Except for the extremely cold winter that year, the temperature in the city basically did not change much, and the weather forecast was accurate most of the time.
Zhou Mu has a better sense of self-positioning than the weather forecast, because every time there is a situation where Xu Zhi doesn’t recognize him, his self-introduction is always, “I am Zhou Mu.”
He introduced himself to Xu Zhi six times, and on the seventh time, he got the script of the male protagonist of a novel.
Ji Peiqing listened to Zhou Mu carefully, recalling the scene when Xu Zhi relapsed for the first time, and couldn’t help but think of something he heard from Wen Shuyao.
Listening to Zhou Mu meticulously recount the scene of Xu Zhi’s first relapse, Ji Peiqing couldn’t help but think of something he had heard from Wen Shuyao.
At that time, Wen Shuyao had just returned to China and became his mentor’s graduate student.
Wen Shuyao had casually mentioned the neighbor who had delusional disorder.
“Perhaps to most people, he appears to be a typical case,” Wen Shuyao said, “but some people feel that he should be this way.”
At that time, he was having special thoughts about Wen Shuyao, so he was not interested in other people.
Upon careful consideration, the person who said those words should be Zhou Mu.
Zhou Mu did not stay in the hospital for long. He booked a room in a nearby hotel and worked overtime every day after returning from the hospital.
At the beginning of this year, the company opened its first “Technology Travel” themed hotel in another city.
The hotel has been well received since its opening. The company has successfully opened up overseas markets with this hotel. Zhou Mu has been busy from the beginning of the year until now.
At the beginning of this month, the company’s second out-of-town hotel opened. At that time, Xu Zhi was still working for a software company and skipped work for a week to accompany Zhou Mu to cut the ribbon.
The hotel was built by the seaside, and Zhou Mu arranged the room with the best view and highest amenities for Xu Zhi, complete with a small wooden sign that read “Exclusive for Xu Zhi.”
The room has a large circular balcony, and you can hear the sound of the waves when you open the bedroom window.
Xu Zhi bought a dozen conchs at one time and stacked them neatly on the bedside.
When the two were having sex, Xu Zhi shouted Zhou Mu’s name while sweating profusely, then bit Zhou Mu’s ear playfully and said to Zhou Mu, “Senior, I love you so much.”
On the 15th day of Xu Zhi’s hospitalization, Ji Peiqing finally relented, and family members were allowed to visit.
The hospital has a very regular work and rest schedule. Family members are only allowed to visit after the doctors and nurses have finished checking the room at nine in the morning.
In the morning, Ji Peiqing came to check the room in person and told Xu Zhi, “You can see visitors today.”
For more than ten days, Xu Zhi had almost asked every day if Zhou Mu had come today, but now he hesitated to ask.
His illness had recurred seven times in the past eight years, and Zhou Mu had been with him since he was twenty. Zhou Mu was now twenty-seven years old.
Many people cannot imagine and cannot bear such a ridiculous thing that their lover does not recognize them when they wake up.
“Is anyone here to see me?” Xu Zhi asked softly, sitting on the bed wearing a loose hospital gown, lowering his head and not looking at Ji Peiqing.
He was like a kitten that was mercilessly thrown out of the house because he scratched his owner. He was nesting in a corner of the hospital bed, isolated and lonely, looking down at the pair of white slippers on his feet that were standard in the hospital.
“He’s already here.” Ji Peiqing reached out and patted his shoulder, “Zhou Mu is here to see you.”
“Already here,” Xu Zhi said softly, then asked Ji Peiqing for a pair of sneakers and followed him to the family’s office.
Zhou Mu came with Wen Shuyao. After Wen Shuyao arrived, he went directly to Ji Peiqing’s office, and he sat on the chair and waited.
“Zhou Mu.”
A small voice came from behind. Zhou Mu was stunned and quickly stood up and turned around.
Xu Zhi raised his head slightly and looked at him, smiling at him, “You…”
But he didn’t know what he actually wanted to say. He wanted to ask if Zhou Mu missed him, if Zhou Mu wanted to hug him, and if Zhou Mu still liked him, but not a single word came out.
He only said the word “you” and his vision blurred.
Zhou Mu walked around the back of the chair, reached out to hold him in his arms, lowered his head slightly, and said to his ear, “Doctor Ji is very bad. I come here every day, but won’t allow me to see you.”
Xu Zhi cried even harder. He sobbed and reasoned with Zhou Mu, “During the closed treatment period, you are not allowed to see your family members.”
He cried so much that he split a sentence into several parts.
Zhou Mu patted him on the back a few times to help him calm down, “Yeah, but I miss you so much.”
Zhou Mu asked him, “Do you miss me?”
Xu Zhi nodded and hummed with a heavy nasal voice.
“Shuyao is here too.” Zhou Mu let go of him, stretched out his hand to wipe his tears, and asked him, “Do you want to go see him?”
“No,” Xu Zhi shook his head, “He came to see Doctor Ji.”
Zhou Mu also laughed, and without asking any more questions, asked Xu Zhi, “Would you like to go out for a walk?”
Xu Zhi nodded and remembered that Zhou Mu said that he came to the hospital every day, so he asked him, “You have been away for so long; is there no problem with your work?”
“No problems,” Zhou Mu said, completely ignoring the recent situation of staying up late at night and working overtime to handle work.
Xu Zhi opened his mouth to ask something else, but Zhou Mu suddenly laughed. He reached out and pinched Xu Zhi’s face, teasing him, “You’re a little fatter.”
Xu Zhi raised his hand, reached out and hooked Zhou Mu’s finger, and said reassuringly, “The food here is not bad.”
Zhou Mu nodded, holding his hand, and walked into the courtyard. As they walked, he said, “I can see it. Your face has filled out a bit.”
Xu Zhi looked at him with unblinking eyes, “Maybe this is really a place to feed pigs.”
Before Zhou Mu could speak, Xu Zhi added, “Did you know? The patient living next to me sees everyone as small animals. I wonder if there are pigs among them.”
Zhou Mu was stunned, unable to laugh at all.
Xu Zhi pursed his lips and continued to follow Zhou Mu around the yard.
Now is the time for free activities. Some patients with mild symptoms and non-aggressive symptoms are allowed to move alone.
The hospital’s courtyard was very large, and Xu Zhi was afraid of the sun, so he pulled Zhou Mu and walked under the shadow of the courtyard wall.
Zhou Mu pulled Xu Zhi along and, without any hesitation, said, “You went too far this time.”
Xu Zhi nodded obediently and couldn’t help but quietly defend himself, “It’s just the nature of this illness.”
“Then why did you only forget me?” Zhou Mu squeezed Xu Zhi’s hand with a bit of force, expressing some dissatisfaction.
Xu Zhi always forgets about Zhou Mu every time he relapses. Even Wen Shuyao can’t explain clearly.
At that time, Wen Shuyao even called his mentor, who was far away abroad. The old man said very openly, “Every patient has his own world.”
Every mental patient has his own little world. Their perspective on problems and their understanding of the world may be something that many people will never be able to imagine and understand.
Therefore, every mentally ill person experiences loneliness where others cannot participate.
“I can’t help it.” Xu Zhi took Zhou Mu’s hand and shook it, coaxing Zhou Mu in a low voice, “I promise I won’t do it next time.”
After he said these words, the two of them fell silent at the same time.
Xu Zhi suddenly pointed at a young girl squatting in the corner and said, “This is Xiao Cheng, who lives on the third floor. I heard from Brother Pei that she has severe cognitive dysfunction.”
Zhou Mu looked in the direction of Xu Zhi’s hand and indeed saw a girl wearing a large hospital gown. The girl was very young and looked to be no more than twenty years old. She was squatting under the courtyard wall and talking repeatedly.
Xu Zhi said, “It is said that she treats everything as a conversational partner. Recently, a Chinese sapling grew in the corner, and she has been guarding it for several days.”
“But she is actually considered to be in relatively good condition in the hospital,” Xu Zhi said. “On the same floor as me, there’s a big brother living there with severe dissociative identity disorder. His second personality is an imaginary homicidal maniac who often shouts about killing. Therefore, even during activity time, he can’t be allowed to move on his own.”
“There is another patient on the fifth floor. Everyone said…”
“Xu Zhi.” Zhou Mu interrupted Xu Zhi and asked him, “Do you want to be discharged from the hospital?”
Xu Zhi didn’t answer him immediately. He led Zhou Mu to the foot of a big tree, stretched out his hand, and scratched at the rough trunk. He choked up when he spoke again: “I can’t leave.”
Zhou Mu took his hand, walked up to him, put his forehead against his, and said to him, “You can leave. If you want to leave, I’ll go arrange the paperwork now.”
Xu Zhi never considered himself a person who could cry very much, but he could never stop crying when facing Zhou Mu.
He could accept that he was an incurable mental patient, but he couldn’t face the fact that he would forget Zhou Mu every time.
“Senior,” Xu Zhi stretched out his hand and wiped his face, crying while saying, “What should I do?”
“Xu Zhi, it’s okay; take your time.” Zhou Mu rubbed the tip of his nose against the side of Xu Zhi’s face and said patiently, “I will stay with you.”
“Actually,” Xu Zhi sniffed, “I was very afraid that you wouldn’t come. I didn’t sleep all night last night because I was afraid that no one would come to see me today.”
“Xu Zhi.” Zhou Mu stretched out his hand to support Xu Zhi’s chin and told Xu Zhi, “I will go wherever you are.”
“But…” Xu Zhi was interrupted by Zhou Mu.
Zhou Mu said, “There is no but.”
The walls of the hospital are so high that no wind can get through, and the river of time seems to slow down. Zhou Mu took Xu Zhi’s hand and walked along the high walls. People passing by heard these words:
“I love you.”
“I love you.”
“I love you.”
