IRAJAS Chapter 19

Returning to the club, Lu Shi learned that Lin Lan had crashed his bike. Sure enough, he began to complain, “Damn, can you crash even riding an electric bike? Lin Lan, I admire you for not caring about my bike being damaged. Do you think it’s nothing just because my vehicle is in bad shape? Let me tell you, this is a month’s salary for me, scrimping and saving, not eating or drinking, sleepless nights…”

If it weren’t for Xiao Hai and Ayu stopping him, Lin Lan felt that Lu Shi could complain for three days and three nights. He returned to his room to change clothes, involuntarily recalling Dr. Li’s words. After changing, he climbed up again, searching through the room.

Lin Lan’s life in this world is quite monotonous, filled with various odd little things and gaming consoles, almost his entire possessions, with the rest being just basic necessities.

Opening the innermost cabinet, Lin Lan found two bottles of medicine with English labels. He checked online, and indeed, they were psychiatric drugs.

Does “Lin Lan” really have a mental illness?

Why hasn’t he felt anything after coming through for so long?

He opened the medicine bottle; it was still full. The other bottle hadn’t even been opened and was hidden in such a secretive place, not seeming like something taken regularly.

Lin Lan’s mind was filled with questions.

If there’s an illness, why not take the medicine?

If there’s no illness, why choose suicide?

In the mirror, the last thing he said was: Save me. He still remembered the desperate look in his eyes, as if he was truly on the brink of death.

Could there be another hidden story behind his suicide?

Lin Lan remembered something in a flash and immediately took out his phone.

The day Lin Lan took sleeping pills according to the mirror was February 18th, his 18th birthday.

All chat records in the original owner’s phone were wiped clean, even the cache was cleared.

What kind of person chooses suicide on their 18th birthday? And before dying, clears their phone?

Was his death voluntary or forced?

Did someone else delete the phone records, or did he do it himself?

Looking at the English words on the bottle, Lin Lan’s mind became a bit dizzy. Staring at those densely packed letters for a long time, they seemed to scatter in his mind, as if his consciousness was being pulled into some unfamiliar space.

The scene in front of him was somewhat distorted, like ripples in water, and even the incoming sound seemed to be through a thick glass tank.

He saw a masked male doctor sitting opposite, holding a medical record, “Lin Lan, 17 years old, right? Because you don’t have a guardian, I’ll tell you about your condition directly…”

“From the symptoms, you have a mild anxiety disorder, easily influenced by surrounding factors leading to emotional instability… Remember to take the medicine I prescribed on time, the methods I just taught you can relieve anxiety, pay attention to your sleep time… Come back to the hospital for a check-up next month…”

Lin Lan heard his own voice asking, “Do I have a mental illness?”

“For now, not really, but if it’s not controlled, it may develop in a more serious direction. I can’t guarantee.”

“Alright, go get the medicine.”

The female doctor beside him was the same one Lin Lan had seen during the day at the hospital, Dr. Li. She smiled slightly, “Lin Lan, right? Come with me to get the medicine.”

Lin Lan felt like he stood up on his own. His body seemed uncontrollable, and his perspective couldn’t be manipulated. He could only see what the protagonist saw.

The surroundings remained distorted and very unstable.

A buzzing sound filled Lin Lan’s ears; he could hear his own rapid breathing and heartbeat.

Dr. Li walked ahead, wearing a snowy white lab coat, “Lin Lan, young people shouldn’t be anxious. If you control this disease well, you’ll eventually recover.”

Lin Lan heard his own voice, “I’m not sick.”

Dr. Li laughed, “Yes, not sick, not sick. Okay, go get your medicine…”

Lin Lan took the medicine bottle from her, turned it over, and it was the same two bottles he found in his room.

The same letters twisted and overlapped, consciousness breaking free from the distortion…

Lin Lan returned to his room, still holding the medicine bottle, looking at the real surroundings. He finally realized that what he saw just now was probably a part of “Lin Lan’s” memories, and it was related to this medicine bottle.

It seemed he was right; there were many unlocked memories in this body, needing some kind of trigger to open them.

Exiting “Lin Lan’s” memories, he felt a bit uncomfortable. The first-person perspective gave him the illusion that he was “Lin Lan,” and that heavy, dark, eerie atmosphere lingered like a shadow, particularly oppressive.

Suddenly, there was a knock on the door.

Xiao Shengjing stood in front of the half-open door, using his cold eyes to assess him from top to bottom. “Do you need to go to the hospital?”

Lin Lan was slightly stunned. “Huh?”

“Lu Shi said you hit a pole.” Xiao Shengjing hadn’t even had time to take off his glasses, faintly shining. He stood at the doorway, blocking all the light with his nearly six-foot-tall figure. His entire person appeared indistinct against the backlight. “Are you okay?”

Lin Lan blurted out, “I’m fine, it won’t affect the competition.”

Xiao Shengjing stared at him for a long time, without reacting for a while. After a moment, he turned away. “Hmm.”

As he left, the light outside the door fell to Lin Lan’s feet again. From this angle, it looked as if a person in hell had suddenly been shown a way out, overlapping with a certain scene.

Something flashed in his mind, and the world around him began to distort again.

Lin Lan felt like he was locked in a small space, someone pouring water into it, the cold water drenching him to the bone.

Someone loudly mocked him, piercing and eerie. Suddenly, the mocking ceased abruptly, and someone forcefully kicked over a bucket, loudly rebuking them, “Have nothing better to do?”

The small space suddenly opened up, a light shining through. A tall and bright teenager stood at the door, highly coinciding with the scene of Xiao Shengjing standing outside the door just now. It was as if he had opened a way for him from the depths of hell. “Are you okay?”

From Lin Lan’s perspective, the youth was radiant and dazzling to the point where he felt ashamed. His body curled up, so inferior that he wanted to bury himself in the mud. “Th-thank you, Senior Xiao…”

Senior Xiao?

It couldn’t be Xiao Shengjing, could it?

Lin Lan wanted to lift his head and take a closer look, but his viewpoint was fixed. He could only look up after the other person left.

Breaking free from the memory, Lin Lan’s body was still somewhat paralyzed. He quickly stood up, closed the door, and went into the wardrobe to find his graduation photo.

The light just now was too intense, and Lin Lan couldn’t see clearly, so he wasn’t sure if the person was Xiao Shengjing.

If it was, then he could probably guess why “Lin Lan” liked him because Xiao Shengjing had once saved him at school.

In the least noticeable corner of the wardrobe, there was a box containing various documents of “Lin Lan” and a class photo. Xiao Shengjing wasn’t in it, but the name of the high school was familiar. If he remembered correctly, Foolish Dog should have graduated from this high school, so Xiao Shengjing probably did too.

So, Senior Xiao should be Xiao Shengjing.

Since they were from the same school, would he know something about “Lin Lan”?

Lin Lan restored the room to its original state and returned to the training room to continue training.

After the training session, he sneakily approached Xiao Shengjing’s door. “Captain, can I come in?”

“Come in.”

Xiao Shengjing was playing games in his room, which also had a computer set. After each training session, he would play solo to maintain his skills.

Lin Lan noticed a chair next to him and sat on it quite conscientiously.

Xiao Shengjing was playing Kha’zix, skillfully handling an assassin-type jungle hero, showing no mercy when eliminating enemies in the backline.

While Xiao Shengjing was focused, Lin Lan slowly approached his ear and asked, “Captain, did you also graduate from Shengyuan High School?”

Xiao Shengjing made a critical mistake in his operation. To make up for it, he put a lot of effort into winning the team fight.

He slightly pulled back, saying, “Don’t get so close to talk.”

Only then did Lin Lan realize he was too close, practically leaning on the other’s chair as if trying to push the person away.

He adjusted the distance and earnestly asked, “I also graduated from Shengyuan High School. Captain, do you know me?”

“No impression.”

“You saved me in the bathroom.”

“Probably.”

“What do you mean by ‘probably’? I don’t like to guess, so I’ll ask directly: Do you remember me? Captain, what kind of person am I in your memory? Can you tell me?”

Xiao Shengjing didn’t answer, but he played the game aggressively, swiftly eliminating the opponents. He picked up the water cup and took a sip.

While Xiao Shengjing was drinking and taking a break, Lin Lan sneakily leaned in again. “Captain, do you know that I used to have a crush on you…”

Xiao Shengjing, who was drinking water, suddenly stiffened.

He turned his head and met Lin Lan’s eyes.

The other’s eyes were attractive, faintly bright under the light, filled with intense curiosity. The eyelashes fluttered slightly, unexpectedly soft.

Xiao Shengjing was choked by the water, his face turning red. When he stood up, he accidentally knocked over the water cup, and the scalding hot water instantly soaked his team uniform.

Lin Lan quickly pulled out a large part of the tissue on the table, squatting down to wipe it for him. Not only were his clothes wet, but even his pants were not spared. So, Lin Lan kept wiping down, “Captain, don’t move, don’t move…”

Xiao Shengjing choked even more severely, coughing with veins popping on his neck. His lightly colored pupils trembled slightly in shock, and the hand on Lin Lan’s shoulder exerted force, the knuckles turning white.

Unaware, Lin Lan continued wiping downward. Suddenly, Xiao Shengjing retreated with both the chair and himself, grabbing Lin Lan’s hand.

A voice, suppressing anger, came from above, “Lin Lan!”

The room’s lighting wasn’t particularly bright, somewhat hazy.

Xiao Shengjing stood unsteadily in front of him, his team uniform slightly disheveled. The thin-framed glasses on his nose moved with his uneven breath, and there seemed to be an ambiguous and entangled atmosphere spreading in the room.

Lin Lan suddenly realized, “Captain, don’t be scared. I didn’t mean that…”

Xiao Shengjing coughed, not wanting to talk to him. He picked up the remaining half of the tissue on the table and forcefully threw it at Lin Lan, “Get out.”

Lin Lan swiftly got up and rolled out. He walked to the door but turned back to explain, “Captain, um, please don’t misunderstand. I really didn’t mean that. Believe me, my heart is very pure, purer than the tissues on your table…”

Looking at the scattered tissues on the floor, crumpled into bunches, Xiao Shengjing’s last thread of rationality snapped, “Get lost.”

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