HD Chapter 22

The bedroom light was on, but Xu Zhi felt that the place where he was sitting was somewhat dark, and no light could shine in. In the darkness, he vaguely remembered something that happened a long time ago.

It was also during the summer vacation after his college entrance examination, when he had not yet moved out of his parents’ house.

That summer was very long and very hot. Xu Zhi’s birthday was at the end of August in the hot weather.

That year, he accompanied his parents to attend a birthday party for a business partner. The auntie’s birthday was not far from his, and he got a cupcake at the party.

The cake was small, full of cream, and had only one big blueberry on top.

Xu Zhi didn’t eat it at that time. He put the cake in the refrigerator, but on his birthday, he found that the cake was missing.

The cleaning lady told him that the cake had become stale for a few days, so she got rid of it.

Xu Zhi was so angry that Xu Yang was so frightened that he kept crying. Liang Yaqing had to come to understand the situation.

Since he was 16 years old, his parents have never celebrated his birthday with much fanfare. Therefore, when Liang Yaqing learned that today was his birthday, she was embarrassed and stopped blaming him.

Xu Zhi didn’t want to admit that he really wanted to hear those words of happy birthday, but he still couldn’t control his emotions.

He walked out angrily and asked the driver to take him to a cake shop in the city, where he bought himself a small corner of blueberry cake.

The cake looks beautiful, but it tastes terrible.

Xu Zhi sat on a park bench under the scorching sun, watching it turn into an ugly and stomach-churning puddle in the box.

When the blueberries slid down the cream, Xu Zhi subconsciously raised his hand to catch it, and then, as expected, his hands were wet.

A few days after his birthday, Xu Zhi received a gift from Liang Yaqing, the key to a residence.

He is 26 years old this year and still lives in the same residence. Over these years, instead of becoming more successful, he feels like he hasn’t progressed much.

“Xu Zhi, you’re really useless,” he muttered to himself with his head down, then reached for his phone and called Wen Shuyao.

Before this, Xu Zhi had never been hospitalized for treatment.

Even though his parents were the richest people in the city and were able to find him good hospitals and doctors, having a son who was mentally ill and a son who was sent to a mental hospital always sounded different.

Xu Zhi himself has never considered the idea of being hospitalized for treatment. In this regard, he may care more about his reputation than his parents.

Wen Shuyao must have gone to bed. Xu Zhi called, but it didn’t go through.

Xu Zhi put down his phone and prepared to call again in a few minutes.

At this moment, the sound of the password lock being opened suddenly came from the entrance.

Xu Zhi clutched the phone tightly and stared at the door without blinking.

The footsteps were getting closer and closer. Xu Zhi’s Adam’s apple moved, and he licked his lips unconsciously.

The first thing that caught his eye was a pair of light gray house slippers.

The visitor walked very quickly, and soon he arrived in front of Xu Zhi.

Xu Zhi looked up along his long legs, then turned his head expressionlessly.

“Xu Zhi.” Zhou Mu squatted down and slowly called Xu Zhi’s name.

Xu Zhi was unmoved. From the corner of his eye, he saw Zhou Mu approaching him, so he closed his eyes subconsciously.

Zhou Mu also sat on the ground, stretched out his arms to hug Xu Zhi, pulled him into his arms, and gently tapped his lips on his ear.

“Xu Zhi,” Zhou Mu said, “I’m sorry; I scared you, didn’t I?”

His voice was very gentle. Xu Zhi closed his eyes and felt the slight vibration of Zhou Mu’s chest when he spoke, as well as the hot breath against his ear.

Very real, he thought.

Zhou Mu held Xu Zhi’s shoulders, slowly distanced himself from him, and called him again, “Xu Zhi.”

Xu Zhi hesitated for a few seconds, then opened his eyes and looked at Zhou Mu, realizing that perhaps the most desperate moment in his life might be now.

Because he had to admit that he was a hopeless mental patient.

Even though he realized that Zhou Mu did not exist, he still fell into visual and auditory hallucinations, from which he could not escape. The person who only existed in his imagination was holding him and calling his name.

But he couldn’t push it away.

“What’s wrong?” Zhou Mu called him softly. As he spoke, he pressed his hand on Xu Zhi’s shoulder.

Xu Zhi turned his head and looked at the hand with distinct joints, and his heart suddenly felt sour.

He had never hated his condition so much.

He is undoubtedly a mental patient, yes, but why give him a Zhou Mu, only to take him away again.

He took Zhou Mu for a physical examination, indulged him in a buy one get one free condom at the supermarket, shared moist and lingering kisses by the kitchen sink, and made love uninhibitedly on the large bed in the bedroom.

Xu Zhi had never been particularly needed by anyone, but Zhou Mu told him, “Xu Zhi, you can do anything to me.”

“Xu Zhi, I like you very much.”

“Xu Zhi, I can’t live without you.”

Xu Zhi raised his eyes slightly and looked at Zhou Mu. From his slightly frowning brows, he could see the thin lips that opened and closed. Perhaps due to dehydration, there were less severe lines on Zhou Mu’s lips.

He was still wearing the solid-color short-sleeved shirt that he had chosen for him. Xu Zhi thought that maybe this expenditure was also fake.

Maybe he has never been out these days. Wen Shuyao has never seen Zhou Mu; the porridge shop owner has never seen Zhou Mu; and the supermarket shopping guide has never seen Zhou Mu. Maybe they have never seen Xu Zhi these past few days.

Xu Zhi stared at Zhou Mu for a few seconds, and his vision became blurry.

Zhou Mu frantically wiped his tears with one hand and kept gently squeezing Xu Zhi’s fingers with the other hand. He asked Xu Zhi what was wrong.

Xu Zhi couldn’t answer.

He ignored Zhou Mu’s words and took out his phone to call Wen Shuyao.

Wen Shuyao answered quickly this time, but his voice was still very sleepy, “Xiao Zhi, what’s wrong?”

“Shuyao.” Xu Zhi’s vision was still blurry. He couldn’t see Zhou Mu’s expression clearly, but he could feel Zhou Mu’s warm fingers rubbing his face.

“Xiao Zhi,” Wen Shuyao heard that he was in a bad mood, “What’s wrong?”

“Didn’t you say,” Xu Zhi sniffed and let out a long breath, “your senior brother is the director of a mental hospital?”

Xu Zhi felt that Zhou Mu’s hand, which was wiping his tears, obviously paused.

“Where are you?” Wen Shuyao sounded like he was already up. He said quickly, “I’m going to find you.”

“At home,” Xu Zhi replied, gently squeezing the hand that Zhou Mu had pulled.

“I’ll be there soon,” Wen Shuyao heard the sound of a car unlocking, “just wait for me at home.”

“I must be hallucinating,” Xu Zhi said, effortlessly squeezing his fingers between Zhou Mu’s fingers and interlocking them.

“Xu Zhi,” Zhou Mu suddenly spoke. He lifted Xu Zhi’s chin and told him, “It’s not an illusion; I’m right here.”

Xu Zhi was stunned for a moment and paused for a moment while squeezing Zhou Mu’s hand. Then he pretended not to hear and continued to report his condition to Wen Shuyao, “There are also auditory hallucinations.”

“Xiao Zhi,” Wen Shuyao’s tone became serious, “What did you see?”

“It’s nothing,” Xu Zhi said, and then looked at Zhou Mu sadly and curiously.

Zhou Mu looked at him with a very sad look, which made Xu Zhi have the mistaken belief that all this was true.

“Is Zhou Mu at home?” Wen Shuyao told him in a tone that left no doubt, and then shouted loudly, “Give Zhou Mu the phone now.”

Xu Zhi was stunned for a moment when he was shouted at. When he realized what Wen Shuyao had said, Zhou Mu had already taken the phone away.

“Yeah, I got it.” After Zhou Mu took the call, he hung up after just one sentence and then looked at Xu Zhi intently.

Xu Zhi’s chest began to rise and fall rapidly; his whole body was shaking, and then he pushed Zhou Mu aside and stood up.

“Xu Zhi!” Zhou Mu quickly followed. He put Xu Zhi’s hands together and called him, “Look at me!”

Xu Zhi burst into tears, and it only took a few seconds to go from choking to crying.

His worldview fell apart in an instant, like the butter cake that melted under the scorching sun that year—terrible and unrecognizable.

Everything he thought was true was false, and what he thought was false became true.

Xu Zhi thought, then who is he?

Does that hopeless mental patient named Xu Zhi really exist?

 

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The author has something to say: This chapter refers to some information. If delusions, anxiety, and other disorders remain untreated, they may lead to depersonalization, which can manifest as the feeling that all or part of the self seems unreal, distant, or false.

I understand that the symptoms described for paranoia and schizophrenia in the story are fictional and not representative of actual medical conditions. It’s important for readers to recognize that the portrayal in the story is for creative purposes and should not be taken as accurate information about mental health disorders. Additionally, I appreciate your clarification that the character’s condition is not as severe and that the story includes elements of romance.