Lin Lan complained to Lu Shi as they walked downstairs, “Xie Zilu is seriously troubled mentally. He believes that anything imperfect should be eliminated, even himself. That’s why he acts so crazily.”
Lu Shi’s expression turned strange after hearing this. The look in his eyes was no different from when he looked at Xie Zilu.
Lin Lan suddenly recalled that Lu Shi also saw him as mentally ill, just like Xie Zilu.
Angrily, Lin Lan slapped Lu Shi lightly. “Don’t look at me like that. I’m not like him!”
Lu Shi, having been slapped, looked much more obedient.
They continued down the stairs together because the elevator was too crowded. When they reached a corner where no one was around, Lu Shi suddenly grabbed Lin Lan.
“Lin Lan, why aren’t you afraid of Xie Zilu?” This was a question Lu Shi had wanted to ask for a long time. Although he usually acted carefree and indifferent, he was quite clear-headed on important matters. “He used to bully you like that in school, so you should be afraid of him. But just now, you didn’t seem afraid of him at all. It’s really strange.”
Lin Lan had thought about this question before, and he looked at Lu Shi seriously. “Because when people die, they see a lot of different things. In there, I saw another kind of life where I was like an invincible warrior, unstoppable. Someone like Xie Zilu is nothing to me; I could crush him with just one finger. And when I woke up, I became enlightened. So I’m not afraid of him anymore.”
Lu Shi was stunned by his words, unable to process the relationship. “Is it really that miraculous?”
Lin Lan: “Yes, it’s very miraculous. You’ll understand once you’ve died once.”
Lu Shi: “Damn, no no no…”
Lin Lan fooled Lu Shi, having a rough idea of why Xiao Shengjing might be angry.
If even Lu Shi could see it, then Xiao Shengjing definitely could too. He was the person who understood Lin Lan’s experiences the most, having touched another world himself. He probably already realized the truth.
But he refused to admit it, or perhaps he was waiting for Lin Lan to confess on his own.
Lin Lan sighed. It seemed he had to tell him some things.
Despite Coach Zhang’s orders to rest, Lin Lan finished his daily training upon returning to base.
In the afternoon, Lin Lan retrieved a locked notebook from his room. He meticulously read through its contents, recounting his experiences and journey since arriving in this world.
Over the past six months, his memories of his former life had faded, leaving him feeling increasingly connected to this new reality. He began to question the authenticity of his existence, pondering whether it was a dream or an idealized world that he had created for himself.
After finishing reading, Lin Lan had a clear understanding of his desires. He was a person who both dreamed boldly and took courageous action. Now that he had achieved this realization, he would relentlessly pursue his ambitions.
With a firm “snap”, Lin Lan closed his notebook. He bundled himself up in his jacket, got his phone out, and sent a series of messages. Afterward, he took Lu Shi’s electric scooter and departed.
Meanwhile, Xiao Shengjing’s phone buzzed with a message: Captain, let’s talk.
Below was a location—a familiar old base, where everything had started.
Xiao Shengjing received the message while discussing team composition with Brother Mu in the office. He almost immediately stood up upon seeing it. “Brother Mu, I have something very important to attend to.”
Something very important—more important than team composition, more important than winning competitions, more important than anything…
He didn’t know what the truth and consequences of this matter would be. All he knew was that it would impact his entire life.
Without even changing his clothes, Xiao Shengjing quickly put on his jacket and hailed a cab to the old base.
It had been deserted for months, with no signs of human activity. Two out of three motion sensor lights in the hallway were broken, and cobwebs were hanging from the ceiling.
Lin Lan didn’t tell him his exact location. But Xiao Shengjing seemed to be guided by instinct as he kept climbing up. When he reached the top floor, the door was open, just as he had guessed.
Pushing open the heavy iron door, Xiao Shengjing immediately saw Lin Lan sitting on the steps.
Lin Lan had bought a bag of canned beer. He opened one for himself and drank half of it, holding the can casually in his hand. He turned around with a smile, “Captain, you’re here.”
It all seemed too normal as if the calm before the storm had arrived.
Xiao Shengjing didn’t dare to disrupt the calm with loud words, so he just uttered a simple “Hmm.”
He sat down next to Lin Lan. Although they were so close, he didn’t dare to look back at him, feeling like every glance would cost him something.
He opened a can of beer, its bubbles rising within. Despite disliking its taste, he took a sip.
The silence that followed was thick and stifling, threatening to suffocate them.
This is a moment of truth, and also a judgment.
Xiao Shengjing didn’t know where to start, nor did he know when it would end. He only knew that the axe hanging over his head would eventually fall, executing him.
Lin Lan had already finished a bottle, crushing the empty can and tossing it into his pocket.
He always acted on impulse, doing whatever he felt like, unpredictable and without warning. But perhaps that’s how he was meant to be.
“Aren’t you going to ask me anything, Captain?” Lin Lan seemed relaxed, pulling out another bottle from his bag. “If you don’t ask soon, I’ll finish this bottle and leave.”
In the end, Xiao Shengjing looked at him, as if it were a process of getting to know him anew. Every aspect was unfamiliar, yet familiar. Together, they comprised his entire impression of Lin Lan.
“Are you truly Lin Lan?”
Lin Lan nodded, then shook his head. “I am Lin Lan, but not the Lin Lan you knew at school.”
He popped open the bottle of alcohol in his hand, the sound echoing in the quiet atmosphere. Some of the liquid spilled onto his hand, but he didn’t seem to mind. “We share the same name, the same background, the same DNA. The only difference is our experiences. I was the world’s top mid laner there, while he’s just a substitute here.”
Xiao Shengjing’s suspicions were all confirmed. He unconsciously clenched the can in his hand, squeezing the alcohol out, which flowed onto the back of his hand where the veins were bulging.
He was someone who paid close attention to details. But at this moment, he only cared about one thing: “How did you come here then?”
“The Lin Lan in this world committed suicide, and coincidentally, I had a car accident in that world. Due to the disruption of the magnetic field, my consciousness ended up in this world.”
This also perfectly explains why Lin Lan’s temperament changed drastically after dying once and why his skills improved so much. Improvements in skills could be attributed to him hiding his true abilities. But his experience in matches, understanding of game versions, and proficiency with heroes—those were things that couldn’t simply appear out of thin air…
His fingers continued to exert pressure, severely deforming the can.
The alcohol kept dripping faster and faster from the bottle.
In that instant, Xiao Shengjing thought of ten thousand reasons to refute, to prove that Lin Lan was just joking. But he found himself unable to prove anything.
He had realized something was off long before Lin Lan switched to the top lane. That wasn’t the skill level a newcomer should have. The level of proficiency he possessed couldn’t possibly be achieved in just a few months of learning. It was just Xiao Shengjing subconsciously deceiving himself, convincing himself to believe. Now, even the reasons for self-deception were gone.
Xiao Shengjing: “The world I touched in my dream was your original world, right?”
Lin Lan: “Yes.”
Xiao Shengjing: “You’re two different people?”
“Yes,” Lin Lan told him, “Actually, I didn’t lie to you. The relationship between me and the original host is like the main personality and the alter personality. We have completely different lives, two entirely different people. You can think of me as the alter personality. The main personality died, so I came from my world to his world. Thinking about it this way, it’s essentially the same.”
Upon hearing this, Xiao Shengjing’s mindset collapsed. He buried his head low, stubbornly shaking it. “Not the same.”
How could it be the same? The alter personality was trapped in this body. He could only exist here, while Lin Lan had a choice. He could choose to stay or he could choose to go back.
This body, this world, including everyone here, couldn’t keep him.
Memories of everything that happened in that world kept flooding back. Lin Lan may have suffered from online harassment there, but he also reached heights that he could never reach here in his lifetime. He was the best mid-laner in the world, the king of duels. He was in the most famous team, with the best four teammates. He was admired by millions. He represented the pinnacle of esports, a lifetime of glory, overseeing all the changes…
And in this world, he had nothing.
Dragging along an immature team and immature teammates, every game was exceptionally difficult…
Lin Lan only ended up in this world by accident, it wasn’t his intention. When he got tired of playing, when he found a way, he was supposed to go back.
Anxiety enveloped Xiao Shengjing. He got the answer he suspected, but it was the worst one.
After Lin Lan finished speaking, he waited for Xiao Shengjing to ask questions. But after waiting for a long time and not hearing anything, he turned to look at him in confusion. “Aren’t you going to ask anything?”
Xiao Shengjing shook his head. He didn’t dare to ask anymore. “I don’t know what to ask.”
Suddenly, he seemed very dejected, weariness evident in his eyes. This demeanor overlapped completely with that silly dog from the other world.
They shared the same genes, their affections ran deep. But the team captain in this world seemed more reserved. Until today, Lin Lan hadn’t even realized how much he cared about him.
Just like that silly dog from the other world.
Lin Lan suddenly couldn’t bear to continue. He felt it was unnecessary. Which was better, a long explanation or a short one? He couldn’t make the choice for Xiao Shengjing.
He finished the beer in his hand, tossed the can into the bag, and stood up. “Let’s go back.”
He turned around, but his clothes were tightly grasped by someone.
It was Xiao Shengjing.
He held onto Lin Lan’s clothes, not asking, not letting him go either.
With red eyes, stubbornly keeping his head down, he didn’t want to expose his emotions. But his actions betrayed his emotions.
“Lin Lan, are you going to leave?”
The wind blew Lin Lan’s hair as it passed between them. They were separated by a world. Even if they tried their hardest, it was just wishful thinking.
Lin Lan didn’t hide anything, telling him the whole truth: “Both worlds are controlled by the magnetic field. Disturbing the magnetic field will cause a temporal and spatial crossover. When a person’s consciousness reaches a certain level, it can change the magnetic field. So every time the original host needs me, I travel to this world to become him, to help him. When the ordeal is over and the original host’s will no longer exists, I return to the original world, including this time.”
It took Xiao Shengjing a while to understand. He looked up at Lin Lan and asked in a hoarse voice, “Then what is his will this time?”
“He didn’t commit suicide; he died unjustly. If I’m not mistaken, his will should be for me to find out the truth about his death. Once the truth is found, I will leave here.”
So Lin Lan was determined to regain his memory, determined to find the truth. Only then could he return to his original world.
He had always planned like this. After obtaining the DT shares, his first reaction was to cultivate a successor for himself. He even wrote the agreement for the return of the shares after his death. He had long been prepared to go back.
But what did he leave behind in this world? What did he mean to himself?
Things were a hundred times worse than he imagined. The result that Xiao Shengjing could never change no matter how hard he tried. There was nothing more desperate than this.
The atmosphere fell into a deathly silence again, only the sound of Lin Lan squeezing the beer cans.
Xiao Shengjing in this world was reserved in character, never forcing others. He just tried to accept this result. Even if he couldn’t accept it, he quietly dealt with his emotions.
Learning the truth, Xiao Shengjing remained composed, absorbing Lin Lan’s words without reacting impulsively.
After squeezing the third beer can, Lin Lan was starting to feel a bit warm. He tossed the can aside and spoke candidly: “I am determined to uncover the truth about the original host’s death. Whether I want to go back or not is irrelevant. I am simply helping the original host clear his name. In the end, regardless of the outcome, I accept it as my own choice. There are several possibilities: the original host’s consciousness may vanish and I may return, or I may remain in this world. Or there could be an unforeseen outcome…”
At this point, Xiao Shengjing suddenly raised his head. “Is there a possibility that you will stay?”
“I don’t know. I don’t know how it will turn out.” So when Xiao Shengjing asked him if he accepted his feelings, Lin Lan could only ask him: Can we try even if there’s no outcome?
Xiao Shengjing suddenly realized that Lin Lan’s focus had always been on finding the truth of the matter, not whether he could go home or not. There was a fundamental difference between the two.
He seemed to grasp a glimmer of hope and hurriedly asked, “What if you can’t go back?”
Lin Lan: “Then I’ll stay. I quite like DT.”
Xiao Shengjing: “You like DT?”
“Yeah. I like this team, I like the teammates here, and I like this world.” Lin Lan looked at him calmly, his thoughts as clear as the sky, free from any constraints. He had no hidden agenda, expressing his innermost thoughts with sincerity: “Even the captain of the team, I prefer the one in this world.”
In the stillness of Xiao Shengjing’s heart, a sudden surge of emotion stirred like a ripple caused by a single water droplet in a desolate riverbed.
This burst of vitality awakened him to the realization of his error. He had neglected to inquire about Lin Lan’s personal preferences, yet had presumptuously concluded on his behalf.
Lin Lan was an enigmatic character who defied conventional norms and lived unpredictably.
Xiao Shengjing hesitated as he asked: “Do you like me?”
Lin Lan remained evasive, opting to open another beverage. Seated on the steps, he gazed at the pristine sky, its vastness mirroring his own freedom from constraints.
He sighed, “The sky is so blue.” Then he suddenly turned back to the previous topic, “So, do we still try even if there’s no outcome?”
That day, he and Xiao Shengjing looked at the same moon.
Today, they sat under the same sky.
There were no two worlds, no barriers of time and space. For Lin Lan, his attitude had been consistent from beginning to end.
That is, to follow his heart.
He was a slow burner, unsure of the outcome. But if he wanted to try, he would try. He wasn’t burdened with as many concerns as others.
Xiao Shengjing’s heart pounded. Amidst a pile of worst-case scenarios, Lin Lan gave him the most unexpected answer.
Xiao Shengjing almost blurted out a “yes” but stopped himself.
Lin Lan’s hair fluttered in the wind, and he smiled charmingly. His ethereal beauty was both delicate and captivating.
Lin Lan stood up, his movements uncharacteristically bold. He reached out to Xiao Shengjing and said, “Let’s give it a shot.”
To engage in a love affair with no foreseeable outcome.
To live a life undefined by conventions.
Xiao Shengjing admitted that at that moment, Lin Lan truly ensnared him. Despite knowing there would be no resolution, he still rushed forward like a moth to a flame.
In the wind, he embraced Lin Lan tightly, holding him close with all his might.
To die with honor, to march towards death.
No matter what the outcome, he wouldn’t regret it.
His feelings for Lin Lan were probably like this: he was willing to be the soil, and Lin Lan was the seed. He held him tightly in his embrace not to devour or melt him, but to allow him to be reborn within his own body.
Xiao Shengjing: “Lin Lan, I like you.”
Lin Lan: “Mm.”
Xiao Shengjing: “I really, really like you.”
Lin Lan: “I know.”
The sound of their heartbeats was loud and unmistakable, impossible to conceal. Lin Lan felt that he probably liked him too.
It was yesterday, when Xiao Shengjing’s body was invaded by the Xiao Shengjing from another world, and when he disregarded everything to return and warn the other side.
At that moment, he realized that he liked the person in front of him.
The words that needed to be said had already been spoken in the wind. Lin Lan didn’t like being sentimental. They both sat back on the steps and continued drinking. Xiao Shengjing drank a bit too much.
He was a reserved person, not one for unnecessary words. He simply held Lin Lan’s hand tightly in his, occasionally squeezing it or looking at it. That was the extent of his emotions.
Lin Lan found it annoying and tried to pull his hand away. Xiao Shengjing instinctively tightened his grip to keep him from leaving, but then let go as if he had just realized something.
This was different from what Lin Lan had imagined. He picked up his drink and joked, “I thought you’d become all lovey-dovey after getting into a relationship.”
Xiao Shengjing was indeed that kind of person. He coughed to cover his embarrassment, “You said you didn’t like that. I also said I wouldn’t do anything you didn’t like.”
Lin Lan was a bit drunk. Half-leaning on the steps, he looked at Xiao Shengjing with a hazy gaze, “So you won’t do anything if I say I don’t like it?”
Xiao Shengjing: “Mm.”
Lin Lan: “What if it’s a matter of principle?”
Xiao Shengjing: “What kind?”
Lin Lan: “For example team shares and decisions on player retention. If we have disagreements on those matters and can’t persuade each other.”
Xiao Shengjing actually pondered this question carefully. He believed, “We shouldn’t have disagreements. From what I can see, our thoughts are very much aligned. I can’t find any points of contention. Even if we do have disagreements someday, it’s okay if you win every time, and it’s not necessary to argue every time…”
Lin Lan looked at him intently, as if seeing him in a new light, then suddenly burst into laughter.
Xiao Shengjing’s immediate reaction was: “What’s wrong? Did I say something wrong?”
Lin Lan quickly shook his head.
Xiao Shengjing pressed for an answer, but Lin Lan shook his head without giving a reason. In the end, all he did was smile at him, a smile that made Xiao Shengjing feel both flustered and trembled.
Xiao Shengjing couldn’t understand Lin Lan’s motives or personality. Despite his unpredictable nature, Lin Lan was surprisingly candid at times.
As the night progressed and the wind intensified on the rooftop, Xiao Shengjing worried that Lin Lan might catch a cold. He finished the remaining alcohol in a few sips and stood up. “Let’s go. It’s too windy here. Let’s head back.”
Lin Lan also felt the wind picking up and stood up to walk with him. “Did you come here by cab?”
Xiao Shengjing: “Yeah, what about you?”
Lin Lan: “I rode Lu Shi’s electric bike here.”
Xiao Shengjing: “You crashed last time, and you still dare to ride?”
Lin Lan: “It wasn’t my fault last time, someone was going the wrong way…” Lin Lan hurriedly explained, trying to prove himself. “My skills are definitely not a problem. Watch me take you back. Hop on.”
Xiao Shengjing didn’t hesitate and got on. He even put on the helmet that he usually disdainfully refused to wear. It was strange; after they started dating, both of their moods seemed to become more relaxed.
It felt like everything looked better, and everything became particularly harmonious, even the biting wind carried a sense of unwavering romance.
Xiao Shengjing couldn’t help but lean forward a bit, catching a faint scent of bergamot. He sniffed again, then leaned closer for a deeper inhale.
Lin Lan noticed his actions and teased: “Are you a dog? You keep sniffing.”
Undeterred, Xiao Shengjing shrugged as if accepting the playful scolding and boldly wrapped his arms around Lin Lan in an embrace.
Lin Lan was twisting the throttle when suddenly being hugged caught him off guard, causing him to lurch forward. He quickly squeezed the brakes, almost falling to the ground.
Fortunately, Xiao Shengjing’s long legs kept him steady. He released his hold on Lin Lan and passed through his waist to grab the handlebars of the electric bike. Leaning closer, he said in Lin Lan’s ear, “Let me drive. I think your driving skills are not up to par.”
In an instant, the roles between the two changed drastically. Originally, Lin Lan was supposed to take him back, but in a flash, it became Xiao Shengjing taking him back, just like a child sitting in front.
Lin Lan: ??
He tried to lean back to regain control, causing the electric bike to tilt again. Xiao Shengjing balanced it with one hand while holding onto Lin Lan with the other, preventing him from moving around.
Lin Lan protested, but Xiao Shengjing told him sternly, “Don’t move. If we fall, it will be big news. Two famous esports players were injured in a late-night bike accident. The team withdrew from the finals, and the electric bike got a Double Kill…”
Lin Lan couldn’t help but laugh at Xiao Shengjing’s joke. The more he thought about it, the funnier it became until he couldn’t contain his laughter and let out a goose-like sound.
It was the first time Lin Lan realized that Xiao Shengjing also had a talent for humor, forgetting to fight for control of the electric bike.
He laughed, and Xiao Shengjing laughed along with him.
Sometimes happiness is just that simple.
Although they couldn’t see each other’s faces, they both knew the other was happy, and nothing else seemed to matter as much.
Who cares about the outcome, as long as they’re happy.
