Xu Zhi came downstairs when Xu Yang’s piano performance was coming to an end, and then everyone applauded when he stood up and bowed.
The guests who came were all upper-class people who had seen many top pianist concerts, but they still applauded and praised Xu Yang, who was only nine years old, as the next piano master.
Xu Zhi felt extremely uncomfortable, so he walked to Liang Yaqing and told her that he wanted to go back early.
Liang Yaqing didn’t care how long Xu Zhi stayed; what she cared about was whether Xu Zhi came or not. What’s more, it was almost nine o’clock in the evening, and Xu Zhi left not too early.
Xu Zhi got the affirmative answer, waved to Xu Yang from a distance, and went out without looking back.
When he walked to the door, he heard Liang Yaqing explaining for him, “He is too busy at work.”
No one asked Xu Zhi why he didn’t work for his family’s company. Everyone just agreed, “It’s good for young people to work hard.”
The driver had been waiting for Xu Zhi outside the door. When he saw Xu Zhi coming, he opened the door for Xu Zhi and sent Xu Zhi back without saying a word.
Xu Zhi took out his cell phone and found that Zhou Mu had sent him a message an hour ago, asking him when he would come home and if he would pick him up.
Xu Zhi raised the corner of his mouth and mischievously replied to Zhou Mu, “Not going back today.”
Zhou Mu was probably holding his phone at the moment, and he directly called Xu Zhi.
“What’s up?” Xu Zhi reached out and closed the car window, staring at the receding streetlights and shadows, feeling that tonight didn’t seem so uncomfortable.
“Aren’t you coming back?” Zhou Mu asked.
Xu Zhi turned down the phone volume and signaled the driver to keep quiet, “That’s right.”
Zhou Mu was silent for a few seconds and asked Xu Zhi, “Can I pick you up?”
Zhou Mu’s words made Xu Zhi feel like he was some kind of treasure that would be stolen if left outside. One moment he wanted to urge him to go home, and the next moment he couldn’t wait to pick him up.
Xu Zhi faked a cough and said, “I really won’t go back.”
“Then when will you come back tomorrow? I’ll pick you up,” Zhou Mu said on the phone.
Xu Zhi felt that the warmth from Zhou Mu’s words was transmitted to his ears through the receiver, so he took the phone a little further away and said, “No, let’s talk about it later.”
Then he hung up the phone very arrogantly.
After hanging up the phone, Zhou Mu sent another text message, telling him to go to bed early and asking him to pick up the phone when he went back tomorrow morning.
Xu Zhi read the text message several times but didn’t reply.
Then, regardless of the current traffic conditions, he urged the driver to drive faster.
Because of Zhou Mu’s phone call, he felt his heart becoming lighter, like willow seeds lifted by the wind, floating up and down but with a clear direction, all heading towards Zhou Mu.
When Xu Zhi arrived at the residential community, it was already past 11 o’clock at night. He wore a long-sleeved shirt today. Although the fabric was fine, it was uncomfortably hot in the summer.
He left home early in the morning and hadn’t seen Zhou Mu for more than 10 hours. Xu Zhi thought that if Zhou Mu couldn’t do without him, he would definitely be unhappy at home.
The moonlight is not bright tonight, and the buildings in the residential community are relatively high, giving off a somewhat ominous vibe.
Xu Zhi glanced briefly, feeling suddenly panicked, so he lowered his head and did not dare to look again.
He raised his hand, pulled on his tie, and walked quickly towards the building where he lived.
There are not many lights on in the residential community. The only remaining lights come from some small shops on the first floor and a few sparse user lights high up.
When he walked to the next building, Xu Zhi found that the porridge shop he often bought was still open.
Xu Zhi frowned. He clearly remembered that the porridge shop closed very early.
But because Zhou Mu was still waiting at home, even though he cared a little, Xu Zhi did not seek confirmation. He pushed aside this question and hurried away with quick steps.
After swiping the access card to open the door, Xu Zhi walked towards the elevator. The building had two elevators, one under maintenance at night and the other on the 15th floor.
Xu Zhi lived on the 18th floor. After pressing the up button, he had to wait for a while before the elevator arrived.
The elevator must have been cleaned, and there was a very faint smell of disinfectant. Xu Zhi rarely went out at this time and usually got up very late in the morning, so he had never smelled this scent.
The unfamiliar smell made Xu Zhi a little uneasy. Xu Zhi took out his cell phone and took a look. Zhou Mu didn’t send him any more messages.
The elevator quickly reached the 18th floor. Xu Zhi walked out and stood at the door of his residence. He did not enter his fingerprint immediately but knocked on the door and waited for Zhou Mu to open it.
Xu Zhi thought that if Zhou Mu wanted him to come back so much, he would definitely pounce on him when he saw him.
If Zhou Mu couldn’t help it and wanted to kiss him at the door, he wouldn’t refuse.
After knocking on the door, Xu Zhi waited for a few seconds.
The door didn’t open.
Xu Zhi licked his lower lip unconsciously, raised his hand, and knocked again.
The force used the second time was stronger than the first time. If Zhou Mu was taking a shower or sleeping, he would still be able to hear it.
The second time, the door didn’t open either.
Xu Zhi took a few deep breaths to reassure himself that Zhou Mu really didn’t hear him, and then reached out to input his fingerprint.
When he raised his hand, Xu Zhi found that his hand was shaking a little.
“It’s okay, don’t be afraid,” Xu Zhi whispered to himself in a low voice, “Such symptoms may indeed occur when you are overly anxious.”
The door lock clicked, and Xu Zhi pushed the door open.
The light in the entrance hall was still on, but the light in the living room was not on.
Xu Zhi pinched his fingers and walked lightly to the living room without changing his shoes.
He stood in the center of the living room and looked around, then walked to the door of the bedroom.
The bedroom door was closed. Xu Zhi slowly pressed down the handle and opened the door, still remaining dark.
Xu Zhi turned on the light and shouted in a loud voice, “Zhou Mu.”
Xu Zhi’s words floated empty and spread throughout the room, but he received no reply.
Xu Zhi was sure that there was no one at home.
The anxiety, which had been inexplicably present since a moment ago, found an outlet and overwhelmed Xu Zhi, making him momentarily deafened by the suffocation.
Xu Zhi felt that the surroundings were too quiet. He stood there blankly. The only thought in his mind was that Zhou Mu disappeared out of thin air just as he appeared out of thin air.
Xu Zhi hurriedly took out his cell phone and prepared to make a call to Zhou Mu, but before he was about to dial out, he heard something.
“Can the patient be aware that people around him have noticed abnormal behavior?”
Wen Shuyao’s words suddenly rang in his ears.
Xu Zhi subconsciously picked up the second sentence.
His voice was very soft, and he murmured, “If you recognize that others see this abnormality, do you think it is abnormal too?”
When did he say this?
Xu Zhi can’t recall, but this sentence keeps echoing in his mind. He feels like he’s sealed off by a cover with a diameter of less than a meter, and in the already insufficient air, this sentence pervades.
Over and over again, very persistently insisting on Xu Zhi remembering it.
Xu Zhi couldn’t remember it, but a terrifying and cruel thought appeared at an inappropriate time.
His hands and feet were stiff, and he ran out the door quickly and staggeringly. There was something he thought he needed to confirm.
No one had used the elevator, and it was still on the 18th floor. Xu Zhi pressed the down button and ran into the elevator unsteadily.
The red numbers representing the floors on the elevator display were beating regularly, and the muscles in Xu Zhi’s hand holding the phone were bulging because of too much force.
Almost as soon as the elevator reached the first floor, Xu Zhi rushed out in one stride.
The porridge shop is about to close. The light sign at the door is off, but the lights are still on inside the store. The boss is bending to sweep the floor with his back to the door.
Xu Zhi walked to the door, took two deep breaths, and walked in.
When the boss heard the noise, he straightened up and turned to the door. He said apologetically, “I’m sorry, it’s closed.”
The look he gave Xu Zhi showed nothing but an apology.
There was no sense of familiarity that Xu Zhi expected to see. The boss looked at him like a stranger.
The thread pulling on Xu Zhi’s heart tightened again. He asked the boss in a dry voice, “You don’t know me?”
The boss put the broom handle to the table, turned around, and stared at Xu Zhi for a few seconds, then smiled honestly, “I can’t remember people accurately, but you probably don’t come here often.”
Xu Zhi’s Adam’s apple moved, and he opened his mouth twice before making a sound, “I bought porridge here every day until the 11th of this month.”
“There is also a steamed dumpling,” Xu Zhi added.
“Then you remember wrongly,” the boss laughed twice in a loud voice and continued to pick up the broom to sweep the floor, “Steaming dumplings is troublesome, and the store hasn’t sold them in a long time.”
The boss’s voice was loud, and his words were clear. Xu Zhi heard what he said clearly the first time, but he still asked the boss, “What did you say?”
“The steamed dumplings have not been sold for more than two months,” the boss explained patiently, “My wife gave birth to a baby, and I couldn’t make it myself.”
Xu Zhi froze in place. It wasn’t until his boss asked what happened that he said, “I must have remembered it wrong.”
Then he ran away.
It’s almost 12 o’clock now. Xu Zhi has lived in this residential community for a long time. Today, he just found out that the lights in the residential community are not always on throughout the night.
He plunged into the thick night, moving slowly, like a puppy that had been kicked out of the house.
Xu Zhi clearly remembered that according to the Doc1 record on his computer, the day Zhou Mu came was July 11th.
He picked up his phone and looked at the date. This month was indeed July. On the 10th, he did eat porridge and steamed dumplings. So, where did it all go wrong?
Xu Zhi thought, without any hope, what if he misremembered the date of the document?
Xu Zhi returned home soon, but there was still no one at home. He ran to the bedroom, turned on the laptop, and opened Doc1 with trembling hands.
Doc1: On July 11, Zhou Mu made Xu Zhi’s heart beat faster.
—“Steamed dumplings haven’t been sold for more than two months.”
Xu Zhi barely managed to calm down, opened the novel website he signed with, and searched for his pen name, but the search results were empty.
“Because I haven’t posted anything yet,” Xu Zhi’s Adam’s apple moved, and he comforted himself with a low and aggrieved voice, but he quickly opened the mailbox with his hand.
At that time, the website signing contract was sent to Xu Zhi’s mailbox. Xu Zhi printed it out, signed it, and sent it back, but the soft copy must still be in the mailbox.
Xu Zhi’s mailbox status was always online. He hesitated before opening his inbox.
There was no air conditioning in the room, so all sounds were amplified. Xu Zhi first heard the sound of the computer exhaust fan dissipating heat, and then very suddenly, he heard Wen Shuyao’s voice.
“If you recognize that others see this abnormality, do you think it is abnormal too?”
Xu Zhi no longer hesitated, reached out, and opened the inbox.
—
Xu Zhi sat behind the desk in a daze, looking numbly at the mailbox without any mail, and finally thought about what Wen Shuyao said.
“In “Oxford Psychiatry,” the fourth aspect of self-awareness assessment is whether the individual, if attributing the issues to their mental state, believes that treatment is necessary.”
“These four aspects play a great role in the self-evaluation of patients with paranoid psychosis.”
Xu Zhi slid down to the ground all of a sudden, thoughtlessly contemplating with no particular emotion, realizing that no one else was at fault from the beginning to the end. In the end, the only one who went mad was him alone.
The phone interface was still on the page with Zhou Mu’s contact information. Xu Zhi stared at it for two seconds and clicked to exit.
The account on the novel website is fake.
The porridge shop owner didn’t know him. The shrimp and steamed dumplings were fake.
The self-righteous idea that there is no one to do the housework, so he always gets takeout to eat, is false.
The bedroom door and windows were tightly closed, and the air was completely stagnant, enveloping Xu Zhi in a sticky and heavy atmosphere.
It feels a bit like drowning.
Xu Zhi was the man who unfortunately drowned. He desperately and eagerly searched for someone in the deep and dark seabed but found nothing.
Zhou Mu is also not real.
The author has something to say: More updates today.
