Chapter 24: The New Student Welcome Package
All of us in the small building huddled on the sunken sofa once again. I held a pillow in my arms, feeling hungry once more. An empty stomach is the most irritating thing.
“Where’s your brother?” Jiang Yan asked Mao Mao, who pointed upwards. I felt a glimmer of hope. “He’s finally gone back!”
“No,” Mao Mao’s fur twitched, and she looked apologetic as she gazed at me. “My brother packed his luggage and is preparing to move in here.”
“That’s great!” Jiang Yan leapt up in joy, high-fiving Qing Ming and Si Yino beside him.
I narrowed my eyes. “What are you guys trying to say?”
The three of them looked embarrassed in unison. Jiang Yan sat back on the sofa and started sucking on his blood bag, while Qing Ming went to rummage under the coffee table again. I wondered what treasure she was always digging for.
“Xiaolan Jie, um…” Si Yi Nuo hid behind Xiao Bai and spoke in a low voice. “Since you don’t like Senior Mo Ming, why don’t you let him pursue you instead?”
“That’s absolutely impossible!”
Huh? Mao Mao said the same thing, okay, I believe they’re blood siblings now. I know I’m just an ordinary human, not a beauty, but saying it like that is a bit too much.
“My brother would never like Little Lan Jie. He likes beautiful girls.”
What an irrelevant comment.
“Ha! Mao Mao, you don’t have to add insult to injury like that!”
I scowled. “Mao Mao, can you give me some face and let me be a little Mary Sue?”
Mao Mao laughed awkwardly. “Yes, sorry, I speak my mind too easily…” She fiddled with her fingers, feeling embarrassed.
“Who’s Mary Sue?” Si Yino looked confused, and Qing Ming looked at Jiang Yan in confusion. Jiang Yan looked at them and then, as if he were a scholar with extensive knowledge, he began to speak: “Mary Sue is the transliteration of the term ‘Mary Sue.’ The term originated in the foreign fanfiction community. A certain foreign author created a fictitious female protagonist named Mary Sue, who achieved great fame in the author’s self-written science fiction fan fiction. From then on, this fictitious name became a representative term for a certain mentality. Ever since then, many girls in the mortal world have referred to stories about male characters falling in love with female protagonists for no reason as ‘Mary Sue stories.'”
Qing Ming, Si Yino, and Mao Mao all stared at Jiang Yan in shock. Even I was gaping at him with my jaw dropped. “Jiang Yan, did you memorize the entire Baidu Encyclopedia?”
Jiang Yan smiled at me slightly. “Because I don’t go on missions very often, I often spend time online.”
He’s a typical otaku, a knowledge-based one!
I was taken aback by Mao Mao’s comment. “What? I don’t want to be a Mary Sue, but why would you say that?”
“It’s not that nobody would like you, it’s more like they wouldn’t dare to because if an immortal falls in love with a mortal, they have to become mortal too,” Mao Mao explained. The atmosphere in the room suddenly became serious and heavy, and Jiang Yan, Qing Ming, and Si Yino fell into silence. Si Yino even gave me a sympathetic look.
But I didn’t care. “What’s wrong with being mortal? I think it’s pretty good.”
“Of course it’s not good!” Mao Mao exclaimed. “You’ll have periods! They’re so troublesome!”
“What? You shouldn’t say that kind of thing in front of the guys,” I said awkwardly, looking at them and laughing dryly. Meanwhile, Jiang Yan spoke up: “Mortal guys also have a lot of physiological problems and uncontrollable bodily functions.”
“What kind of functions?”
“Morning erections.”
“Forget I asked.”
“There are even more serious physiological problems. Do you want to know?”
I immediately shook my head and covered my face with a pillow. “I have a general idea.” How could they discuss physiological phenomena so calmly? It made me seem vulgar. Maybe it was because they didn’t have those problems that they could discuss them so calmly. So… do the guys here not have morning erections, wet dreams, or masturbate?
“I agree, being mortal is quite troublesome in terms of physiology. You have to be hungry, you get sick…” I let out a sigh, feeling defeated.
“And you’ll get old~~~” Mao Mao covered her face.
I was taken aback, looking at her. “Hey, you can’t tell how old someone is just by looking at them, can you? By the way, how old are you guys?” I was surprised.
Suddenly, everyone fell silent and went back to doing their own thing. Mao Mao began grooming her fur, Jiang Yian turned his face to the side and snored while sucking blood, Qing Ming went to rummage through the tea table, and Si Yino hid behind Xiao Bai.
Orz, I suddenly understood why Xuan Yue was in a hurry. These people weren’t the age they appeared to be on the surface!
“Knock, knock, knock!” Suddenly, there was a knock on the door, and my heart rate increased as I became nervous. Could it be the fake loyal dog?
“Package for Xia Xiaolan!” the delivery person announced.
“Phew.” I let out a sigh of relief, but something felt off. Who would send me a package? I didn’t know anyone here. I got up from my seat, feeling both hungry and bored from the lack of romantic experiences in my life. Who doesn’t dream of a whirlwind romance during their college years?
Maybe it’s because of the national regulations that forbid kissing scenes and anything below the neck. Should I just give up on those thoughts altogether?
I couldn’t help but feel that my dark complexion and unremarkable character would make it impossible for someone as divine as a god to be interested in me.
But wait a minute!
My mother used to attend this school, so…
Instantly, a warm and sweet feeling filled my heart. My mother was willing to give up her godly status to be with my father. Such love was truly beautiful.
It seems like us girls are the ones who are more willing to make sacrifices for love.
Feeling wrapped in happiness and warmth, my earlier worries dissipated. As I opened the door, there was no one in sight, but then a voice from below said, “Congratulations, Xia Xiaolan.”
I looked down and was surprised to see a turtle carrying a package on its back.
“Your video for the freshman test has the highest click-through rate in the Immortal Realm, so you will receive a freshman gift package. Could you please sign for it?” The turtle took off the package from its back, and a signature area appeared on its shell. “Also, I’m your fan. Can you please sign my shell too? Thank you.” It bowed to me cutely.
“Sure.” I placed my finger on its shell, and my information immediately appeared. Another plane appeared with a pen floating next to it. I signed my name on the plane.
“Thank you, thank you!” The turtle happily bowed repeatedly, constantly touching its shell. It was so cute that I felt my face flush. I teased it, “Does the freshman gift package not include you?”
The little turtle was taken aback, and its face turned green and then red. It touched its face and stuttered, “I, I, I, I, I have to go!” And with that, it turned around and ran away so quickly that I was momentarily stunned!
Even turtles in the Immortal Realm were delivering packages now. I couldn’t help but feel sorry for the rabbits on the ground!
Haha, it’s so cute. I really want to have one as a pet. If no boy will love me, maybe getting a cute pet as compensation would be nice. Plus, raising a pet is much easier than being in a relationship.
Yeah, yeah! Anyway, I’m not expecting to be in a relationship anytime soon, so maybe I can get a cute pet instead.
I picked up the freshman gift package and went back to my room. It seemed like today wouldn’t be a bad day after all. Let’s see if there’s anything useful inside.
Mao Mao ran over, excitedly exclaiming, “You’ve received the freshman gift package! That’s amazing!” Yan Ye and the others joined in, “Let’s see what’s inside! The contents of the freshman gift package are different every year, but they’re always good!”
The prospect of receiving something good made me excited, so I placed the gift package on the coffee table. As it opened automatically, I wondered if I should put on some sunglasses in case it was too bright.
But I needn’t have worried. Inside the box was a transparent glass panel.
“It’s the latest smartphone model!” Mao Mao exclaimed in amazement, immediately taking it out for everyone to see.
What? A smartphone!
Wasn’t that exactly what I needed right now?
“That’s fantastic! Xiaolan, you don’t have to upgrade anymore! Here you go!” Mao Mao handed me the phone, which was still just a transparent glass panel. However, I knew that similar transparent phones already existed in the mortal world.
So I immediately activated it by tapping the screen with my finger.
“Identity confirmed: Xia Xiaolan,” a pleasant and melodious female voice came from the phone.
“Xiaolan, you can change the voice to whatever you like!” Mao Mao reminded me, extremely excited.
I don’t know what came over me, but I casually said, “Guo Degang.”
Instantly, the voice of Guo Degang came from the phone: “Hello, I’m Guo Degang, and I’m here to serve you. Speak louder, it won’t cost you anything.”
“Ha!” I couldn’t help but wonder if this magical device also had a complete collection of Guo Degang’s sayings.
