“I wish I could just di…”
“I’m home.”
Heewoon interrupted his mom’s words and shouted loudly. Bang-! He slammed the front door deliberately hard and took off his shoes.
“I’m hanging up.”
His mom said softly from inside the room. Heewoon took a deep breath and opened the sliding door. His mom, with her phone in her hand, smiled at him.
“Heewoon, you’re home?”
It was dark in the room, lit only by the glow of the setting sun, but Heewoon didn’t bother to switch on the light. It had to stay dark, so both his mother and himself could hide their red eyes.
Heewoon put down his bag and closed and opened his eyes. It felt like a sharp object had pierced his chest, causing him intense pain.
“You heard about me from Auntie, did you?”
“Yeah.”
Heewoon slowly took off his coat and hung it on the hanger. He needed time to make sure that when he spoke, no tears or resentment would come out.
He sat down without saying a word, and after a while, he finally found his voice.
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
“…I didn’t want you to be burdened.”
With this, it became certain. His mom had hidden it because of the money. Heewoon took a deep breath to calm himself. His mother placed her hand gently on Heewoon’s hand.
“It’s not something serious, but I didn’t want my son to worry unnecessarily.”
Her tone was completely different from the anger and sadness she’d shown his aunt earlier. Emotions that Heewoon had barely suppressed earlier surged up. As soon as Heewoon opened his mouth, words came out hastily.
“Have you ever thought about what would happen if I found out later? Do you know how I feel right now? And… no matter how, even if she’s my aunt, why did you borrow money? If our debt keeps increasing…”
The words filled with emotions that were on the verge of overflowing suddenly stopped. It was because tears were flowing down his mother’s cheeks. His mother tightly clenched Heewoon’s hand and spoke in a choked voice while looking at her son’s face.
“It’s 1 billion won, Heewoon. Does it really matter if it increases by a few million won here?”
Her words, laced with despair, stung Heewoon’s heart again. Short breaths escaped through Heewoon’s slightly parted lips.
“I’m working hard to pay it off right now.”
Heewoon said in a small voice. His whispers sounded like the rustling of leaves in the wind.
“I can pay it all off. We just need to stay more spirited together. But… but if mom says it that way, what am I supposed to do now?”
His voice trembled with anguish.
The things that Heewoon was desperately trying to hold on to kept slipping through his fingers. His mom might be one of those things. If the grip on his hand loosened even a little, his mom might slip away without any hesitation.
The one struggling was always himself.
“Why is mom always…”
Heewoon stopped himself from speaking further when he saw his mom’s contorted expression. He squeezed his eyes shut, trying to calm his labored breathing. Tears that flowed along his mom’s cheeks fell onto Heewoon’s fingertips.
This was the reason his mother and himself both hid their true feelings.
‘I wish I could just di…’
Those words echoed painfully.
“…I’m going to the lesson.”
Heewoon stood up from his seat. His mom’s hand, which had been covering his hand, slipped off. Carrying his bag and coat, Heewoon left as if he were escaping. His mom watched her son’s retreating back with silent tears.
***
Heewoon’s chest heaved restlessly. He clenched his teeth to suppress the urge to cry and rolled his eyes.
On one side of the alley, a familiar car caught his eye. Heewoon furrowed his brow as he tried to get a better look, and then, the window rolled down.
The person leaning out of the window was Kangwoo.
“Get in.”
Heewoon was taken aback but got into the car. It seemed like after Kangwoo had dropped him off earlier, he had been waiting here.
“Why didn’t you leave…”
“It’s the day you pretend to go tutoring.”
Kangwoo replied casually and drove off without another word.
The car stopped in front of a hotel.
Heewoon was a bit surprised by Seo Kangwoo’s sudden appearance, stopping his tears. Walking behind Kangwoo in the fancy hotel lobby, Heewoon thought to himself. They must be here for sex.
That would make today even worse.
The glistening golden elevator doors opened. Kangwoo, who briefly glanced back at Heewoon following him, pressed a button. Heewoon checked the button and then looked up at Kangwoo.
“Why?”
Kangwoo tilted his head. Next to the button at the very top, there was an inscription that read ‘Rooftop Bar.’ When Heewoon kept glancing at the button, Kangwoo made a sound as if he understood something. Ah.
“You were expecting that.”
Kangwoo’s eyes twinkled and he smiled, stroking Heewoon’s hair. Heewoon hadn’t been expecting anything, but he didn’t make the mistake of saying it out loud. His gaze remained fixed on the signboard. Then, he felt Kangwoo’s gaze.
Kangwoo’s attention was drawn to the hoodie Heewoon was holding in his hand. After some hesitation, Heewoon started putting the hoodie on. However, Kangwoo’s gaze didn’t waver away, so Heewoon even zipped up his hoodie all the way to the top, and finally Kangwoo’s gaze shifted away.
When they got off the elevator, Heewoon’s eyes widened slightly. A vast night view stretched out before him, and a cool breeze brushed against his cheeks. He followed behind Kangwoo, trying to keep his flailing hair from obscuring his vision. Perhaps because of the cold, there was no one in the comfortable-looking seats.
Following the guidance from the staff, they entered the inner area, warm air welcoming them. The entire wall was made of glass, so they could still enjoy the sparkling night view.
Heewoon looked up at the ceiling. He couldn’t tell if it was a transparent ceiling or if it was covered with glass. When he opened his eyes a little wider, Kangwoo suddenly stopped, causing Heewoon’s chin to collide with Kangwoo’s stiff shoulder.
Clicking his tongue, Kangwoo pulled Heewoon’s arm and sat him down on a chair.
As Kangwoo sat down across from him, a waiter handed them a menu and began explaining the chef’s special courses. Kangwoo occasionally nodded, but his gaze remained fixed on Heewoon throughout.
Heewoon stared at the candle inside a glass decoration on the table and then turned his head to look out the window again. His pupils, filled with the view, trembled ever so slightly from side to side but didn’t move.
“I’ll have this.”
The straight finger pointed to a menu item. Kangwoo promptly ordered a suitable cocktail.
Leaning comfortably in the plush chair, Kangwoo watched Heewoon’s face. The eyes that had been busy taking in the night view were now dark. His slightly parted lips were now sealed.
It wasn’t until the food arrived that Heewoon turned his head. Heewoon had been lost in thought that he hadn’t noticed what Kangwoo had ordered.
On a large plate, there was a thick homemade burger, salad, and french fries. It was a bit surprising because Heewoon had overheard the waiter briefly explaining the recommended course earlier. He took a sip of his sweet cocktail and then picked up his fork and knife.
Heewoon enjoyed his meal while gazing at the dazzling scenery. Occasionally, Kangwoo’s gaze reached Heewoon’s slow-moving hands.
Soft music filled the silence as they had their meals.
“Do you not like it?”
“Huh?”
Kangwoo suddenly spoke, causing Heewoon to widen his eyes and look at him.
“Your expression doesn’t seem like you’re enjoying the food.”
“Ah…”
Only then did Heewoon realize that Kangwoo had ordered the handmade burger because he had mentioned it last time. Perhaps his reaction hadn’t been enthusiastic enough, despite how thoughtful Kangwoo had been. Heewoon glanced at Kangwoo, before speaking.
“The patty is thick…”
“What?”
“It’s delicious.”
The vegetables are fresh too… Heewoon added hesitantly.
Kangwoo, who had been quietly observing Heewoon, let out a soft laugh. Eat a lot then, he said in a voice laced with laughter.
They finished their burgers and Heewoon was concentrating on dipping his fork into the cherry tomatoes in his salad. Kangwoo suddenly said.
“I’ll recommend you to a hospital.”
“Huh?”
The cherry tomato slipped off the fork and bounced onto the table, leaving traces of dressing behind. Kangwoo, watching the tomato roll, slightly furrowed his brow. Heewoon noticed that and tried to catch it with the fork, but Kangwoo stopped him.
“Don’t pick things up and eat them.”
“…I didn’t mean to pick it up to eat it.”
Heewoon denied it, but Kangwoo didn’t listen. He used a napkin to wrap the tomato and pushed it to one side of the table.
“Have your mother’s surgery in that hospital.”
“About my mom… You knew about it all along?”
“Yes.”
Heewoon’s pupils trembled as he looked at Kangwoo’s calm face. Unlike the agitated Heewoon, Kangwoo acted very naturally. He gently took the fork from Heewoon’s hand and dug into the cherry tomatoes on the plate.
“How…”
As Heewoon began to speak seriously, a cherry tomato popped into his mouth. Heewoon closed his mouth and moved his jaw. The fresh juice burst in his mouth. Kangwoo watched Heewoon chew and said.
“Sunbae, if something out of the ordinary happens around you or your surroundings, it reaches my ears.”
Heewoon wasn’t surprised, as he had always known Kangwoo was spying on him, but his expression still became twisted.
“Why…”
“Hmm?”
“Why didn’t you tell me? Since you knew all along.”
Emotion crept into Heewoon’s voice. The emotions he’d laid aside earlier flared up at the slightest provocation.
“You could have told me.”
Heewoon glared at Kangwoo and scowled. Kangwoo tilted his head at an angle to meet Heewoon’s fierce eyes. Putting down his fork, he asked.
“Are you drunk from the cocktail?”
“No.”
Heewoon answered curtly to the question that came out of the blue.
“Then why are you looking at me like that?”
“…….”
“Have I been too nice….”
The eyes that met Heewoon’s were cold.
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