In extreme cold, it turns out that one cannot feel pain.
Lying in a pool of blood, body heat gradually dissipates.
Heavy rain pelted his face, bringing a deathly chill. Xie Zilu, kicked to the ground, no longer had the strength to resist.
Seeing the ruthless eyes of Tai Zhen and Tai Yuan, he knew there was no escape tonight. Even facing death, he could still laugh, “Lin Lan, looks like we’re going to die together.”
Lin Lan rolled his eyes at him.
If he had the strength to speak, he would surely curse him.
Xie Zilu laughed softly. For some reason, what came over him wasn’t fear, but a strange sense of satisfaction. He almost pathologically reviewed his life.
He thought of his cold, heartless parents, and his own filthy life. In the end, it was like that clown mask—behind the madness was his ugly, wretched life.
Why are people born?
Why do they have to live dirty lives?
Lin Lan had said that the past was also part of oneself. So the only way to escape the past was through death, right?
Thinking this, Xie Zilu laughed like a madman, actually looking forward to the world after death.
But…
In the instant Tai Zhen’s club swung toward Lin Lan, Xie Zilu’s body moved uncontrollably to shield him. It was the first time he felt fear for someone else.
Using all his strength, he could only fall at Tai Zhen’s feet, while the one who truly blocked the crucial blow was Xiao Shengjing.
In the pouring rain, Xiao Shengjing’s eyes took on a deathly pallor. With the hand he used to hold the mouse, he forcefully withstood the blow, pulling Lin Lan into his arms.
Lin Lan was saved.
But the one who saved him wasn’t Xie Zilu.
In Xiao Shengjing, he saw an obsessive sense of protection. Suddenly, he felt that if it had been him, he might not have been able to go that far.
His wounds tore open again, causing him to faint from the pain. He was carried onto an ambulance, given an oxygen mask, and rushed to the hospital.
He was relieved that Lin Lan was saved, yet bitter that the savior was not himself.
Not sure if it was due to the pain or something else, he felt a warm sensation sliding down his cheeks.
In his final moments of consciousness, he thought that if he survived, he would find the right time and place to earnestly confess to Lin Lan once more…
“Beep—Beep—”.
The cold sound of the machine echoed in his ears as Xie Zilu struggled to open his eyes and saw an unfamiliar ceiling.
A strange voice came from beside him, “Mr. Xie, thank heavens, you’re finally awake…” The man looked relieved, opening a file and quickly briefing him, “The bidding in the afternoon is in two hours. Please rest for a while. I will organize all the documents, and we will leave an hour early…”
Xie Zilu felt confused.
He looked at the somewhat familiar but unrecognizable man, “Who are you?”
“I’m your secretary, Mr. Xie.” The man, looking nervous, crouched by his bedside, “Mr. Xie, aren’t you allergic to alcohol? How did you lose your memory?”
Allergic to alcohol? Xie Zilu touched his chest. Where were his wounds?
Where was the ring he liked to wear? Why did his reflection in the mirror look so much more mature?
A massive suspicion formed in his mind, and his breath became erratic. He suddenly sat up, scanned his surroundings, and grabbed the phone on the table to search quickly.
Everything displayed on the web contradicted his memories. He searched frantically, and suddenly thought of something, searching for Lin Lan’s name as if driven by a ghostly impulse.
A flood of information appeared instantly, with titles like “Esports Dark Horse”, “Future Star”, and “Finals Pentakill” all associated with his ID.
The phone slipped from Xie Zilu’s hand as he went limp, finally realizing that everything Lin Lan had said was true. Parallel worlds really did exist…
“Beep—Beep—”.
Suddenly, a wave of dizziness hit him, and he fell straight off the bed onto the floor.
When he woke up again, he was no longer in the hospital.
He lay on a large bed in a villa, and his phone displayed 2 AM.
He quickly got up and began to search for everything related to this world. He found that he had graduated smoothly, taken over the company, and become a director; his own trajectory had not changed much.
Only Lin Lan had the biggest change.
As he had told him, in this world, Lin Lan had reached the pinnacle of esports, bearing countless honors as well as countless criticisms.
There were even questions online asking: does Lin Lan have more fans or more haters?
The arguments below were fierce, and when he opened the poll, Xie Zilu’s heart sank.
The poll results were fifty-fifty!
What kind of concept was this? Xie Zilu couldn’t imagine it, only instinctively feeling a sense of dread.
Such an outstanding Lin Lan, yet there were so many people who didn’t like him?
As he scrolled down, he saw a barrage of unsightly comments, full of exaggerations, rumors, and provocations, with almost no one caring about the truth.
On the internet, they were like a swarm of locusts breeding perversely, using their frenzy to expand their ranks, completely ignoring the feelings of those they were draining.
His team did nothing, his teammates didn’t explain, and his fans were overly extreme…
With all these factors combined, the cyberbullying was overwhelming.
What was Lin Lan like in such an environment?
Xie Zilu watched numerous videos of his matches and interviews, seeing a Lin Lan in front of the camera that was different from the one in his memory, with a cold indifference, isolating himself from the outside world with arrogance.
He was unaffected by praise, and he didn’t care about defamation either.
He had turned himself into an outcast as if this was the only way to shield himself from the outside world’s harm. But in shielding himself from harm, he also isolated his own heart.
Xie Zilu wanted to find him, to see him. But each time he crossed over, it was always late at night.
He tried to leave some clues in writing, hoping to make contact with himself in the other world.
But this world’s Xie Zilu was too busy. He was occupied with auctions, acquisitions, bids, and various business affairs. He almost never noticed those paper slips that appeared out of nowhere. It wasn’t until the slips became a thick stack that, one night, he finally noticed them and responded by recording a video.
As the video began, the already prominent Xie Zilu appeared in a suit and tie, looking like a composed businessman, his youthful inexperience gone, and his eyes sharp. “What do you mean by parallel worlds? Should I understand you as another personality of mine? I’m sorry to meet you this way. My attending physician had told me that my illness was cured.”
“I don’t know why you’ve appeared here. I read all the notes you left for me,” he said, picking up the thick stack of paper slips and casually tossing them on the desk. “I have two questions: First, why do you want to see Lin Lan? Second, why should I help you? If your answers satisfy me, I might consider it.”
Xie Zilu began recording, his gaze meeting his own reflection on the screen. In a low, raspy voice, he told the other him, word by word, “Because he is the only one who, after my alcohol allergy, applied ointment to me voluntarily. When everyone, including myself, thought I was a lunatic, he told me that my illness was long cured and that I was a normal person. He is the only one in this world who doesn’t ignore my feelings. He listens to the thoughts of this madman quietly and responds with sincerity…”
At this point, he smiled, a touch of gentleness in his lowered eyes. “We are the same; you should understand how I feel. I didn’t come here to replace anyone or to change anyone. I just want to understand his past, to see him, to know what kind of person he used to be.”
This was one of Xie Zilu’s rare moments of emotional expression. After watching the video, the other him remained silent for a long time before suddenly asking in the video, “Does such a person really exist?”
Xie Zilu nodded firmly, answering sincerely, “Yes, such a person exists. He will always respond to your strange questions and won’t let you go mad in silence. When the whole world treats you like a lunatic, he will treat you like a normal person. He will know about your hidden, filthy past, but he won’t despise you. He will save you, protect you, and won’t abandon you in times of danger. He will escape with you and, for the sake of your dignity, exchange his secrets with you…”
As the last word fell, so did the tears from his eyes.
Xie Zilu seemed to finally understand his own heart.
He actually loved Lin Lan so deeply. But his heart had never admitted it.
He refused to admit that someone would sincerely care for a monster who didn’t even love his parents.
He refused to admit that a lunatic who had never experienced love from birth could also have the capacity to love someone.
He refused to admit it, and he dared not.
He feared it would drag him back into hell, feared that even his remaining flesh would be completely corroded.
By the time he finally realized how important Lin Lan was to him, the other person was already drifting further and further away, until he could no longer see him…
Xie Zilu raised his head, his eyes reddened as he looked at the screen. “Such a person does exist. I just didn’t hold onto him. I think, in the realm of possibilities, I’ll seek a glimmer of hope at the end.”
After leaving this video, he quickly received a response.
Looking into the other person’s eyes, he could tell the video had touched him deeply. The other person remained silent for a long time before agreeing to his proposal.
They could only meet during the day to see Lin Lan, and not within the team, only when he came out to compete.
They quickly arranged the time. It would be on the day the regular season of the Spring Split began, a day when Lin Lan had no match but would participate in the opening ceremony.
Xie Zilu had already made arrangements through his contacts. He entered backstage and stood outside Lin Lan’s resting room, where he saw a very different Lin Lan.
He was unusually quiet.
Sitting alone in a corner, wearing headphones, tilting his head slightly back, he exuded a cold indifference that warned strangers to keep their distance.
The surroundings were lively, but that liveliness didn’t belong to him at all. It was as if he had isolated himself from the world with a thick glass shield, even silently dying without reaching out to the outside world.
Was this the original Lin Lan?
Suddenly, Xie Zilu remembered the first time he met Lin Lan in his own world, how vibrant and dazzling he had been.
It turned out that only when he detached himself from this world could he truly find happiness.
Xie Zilu didn’t disturb him. He simply gazed quietly through the window at him, contemplating Lin Lan’s journey and the paths he had taken.
By the end of it all, he felt a strange sense of peace.
He suddenly understood why Lin Lan had chosen to steadfastly remain in that world.
He bravely chose another path in life, showing Xie Zilu another possibility. Perhaps he too could now choose a different life?
Not wanting to disturb him, Xie Zilu prepared to leave. Lin Lan’s gaze fell on him, cautious: “Who are you?”
He immediately lowered his cap. Realizing how suspicious he might appear, he took off his cap and smiled at him. “I’m your fan.”
Lin Lan’s expression didn’t relax. His profile showed a hint of arrogance, his voice cold and distant, with a sense of superiority: “This isn’t the place for you. Leave now.”
Xie Zilu felt that at this moment, Lin Lan resembled himself. The more he was hurt, the sharper his defenses became.
Without hesitation, Xie Zilu left. On his way back, he created a virtual account for himself, acting as Lin Lan’s fan online, shielding him from harm time and time again. Through the constant jumps in time and space, he unwittingly accompanied him for four years, from his lowest point to his peak.
Meanwhile, he noticed that the time he could travel back was getting shorter and shorter as if the force maintaining the magnetic field was slowly weakening.
The last time he traveled back, that world had already been running for four months. His computer was filled with many videos, all about Lin Lan.
Xie Zilu scrolled through them one by one. He saw Lin Lan winning the world championship, saw him becoming a vegetable after a car accident, saw his team hypocritically mourning him, and saw his haters reveling all night long.
Finally, he saw the emptiness in his own eyes in that world for the first time. “He’s dead. It was just announced online. Do you know? During the three months he was unconscious, everyone said he was faking it, seeking sympathy. Not a single person stood up to explain for him.”
“It was only after he died that those who supported him gradually spoke out, condemning his haters, and fighting against online bullying. But what’s the use? He’s already dead. His attending physician said in an interview that during those three months, he had no will to live and passed away peacefully, without any struggle.”
Xie Zilu clenched his hands together, fear flickering in his eyes. “The person you spoke of, has he already disappeared?”
Xie Zilu smiled gently. He calmly reassured the other person, “No, he hasn’t disappeared.”
“He made his choice, staying in the world he loved, living his ideal life, and gradually gaining the ability to love and be loved.”
“We, like him, can also strive to be like him.”
“Learn to embrace new life.”
After recording the last sentence, Xie Zilu distinctly felt the magnetic field around him dissipating, and the points connecting the two worlds gradually fading away.
“Beep… Beep…” The sound of the instruments echoed in his ears, incredibly real. Xie Zilu slowly opened his eyes and saw the familiar hospital room.
He had returned to his own world as if given a second chance at life.
Was this journey intended by fate to give him a new life?
The sunlight outside shone on his hands, and Xie Zilu felt a warm sensation for the first time.
So this is what it feels like to be alive.
Actually, it wasn’t as bad as he had imagined.
During the two months Xie Zilu lay in the hospital after the accident, Lin Lan visited him twice. The first time, he came alone, bringing four apples and eating one himself.
Unexpectedly, Xie Zilu didn’t get angry. He greedily watched Lin Lan laughing joyfully and involuntarily smiled along with him.
Having seen Lin Lan over those four years and now seeing him here, every second felt precious.
The second time, Lin Lan brought Xiao Shengjing with him.
Xiao Shengjing waited outside the door while Lin Lan came in, this time bringing a fruit basket and also informing him of the verdicts for Tai Zhen and Tai Yuan.
“Compound sentences, at least it should be a capital crime. Feels good,” he said, then ate one of his oranges.
Xie Zilu sat on the hospital bed, unsure what to say, just smiling at him. Suddenly, he remembered something and asked him, “Tai Songshan passed away. What are you going to do with the inheritance he left you?”
Lin Lan shrugged indifferently, “Donate it.” He said it as casually as drinking water and eating food.
Perhaps others wouldn’t understand, but having seen Lin Lan’s past, Xie Zilu could understand his feelings.
After experiencing these ups and downs, Xie Zilu had long seen the worldly splendor and knew what he wanted. He wouldn’t change anything about his current situation for that inexplicable inheritance.
Xie Zilu smiled again; he had noticed that he had been smiling a lot lately. Seeing the world from a different perspective seemed to have freshened the air significantly.
“Lin Lan.”
“Yeah?”
“I think you’re doing just fine.”
“Yeah, I think I’m doing just fine too.” Lin Lan smiled happily, so much so that he shared the orange he had peeled with Xie Zilu. “You’re doing just fine now too.”
Author’s note:
Extra chapter completed~
This book ends here, folks!
Translator’s note:
And that’s it! Thank you for reading~
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