GD Chapter 9

Originally, it was supposed to be a good day. Although she couldn’t go home, her mother, whom she hadn’t seen in many years, came to the palace. Being able to act, a bit spoiled in front of her mother and say a few childish words was a comfort to her long-held facade of maturity beyond her years.

 

But the family reunion was ruined. A bunch of irrelevant people were present and coupled with that master who couldn’t be dismissed, the day she’d been looking forward to since the start of the year passed in the blink of an eye. She didn’t even get to say ten words to her mother.

The magistrate’s rules need to be more workable. When she started working at the Eastern Palace and the yamen, there were matronly supervisors and ceremonial eunuchs who half-escorted her. Over time, those formalities were done away with, but she focused solely on her duties and never used her position to sneak back home. It wasn’t about being honest. in her position, she had to stay composed. Allowing people to scrutinize the small details was unnecessary and unsightly. However, on the day she was supposed to meet her family, did it turn into such a mess? After all, she was in the palace, not sold to the Huo family.

 

Feeling frustrated, she stood outside the canopy of the side hall, her face pulled long with displeasure. She figured that since she often had to visit the yamen. She could take time to handle personal matters, and no one could stop her.

 

While she was lost in her thoughts outside, the person inside the canopy paced slowly under the dragon and phoenix ceiling. The palace halls were luxuriously decorated, adhering to the rule of “carpeted floors everywhere.” Especially in winter, those exquisitely embroidered rugs were essential in the sleeping quarters and study. The black boots were placed on them, and stomping wouldn’t make much noise. Her mind was elsewhere, and though the crown prince circled the room several times, she didn’t lift her eyes once.

 

The beaded curtain swayed, scattering starlight under the lamps. Her face, visible through the curtain, had an expression as if everyone owed her thousands of taels of silver, no matter which corner of the room one looked from.

The Crown Prince cleared his throat, and she straightened her slightly slumped posture, standing as straight as a ramrod, her eyes still fixed firmly on the ground. He felt stifled and cleared his throat even louder, but it didn’t catch her attention; instead, it brought Dequan over.

 

“Your Highness, is your throat uncomfortable?” Dequan looked up at him. “Shall I fetch the heat-clearing medicine from the Imperial Hospital?”

 

The Crown Prince ignored him, his gaze fixed on the person outside the curtain. Dequan suddenly understood; the master needed something to clear the heat and reduce the fire, but the effective remedy wasn’t the throat lozenges from the Imperial Hospital, but the expertise of the Imperial Observatory — specifically, the Zhen Hexagram.

 

Following the Crown Prince’s line of sight, Dequan thought that Master Su’s outfit today was nice. He had been serving the master the entire time, and the master’s eyes had been glued to her. Although, they had always been close as if with a man, today, the taste finally made sense to him. Dequan, the chief steward of the Lizheng Hall, was born with a talent for recognizing people. He had always felt that Master Su was different from others. The stewards of accounts, sleeping quarters, ceremonies, and gates all resented her, knowing that the eight female officials in charge of these four duties were responsible for the Crown Prince’s private affairs in the Eastern Palace. Starting at sixteen the Crown Prince had to learn “skills,” and those female officials were supposed to be his practice partners. However, their roles had been snatched away, and whenever they had the chance, they would complain about how Master Su overstepped her authority and intercepted their duties. Dequan replied, “A good horse shows its worth through its legs, a capable person through their mouth; whoever has the ability can step up.” As a result, none of those women dared to. In just five years, Master Su had risen from a literary official to Deputy Commander. In the palace, these feeble women would tremble at the mention of the guillotine, let alone report to the Ministry of Military Control.

 

With a knowing smile, Dequan bowed and reported, “Your Highness, it’s almost time for the night curfew. I’ll lead the others to await orders in the side hall and let Master Su attend to your needs.”

The Crown Prince glanced at him without speaking.

 

Silence meant consent. Dequan, feeling as if he had been granted a special pardon, quickly retreated outside the curtain, signaling the attendants with a swift wave, then turned back to Su Xinghe with a smile. “Master Su, the matters inside are left to you. Please take care of them.”

 

Everyone quickly withdrew, leaving Su Xinghe no choice but to step inside.

 

Looking up, she saw the Crown Prince’s face as dark as water. She was the one whose day had been disrupted, yet, he was the one who took the initiative to set the tone.

 

She bowed slightly. “I am here to assist Your Highness in retiring for the night.”

 

The Crown Prince didn’t respond to her, instead saying, “Were you happy to see your family today? It’s been ten years; it wasn’t easy to meet.”

 

If he knew it wasn’t easy, why did he stay from beginning to end? And now he was asking if she was happy. Su Xinghe replied, “Very happy. Thank you for making it possible, Your Highness.”

 

“I know you have thoughts in your mind…” he said lazily, spreading his arms.

 

The wide sleeves of his ceremonial robe unfolded, the clusters of silk brocade patterns on the black satin surface swirling like turbulent waves. Su Xinghe lowered her eyes and respectfully removed the ceremonial robe for him, her expression dutiful and submissive. When the master speculates you have thoughts, even if you don’t, you must come with one. She pondered and said, “I was thinking…”

 

“Thinking what?” he suddenly interrupted, stepping back, his white inner garment contrasting with his angry expression, giving a rather sinister look under the lamp. “Do you dare to have thoughts?”

She opened her mouth but closed it again. She had only intended to report on the latest personnel arrangements of the Defense Department, but his sudden change of expression left her at a loss for words.

 

She wasn’t in a great mood either. Usually, she was patient and didn’t dare argue with him, but his behavior today had been excessive. She hung his ceremonial robe on the clothes rack and, in a sarcastic tone, said, “How could I dare to have any thoughts? Today was the day I reunited with my family. Your Highness graciously allowed me a day off, and I am grateful. But while I was resting, Your Highness took the trouble to come to the Xichi Courtyard. Had I known this, I would have preferred not to meet my family rather than disturb Your Highness.”

 

Her words were tactful and indirect, not directly blaming him for the disruption. She cleverly used terms like “trouble” and “disturbance” to criticize him.

 

The Crown Prince caught the hidden meaning in her words but had nothing to refute. He turned and stepped onto the bed, leaning loosely against the bed frame. In a languid tune, he said, “I just wanted to meet your mother. Was that wrong?”

 

Why should it be right? He wasn’t a real son-in-law! She sighed and said, “My dear master, if you have any orders, you can just send someone to inform me. I will obey without question. My mother is a secluded woman; your presence might frighten her.”

 

Both had their thoughts, Today’s episode, besides being entertaining, had a deeper meaning for him. But even after careful consideration, it didn’t seem particularly calculated. Perhaps he had grown curious after seeing her often in gender-neutral official attire and wanted to see her in a feminine dress with makeup. As he had imagined, she looked very dignified and beautiful. Especially when she lowered her head modestly behind the flower-patterned window, it embodied the beauty of spring.

However, he couldn’t bring himself to compliment her. The Crown Prince remained silent before looking up and saying, “Come over here and talk.”

 

Here we go again, she thought, endlessly pulling her hair and smoothing it down. She was beginning to suspect he had some disorder; he’d been playing this game for over ten years, always finding it new and never tiring of it.

 

She didn’t move, and said with her head lowered, “I haven’t washed my hair today.”

 

He glared at her, “I ought to punish you for insubordination.”

 

With no other choice, she shuffled over and stopped at the foot of the bed.

 

The wide footrest made of zitan wood was spacious. The Crown Prince sat at the edge of the bed, making it difficult to reach her. The two stared at each other from a distance, neither willing to move, stubbornly holding their ground.

 

The Crown Prince’s silent gaze carried a warning, suspecting he had indulged her too much, allowing her boldness to grow. Su Xinghe, having bent to his will for over a decade, knew how strong she was, she had to hide it before him.

 

Unable to resist, she bent down, removed her shoes, and stepped onto the footrest. Just as she was about to kneel, he moved aside, indicating her to get on the bed.

 

This surprised her. For the past few years, the most she had done was sit by his legs, letting him pat her like a pet. Now he wanted her on the bed? She glanced at the apricot-yellow bedspread, feeling hesitant. “I am unworthy and incapable; I dare not lie on Your Highness’s bed.”

 

Leaning against the embroidered cushion, the Crown Prince’s face showed a mocking smile. “I remember you once said that even if a pretense became real, she wouldn’t blink an eye. What, already planning to go back on your word?”

If she had never thought this day would come, it would be self-deception. In the depths of the palace, countless sordid events happened every day. Whether it was the emperor or the crown prince, favoring women was not considered a sin; in fact, those who favored had to consider themselves honored. Now it was her turn. Having borne the reputation for those years, it was about to become a reality. Nervous as she was, she slowly calmed down. In truth, it wasn’t a big deal. She wasn’t a narrow-minded woman; her age had come, and such things were to be expected. Besides, the crown prince was still a virgin, clean and pure, she wouldn’t be losing out.

 

Comforting herself this way, she untied her sash and sat on the edge of the bed. He hadn’t covered himself with a quilt, so unlike the concubines who had to crawl up from the foot of the bed, there was no need to follow such formality. She couldn’t bring herself to put on a charming smile or speak in a Coquettish voice, so she lay down in a spread-eagle position, resigned to whatever was to come.

The Crown Prince’s emotions were complicated as he looked at the woman beside him. She had an expression of self-sacrifice, probably thinking he was to take her.

 

Would he or wouldn’t he? It wasn’t that he wouldn’t; the time hadn’t come yet. He frowned and said, “Why do you look like a dead fish?”

 

She wasn’t one to blush easily. She stared straight at him, “Is there a specific way I’m supposed to pose?”

 

The way she was acting easily led his thoughts astray. The Crown Prince, somewhat disdainfully, tugged at her, “Who told you to lie down?”

 

Su Xinghe sat up quickly, thinking, What kind of game is this? Getting on the bed but not doing anything—was he just here for a chat?

 

The Crown Prince moved further in, leaning against the mother-of-pearl inlaid cabinet at the head of the bed. As he diverted his gaze, he rolled his eyes at her, “You’ve been running since you were young.”

 

Feeling embarrassed and at a loss, Su  Xinghe grew more frustrated when he said that. She sullenly responded with a “yes” while sitting cross-legged.

 

“I met your mother with no other intentions. Just as I said, I wanted to reassure her. Isn’t that what mothers do? They worry day and night, afraid their children might suffer or be bullied. You’ve been in my palace for ten years. During these ten years, some unsavory rumors have spread. We know we’re innocent, but outsiders might not believe it. since things are like this, I might as well gesture to put your mother at ease.” His eyes flicked over her face, which looked dazed and unlike her usual clever self, was foolish. This showed he had hit a nerve. The Crown Prince casually pulled a quilt over and tossed it to her, “Are you cold? Your face looks pale as a ghost.”

Su Xinghe was puzzled. “What is ‘Guai Jian’?”

 

The Crown Prince with an air of profundity, said, “It’s a term for a small carp. There’s a teacher from Tianjin in the imperial study, and he often uses his hometown dialect. This is a word I recently learned.”

 

Using what he had learned was good, but saying her face looked like the offspring of a carp had nothing to do with being cold. She pondered for a moment. “Is ‘Guai Jian’ used like that?”

 

The Crown Prince, going to great lengths to cover up his misuse of the dialect, explained, “Do you know the story of ‘lying on ice to get a carp’? Carps in ice water aren’t cold? They’re freezing, so saying you look like ‘Guai Jian’ isn’t wrong.”

 

Su Xinghe suddenly felt like all her years of studying had been in vain. So the story of ‘lying on ice to get a carp’ had that meaning. Indeed, the Crown Prince could make up nonsense and make it sound plausible.

 

She didn’t argue further, just hugged the quilt and looked at him.

 

Outside, it was bitterly cold, with snowflakes already turning into a heavy snowfall, covering everything. The palace lanterns hung high, and the red charcoal in the brazier burned brightly. Everyone had retreated from the hall, leaving just the two of them. The feeling from their childhood was faintly returning. Su Xinghe remembered being very restrained when she first arrived at the Eastern Palace, pondering every step she took. The Crown Prince, on the other hand, was not pretentious; they were innocent playmates, interacting freely when no one else was around. Later, as they grew up, they learned the rules, the positions, and the unbridgeable gap between master and servant, widening the distance between them.

 

Sometimes, she thought back, there was a faint sense of melancholy. After all these years, they each had their calculations under their roles. Now, sitting on the bed and talking, it might lack decorum, but their hearts were pure.

The Crown Prince said, “You don’t want your mother to misunderstand, so are you planning to find a good family to marry into the future?”

 

Su Xinghe shook her head. “Didn’t you say that you’d find me a good match in the future?”

 

He rested a hand on his knee and murmured, “A good match is possible, but I’m afraid with your reputation damaged, no one will dare to want you.”

 

Hearing this, she just stared blankly. She had already known his intentions, but hearing him say it out loud bluntly was truly disheartening.

 

He seemed to realize this and waved his hand, “Anyway, there’s no one in the court worthy of you… Do you miss home? Do you want to go back and take a look?”

 

Su Xinghe, wary of a trap, responded indifferently, “No.”

 

He seemed disappointed, muttering, “I was thinking that since tonight’s the first snowfall, and there’s no class in the imperial study tomorrow, I could take you back for a visit. Since, you don’t want to, forget it. It’s late, and it’s too cold outside. Don’t return to the court ladies’ quarters; sleep here.” As he said this, he got out of bed barefoot, his tone light and casual, “Take off your robe, I’ll blow out the candles.”