Chapter 25: Bantering with phone
“Pfft!” I couldn’t contain my laughter. “Gou Degang is truly the best.”
“Hahaha!” Mao Mao was already in fits of laughter beside me, and even Qing Ming, who rarely chuckled, turned his head and joined in with a chuckle. Si Yino was left dumbfounded by their reactions.
This is the magic of Gou Degang!
I glanced at my phone and exclaimed, “No, no, I need to change it.”
“Don’t!” All four of them reached out their hands, as if determined to prevent me from replacing Gou Degang.
I looked at them in disbelief and said, “Alright, let me see if there’s anything else.” I put down my phone and peered inside the box. Si Yino, who was hiding behind Xiao Bai, slyly extended his hand and swiftly snatched the phone to play with.
Inside the box, there was a neatly folded traditional Chinese-style dress in a beautiful crescent color, and I instantly fell in love with it! The moon-shaped pattern, the light green buttons, and the emblem of the Divine and Demon Academy on the chest—I eagerly picked it up. It turned out to be a qipao-style dress, cinched at the waist with the hem falling just above the hips. I adored it, and there was even a matching pair of pants in the box.
“This is our school uniform,” Jiang Yan explained. “You’ll need to wear it for group activities once school starts, but it’s casual for everyday wear.” Although he said it casually, Mao Mao and the others clearly showed no interest. However, I personally found this school uniform to be the most beautiful one I had ever seen.
“Cloud-Treading Shoes!” Mao Mao suddenly exclaimed, pulling out a pair of silver-blue cloth shoes from the box. “They’re the latest limited edition this year!”
Immediately, Jiang Yan, Qing Ming, and Shiyi Nuoyi gathered to take a look at the shoes.
Jiang Yan even paused his blood-drinking, remarking, “This year’s freshman welcome package is quite extravagant.”
Qing Ming’s eyes widened, his gaze resembling that of a boy receiving a limited edition Nike shoe.
But… um… these are women’s shoes, right?
I looked at them quizzically and asked, “Are they worth a lot of money?!”
“Of course!” Mao Mao exclaimed with excitement. “They’re women’s shoes when worn by girls and men’s shoes when worn by boys. Furthermore, they can transform into any style you desire, based on your heart’s whims. But remember, there’s only one pair! It’s a treasure!”
A brilliant idea struck me suddenly. “Treasure! Then I’ll sell them and exchange them for money!” No wonder Qing Ming was so stunned; it turns out these shoes had the ability to transform.
“Xiao Lanjie!” Mao Mao almost went crazy calling out to me. “Cloud-Treading Shoes not only have the power to transform, but ‘treading clouds’ means you can actually walk on clouds. You don’t have to worry about being left behind in the immortal realm anymore! As long as you don’t take off these shoes, you won’t die even if you fall!”
“Really!” I quickly changed my shoes. It’s too risky to study here without them!
Qing Ming looked at me changing shoes, his eyes widening. He reached out his hands to hold mine, with a pained expression on his face. His voice choked as he said, “Be gentle.”
Mao Mao also crouched down with a twisted expression. She said, “Xiao Lanjie… Can you wash your feet before changing…”
After putting them on, I tiptoed and said, “Hey, they fit perfectly.”
Mao Mao hung her head in pain. “It’s useless… Once these shoes are worn and claim an owner, no one else can wear them… I really want to try them on…”
I turned back and looked at the box again, raising an eyebrow in confusion. I picked up the box and shook it. “Hmm… This doesn’t make sense… In games, newbie gift packages always have money, right? Why is there no money here…”
“Xiao Lanjie, you… you’re fine now…” Mao Mao stood up and glared at me as if I were her enemy. “You already have the Cloud-Treading Shoes, alright!”
Just as she protested, a sound of “ching” suddenly came from my phone, like the sound of coins dropping. My eyes, trained by sensitivity, immediately looked at the Shenji, and there was indeed a video of a money bag on the screen.
Everyone held their breath. I picked up my phone, and the voice of Guo Degang came through, “Congratulations, girl, your video has the highest number of views, earning you 5,000 Immortal Coins. They’re all mine now.”
“Oh~~~~~~~” Mao Mao cheered.
Jiang Yan, Qing Ming, and Si Yino high-fived and celebrated.
I also breathed a sigh of relief. Although Mao Mao and the others told me that 5,000 Immortal Coins were nothing when it came to buying equipment in the immortal realm, it could still support me for a long time without considering equipment purchases.
And other freshmen would also receive different amounts of prize money based on the number of views their videos received. These prizes were generated from everyone’s views, and a certain fee was deducted at the moment of viewing. This process was somewhat similar to the concept of internet traffic in the mortal realm.
At noon, I treated everyone to roast duck!
Poor Jiang Yan could only watch us eat. As a foodie, being able to only watch but not eat was undoubtedly the greatest torture for him.
In the afternoon, I started studying the phone in my room.
The Divine Machine is akin to high-tech gadgets in movies, with user-friendly operation, comprehensive functionality, and an impeccable question-and-answer feature.
“Guo Degang.”
“Here~~ What can I do for you?” Guo Degang’s round face appeared on the transparent screen of my phone.
Lying on the bed, I glanced at the room door, contemplating for a moment before asking, “Why does the immortal realm seem so archaic and place such importance on the distinction between immortals and mortals?”
“Oh! Your question caught me off guard. Should I have my subordinate Yu Qian explain it to you?”
“You brought Yu Qian along too?”
“Haha, just kidding. I left Yu Qian at home to avoid any suspicion.”
“…Why does conversing with Guo Degang feel like performing a crosstalk routine?”
“Crosstalk is fantastic! It satirizes the unsightly and upholds moral righteousness.”
“…I’m at a loss for words.”
Guo Degang’s watermelon-shaped head twisted on the phone as he whispered slyly, as if someone might be eavesdropping, “How can you say it’s archaic? Look, immortals and mortals have different lifespans. If an immortal falls in love with a mortal and elevates the mortal to immortality, wouldn’t that be exploiting connections? Don’t people in the mortal realm detest such nepotistic relationships?”
I pondered for a moment, and it started to make sense. Hearing his explanation, it felt justified for immortals to love mortals and for mortals to remain mortals.
“Do you see? Have you understood now? So, when an immortal falls in love with a mortal and chooses to become mortal themselves, it’s fair for everyone. Besides, it’s not like they won’t return to being immortals. It’s just in this lifetime they have to be mortals. Look, girl, you’re not foolish. You possess a good heart and all the necessary organs. Why would you lack a bit of brain~~~”
I burst into laughter. So I lack a brain even though I have everything else? I’m being “teased” by a phone. How potent is this built-in program that it feels like Guo Degang himself has taken over!
“Then why are the children of gods and demons so eager to get married?” I even started speaking with a Northern accent. I thought that if I failed to learn anything at the Divine and Demon Academy, I could still return to the mortal realm and pursue crosstalk.
“Girl, you should take some ‘medicine.’ I have a bottle of brainless pills here. Would you like to have a couple?” He actually produced a bottle of brainless pills. I gazed at him with droopy eyes, and he chuckled, reclaiming the bottle of “medicine.” “Silly girl, if they don’t get married, they’ll have to be mortals like you.”
“Mortals?” I exclaimed in surprise.
Guo Degang in The Divine Machine nodded, “The rule here is that those who are unmarried must descend to the mortal realm to undergo trials. Do you understand how terrifying these trials can be? Who knows if you’ll be reborn as a cockroach or a beggar? There are no pleasant trials. These offspring of gods and demons have become accustomed to a comfortable life. No one wants to become a mortal and face the trials. However, due to limited interactions across the Six Realms, we established the Divine and Demon Academy to bring everyone together, to foster mutual acquaintance and understanding. Essentially, it serves as a matchmaking platform. Girl, since you were originally a mortal, this rule doesn’t apply to you. There’s no need to be afraid. However, the higher the noble status of the divine races, the more they fear. Do you grasp the concept?”
I nodded, a sudden realization dawning on me, “I understand. Thank you for explaining the rules of the Divine and Demon Academy.”
“Heh, you’re welcome. Moonlight shines brightly before the bed, casting doubts of frost on the ground. When you raise your head, you see the shining moon. If you have any questions, ask Guo, De, Gang. That’s all for today. I’ll treat you to a meal. Whoever comes will have to pay~~~” Guo Degang vanished, leaving behind a pile of astonishment.
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