Xiao Cheng, worried that Nian Nian might not want to see him, waited until he reached the gate of City No. 1 High School before sending Nian Nian a message. Unsurprisingly, the boy didn’t reply.
Xiao Cheng took a deep breath. The December weather was already quite cold, and the icy air seemed to pierce his lungs, making him shiver uncontrollably. He wrapped his coat tightly around himself, grateful that his thick sweater and high collar shielded his neck from the cold, preventing him from trembling.
The security guard at the gate, the same man from last time, seemed surprised to see him. “Here for the performance?”
“Yeah,” Xiao Cheng responded, his mood downcast. Without saying much else, he registered his information and entered, carrying the gift he had brought.
The night air at the school was filled with the howling of the wind, and under the dim lights, Xiao Cheng stopped to look around. There wasn’t a soul in sight.
Upon entering the school gates, he saw a statue of Confucius standing prominently in front of him. Judging by the pile of snacks at the statue’s base, exams must have been approaching, and students were leaving offerings for good luck.
Xiao Cheng walked up the steps, stood beneath the statue, and casually placed the gift he brought alongside the others. He then pulled out his phone and checked it again, but Nian Nian still hadn’t responded.
In the distance, the lights of a few school buildings were still on, and he could faintly hear the sound of teachers lecturing. This was unique to schools, and for a moment, Xiao Cheng found himself lost in thought.
The scenes from last night kept replaying in his mind. Nian Nian’s cold expression and his sharp accusations felt like thorns lodged deep in his heart.
After a day of reflection, Xiao Cheng finally admitted to himself that he was also at fault. Knowing full well that his boyfriend disliked him being close to other men, he should have rejected Xie Zhao outright from the beginning, not let things drag on until Christmas Eve.
Nian Nian had every right to be angry.
Only he knew there was nothing between him and Xie Zhao, but in Nian Nian’s eyes, it must have looked like he was two-timing.
Xiao Cheng had always known how possessive Nian Nian could be. When they first met, Nian Nian had shown a hint of displeasure just because he complimented Luo Jingshu a few times. Since then, Xiao Cheng has learned not to praise anyone else around him.
He rubbed his temples, feeling the cold bite his fingertips after standing out in the wind for so long. His frozen fingers stung as he pressed them against his face, making him wince in pain.
Waiting here for Nian Nian didn’t seem realistic. It would be better to go and find him.
Xiao Cheng vaguely remembered the way to the school’s auditorium from his last visit, but after wandering around for a while, he finally reached the back entrance.
He planned to find someone who could help him call Nian Nian.
As he looked around near the door, a familiar figure suddenly approached.
“Xiao Cheng,” Luo Yuan called out as he exited the warm auditorium, rubbing his hands together to fight off the chill. “What are you doing here?”
“I’m here to see Nian Nian.”
Luo Yuan’s expression immediately turned cold, and he glanced back over his shoulder. “I don’t think he’s here.”
Xiao Cheng felt a hollow ache in his chest, though part of him had already expected this. Perhaps it was the bitter cold, but his mood grew colder as well, and the smile he had forced onto his face slowly faded.
“Thanks. I’ll go look for him elsewhere.”
Just as he was about to leave, Luo Yuan suddenly grabbed his sleeve. “I need to talk to you.”
Xiao Cheng turned back, his expression indifferent as he silently followed Luo Yuan to a quieter spot. They stopped just outside the reach of the lights, where the shadows cloaked their faces in darkness. Hidden from view, Xiao Cheng allowed the coldness on his face to fully surface, his expression tense and emotionless.
Luo Yuan exhaled sharply, his breath visible in the freezing air, as he glanced at the gift bag in Xiao Cheng’s hand with a jealous look in his eyes.
“Did you ask Luo Jingshu to move out?” Luo Yuan’s voice was sharp with accusation. “Do you even know what he’s really like? He’s not as harmless as you think. He might have deceived you.”
Luo Yuan could never forget that night when he tried to follow Luo Jingshu to meet Xiao Cheng, only to be threatened with a hand around his throat. It was the first time he had felt such murderous intent from anyone.
He had kept this to himself for too long, wanting to tell Xiao Cheng but never finding the right moment.
Confused by Luo Yuan’s words, Xiao Cheng interrupted him. “Wait. Who are you talking about?”
Luo Yuan’s expression was filled with hatred and frustration. “Luo Jingshu!”
Xiao Cheng felt as if something had struck him hard in the head. A loud ringing filled his ears, and he couldn’t think straight. His mind was stuck on one thought: He deceived me.
The hand holding the gift tightened until his fingers formed a rigid fist, but the pain from his stiff knuckles barely registered.
Xiao Cheng’s voice came out hoarse and strained. “Isn’t your name Luo Jingshu?”
Luo Yuan’s eyes widened as he instinctively retorted, “Who told you I’m Luo Jingshu? My name is Luo Yuan.”
His voice trailed off, and his heartbeat quickened as a bold realization began to dawn on him.
“I’m Luo Yuan. Luo Jingshu is my younger brother. He came back a little over two months ago. Aren’t you dating him?” Luo Yuan licked his lips nervously.
Could it be that Luo Jingshu hadn’t told Xiao Cheng the truth about who he really was?
Xiao Cheng bit down hard, tasting the metallic tang of blood in his mouth from the pressure.
“That night…” Xiao Cheng struggled to continue, pausing for a long time before he forced the words out, “The night of Luo Jingshu’s welcome party, why was he by the pool?”
Luo Yuan’s eyes flickered with hesitation, recalling that night. “He said he wanted to talk to me…”
At first, Luo Yuan’s words came out haltingly, but then his speech quickened, as if spilling out a long-held confession: “It wasn’t on purpose, but Luo Jingshu tried to push me in. I dodged, and he fell in himself.”
In truth, Luo Yuan had intentionally pushed Luo Jingshu. For reasons he still couldn’t understand, Luo Jingshu hadn’t dodged at the time.
Xiao Cheng wanted to laugh, but his lips twitched without producing any sound. His dry eyes began to water, and he suddenly felt grateful that the dim lighting concealed his disheveled appearance from anyone’s view.
That night, Xiao Cheng had jumped to conclusions, mistaking Luo Yuan for Luo Jingshu. Yet, Jingshu had never once corrected him.
A bitter laugh escaped him. Xiao Cheng didn’t know who to trust anymore, nor could he be sure if “Nian Nian”—the affectionate nickname he’d used—was even real.
“Are you okay?” Luo Yuan’s face showed concern, but deep down, he was elated.
Luo Jingshu had been lying to Xiao Cheng all along. Now that Xiao Cheng knew the truth, would he still want to be with him?
Luo Jingshu could never have expected his carefully constructed lie to be exposed like this.
Although, Luo Yuan still couldn’t understand why Luo Jingshu had lied in the first place. What did he hope to gain?
“Thanks for telling me.” Xiao Cheng’s voice was hoarse, almost cracked. Luo Yuan thought he detected a slight sob in it.
Did Xiao Cheng cry?
Luo Yuan doubted his ears and tried to get a better look, but Xiao Cheng turned and walked away before he could confirm.
Luo Yuan thought of following him but stopped, sensing that Xiao Cheng didn’t want anyone witnessing his vulnerability.
He silently watched as Xiao Cheng’s tall figure, clad in a long coat, gradually disappeared into the cold wind.
Xiao Cheng didn’t know where to go. He wanted to find Luo Jingshu and demand answers, but the events of last night were still unresolved. His thoughts were a tangled mess.
Images of Nian Nian’s soft smile flashed through his mind, followed by memories of Luo Jingshu’s cold expression.
He walked slowly, lost in thought, only noticing his surroundings when he heard faint voices. He looked up and realized he had unknowingly wandered near the artificial lake.
He remembered that it had been here the first time he had come to find Nian Nian. Nian Nian had told him, “Brother Cheng, as long as you come to find me, I’ll always meet you.”
Xiao Cheng could still recall the warmth in Nian Nian’s smile when he said that.
Was that boy, with his bright, gentle smile, just a figment of his imagination?
Xiao Cheng took a deep breath, then exhaled slowly. His stiff fingers still gripped the gift bag. He didn’t even know if it was worth giving anymore.
Just as he was about to leave, Xiao Cheng vaguely heard someone calling his name.
He stopped abruptly, standing frozen for a moment, then took a few steps toward the direction of the voice.
Jiang Yi had already spent twenty minutes standing in the cold with Luo Jingshu, unsure what was going on with him. Luo Jingshu just sat there, saying nothing.
Every time Jiang Yi wanted to speak, he was silenced by Luo Jingshu’s icy demeanor.
When he had asked if Luo Jingshu was fighting with his boyfriend, Jingshu had snapped at him.
Jiang Yi didn’t dare ask again. Nor could he leave.
Finally, unable to take the cold anymore, and mostly because the silence was unbearable, Jiang Yi blurted out, “Just call Xiao Cheng!”
“Please!”
Jiang Yi was on the verge of breaking down. “Whatever the problem is, just talk it out. Bottling it up won’t solve anything.”
Luo Jingshu glared at him, his peach blossom eyes filled with cold disdain. “You want me to call him?”
It was Xiao Cheng who was at fault, yet Xiao Cheng hadn’t called him. Why should he be the one to reach out first?
“You’re so damn stubborn!” Jiang Yi dared to retort, “You obviously like him, so why not give in a little?”
Though he didn’t know the full story of their fight, he knew enough about Luo Jingshu’s stubborn, prideful nature.
“You’re head over heels for him. What’s so hard to put up with?”
If Luo Jingshu really didn’t like Xiao Cheng, he could just break up. Why drag things out and sulk in the cold?
Luo Jingshu, frustrated by the constant nagging, kicked out his leg in irritation. The sole of his shoe scraped against the ground, making a faint noise, but not loud enough to drown out the words that Xiao Cheng, hiding behind a tree, clearly heard.
“It’s just for fun. When I’m bored, I’ll break up.”
Xiao Cheng’s body slumped against the tree as the tension drained out of him. His eyes, still red and brimming with tears, closed slowly. His clenched fists ached, but he barely registered the pain.
His breathing became shallow, tinged with the taste of blood. With his head resting against the tree, tears began falling from his chin.
On his way here, Xiao Cheng had wondered why Luo Jingshu would deceive him.
Now, he had his answer. It was all just a game.
Jiang Yi’s voice continued, “You’re such a scumbag.”
“Aren’t you afraid Xiao Cheng will find out?”
Luo Jingshu, pressing his tongue to his cheek in frustration, thought to himself, Xiao Cheng’s already moved on to someone else. What’s there to fear?
Jiang Yi, clearly relishing the drama, asked, “Aren’t you scared Xiao Cheng will break up with you?”
Luo Jingshu’s annoyance deepened, “He won’t.”
Xiao Cheng felt the sharp sting of his words cutting into him.
“Why would he? He loves me.”
Luo Jingshu’s tone was full of certainty. “He won’t break up with me. He loves me too much.”
Behind the tree, Xiao Cheng bit his lip hard, suppressing the sobs rising in his throat. Time passed, and when the sound of voices finally faded, he emerged from the shadows.
His legs, stiff from standing so long, barely responded, and his fingers, having clenched the gift bag for so long, ached with each movement.
The gift slipped from his hand and fell to the ground. Xiao Cheng glanced at it, his face drained of all emotion.
Wiping away his tears, he thought, It’s just a breakup. What’s there to cry about?
When he finally left the school, Xiao Cheng straightened his back, unwilling to let anyone see his distress.
But the security guard faintly noticed the tear marks on his face, the redness in his eyes, and the droplets of water still clinging to his lashes.
Back home, Xiao Cheng collapsed onto the carpet, letting everything fall from his hands.
Maybe drinking would help. If he drank enough, perhaps he’d stop feeling anything at all.
As the bottle rolled across the floor, a hoarse voice, tinged with a sob, broke the silence: “Bastard!”
“How could you lie to me…”
I loved you so much.
TN : wife chasing crematorium arc start! >:)
