ve been against your help. Then he would have tried to find a way to get the money, even if it meant losing sleep and working longer hours. He’s already very thin now…”
His mother’s voice choked up before she could finish her sentence. There was a moment of silence, as if his aunt was saying something.
Heewoon stood there silently, staring at the semi-transparent glass. The yellow tape stuck to the broken window looked even more shabby today.
“Unnie won’t understand. Losing my husband and getting a debt that I wouldn’t be able to repay for the rest of my life. Do you know what it feels like to use the money your son earns, Unnie?”
His mother’s voice raised. Every word she said pierced Heewoon’s heart.
“I know. I really know. I hate myself for being like this too.”
Heewoon bit his lip hard.
“I… ”
The voice from behind the door broke off. The low voice was thick with sadness and resignation.
The last rays of twilight cast their light. The semi-transparent window turned red, and his mom’s silhouette faintly loomed. A voice, almost inaudible but still distinct, flew into the doorway.
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