The ambulance arrived, and I, the driver, and the woman who had been helped by Kawase all climbed in, heading to the nearest general hospital.
The examination began immediately, leaving the three of us in the waiting room, waiting for it to finish.
Within five minutes, each of us started making calls.
The woman, who seemed to have been on her way to meet someone, called to inform them about her delay due to the accident.
She seemed to be having some kind of dispute, raising her voice repeatedly.
“Like I said, I got caught in an accident! And apparently, the police might come to ask me some questions, so—I don’t know when I’ll get there!”
“Yes. Yes, that’s right. It was a minor accident… Yes, currently in examination… Yes. The police… they should be coming soon… Yes, yes.”
The driver was frantically reporting to his company. His face was pale, a complete mess, as he made call after call. When he finally stopped, he sat with his head in his hands, slumping.
Meanwhile, I did the task Kawase asked of me. I let the nursing home, where she was supposed to volunteer today, know she couldn’t make it. They quickly accepted the news without any complaints.
Once that was done, I sat in the waiting room, but the voices of the driver and the woman beside me grated on my nerves.
Both of them only seemed concerned about themselves. Kawase was the one who actually got hit by the car, and neither of them seemed to care at all. It was nauseating.
“Are you here for Kawase-san?”
Just then, a nurse approached us.
I answered, standing up quickly, as did the woman and the driver, who walked over.
“How is Kawase?”
My voice came out in a rush without realizing it. The driver held his breath, anxiously waiting for the nurse’s words.
“She’s in no life-threatening condition. She’s regained consciousness, and her injuries aren’t too severe.”
A sigh of relief escaped from all three of us. Thank goodness. At least we avoided the worst-case scenario.
We were escorted to Kawase’s room. Inside, we found Kawase lying in bed with her head wrapped in bandages.
“Oh, Hirano-san.”
Her face brightened upon seeing me, and I couldn’t help but smile back.
“Are you okay?”
“Yes. I think I suffered a concussion, but I’m conscious now and feeling clear-headed.”
“Considering the severity of the concussion, we’d like her to rest for a while, but at this point, she’s basically okay.”
The nurse added an explanation.
“Lucky it wasn’t worse. You got hit by a car, after all.”
“It looks like the car was almost completely stopped before the collision, so the impact wasn’t that strong. The external injuries were mostly just scrapes, so it seems she just hit a bad spot.”
“Does that mean it wasn’t a major accident?”
The driver loudly asked the nurse, drawing everyone’s gaze.
“Well… but it’s still a car accident.”
“But she didn’t get seriously hurt, right?”
“Uh, yes… that’s right…”
The driver exhaled deeply, looking genuinely relieved.
“Ah, that’s great! Really, thank goodness!”
Despite saying this, he never even looked at Kawase.
…It was obvious what he was truly relieved about.
“Hey, if it wasn’t a big deal, can I go now? I have plans after this.”
The woman didn’t even try to hide her impatience.
“H-Hold on a moment. Could you tell the police that I was properly braking?”
“Huh? Why do I have to do that? It wasn’t a serious accident, right? Then there’s no reason for me to be questioned.”
“Well… but still…”
Bang! The loud slam of my fist hitting the bedside table echoed through the room.
Everyone looked at me in surprise.
I had reached my limit with all their nonsense.
“Both of you—don’t you have something more important to say first, instead of babbling on about pointless things?”
I strode over to the driver and glared at him from close up.
“This accident could have ended with someone dead. Yet all you’re concerned about is how much responsibility falls on you?”
“W-Who are you, suddenly…”
“And you.” I turned to the woman. “Kawase got hit trying to help you. Don’t you have anything to say?”
The woman, who’d acted like it was none of her business, looked away, annoyed.
“…It’s not like I asked her to help me.”
“What?”
“She probably helped because she wanted the points or whatever, right?”
“Listen here, you little—”
“Okay, okay, fine. I’ll say thank you. Happy now? Thanks for the help.”
“Hirano-san!”
Kawase’s voice stopped me as I raised my fist. The woman shrank back in shock. Just as I was about to punch her, someone grabbed my right hand.
“Let’s not get violent. This is a hospital.”
The nurse was holding my right hand firmly. I took a long breath and slowly lowered my arm.
“I don’t get it… This is seriously messed up. You’re all such hypocrites.”
“You two, please leave now.”
The nurse spoke to the woman and the driver. They grumbled under their breath as they left the room. The nurse finally released my hand.
“…I’m sorry.”
“I understand your feelings, but violence isn’t the answer.”
With a stern tone, the nurse gave me a warning before leaving the room.
Left alone, Kawase and I lingered in the awkward silence. Kawase seemed to be searching for something to say.
“So, you really want to help others, huh?”
“Huh… um…”
“You want to help people even if it costs you your life? Even if you die, even if no one thanks you, even if there’s no reward, you still want to?”
“…Yes.”
“Why?”
“Because it makes me happy to be able to help others.”
I took a step closer to her bed, looking down at Kawase.
“Maybe it’s not my place to say this, but… I think it’s strange. It’s not normal. That’s not a way for a human to live. God might praise it, but sacrificing yourself for others… I can’t call that admirable.”
“Do you… think it’s strange?”
“Yeah. I think it’s odd.”
Kawase clenched the sheets, looking back at me with determined eyes.
“I don’t help others because I want to be thanked. I don’t want a reward. When I see someone in trouble, I just want to help. Is that really so strange?”
…It’s not strange.
“Helping people and letting yourself be used are two different things.”
“To me, it’s the same. Someone in need gets helped. That’s all that matters.”
“But you take it too far. Why are you so obsessed with helping people?”
“Do I need a reason? If I told you there was some backstory that made me this way, would that make you understand?”
…You don’t need one.
“Just to check, do you have a reason like that? Some incident or trauma that changed you?”
“No.”
“Nothing? So, you’ve always been like this? A person who’d throw their life away to save others, born out of nowhere?”
“…Is that so wrong?”
…What’s so wrong about it?
“It’s not about right or wrong; I just think it’s not normal. Like you said, if you had some trauma that turned you this way, it’d be easier to accept.”
“…I don’t think of myself as special. There are plenty of people like me.”
Kawase persisted, unwilling to let go of her belief.
“Since I was little, I was clumsy, slow… I couldn’t do anything by myself. I’ve always had people helping me, and each time, it made me happy. Even if they only did it for their own pride or points or whatever… I was still happy.”
“….”
“So, I want to be able to help someone else. If I can help someone, that makes me happy too. Knowing that even someone like me has value… that’s why…”
“If someone’s in trouble and I can help them, then I’m happy too.”
“….”
She really is… just like my sister.
Akasaka, or that woman saved by Kawase, or the people enslaved by this “human level” system—it would be unbelievable to them that there could be people willing to help strangers without any thought of reward.
But I know people like that exist. People like Kawase, like my sister, who find joy in being able to help others, even if they receive nothing in return, even if no one thanks them.
There’s no backstory or trauma involved. Everything Kawase says is true. No grand reason, no past, no explanation is needed. There’s no reason required for people to help each other.
…That’s what real kindness is.
And… I know what happens to people who live with that kind of kindness. That’s why I had to tell her.
“…Do you remember what I was going to say just before you got hit?”
“Oh… um… I’m sorry, I don’t really…”
“I was going to tell you to stop helping people in a way that risks your life.”
Kawase looked down, silent.
“Those people probably would have reacted the same even if you’d died. No guilt, no gratitude; the only thing they cared about was their own ‘human level.’ They’re not worth helping.”
“Not everyone’s like those two…”
“No, people like that are everywhere. As long as God keeps watching humanity, there’ll always be more of them.”
“How can you be so sure?”
“….”
I looked at her steadily, my voice barely a whisper.
“Four years ago, my sister died.”
“What…”
“Just like you, she saved someone who was about to get hit by a car… and died in their place. And it went down pretty much like this. ‘Human level’ had only been around for four years back then.”
“….”
“My sister’s purpose in life was helping others. She always said she wanted to help anyone in trouble, without any thought for herself. She died sticking to that belief. …If things had gone differently, you might have been the one to die today.”
“….”
“So… please, take better care of yourself. I don’t want to see someone like you get used and eaten alive by others.”
“Is that why you hate the ‘human level’ system so much?”
“It’s not the only reason, but yeah, her death is part of why I came to hate it.”
“…Have you ever wanted to help someone, Hirano-san?”
“…I don’t know.”
Maybe, it’s less about wanting to help, and more that I can’t stand seeing good intentions twisted or doubted.
If someone could read hearts, truly see if a person was acting out of genuine kindness, that would be different. But without a way to see into someone’s heart, I’d have to accept that it’s impossible.
But if there was a way to judge people’s genuine intentions, to know if someone was truly helping out of kindness, it would have to be… well, only God could do that.
All the more reason for God to measure genuine kindness. That’s what should be quantified, defined, separated from hypocrisy.
That would be the only way to truly honor people’s kindness.
But God just treats everyone equally, ignoring people’s feelings, as if they mean nothing. And that pisses me off more than anything.
“If helping people meant you’d always be thanked… would you be willing to do it more often, Hirano-san?”
“…Maybe.”
I wasn’t sure what Kawase was trying to confirm.
“Well then…”
She seemed to get an idea and smiled.
“Hirano-san, would you help me with my efforts to help others?”
“…What?”
With a smug look on her face, Kawase smiled as if she’d come up with the perfect solution. I had no idea what she was talking about.
“I still want to help people. That’s not going to change. So, please, Hirano-san, lend me a hand.”
“Wait, wait, that ‘so’ doesn’t make sense. Why do I have to help you?”
“It’s not that you have to help me. You’ll help on your own. I know you’re not the type to do good deeds for your own sake. But if you help me, I can be genuinely grateful to you.”
“….”
“And if I ever try to help someone in a way that puts myself at risk, you can stop me. Then…”
Then, I won’t have to go through that kind of pain again.
“…That’s a pretty one-sided request, isn’t it?”
“You don’t expect anything back for your good deeds, do you?”
…Oh, she’s craftier than I thought. She’s got a surprisingly shrewd side to her.
“I think you’re a kind person, Hirano-san. Someone who genuinely cares about others and gets angry for their sake. It’s a shame if you feel like you can’t help people because you’re afraid of looking like a hypocrite. I want you to know that there are people who’d truly appreciate you… that there are people who’d understand your kindness.”
“…”
Kawase said this with unclouded eyes.
Kawase, who’d continue helping even if people called her a hypocrite, and me, who’d stop if I thought it would be misinterpreted. Our approaches were opposites.
By helping her, I might understand her way of thinking. And if I have the chance to stop her from going too far, then maybe she’d respect my view too. This was her way of meeting me halfway, to find a balance we could both accept.
Rejecting her now felt impossible.
“…Well, maybe once in a while.”
As soon as I said that, Kawase’s face lit up.
“Alright, looking forward to working with you, Hirano-san!”
With her innocent smile, all I could do was return a faint, helpless smile.
