Since it was already in her hands, Gu Qingtong had no reason not to read it. But in order to dispel the assistant director’s suspicion of her reading the fan fiction, she casually replied as if she wasn’t interested:
[I understand, don’t worry. I just thought it was the script modified by Director Yuan, so I downloaded it. I won’t read it.]
As soon as she exited the chat interface, she couldn’t wait to open the document. Initially, Gu Qingtong thought that with her previous knowledge of fan fiction, she wouldn’t feel embarrassed. However, she clearly underestimated this god-like phoenix-writing ability, especially with their names written so blatantly on it. It felt too immersive.
In the “Silent Gaze” fan circle, everyone assumed Gu Qingtong was the passive one, especially since she was so beloved. Only a few would attempt a fresh perspective, writing Gu Qingtong crying for love on the side.
This pregnancy setting was no exception; naturally, Gu Qingtong was the pregnant one. Just reading the description of herself being pregnant in the beginning made Gu Qingtong’s cheeks blush uncontrollably. She knew it was impossible, but because of the detailed description, she couldn’t help but imagine.
Even though she was embarrassed, Gu Qingtong’s curiosity still drove her to wonder what this pregnancy fanfiction was about. After adjusting herself for a moment, her eyes secretly fell on the words again, continuing to read.
This God was evidently not only skilled in phoenix writing but also rare in combining sweetness and sensuality. There was even some interaction before the foreplay.
As Gu Qingtong read on, it was uncanny how much the interactions mirrored her and Yan Chi’s daily life. After all, fans of the “Silent Gaze” CP1Couple Pairing had thoroughly grasped the essence of the “black-bellied gentle x little cutie” dynamic. It was delightful for fans, but for Gu Qingtong, the immersion was inescapable!
This made her toes curl secretly inside her bunny slippers. After struggling for a moment, Gu Qingtong gave in.
So what! She had secretly imagined scenes with Yan Chi and new positions before. If she was going to immerse herself, she might as well fully indulge, as long as Yan Chi and others didn’t find out. What’s wrong with an adult having some indescribable fantasies?
Resolving herself, Gu Qingtong’s shyness lessened a bit, and she finally stumbled her way through the foreplay section. In the story, she cried to Yan Chi:
“Wuwuwu, Tongtong is so sore and swollen, big sister, help Tongtong suck it, okay?”
Starting off with “engorged breast literature” was indeed something. Gu Qingtong had heard about this pain, and it felt too realistic. Gu Qingtong was most afraid of pain; if this were true, she would be in tears every day. She almost felt phantom pain just reading it.
As she read further, she gasped, “Sss—”.
Even though she was alone in her room, Gu Qingtong nervously covered her mouth, her pupils shaking with shock while not missing a single word of the description. This… Was this something she should be reading?!
Sucking was one thing, but spraying? Was that even real? Gu Qingtong knew that when she lost herself, she would…..leak, and that was already embarrassing and troublesome enough to deal with. But compared to the descriptions in the fanfiction, Gu Qingtong realized she was still quite naive.
Even though she had never read anything about this topic, the vivid and unabashed descriptions made it easy for her to imagine. The worst part was, the object of her imagination was herself.
When she came to her senses, Gu Qingtong suddenly froze, realizing something. She was….wet? The familiar sensation that only appeared when Yan Chi teased her had mysteriously surfaced, warm and damp.
She had never experienced such a reaction from reading fanfiction before; they were always mild and playful. This realization startled her so much that she closed the document halfway through and rushed to the bathroom without a second thought.
Gu Qingtong splashed cold water on her flushed cheeks repeatedly, beginning to question if she was too perverted. Why did she read such fanfiction, and how could she get so aroused after just a few lines?
Her body’s reaction didn’t lie, but after Gu Qingtong stopped reading the document, she felt an emptiness, and nothing seemed right. Her mind was filled with the last scene she imagined before closing the document. Her knees even buckled slightly from the overwhelming sensation.
However, a true fujoshi wouldn’t give up so easily. Throughout the entire day, Gu Qingtong kept sneaking peeks at the document, turning a 3,000-word fanfiction into something she studied as meticulously as a script. She read it bit by bit, stopping whenever she felt too immersed and taking a break to calm down. Then, when she couldn’t resist any longer, she’d read a little more.
She had to admit, even with both psychological and physical barriers, it was incredibly enticing. So much so that she found herself reading it over a dozen times until night fell, completely engrossed. By the time she had the scenes and dialogue memorized, she no longer felt as off-kilter upon reading it.
She thought that getting tired of the story would mean she wouldn’t be so drawn to it anymore. But instead of reaching a sage-like calmness, she felt a deep emptiness from the lack of new material. Gu Qingtong never imagined she’d feel so down because there was no more fanfiction to read!
Worse yet, after experiencing the thrill of reading fanfiction about herself, all other fanfiction—whether about other couples or even proper erotic stories—felt utterly bland. Even the usually busy Yan Chi noticed her distracted, absent-minded demeanor.
To avoid anyone discovering her secret fanfiction habit, Gu Qingtong decided to fight fire with fire, diving headfirst into an overload of reading. She figured if she read until she was utterly exhausted and devoid of desire, she might finally return to normal.
But when she reopened the Silent Gaze CP super topic, she was stunned by the unfamiliar scene before her. Since Gu Qingtong and Yan Chi had been immersed in filming “Bai Mei Sheng” and had not appeared in the public eye for a long time, the entire super topic was dominated by fan-created content.
Only content that could pass moderation would appear normally in the super topic. The things Gu Qingtong wanted to see had more complicated “posting channels.” To avoid getting the super topic shut down by posting too much, the fanfic writers had formed their own factions, each with its own group. To join, you needed to prove you were a true Silent Gaze fan.
Seeing the entry requirements and conditions for these groups made Gu Qingtong feel even more deflated. Having just experienced the social death of joining a group by mistake, how could she dare to try again? Moreover, this wasn’t among her industry peers; if she were exposed, it could mean social death severe enough to end her career in the entertainment industry!
Unable to access the explicit content she craved, Gu Qingtong could only scavenge the scraps left in the super topic. Then she remembered a group member’s remark when she was mistakenly added to the CP fan group: “I just organized a 1GB Silent Gaze content pack. Whatever kink you have, just ask the family.”
One gigabyte! Gu Qingtong was envious. She had no idea getting resources would be this difficult. Coincidentally, this group member was the same audacious one who not only flaunted themselves in front of Gu Qingtong but also boldly asked, “Are you guys dating?”
Perhaps it was this person’s straightforward nature, coupled with Gu Qingtong and Yan Chi’s relationship now being public, that made Gu Qingtong seriously consider asking for resources. Driven by her desires, the idea lingered in her mind for a while until she finally couldn’t sit still any longer. Relying on her memory, she found the group member in her contact list.
Since the other person could straightforwardly ask such a direct question while risking social death, why couldn’t she risk social death to ask for some resources? After hesitantly requesting some fics from that 1GB resource pack, Gu Qingtong quickly added:
[Of course, it’s not for me. It’s for a friend!]
As it turned out, bold people are always straightforward. The group member immediately saw through her excuse and replied:
[Tong Mei, your acting is still so clumsy. That ‘friend’ you’re talking about is just you, right?]
Gu Qingtong hadn’t expected her to believe the excuse but thought at least they could pretend and not expose her outright. Now, she didn’t even have a graceful way out. Naturally, she was unwilling to lose face so easily.
Aware that the crew members had already figured out her personality, she feared they would mock her relentlessly. If it were Yan Chi, no one would dare to joke around like this in front of her…..
Yan Chi’s aura was so intimidating that nobody would dare to make fun of her.
This sudden realization gave Gu Qingtong an idea, and she couldn’t help but turn her thoughts to Yan Chi.
So, she quickly typed out a few words:
[No, you’ve misunderstood. It’s just that Teacher Yan and I lack experience and want to…..learn a bit.]
Remembering the comment about her “clumsy acting,” Gu Qingtong felt embarrassed and added another line to save face:
[I’m not lying to you. You could say it’s for a friend.]
Who knew this statement would be perfectly interpreted by the other person as “Teacher Yan isn’t good in bed”. The group member immediately felt deep sympathy for Gu Qingtong. Instead of just a few fics, she directly sent the entire 1GB resource pack to Gu Qingtong, even reassuring her:
[It’s okay. Everyone’s first time is like this. Just learn more, and you’ll improve.]
Someone who didn’t know better might have thought it was a study guide for exams.
With the resources in hand, Gu Qingtong silently thanked the kind group member and Yan Chi. She outwardly agreed meekly but immediately started decompressing the resource pack to check the file directory.
At that moment, she truly felt the narrowness of her past experience, just like the My Melody meme: “Woohoo, what a great place! There’s more than enough content to enjoy!”
It was exactly as promised—every possible kink and theme could be found. The filenames even included brief summaries and ratings of the scenes. Truly a saintly gesture!
Today’s social death was worth it compared to the bounty she received. Filled with gratitude and excitement, Gu Qingtong eagerly clicked on the most eye-catching title and began to indulge.
Little did she know, every gift comes with an unseen price tag.
While Gu Qingtong was still foolishly gushing over her newfound treasure, the “saintly” group member turned around and shared this “earth-shattering secret” in the group:
[Teacher Yan isn’t good, it seems her skills are so bad that Tong Mei couldn’t stand it and came to me for resources to learn.]
Although the group had almost been disrupted by Gu Qingtong’s accidental entry before, it quickly regained its usual liveliness after she left, becoming even more active. After all, the main character had already admitted it—everyone had to dig up all the previously uncertain gossip and enjoy it to the fullest.
This statement immediately sparked intense reactions from everyone. Many of the staff had seen clips of the two acting in “Bai Mei Sheng” and Teacher Yan didn’t seem incapable at all.
Thinking this, they naturally offered examples to refute the claim:
[No way? Although our movie didn’t have real scenes, seeing Qingtong’s exhausted state after each shoot…..it shouldn’t be that bad, right?]
[Don’t slander our mighty Teacher Yan like that! I don’t believe it!]
In response, the group member bluntly shared the screenshot of Gu Qingtong’s message, [Teacher Yan and I lack experience and want to learn a bit.]
In this private chat, everyone felt quite relaxed, some offering consolation, others laughing hysterically:
[Give her a break; it’s rare for Teacher Yan to be interested. She was practically untouchable before this, let alone in matters of the flesh. Naturally, she wouldn’t be too skilled.]
[So even perfect Teacher Yan has her shortcomings? To push Tong Mei, with her shy nature, to ask for resources, her skills must be really bad, hahaha!]
But regardless of how they felt, everyone knew one thing for sure:
Teacher Yan—was not good in bed!
Gu Qingtong had no idea that her excuse for seeking resources had ruined her wife’s reputation. She was wholeheartedly engrossed in her newfound materials, binging on them for two whole days. The novels were so captivating that she even postponed visiting Yan Chi’s room. Ignoring the real deal in favor of indulgent fantasy made her the first to be lost in various scenarios of pleasure literature.
This obsession lasted until the third day when, just as Gu Qingtong had anticipated, she was completely satiated. She lost not only her worldly desires but also her interest in night activities for the time being. She even righteously told Yan Chi: “We can’t engage in any of that right now; the final scene is approaching!”
Even during her deepest immersion, Gu Qingtong never considered enacting her fantasies with Yan Chi. Despite her lascivious thoughts, she lacked the courage to act on them. She had already enjoyed herself in her imaginative scenarios, so why put her body through the actual experience? True to her self-serving nature, once she was satisfied, she saw no need for more.
However, while Gu Qingtong was content, Yan Chi, who had been mysteriously ignored for several nights, began to look at her little wife with an increasingly probing and intense gaze. Yan Chi planned to properly address Tongtong’s recent behavior once filming was wrapped up.
Soon, Yan Chi’s scenes were finally completed, and it was the wrap-up day. The last scene was the predetermined tragic ending. By this time, a long period had passed since He Haomei and Xuan Qingyun first met. Xuan Qingyun’s initial desire for conquest had gradually turned into a deep-seated addiction through their daily interactions, eventually becoming a genuine, humble attachment.
Despite knowing that He Haomei would never love her, Xuan Qingyun continued to use despicable means to forcefully keep her by her side. Xuan Qingyun couldn’t love anyone; her dominance and pride made it impossible for her to reveal her weaknesses and humility. This only made her obsession more constricting, tightening the net of her possessiveness.
He Haomei’s internal struggle was equally intense and contradictory. Xuan Qingyun was her enemy, and she never intended to forgive her. The only reason she endured the humiliation and disgrace, surviving thus far, was to one day exact revenge for her deceased loved ones. However, while imprisoned by Xuan Qingyun, He Haomei was caught between physical submission and being meticulously groomed by Xuan Qingyun to become the most outstanding lady official.
Xuan Qingyun seemed to have two faces: one was the pathological, obsessive, demanding persona she exhibited during her episodes, and the other was the nurturing figure who bent over backwards to provide He Haomei with everything she had silently yearned for since childhood—being uniquely and unwaveringly loved and cared for, without having to feign maturity and resilience.
Two emotionally deprived individuals came together, their bodies and spirits intertwined in dependence, yet neither knew how to love properly. This led to a cycle of mutual torment and deep emotional wounds, only to then cling to each other, licking their wounds in a twisted form of solace.
Their relationship began to thaw after an assassination attempt in which Xuan Qingyun took an arrow meant for He Haomei, narrowly escaping death. However, this fragile warmth was shattered when Xuan Yao discovered the truth. Xuan Yao died at Xuan Qingyun’s hands, unable to bear the betrayal, and Xuan Qingyun herself couldn’t accept betrayal from those close to her.
He Haomei was jolted awake from her gentle dream. She was no longer the girl who longed for love.
Instead, she was a dying person burdened with countless lives and hatred, unqualified to live for herself. He Haomei knew she was the tyrant’s only weakness. At this moment, if she wished, she could easily plunge Xuan Yao’s dagger into the tyrant’s chest. Tragically, the ease of this act was because the tyrant had previously suffered a severe injury saving her, leaving her completely defenseless.
This scene depicted He Haomei’s betrayal. Gu Qingtong’s current look mirrored the widely praised “Snowy Turnaround” from the promotional photos. She was dressed in pure white, reminiscent of He Haomei’s first appearance as a widow when meeting Xuan Qingyun, but this time, it was to bid farewell to Xuan Qingyun.
The scene extended from the interior of the hall to the exterior of the back garden. The plan was to use a single long take to capture He Haomei walking away alone as the final shot. This was evidently a new challenge for Gu Qingtong’s acting and the entire set design.
In preparation, the set was already covered in a thick layer of artificial snow, so realistic it seemed winter had arrived overnight. Although the filming hadn’t started yet, the anticipation of the final scene meant almost all the actors and crew were gathered around the set, densely packed with people. After filming, there would be a wrap video shoot and a celebration party.
This wasn’t one of those scenes that couldn’t be watched by others, so Gu Qingtong didn’t mind the audience. However, today was different; she nervously pressed her lips together and glanced at Yan Chi beside her. To her surprise, Yan Chi appeared completely relaxed, with a hint of amusement in her eyes, in stark contrast to Gu Qingtong’s anxiety.
This was the first time Gu Qingtong and Yan Chi appeared together in front of everyone since they had acknowledged their relationship.
As she noticed everyone’s gaze filled with gossip and innuendo, perhaps still wary of Yan Chi, otherwise there would surely be a commotion. Originally, the whole crew was buzzing with excitement. Word spread like wildfire, and now it seemed like common knowledge!
When Gu Qingtong revealed the shocking fact of their relationship to Yan Chi, she discovered that Yan Chi had known all along. It turned out she was the only one kept in the dark from start to finish. Not to mention the fans shipping them, even Director Yuan understood their relationship.
Gu Qingtong hadn’t gotten used to this kind of attention and scrutiny. Feeling extremely embarrassed, she instinctively wanted to move aside and continue pretending to be unfamiliar with Yan Chi. But before she could evade, Yan Chi noticed her intention and grabbed her wrist.
That’s how Gu Qingtong found herself pulled into Yan Chi’s embrace, her hand firmly held in Yan Chi’s palm.
“Why hide? Everyone already knows. There’s no excuse left for you now, Tongtong,” Yan Chi said, her gaze falling on Gu Qingtong’s quickly blushing cheeks and ears, smiling lightly.
Finally, she could openly and unabashedly embrace her little wife in front of everyone. For this unavoidable public revelation, Yan Chi had undoubtedly been quietly waiting for a long time.
Gu Qingtong knew that ever since they had confessed their mutual feelings for each other, Yan Chi had asked her thoughts about going public. After receiving her shy response, they continued to pretend to be strangers until now.
“Don’t bother me! We’re about to film, and I have to assassinate you later. If you keep this up, I might not be able to do it!” she muttered, hastily finding an excuse.
As the saying goes, Gu Qingtong blushed and shrunk into Yan Chi’s embrace. It seemed like she was avoiding the gaze of others, but in reality, she was getting closer to Yan Chi.
“I thought Tongtong never wanted to let go,” Yan Chi teased, leaning towards Gu Qingtong’s ear. With a mischievous tone audible only to them, she whispered hotly against her already flushed earlobe, “Sister might be heartbroken.”
Gu Qingtong’s ears were incredibly sensitive, nowhere to hide. Though it was just words, it seemed like Yan Chi was mocking her in front of everyone.
Their interaction caught the eye of everyone on set. Now that it was out in the open, they didn’t have to keep their relationship a secret anymore, making it a feast for the fans who couldn’t get enough of it.
“Tong Mei!”
Suddenly, Gu Qingtong was called out, and as she turned around, she realized it was the Bodhisattva2Buddha, in this context, it’s similar to a savior who had previously shared resources with her.
The Bodhisattva and a few other crew members stood together, seemingly part of the CP fans, exchanging knowing looks. Yan Chi had no idea about Gu Qingtong reading “fanfiction”!
Gu Qingtong felt a sudden panic, her body tensed, her breathing erratic. Yan Chi noticed her agitation, but didn’t say anything, silently waiting for Gu Qingtong to handle the situation herself.
At that moment, the eyes of several people looking at Gu Qingtong and Yan Chi held an inexplicable subtlety.
“Forgot to ask earlier, how’s your studying going?”
Gu Qingtong had set aside her interest in fan fiction ever since losing her worldly ambitions.
Halfway through, she suddenly remembered the “studying” excuse she used when borrowing resources. She could only force out a smile and stuttered: “It’s, it’s been very helpful, absolutely….mastered the knowledge.”
The Bodhisattva looked pleased and nodded: “That’s good!”
The two exchanged words like playing a riddle game, each responding to the other.
But how could Yan Chi be easily fooled like this? The strange glances from those few crew members who secretly watched her were filled with inexplicable curiosity and skepticism. Could it be gossip?
Moreover, she knew better than anyone that Gu Qingtong wasn’t someone who would study anything serious.
It wasn’t just Yan Chi she was thinking about. After Gu Qingtong and Yan Chi left, Yuan Jingyu approached her own crew.
Coincidentally, she overheard one of them saying: “Because Teacher Yan’s skills are so bad that Tong Mei couldn’t stand it anymore, she asked her to study this fan fiction piece. Can we let this go now? Hahaha! We’ve been laughing about Teacher Yan’s incompetence for almost a week!”
Yuan Jingyu frowned: What? Is this true?
She would have to go and ask Yan Chi about this.
