In the last memories, Lin Lan saw the kind and gentle expression of Tai Songshan.
When the orphanage director asked what kind of child he wanted to adopt, he kindly said, “I want an obedient child. I hope he is well-behaved, sensible, and quiet.”
Ten-year-old Lin Lan nervously and fearfully looked at him through the window, and he smiled back at Lin Lan. That smile really resembled the image of his father in his memory.
But then, that kind face gradually changed, becoming cold and indifferent. He forcefully pulled Lin Lan’s arm and mercilessly struck his palm with a ruler.
“Did I not tell you to obey? No matter what I say, you must keep it in your heart and not argue! This is an order!”
In the final memories of the original host, that home resembled a black hole, gradually engulfing him.
Lin Lan came to from the dizziness, and his body was jolting.
Xiao Shengjing was carrying him on his back, trying to hail a taxi. The transportation here was not convenient, so he had to carry him and keep running, running with wheezing breaths, his forehead covered in sweaty heat.
Having just absorbed a large amount of memories, Lin Lan felt extremely nauseous with this sudden movement. He patted Xiao Shengjing’s shoulder weakly and said, “Captain, please put me down quickly.”
Xiao Shengjing placed him on the steps, cupped his face, and anxiously asked, “Lin Lan, are you more conscious now? Can you see who I am clearly?”
“I can see clearly,” Lin Lan, holding his stomach and looking uncomfortable, replied, “Captain, could you buy me a bottle of water? I need mineral water.”
Xiao Shengjing immediately stood up. “Alright, wait for me here.”
Lin Lan sat in place, his mind in turmoil, with many memories yet to be fully accepted rushing into his head.
He now understood that what the original host wanted to escape and forget was the family that adopted him and those two twin brothers. Because they heavily influenced the original host’s family and school life, the original host chose to block out these two parts of memories. As a result, memories of Xiao Shengjing and Xie Zilu were also forgotten, as they were part of these suppressed memories.
No wonder Xie Zilu always mentioned being far from the truth. It turns out it was like this.
What the original host wanted to escape from the most was not Xie Zilu but the family that adopted him. Long-term obedience and weakness left him without the courage to break free from that family. The only thing he could achieve was to obtain a new life through esports. Hence, he called upon his counterpart from another world in those three crucial matches to assist him.
This also explained why every time Lin Lan arrived, it was during a critical moment when the original host desperately needed victory in a competition. For the original host, leaving that family was the most urgent and necessary thing.
Lin Lan realized this but soon found something amiss.
He had already stayed at DT, breaking free from his fate. Then why, on his 18th birthday, did he choose to end his own life?
Xiao Shengjing returned with the water, and Lin Lan finished a whole bottle before calming down. Xiao Shengjing handed him another bottle, and Lin Lan held it tightly, caught in inner conflict.
“Are you feeling better? Should I take you to the hospital?” Xiao Shengjing inquired.
Lin Lan shook his head. “I’m fine.” Still unable to comprehend, he muttered to himself, “Something must have happened in between.”
Seeing Lin Lan struggling with his thoughts, Xiao Shengjing, sensing his uneasy state, reached out and helped him up from the ground. “I’ll find you a place to rest. Take it easy, and tell me everything later.”
Lin Lan nodded; his thoughts were currently in disarray. Whatever Xiao Shengjing said, he followed along, finding comfort in this sense of security.
Xiao Shengjing opened a room, a twin-bed room.
Lin Lan sat down.
He briefly described the things he recalled.
As he recounted, some mysteries began to unravel. The fact that the original host was adopted was unknown in the school. When everyone saw those two brothers bullying him, they instinctively treated him as an impoverished student to be bullied. The original host’s character became weak and unable to resist through repeated obedience, even developing severe anxiety.
Although not personally experienced, recalling it from a first-person perspective, Lin Lan still felt mentally affected, and his heart was pounding uncomfortably.
“Xie Zilu should know that I was adopted by the Tai family,” Lin Lan rubbed his forehead, his thoughts still scattered. “He must know something.”
After a confused search, he thought of something else. “And there’s Jiang Xi. She has a good relationship with those two brothers. She should know something too. I should continue to contact her.”
The original host had clearly reached adulthood, endured until the age of 18, but chose to end his life on that very day.
Something must have happened in between.
Lin Lan felt a stabbing pain in his heart, and the original host’s emotional impact on him was unusually strong.
Suddenly, a shadow fell; it was Xiao Shengjing’s hand. He comfortingly patted Lin Lan’s back from top to bottom. “Don’t think too much; it’s all in the past.”
The heart suddenly skipped a beat, intensely, and memories of Xiao Shengjing also surged into his mind.
In the original host’s memories, Xiao Shengjing had always been an elusive figure. Wherever he was, a ray of light would surely follow, bringing a sense of security.
At this moment, Lin Lan suddenly couldn’t distinguish whether this was the original host’s emotion or his own.
After comforting him, Xiao Shengjing ruffled his hair with some concern. “Let’s go downstairs for some food. What do you feel like eating?”
At the mention of food, Lin Lan suddenly looked up.
As the original host’s emotions slowly faded, they were replaced by Lin Lan’s genuine hunger.
Although he felt guilty about it, Lin Lan subconsciously licked his lips. “I… want to eat the barbecue downstairs. Can I say that? I noticed it on the way to the orphanage. They have this marinated beef that looks quite delicious…”
Xiao Shengjing laughed.
He ruffled Lin Lan’s hair with a bit of force, feeling that he was real only at this moment. “Sure, my treat.”
Lin Lan didn’t care about his now-messy hair. He quickly washed his face and followed Xiao Shengjing downstairs for a barbecue.
Xiao Shengjing was a refined person, even when it came to eating barbecue. He carefully rolled up his sleeves, neatly arranged the necessary tools, and skillfully grilled each piece before placing it on Lin Lan’s plate.
He controlled the timing of grilling meticulously, ensuring each piece was perfectly done. He also added different soulful seasonings, making Lin Lan exclaim, “I shouldn’t have drunk that bottle of water earlier.”
Xiao Shengjing’s hands were getting tired from all the grilling, but he persevered. Feeding Lin Lan brought him a sense of satisfaction that he couldn’t find elsewhere.
If possible, he hoped it would be a lifetime.
Xiao Shengjing’s hand suddenly stopped while grilling meat. Lin Lan asked what was wrong, and he shook his head, placing the grilled meat in Lin Lan’s bowl.
Setting down the tongs, Xiao Shengjing looked at him seriously and earnestly, “Do you like it when I grill meat for you?”
Lin Lan nodded vigorously, absolutely loving it. “And the seafood buffet last time, Captain, you cooked so deliciously, and the seasonings were incredible.”
Xiao Shengjing’s hands clenched together, a bit nervous. “I can grill for you for a lifetime.”
Lin Lan had just picked up a piece of grilled meat and dropped it.
Xiao Shengjing cleared his throat, his ears turning slightly red. He was always decisive in his actions, and the same applied to matters of the heart. “You don’t have to answer me now; you can think about it.”
After he finished speaking, Lin Lan’s chopsticks dropped too.
While picking up the chopsticks, Lin Lan thought silently, why were Captain’s confessions always so unexpected and straightforward?
He picked up the chopsticks, looked at Xiao Shengjing seriously, and mustered the courage, “I’m going to get a new pair of chopsticks.”
Watching him escape in embarrassment, Xiao Shengjing chuckled again. Although he felt that opening Lin Lan’s heart required a lot of effort, for some reason, he felt a profound sense of happiness throughout the process.
When Lin Lan returned after changing chopsticks, his bowl was filled with freshly grilled meat again. He ate with a mix of hesitation and guilt, thinking: Why does it have to be so delicious? Couldn’t it be less tasty? It’s hard to refuse when it’s grilled this well…
After satisfying their hunger and thirst, it was already late in the day.
Xiao Shengjing also bought a bottle of cola for Lin Lan.
Looking at the cola in his hand, Lin Lan’s mood was complex. He thought about how, in the original world, Silly Dog would never buy him cola because he believed drinking too much was unhealthy. He kept insisting on helping him quit his cola addiction.
He always said he loved himself, but on matters of principle, he would never back down.
Like the issue of IB’s shares and the decision to bench players, no matter how Lin Lan reasoned with him, he never thought he was wrong.
Sipping the cola, Lin Lan sighed contentedly, “Captain, you are really different from what I imagined.”
“How different?”
Lin Lan couldn’t quite express it. He just felt, “You look quite aloof like you don’t understand the hardships of the mortal world, but you treat your teammates well. You never stand idly by when they’re in trouble. Even when Wu Tianqi asked for your help in the game, you would set aside past grievances to assist him. It’s different from what I imagined.”
“What did you imagine me to be like?”
Lin Lan tried to imagine based on Silly Dog’s appearance, “You should be distant, very aloof, always appearing above it all. You wouldn’t bother with trivial matters. Except for those you care about, you wouldn’t care about anyone else’s life or death. Even if your own teammate is benched, you wouldn’t feel upset; instead, you’d think it’s because they weren’t obedient enough, and the team is right to use them as an example…”
Xiao Shengjing pinched his neck, unable to listen any longer, “Am I really like that in your eyes? Lin Lan, I’ve helped you many times in school. You’re too ungrateful…”
He didn’t squeeze too hard, making Lin Lan feel ticklish. He laughed while dodging, “Sorry, I stereotyped you. Captain, I apologize.”
Xiao Shengjing released his grip, feeling that the atmosphere between them had become much closer. He sighed, “Actually, you’re not entirely wrong. I used to be that kind of person.”
Lin Lan looked at him curiously, “Why?”
“It should be said that it’s not just me; there are many people like me, like Xie Zilu, who grew up in such an environment. They are inherently unable to empathize with ordinary people. It seems to be something innate and deeply ingrained.”
Xiao Shengjing tried to recall, “The most memorable incident for me was when the school chairman’s wife came. She was holding a dog, a very precious breed. The dog mischievously ran to the balcony and fell. The leash hung from the window downstairs. She actually had her own driver climb onto the unprotected platform to retrieve the dog.”
“I remember it was the 9th floor, a frightening height, but nobody thought it was wrong. There were even small children below, saying the driver was clumsy and afraid to go over.”
He finished, glancing at Lin Lan to ensure he wasn’t scaring him, “It’s absurd, isn’t it? But what’s even more absurd is that at that time, I didn’t think much of it. It wasn’t until I fell from a staircase once and experienced the pain that I realized how much it hurt. Every time I think back to that scene, I remember the driver trembling all the time. I recall he had two daughters at home…”
Suddenly, Lin Lan felt a chill on his arm. It was the first time he heard Xiao Shengjing talk about his past like this. Silly Dog wouldn’t share anything with him, even keeping his room off-limits.
“Feeling cold?” Xiao Shengjing took off his coat and draped it over Lin Lan. Wrapping himself in the coat, Lin Lan felt better, “So, how did you become the way you are now?”
“Later, I went to Shengyuan for studies, and that’s where I met you.”
“Met me?”
Xiao Shengjing looked at him and smiled briefly. He had never told Lin Lan about this, “Yes, I met you. You might not believe it when I say it. You were playing the promotion match with Xie Zilu and others in the Internet cafe. The referee for the match was a member of our student union, and he had some urgent matter, so I filled in for one game. It happened to be the game where you came out.”
He continued, treating Lin Lan as his alter ego, “At that time, I didn’t know the difference between you and the main personality. I just felt you played the game exceptionally well, with a gleam in your eyes that I hadn’t seen elsewhere. I thought you looked good when you smiled, and it was especially satisfying to see you confront Xie Zilu. I was thinking, who dares to talk to Xie Zilu like this? Do they not value their life?”
Lin Lan’s memories were pulled back to that day of his transition.
He sat across from Xie Zilu, aggressively diving into his heart with Akali, returning the word “useless” to him fiercely.
In the peripheral vision, it seemed like there was indeed a figure sitting there, emanating a cool and composed presence, holding a notebook, silently looking up at the scene, completely out of place in this absurd world.
So, Xiao Shengjing was also present in that match, right?
No wonder he said such harsh words to Xie Zilu, and Xiao Shengjing didn’t react on the spot. It turns out he had some reservations.
Lin Lan hadn’t expected that to be his true first encounter with the captain! His gaze toward Xiao Shengjing suddenly changed.
Xiao Shengjing continued to reminisce, “I admired you quite a bit back then—bold in both actions and words, neat and clean, exceptionally dazzling. But later on, I never saw that radiance on you again. I felt regretful about it. So every time I saw you being bullied, I couldn’t help but step in to help. That should be the first time I felt the impact of campus violence on a person. Since then, every time I saw someone being bullied, I couldn’t help but step in to help…”
“As it progressed, it wasn’t just towards classmates but also others. The first time I came to DT and saw the eyes of those teammates, I could feel they really wanted me to stay. In the past, I definitely wouldn’t have stayed, but for some reason, seeing them made me think of you…”
So Xiao Shengjing’s empathy began with him and gradually distanced himself from his original environment, blending into the ordinary crowd, and turning into the person he was now.
Lin Lan finally understood why the captain was different from Silly Dog, it was because of himself…
His heart thumped irregularly, with a complex emotion he couldn’t express. Looking at the person beside him again, his feelings toward him underwent a subtle change.
Just as Lin Lan was about to say something to him, Xiao Shengjing spotted a stall selling candied haws and asked, “Do you want some candied haws?”
Seeing the food, Lin Lan’s immediate reaction was, “Yes.”
Taking a bite of the candied haws, the sweet and tangy flavors danced on his tongue. Finally recalling what he wanted to say, he looked up at Xiao Shengjing again, “Captain, I actually…”
Xiao Shengjing noticed his coat wasn’t properly worn and tugged at it, “What’s wrong with you?”
Lin Lan initially wanted to tell him that he wasn’t “Lin Lan,” but then he thought of something, and his chest suddenly felt blocked, “When did you start liking me?”
Xiao Shengjing pondered for a moment. He thought it might have been the first time they met, but that initial attraction was too brief. The real beginning was probably, “When you came back from the hospital. At that time, I felt you had changed a lot, like a cat who hadn’t fully woken up, eager to tease yet afraid of getting scratched, heh…” He chuckled.
So the captain liked him, not the original host. Just like Silly Dog, they both liked the radiant Lin Lan.
Lin Lan felt his emotions becoming complicated again. Biting into the candied haws, he was torn, “Then you…”
“I know what you want to ask.” Xiao Shengjing paused, gripping his face, forcing him to look at him, “I like the present you, Lin Lan. I am well aware that you and him are completely different people, even though this situation is quite mysterious. I just know. So, I’m worried that once you retrieve your memories, you might disappear. Actually, from the moment you appeared, I did feel a spark, but that feeling didn’t return until you came back from the hospital. My feelings for you became more complex from then on…”
Silly Dog was the same; he fell for him at first sight.
Lin Lan always felt that overly intense feelings came and went quickly. He believed that slower was better, so he never accepted the idea of love at first sight.
However, after five years, his affection became stronger, showing no signs of fading. Would the captain be the same as him?
Biting into the candied haws, the sourness of hawthorn made his teeth ache. Unsure of what to say, Lin Lan uttered, “Captain, I’m slow to warm up1I think it means that Lin Lan is slow at falling in love..”
Xiao Shengjing nodded, “I know. I am too.”
Lin Lan widened his eyes, looking at him incredulously. Love at first sight and slow to warm up? How fast could it be for someone who claims to be slow?
Xiao Shengjing coughed and turned his face away, “Don’t look at me.”
“Captain, I find that you have a thick skin.”
“No insulting the captain allowed.”
“?”
This reminded Lin Lan of the incident where Xiao Shengjing deducted money from him. “You fell in love with me at first sight, and yet you deducted my money? Xiao Shengjing, you’re too ruthless.”
How is this any different from elementary school kids bullying their crush?
Xiao Shengjing admitted that he lacked experience in matters of love and could sometimes be as naive as an elementary school student.
He coughed, attempting to ease the awkwardness. “Is the candied hawthorn tasty?”
“Tasty,” Lin Lan handed him the last piece, “Try it.”
Xiao Shengjing’s outstretched hand hesitated in midair. The hawthorn wrapped in translucent sugar looked like a beautiful candy.
Behind the candy were Lin Lan’s rounded narrow eyes, like two gemstones, wide open, looking at him. Another piece was continuously offered in front of him, “Captain, try it.”
Xiao Shengjing felt his heart beating faster. He took a bite, and the sweet and sour explosion was a flavor he had never experienced before.
Just like Lin Lan, always beyond his expectations.
Translator’s corner:
So, are they together now or not?
