Translator: Lynn
“The first Chinese New Year after our marriage” marked the beginning of Zhu Ling’s rise to fame, and it was a period of intense and unusual days.
On the first day of the Lunar New Year, they loaded the car with a plethora of New Year’s goods to visit Zhu’s mother. When they arrived at her hometown, Zhu Ling briefly glanced at the car, then walked calmly down the corridor without carrying anything.
Ji Kai called out, pointing out that one person couldn’t handle all the items. To this, the renowned star looked back with a smile, his eyes squinted playfully, and remarked, “Baby Bear, you’re so strong, can’t you handle it? How about it?”
At that time, their hometown hadn’t yet finished renovating a new house, and there was no elevator in the six-story building.
They set out early that day, and Ji Kai hadn’t even had breakfast. He suffered from motion sickness and felt dizzy throughout the journey. Panting from exhaustion, he lugged all the heavy gifts upstairs.
Zhu Ling showed no sympathy, not even a trace, and even reprimanded him, “Is it that dramatic? Do you have to be so over-the-top?”
…
Marriage differs from courtship.
Ji Kai mentally prepared himself before entering into marriage.
After getting married, having a family, and raising a lovely son, he knew that the days to come wouldn’t always be as sweet as the courtship days. The enchantment of being a fairy-tale couple, with just sweetness in sight, was now a thing of the past.
Lowering expectations for happiness, life, and love in one’s heart was acceptable. Occasional grievances like this could be tolerated and overcome. It wasn’t too much to bear minor conflicts without making them into quarrels or divorce. After all, life couldn’t always be painted in the colors of pure happiness.
So, even if in the future they were taken for granted, treated with diminishing kindness and love, and became accustomed to it, much like air…
But perhaps this was the reality of ordinary married life for most people?
Whether feeling wronged or reluctant to accept this reality, as long as it didn’t violate core principles, they could live in harmony.
However, for some reason, Ji Kai, who had always considered himself “quite ambitious,” was deeply affected by this minor incident.
Whenever facing difficulties later on, he would recall Zhu Ling’s cold accusation of him being “over-the-top.” To avoid such ridicule, he chose to pretend that person didn’t exist, relying solely on his own efforts.
He kept it all in, never imagining that one day it would explode.
It was a trivial argument, the cause of which he couldn’t even remember. All he could recall was that the argument escalated, both of them getting more and more heated. When Zhu Ling, in frustration, accused, “You don’t love me anymore.”
Ji Kai, recalling their New Year’s Day incident, coldly replied, “Yes, I just don’t love you that much anymore,” throwing it back at Zhu Ling.
Even now, he couldn’t forget Zhu Ling’s shocked and hurt expression in that moment.
…
…bringing up old wounds. Ji Kai was struggling, and Zhu Ling’s uncontrollable sobs resonated from the other end of the phone.
“…Brother Kai, I still can’t let go of those words. You have no idea how much they hurt me!”
His voice choked, filled with a sense of injustice, a total mess.
“Oh… yes, I was selfish and ignorant at that time, causing you pain. But, Brother Kai! Why didn’t you scold me right then?”
“If I said or did something wrong, if I made you unhappy, if I angered you, why didn’t you correct me on the spot? Why keep it inside?”
“I’m truly, deeply frightened now… How many more instances like this are there? How many times have I disappointed you? Do you not love me anymore?”
“Before that day, I always believed we were happy.”
“Before you said, ‘You don’t love me that much anymore.’ I always thought we were very happy together!”
…
After the argument that day, they silently made amends.
Ji Kai didn’t formally apologize for his words, but privately, he regretted them profoundly. From then on, he never revisited or mentioned what happened that day. His demeanor towards Zhu Ling was significantly more tender and caring than before.
To the extent that over the next two years, they remained as tender and affectionate as the early days of their love.
He once believed that after overcoming this obstacle, they had both learned to appreciate and truly love each other.
…until the incident with Ye Yin ringing the doorbell.
In a daze, his knees collided with the hotel cabinet with a resounding thud in the darkness. A sharp pain shot from his knees to his head, almost bringing tears to his eyes.
Really, just a little more.
…
If during this phone call, there hadn’t been the interruption of someone ringing the doorbell, or the street scuffle over a bowl of porridge that day…
Then he would surely be at home now, snuggled on the cozy sofa. Wrapping Zhu Ling tenderly in endless thoughts, he’d be covering the guilt-ridden ache in his heart.
He believed that such profound love and yearning could heal all the minor wounds and conflicts from the past. In the days to come, he would continue being sweet, caring, and gentle, continuing to hold Zhu Ling with all his love.
But.
What’s the reality?
In the darkness, the delicate wall lamp in the hotel room emitted a dim, beautiful, and ironic light.
Ji Kai felt a slight soreness in his nose.
If only he could continue trusting his partner completely and unconditionally, as before, he wouldn’t be here now.
It’s inconceivable that, due to some twist of fate, he agreed to this unexpected “airborne visit” with the little fairy’s boyfriend, ending up in the same room during a heavy rain.
…
The sound of shattering glass emanated from the other end of the phone, creating a commotion.
“Zhu Ling?!”
“Oh… I’m okay. It was just the bottle… I accidentally knocked it over.”
“Have you been drinking?”
“Yes, I have! I downed a whole bottle of red wine before I gathered the courage to call you and ask about what you said!”
Ji Kai raised his wrist and rubbed his weary eyes: “You have a sensitive stomach, try to drink less.”
“I don’t care! Baby Bear, you don’t love me anymore, you don’t want me anymore, I might as well drink myself to death.”
Many times, Ji Kai felt that Zhu Ling was like an endearing yet noisy child. One moment he melted your heart, making you want to hold him close, and the next moment he frustrated you to no end.
“Of course, I love you.”
Even if this love had been tinged with sadness lately.
“You and Xiaoyan are the most important people to me in this world. Don’t be hard on yourself. Can you hear me? Leave the broken glass, be careful not to hurt yourself. Don’t overthink it, and go to bed.”
“Brother Kai.”
“…”
“Be good, I’ll come to City C to see you tomorrow.”
The voice on the other end suddenly brightened: “You’ll come? Baby Bear, you’re really coming?”
“As soon as the rain stops. I’ll be on my way.”
Zhu Ling sniffled several times, as if he had broken through into tears and smiled: “Then, Brother Kai, you must come! I’m waiting for you, you won’t lie to me, right?”
“Alright, go to bed soon, don’t miss work, okay?”
…
Silence settled back in the room.
Li Weidu gazed blankly at the dark ceiling.
All this time, he had assumed that Ji Kai was just like him.
Rushing to love others, clinging to that bit of luxurious warmth, unable to let go no matter what. Eventually retreating time and again, enduring endless disdain, indifference, and apathy, feeling utterly helpless.
That’s why every time he couldn’t help himself.
As if he despised and resented the version of himself deserving of abuse, he sought every opportunity to lash out at others recklessly.
No. It turns out he was wrong, very wrong.
He is unloved. But others are cherished by someone.
During the recent phone call, Li Weidu failed to grasp that Zhu Ling’s words were about genuine concern, not just part of a play.
In this scenario…
[Mr. Li, initially, I hesitated to speak up. But their actions were so brazen that the entire crew was aware of it!]
Despite being happily married and having someone dear, why do you persist in being so covetous and stealing from others?
Li Weidu couldn’t comprehend.
Zhu Ling seemed like a person blessed by fate, effortlessly obtaining everything he desired.
Back in high school, despite being financially disadvantaged and not exceptionally intelligent, he possessed the ability to entertain, sing, laugh, and prank. However, merely sitting in the schoolyard with a guitar in hand attracted a circle of adoring fans.
Everyone adored him, the world favored him effortlessly. Occasionally, even when he made a mistake, a dash of charm and playfulness allowed him to easily evade the consequences.
On the other hand, looking at himself—he was chauffeured to school in a luxurious car, had a butler for his needs, was diligent and conscientious, and consistently topping the academic charts.
Yet, he remained alone.
Eventually, even the treasure he had cherished for years was whisked away by Zhu Ling with a smile.
“Actually, those were just words spoken in anger during an argument.”
Ji Kai’s voice reached him, muffled in the darkness. It sounded like he was speaking to him, yet also as if he was conversing with herself.
“In my heart… I didn’t perceive it that way. Truly, I didn’t. I never intended to hurt him.”
Li Weidu fell silent. The ache was overwhelming, making it hard to breathe.
Just look. Everyone adored Zhu Ling. Everyone was devoted to him!
Unbelievable.
“…What’s the point of saying this now?”
A tinge of reluctance and malice seeped into his low, icy voice as he gloated: “Some words, once spoken, inflict lasting damage. It’s akin to cutting someone with a knife. Scars will remain, no matter how much you regret it.”
Ji Kai froze.
Though the dark room concealed his expression, the palpable unease was evident. Li Weidu felt a twinge of satisfaction.
[Weidu, do you know?]
[In truth, I’m aware that if I respond to your messages promptly, you’ll feel a lot better; I also understand that if I’m a bit more tender toward you, you won’t be as sad. But, I simply don’t wish to do that~]
When Ye Yin conveyed this, his big eyes shimmered, and his nearly innocent smile graced his delicate face.
At that very moment, Li Weidu grasped the concept that sudden cardiac pain was an involuntary physiological response.
Damn…
In one moment, he was wielding a knife, feeling triumphant while attempting to metaphorically poke someone’s spine. In the next, he was grappling with an inexplicable collapse, dragging a grievous wound. Why did it suddenly give in without reason?
Muffled and unable to voice his distress, he had to manage the situation. Blood trickled from his chest, a sensation akin to being battered.
Ji Kai, seated on the adjacent bed, remained oblivious to the peculiarities and continued earnestly seeking advice: “But Mr. Li, isn’t there any way to mitigate the damage? What if I sincerely apologize, really sincerely?”
Li Weidu was akin to a stranded fish, working hard to quell any unnecessary stirring, responding with a voice void of trembling: “It’s alright, learn from this, just refrain from repeating it ‘next time’.”
“But didn’t you just say…”
“What I meant is, ‘next time,’ when it’s with the ‘next person,’ treat them well and don’t just utter things out of anger.”
“…”
“…”
“Hey, you—this guy!” Ji Kai was a mix of exasperation and amusement, tossing a pillow at him, “Why should I be replaced by the ‘next one’? If anyone should be replaced, it should be you, right? Honestly, Mr. Li, let’s not delude ourselves or squabble over who’s right or wrong—it was Ye Yin persistently pursuing Zhu Ling, you know it deep down.”
Li Weidu sneered.
“It’s not like you haven’t witnessed Zhu Ling’s skill in sweet-talking others. He’ll never be clean in this matter. He’s a habitual culprit. You’d do well to be cautious.” After this statement, Li Weidu awaited Ji Kai’s retort.
The room abruptly fell into silence.
Of course, within Ji Kai’s perception, the world wasn’t silent—there was a vivid green train hurtling past his mind, causing a cacophony of ringing in his ears.
He gazed vacantly at the phone screen.
Indeed, life’s ups and downs were truly exhilarating.
Indeed, this is reality.
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