When Heewoon regained consciousness, he found himself lying on top of Kangwoo, who was leaning against the headboard of the bed. His vision was still blurry, and his body felt damp.
“Kangwoo.”
“Yes.”
Kangwoo answered as he slowly stroked Heewoon’s back.
“Are you done… being angry with me?”
“I’m still considering it.”
Heewoon felt it was unfair to hear Kangwoo’s words. In his opinion, it had been enough. His head was throbbing, and his vision was still dizzy. Even the slap he received suddenly felt too painful. It hurt so much that he wondered if a tooth had come loose when he was hit.
Heewoon touched his cheek. The sensation was dull, and he couldn’t tell if he was bleeding or not. Why can’t I feel anything? Maybe his head was injured when he was hit.
“It’s because you drank alcohol.”
Kangwoo pushed Heewoon’s hand away and gently touched the reddened cheek. Heewoon winced as the tender touch made his cheek ache. He frowned as he remembered the slap from earlier. Kangwoo’s gaze focused on that spot.
“I feel dizzy.”
As Kangwoo swept Heewoon’s wet hair back, he glanced briefly at the bedsheet. Although the blanket was thrown aside, orange stains were everywhere on the white sheet. It was due to the spilled alcohol from the bottle.
“Did you know that you wet yourself earlier, Sunbae?”
Kangwoo casually remarked. Heewoon widened his eyes.
“…Huh?”
As Heewoon blinked his eyes, Kangwoo turned Heewoon’s face towards the alcohol soaked into the bed. It looked yellowish.
Heewoon rolled off Kangwoo’s body as if in a hurry. Kneeling down, his face twisted in embarrassment.
“Ah, I… I’m sorry.”
Reaching out, Heewoon fumbled with the damp sheet. In an attempt to remove it, he pulled it, but instead, his stance wobbled. Kangwoo caught him before he could fall under the bed.
“After reaching this age, you can’t even control yourself to the bathroom.”
“Sorry. I-I can run the laundry right now.”
Perhaps because of the embarrassment, or maybe the alcohol wearing off, Heewoon seemed a bit more awake. He mumbled apologies while weakly pulling the sheet with his hands. He couldn’t help but think about how he managed to pee so much. As if vomiting wasn’t enough, now this…
As Heewoon tried to confirm if he had indeed wet himself, he felt his inner thigh. It was damp and gloomy. Once again, he felt like crying. He was angry at himself. Why did he drink so much yesterday? If he hadn’t drunk, Kangwoo wouldn’t have been angry, he wouldn’t have been slapped, and he wouldn’t be dealing with this humiliating situation.
“Yeah, right.”
While feeling the damp thigh, Heewoon was startled and turned his head. Kangwoo’s gaze was casually on the wet sheet. Although he could wash the blanket, the mattress couldn’t be cleaned. Heewoon felt both shame and fear.
“I was wrong. This… I made a mistake because I was scared.”
“You make mistakes because you’re scared? You’re not a damn dog.”
“…D-Don’t say that… Don’t say such things.”
“Woo Heewoon.”
As Kangwoo called out his full name, Heewoon shuddered.
“N-Nothing.”
“What’s nothing? If I call you, you should answer.”
“Yeah.”
Looking at Heewoon’s miserable face, Kangwoo spoke slowly.
“A damn dog should sleep outside in a doghouse.”
“…W-With Lexy?”
“My Lexy is sleeping on the first floor. It’s too cold outside.”
Heewoon curled up. It seemed like Seo Kangwoo was thinking of kicking him out. It was already too cold right now. Lexy would sleep inside the house, and Heewoon would sleep outside.
“Sunbae, you’re a damn dog who doesn’t listen.”
“I’m not!”
“Then what are you?”
Kangwoo shrugged expressionlessly.
“Me…? I’m Heewoon.”
Heewoon blinked dazedly and said that. Kangwoo’s lips twitched. Ah, I shouldn’t have made him drink. Kangwoo muttered as if regretting it.
Kangwoo wrapped his hand around Heewoon’s cheek, who was staring back blankly.
“Are you sure you’re Heewoon and not a damn dog?”
“Yeah.”
Watching Heewoon quickly nod his head, Kangwoo finally burst into laughter.
Heewoon looked at Kangwoo strangely and uncomfortably touched the inside of his thigh. Kangwoo, who had recovered his composure, reached out.
“Sunbae, you keep peeing everywhere, let’s just cut it off. Your dick can’t even be controlled, cutting it off would be more comfortable.”
“No, you can’t.”
Kangwoo’s hand, as if estimating where to cut, touched Heewoon’s thigh. Heewoon pushed away Kangwoo’s hand helplessly. Heewoon suddenly stared at the sheet.
“But, Kangwoo…”
“Yes.”
Heewoon blinked again as he looked at the blanket. If he remembered correctly, Seo Kangwoo poured alcohol over his head earlier.
“This… seems like alcohol.”
“Really?”
Looking at Kangwoo’s indifferent face, Heewoon felt anger rising. Even in his drunken state, he knew he shouldn’t complain, so Heewoon clenched his teeth and stood up.
“I’ll go to the bathroom.”
Kangwoo watched Heewoon’s retreating back with his head down.
Heewoon’s legs stretched long beneath his quite plump buttocks. Even his ankles were slender. Until the bathroom door closed, Kangwoo’s gaze did not leave Heewoon’s ankles.
After a while, the sound of a shower was heard, followed by a clattering sound as if something had fallen. Kangwoo sighed, got up from the bed, and headed to the bathroom.
The shower booth door was open, causing water to splash outside. Inside the shower booth, Heewoon was sitting, huddled, with shower products scattered around him.
“What are you doing?”
Kangwoo tilted his head, asking.
“Washing… my hair.”
Heewoon continued to scratch his head, not even realizing that the shampoo intended for his hair had fallen on his forehead. Naturally, no foam formed.
“So when will you be washing your hair like that?”
Kangwoo kneeled in front of Heewoon, reaching out. Heewoon closed his eyes tightly.
Expressing his anger to Seo Kangwoo was impossible, but Heewoon was seething inside from the earlier joke. Even after brushing his teeth, his frustration continued to rise, so he went to take a shower. But maybe he should have just left the bathroom.
“Did you throw everything out of anger?”
A gentle voice accompanied by a hand softly touched Heewoon’s nose.
“I didn’t throw them! T-They just… fell.”
Heewoon’s loud voice burst out unintentionally but gradually subsided at the end of his sentence.
Kangwoo slightly raised the corner of his mouth at Heewoon, who still had his eyes shut. He took shampoo from Heewoon’s forehead, where it was trickling down his nose, and applied it to Heewoon’s hair. When Heewoon heard the pumping sound of more shampoo, he sneakily opened his eyes.
“Keep your eyes closed.”
Kangwoo’s voice was neither affectionate nor cold, just right in between. Heewoon closed his eyes again. Bubbles formed, and the scent of shampoo spread. Feeling the gentle hand massaging his hair, Heewoon, as if involuntarily, opened his mouth.
“Kangwoo.”
“….”
“Kangwoo. Are you angry?”
“What if I am?”
Kangwoo replied indifferently, picking up the showerhead. Only then did Heewoon, who had his buttocks entirely stuck to the floor, mumble quietly.
“I’ll be careful…”
As Kangwoo observed Heewoon intently, he suddenly sprayed water over Heewoon’s head. Startled by the sudden attack, Heewoon trembled.
“Sunbae, try to be quiet today. Imagining how you were yesterday, I’m getting annoyed.”
“….”
Kangwoo wiped Heewoon’s face with his hand, and after rinsing his hair, he also washed Heewoon’s body. It was only when Kangwoo was about to dry him with a towel that he realized how unusually quiet Heewoon was.
Kangwoo thoroughly inspected Heewoon’s face. Sulking lips, and dampness around the corner of his eyes.
“Are you crying?”
“Hiiccc…”
As Heewoon received Kangwoo’s attention, he sobbed. Kangwoo tilted his head and asked.
“Why are you crying?”
“B-Because, hicc… You keep being angry at me…. Even though I won’t be drinking alcohol anymore from now on.”
Looking at Heewoon who was sobbing uncontrollably, Kangwoo clicked his tongue and embraced Heewoon, as he said.
“Shall I throw you outside for real?”
“….”
Heewoon thought he wouldn’t die since it was the second floor. Ah, I might die if I fall on my head. However, that might be less painful, so it might be better. The bigger problem was not dying. It would be incredibly painful, and if things went wrong, it could lead to a disability… And if I became disabled, how would I make money…
“There’s a higher probability you won’t die.”
“Ah… I see.”
Kangwoo’s sudden statement surprised Heewoon a bit, but he nodded. Kangwoo laughed a little, seemingly amused.
Carrying Heewoon, Kangwoo left the room. They were heading to the guest room on the first floor.
Heewoon, who had just washed but still smelled of alcohol, suddenly raised his head. Kangwoo, who carried him, was descending the stairs. Heewoon swallowed nervously.
“W-Where are we going?”
Seo Kangwoo remained silent, something unusual for him. Heewoon anxiously rolled his eyes until they arrived at a room he had never entered before, feeling a bit relieved that Kangwoo wasn’t taking him to the doghouse outside.
“But how did you figure out the passcode pattern?”
Here we go again. Kangwoo threw Heewoon onto the bed as he said that. Heewoon, feeling dizzy, closed his eyes, and Kangwoo gently stroked his head.
Receiving the touch, Heewoon opened his eyes slightly. He gazed intently at Kangwoo’s face, observing the clearly defined eyebrows, neither smiling nor frowning eyes, and slightly curved lips. Then, Heewoon spoke.
“You’re confusing.”
“What is?”
The questioning tone was soft. Heewoon squinted his eyes, studying Kangwoo’s face, seemingly indifferent.
“I don’t know if your anger has completely dissipated or not.”
“I don’t know either.”
Kangwoo gently touched Heewoon’s cheek. One side was bruised, and the other was a bit swollen but not bruised.
“If I don’t give you a proper warning, you’ll start doing things without fear again.”
The hand that was stroking the cheek slowly moved upward, gently touching the swollen eye.
“I won’t.”
“Really?”
“I really won’t.”
Heewoon mumbled, feeling unfair. If Kangwoo was about to warn him properly, just how much scarier and painful would it be, Heewoon couldn’t imagine it.
“Is that so?”
“Yeah.”
Heewoon responded quickly, and Kangwoo chuckled.
“If you drink with some other bastards again…”
As Kangwoo lifted his head, Heewoon’s face gradually stiffened. Looking at Heewoon’s frightened expression, Kangwoo chuckled and said.
“I’ll get angry.”
Knowing it wasn’t a joke, Heewoon nodded several times.
“B-But what if I accidentally drink thinking it’s water?”
“If you can’t even distinguish between water and alcohol, why would you be needing your eyes to live?”
At the sharp remark, Heewoon touched his eyes as if shielding them. Kangwoo cleared Heewoon’s hand away and inspected his eyes. Are they itchy?
“Quit the academy.”
“Okay.”
“And from now on, whenever you meet someone, tell me first.”
“I got it.”
Kangwoo wiped away the tears forming in Heewoon’s eyes.
“Only meet Jihwan at school.”
“Okay.”
“No, never mind. Just don’t look at him.”
“Okay.”
That’s right.
Kangwoo affectionately stroked Heewoon’s head. Heewoon sniffled and huddled his body.
“Are you cold?”
Nodding, Heewoon was pulled into Kangwoo’s arms, and they got under the blanket. With Kangwoo’s strong arms pressing against his cheek, Heewoon let out a small whimper. Sensing Kangwoo looking at him intently, Heewoon spoke a bit urgently.
“I’m not being clingy.”
“Who said you were?”
Smiling, Kangwoo gently stroked Heewoon’s head. As the atmosphere relaxed, Heewoon’s lips moved on their own again.
“It’s all because of the leader. He pretended to be tough with alcohol, secretly throwing it away. Then he said that I won’t be able to handle a social life.”
“He said that? What a fucking bastard.”
Heewoon nodded. Thinking about it again, it felt too unjust. He truly wasn’t drinking alcohol. There were too many unjust things. His brother’s face came to mind, his mother’s face too, and the bizarrely smiling face of a loan shark. The events from yesterday came back to him. If the leader hadn’t bothered Jihwan, he would have gone home early.
It’s all because the leader bothered him.
“More?”
Kangwoo said, stroking near his ear.
“Yeah?”
“Who else bothered you?”
The slightly hoarse voice spoke gently.
The gaze was also incredibly affectionate. Time seemed to stand still as their eyes met. Soon, tears streamed down Heewoon’s reddened eyes. Unaware of this, Heewoon just gazed at Kangwoo’s face. His slightly swollen lips parted slightly, and a whisper escaped.
“There are many people who bother me.”
Another tear rolled down his nose. Kangwoo lightly brushed it away with his finger, wiping the bridge of his nose. He spoke.
“But why don’t you talk about it?”
“Because there are too many…”
The whisper was soaked with emotion. Kangwoo gently brushed Heewoon’s hair and whispered softly.
“Even if there are too many, tell me.”
“…Yeah.”
Heewoon replied faintly and soon drifted off to sleep.
Heewoon groaned in his sleep. His head felt like it was splitting, and his stomach felt sour. His mouth was dry.
Finally opening his eyes in the dim dawn, Heewoon glanced at the sleeping Kangwoo and quietly got out of bed. Still somewhat hungover, he had to walk by steadying himself on the wall.
He went to the kitchen and drank two glasses of water in succession. The smell of alcohol persisted in his mouth. Since his toothbrush wasn’t in the first-floor bathroom, he went upstairs to brush his teeth. On his way down, he grabbed his phone from the desk.
Then, he went to the kitchen, filled another cup with water, and went to the living room. His scattered clothes caught his eye. He searched for his underwear, realizing he had left it upstairs, so he put on only his pants. After putting on a top and sitting on the sofa, he felt something hard under his buttocks. It was his phone. Unlocking it, the KakaoTalk screen appeared immediately.
[After drinking in such a hurry yesterday, you might have a hangover, Woo Heewoon.]
Staring at Jihwan’s message, Heewoon collapsed on the sofa as if he had fainted. Reading the small text made his head ache again. So, he closed his eyes and tried to sleep. Although his insides didn’t feel well and his head hurt, he tossed and turned until he eventually fell asleep.
“Why are you sleeping here?”
When he heard a voice and opened his eyes, the surroundings were bright. The smell of food wafted in, and there was activity in the kitchen. Rubbing his eyes and lifting his head, Heewoon saw Kangwoo standing with a slightly furrowed brow. Kangwoo was wearing comfortable pants below but nothing on top. Heewoon stood up hesitantly and spoke cautiously.
“I didn’t want to be noisy….”
However, Seo Kangwoo seemed somewhat displeased and directed his gaze at something. Heewoon noticed that Kangwoo’s gaze was fixed on the phone he was holding. After a moment of deep thought, Kangwoo finally spoke.
“Yesterday too, you really like your phone.”
“Huh?”
“Do you have a lot of people to contact?”
“Uh, yesterday, I was just trying to turn off the alarm….”
Heewoon’s heart thumped anxiously. Even yesterday, he couldn’t understand his drunken self, who had clung to Kangwoo.
“Should I… delete all the numbers here?”
Kangwoo tilted his head slightly.
“If I don’t have a phone, I-I can’t contact you. So, if I just delete all the other numbers….”
Watching Heewoon stumble through his words while being cautious, Kangwoo slightly raised the corner of his mouth.
“If you want to, go ahead.”
“…Yeah.”
Heewoon hesitated for a moment and then deleted all the stored numbers. He didn’t have many stored numbers to begin with, as he had changed his number and sorted things out after debt collectors came.
“I deleted them all, Kangwoo.”
Heewoon handed the phone to Kangwoo. Kangwoo nodded as he glimpsed that only the contact [Seo Kangwoo] was left. Unsure if this was the right thing to do, Heewoon observed Kangwoo’s reaction.
Suddenly, Kangwoo burst into laughter.
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