“Sunbae.”
“Yeah?”
Kangwoo reached out his hand to Heewoon’s hunched shoulders. Gently cradling the bruised cheek in his palm, he muttered as if talking to himself.
“Hugging and acting cute to me, I thought you were feeling less scared.”
“….”
“But maybe it’s not that?”
Kangwoo’s eyes softened.
“Mm-hmm.”
“Good.”
Kangwoo kissed Heewoon on the cheek. He pressed a bit too hard, and Heewoon flinched in pain. Heewoon turned his head slightly away, but when their eyes met again, it became awkward, and he returned to his original position.
Smiling, Kangwoo stroked Heewoon’s head.
“Why are you fully dressed? Isn’t it hot?”
Kangwoo tugged at the hoodie, touching the shirt inside. It was already a sweaty and humid morning.
“It’s hot.”
Sweat dripping, Kangwoo gently brushed aside Heewoon’s damp hair. Go wash up, Kangwoo said, extending his hand. Heewoon took Kangwoo’s hand, and they went upstairs.
While undressing, Kangwoo kept staring at him, so Heewoon moved a bit hastily. When he took off all his upper clothes and turned around to lower his pants, Kangwoo, who had been silently watching, approached. His hand touched the exposed buttock without underwear.
“….”
Heewoon looked away, pulling one foot out. Surely, Kangwoo wasn’t intending to have sex in the morning. Heewoon’s body was also not feeling well at the moment.
“Only one side is bruised.”
Kangwoo mumbled. He ran his fingers over the purple bruise on Heewoon’s white buttock and traced down his extended leg. There were still marks behind the ankle, where Kangwoo had bitten and sucked before.
Kangwoo’s gaze lingered there, making Heewoon awkwardly turn his body to avoid it. However, after undressing and entering the bathroom, Heewoon couldn’t escape a light petting from Kangwoo. Throughout his shower, Kangwoo kneaded his buttocks vigorously, leaving bruises on both sides. They only stepped out of the bathroom when he was satisfied with the results.
Going downstairs, Heewoon staggered a few times. It was because he had exerted too much energy since morning even though he wasn’t fully recovered from the alcohol.
Once they sat at the dining table in the kitchen, Heewoon felt a bit relieved. His buttocks twinged a little, but it wasn’t unbearable.
The table was filled with the typical luxurious meal, but seeing the appetizing food didn’t make him hungry. It just made his stomach feel stuffy. Heewoon barely swallowed a sigh that was about to escape unconsciously.
Heewoon glanced at Kangwoo and pushed a few spoonfuls into his mouth. The clear broth was at least palatable. Continuously sipping the broth, he cast a fleeting glance at Kangwoo. Kangwoo, neatly dressed in a shirt, kinda stood out because of his appearance, but he looked somewhat like an ordinary office worker. He didn’t seem like someone capable of pulling a person down to the ground.
In front of Seo Kangwoo, Heewoon often found himself descending to the ground. Even yesterday, and on many other days that he couldn’t recall precisely.
Feeling like he couldn’t eat anymore, Heewoon put the spoon down. Kangwoo’s gaze landed on his untouched bowl.
“Are you not going to eat more?”
“…Should I?”
As Heewoon hesitated with the spoon in his hand, Kangwoo chuckled slightly. Seeing Heewoon looking puzzled, Kangwoo spoke with a lingering smile.
“Sunbae, even though you’re like a nerd, you don’t annoy me.”
“Ah…”
Heewoon awkwardly nodded at the unclear praise or lament.
“This is a really difficult thing to achieve.”
“I see.”
With Kangwoo’s additional comment as if liking it, Heewoon nodded again.
“If you’re done eating, let’s go out together.”
Kangwoo stood up from his chair. His rice bowl was also not even halfway empty. Maybe he was pressed for time to get to work, Heewoon thought. Looking up at Kangwoo going upstairs, Heewoon glanced at the clock on the wall. It was a little past 7 o’clock. The company wasn’t likely to be far away from here. Heewoon thought maybe Kangwoo wanted to bring him home first.
Heewoon glanced at the barely touched bowl of rice. Maybe he should have eaten all of them slowly. It was regretful.
During their ride together in the car, Heewoon, feeling unwell, leaned his forehead against the window and closed his eyes. Seo Kangwoo seemed to exceed what ordinary humans could think of. How could he force that strong liquor down Heewoon’s throat? It could have gotten really dangerous.
Hoping that Kangwoo regretted what he did, Heewoon pretended to be a bit more unwell, leaning against the window with his forehead, but Kangwoo didn’t seem to care at all.
Kangwoo parked the car in an alley and glanced at Heewoon, who was leaning against the window. Heewoon, pretending to be unwell, coughed and touched his head.
“What are you doing today?”
“I’ll wash up and go to the academy… Ah. I think I’ll stay home.”
Heewoon recalled Kangwoo’s words from yesterday and corrected himself. Your memory seems fine. Kangwoo nodded approvingly as Heewoon mumbled.
“Even if you acted drunk, you mustn’t forget what I said.”
Heewoon slightly nodded, thinking it’s a bit contradictory to force someone to drink and then expect coherent answers.
“You have to answer properly.”
“Oh, yeah. Yeah.”
Heewoon was startled and nodded his head. Then, Kangwoo signaled him to go. Heewoon quickly lowered his head as if giving a brief greeting and got off.
After closing the car door, Heewoon, realizing his own actions, felt a bit embarrassed. However, he had done worse things yesterday. Crying, begging…
‘Why won’t you hug me?’
Heewoon remembered the many other things that he said yesterday. He bit his lip. As he entered the house, the soft sound of the car starting was heard.
Heewoon stood still, covering his eyes. He must really not have been in his right mind yesterday. How could he ask Seo Kangwoo to hug him?
“Haaa.”
A sigh escaped him. From now on, it seemed like he needed permission to meet anyone. And all contacts on his phone had been deleted.
Unconsciously, Heewoon loosened his scarf and was surprised as he tightened it again. To hide his bruised cheek, he had to be careful with his actions. He silently entered the house, carefully opened the door, and scanned the room. Fortunately, his mother was still sleeping. Even if he had to lie about it later, it was best to hide it as long as possible. He quickly went to the bathroom, changed his clothes, and dived into the blanket.
Lying still, the events of yesterday kept coming back to him. Even though Seo Kangwoo had been very lenient compared to the first time or when he tried to resist, it was still frightening. Perhaps it was because he had become accustomed to Kangwoo’s quite affectionate behavior.
Still, it was truly unexpected.
‘Who else bothered you?’
‘Even if there are too many, tell me.’
The soft voice echoed vividly. Even his unirritated expression that accepted all sorts of his drunken behaviour.
While having various thoughts, Heewoon fell asleep after some while.
The concluding thought he had before drifting off was that he should listen well to Kangwoo’s words.
***
Heewoon had been staying at home for a few days. He couldn’t go to the academy anymore, and Seo Kangwoo seemed to dislike him going out. When he asked if it was okay to go to the library yesterday, Kangwoo responded with, ‘It’s cold, why don’t you just stay home?’
It had the form of persuasion, and when Heewoon agreed, Kangwoo replied with, ‘You thought well,’ in a satisfied tone.
Since February, Heewoon started taking online classes. He had his own schedule: wake up at 8 am, have breakfast, listen to one lecture before lunch, and another after lunch. It was an easy schedule, but even so, he found himself getting more reluctant to move a muscle under the blanket. Suddenly, he felt unfamiliar with this situation.
Heewoon’s phone, which was on his side under the blanket, flashed. It was a message from Jihwan.
[Hey, Woo Heewoon. Why did you leave the study group chat?]
He was talking about Heewoon leaving the study group chat.
Because I don’t go to the academy anymore, he replied. After having breakfast and returning inside his blanket, he felt drowsy again. It was 9:30 now, so he considered lying down for another 30 minutes before attending the online class.
Then, another message came. Heewoon’s eyes widened as he lazily glanced at the screen.
[The leader hyung is hospitalized, and I’m going to visit him. Won’t you come together?]
Why is he hospitalized?
[A few days ago, he got into a car accident. You didn’t know because you left the chat.]
Heewoon read the message carefully. A car accident… Feeling urgent, Heewoon replied.
Is he hurt badly?
[He needs to stay in the hospital for another week before he’ll be discharged. He said some crazy guy suddenly rammed into him.]
Heewoon typed, ‘Is he…’ but then erased everything. He sat up, covering himself as the blanket slipped down to his shoulders, feeling a bit chilly.
“Are you going to study?”
“Ah… Yeah.”
His mother asked, turning back. Heewoon nodded. His mother lowered the TV volume. Heewoon stared at his phone screen again. Jihwan kept sending messages.
[That other guy wasn’t drunk driving, but he said he didn’t see the leader’s car. Can you believe that?]
[His daughter suddenly felt unwell, so he gave the leader his business card and rushed off.]
Daughter. So, it’s not Seo Kangwoo, Heewoon thought.
He recalled the incident where Kangwoo had unexpectedly assaulted Lee Hyukjin. The indifferent face asked, ‘Is there another bastard like him around?’. Then, he added a comment too.
‘Assholes like that guy.’
Heewoon remembered when he complained about the leader after getting drunk, Seo Kangwoo casually said while messing with his hair.
‘He said that? What a fucking bastard.’
Heewoon tightly closed and opened his eyes, pondering. Maybe Kangwoo was just playing along. Logically, there was no reason for Seo Kangwoo to intentionally harm the leader. The leader was just a typical old-fashioned guy existing everywhere, and he hadn’t bothered Heewoon that much.
Then, what about Lee Hyukjin? Was there enough reason to beat him?
“…”
Heewoon’s eyes couldn’t find a focus and shook slightly. If, by any chance, Seo Kangwoo caused this to the study group leader because Heewoon said about how he was being bothered…
[What are you going to do? Are you coming? Let’s go togetherㅠㅠ]
Jihwan pressed for Heewoon’s answer. Heewoon sent a reply, saying he would think about it, and then put the phone down. A vague memory suddenly surfaced.
‘I want to kill all the guys who were with you. But I should just go easy on you?’
Even in his hazy vision, he could remember Seo Kangwoo’s eyes flashing. And Heewoon… nodded to that. His heart sank suddenly. Then, an unpleasant habit that surfaced whenever he felt anxious or weakened emerged.
There was no way Seo Kangwoo would cause a traffic accident for such a reason. Even if he did, it wasn’t Heewoon’s fault. The person responsible was Seo Kangwoo. Even if Seo Kangwoo was a lunatic, it had nothing to do with Heewoon.
No, wait. Upon reconsideration, it didn’t seem like something he would do. A minor collision was a common occurrence, and the person who hit the leader’s car wasn’t Seo Kangwoo. And also… Also…
Heewoon tried hard, but he couldn’t think of any other reasons.
In any case, he concluded that the leader’s accident had nothing to do with Kangwoo or himself. Perhaps having seen too many harsh incidents had made his imagination more vivid. He just became too sensitive.
So, when Heewoon met Kangwoo that evening, he didn’t even consider asking about it. It was likely unrelated, and asking without reason could scratch Kangwoo’s nerves, and also…
“Sunbae, it looks like something’s up.”
Kangwoo glanced at Heewoon holding the phone. While Kangwoo was checking the side mirror due to parking, Heewoon shifted his gaze to the phone. It was Jihwan urging him to visit the leader together. Even though Heewoon thought Jihwan disliked the leader, it seemed they had become somewhat close.
“Ah, the study group leader is hospitalized.”
“So what?”
Kangwoo asked, unbuckling his seatbelt. His face showed indifference.
“Yeah, Jihwan keeps pestering me to go visit him.”
Heewoon answered casually while unfastening his seatbelt. The warmth inside the car made him take off his padding, leaving only his arms covered, so he had to untangle the belt from his clothes. Kangwoo had been silent all this time. After untangling the belt and turning his head, their eyes met. Kangwoo, who had been staring at Heewoon, smiled.
“Is Jihwan sunbae bothering you a lot?”
“No, it’s just…”
Heewoon stammered, and Kangwoo casually said.
“Instead of the leader, Jihwan sunbae should have been the one in the accident.”
Heewoon’s hand paused as he was zipping up his jacket. He hadn’t mentioned the study group leader being in an accident.
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