A family of four had dinner not in a large restaurant as they would when hosting guests, but in a smaller, cozier restaurant.
The table was filled with dishes that the children loved to eat. Xie Man hardly ate herself; she spent the meal using public chopsticks to pick up food for her two sons, as if she could turn all the longing of these days into food for her children.
Edmond watched her chopsticks moving up and down and realized he had no portion of his own food. Finally, unable to bear it, he pushed his own bowl toward Xie Man, signaling that she should take some food for him.
Xie Man couldn’t help but smile wryly at him, saying, “Are you going to compete with the children?”
Edmond replied, “I’m just claiming my rightful share.”
Xie Man had no choice but to pick some food for him too, and Edmond looked somewhat satisfied with the outcome.
Chi Feiran exchanged a glance with Chris, probably conveying the meaning of “here they go again,” a look shared by both of them. Then they both laughed.
Seeing this, Edmond cleared his throat and said jokingly, “Don’t make fun of your old father, or when you have children of your own, I’ll laugh at you like crazy.”
It was an incredibly childish remark, and everyone at the table laughed. Xie Man felt a bit helpless, feeling like she was taking care of three children, and said, “Just eat your food!”
The three gentlemen obeyed the queen’s orders and demonstrated what it meant to “just eat your food” with their actions, quickly finishing almost all the dishes on the table.
After dinner, the family didn’t disperse to their respective rooms; they stayed together, chatting about trivial matters.
Chi Feiran couldn’t find a way to join the conversation, mainly because the atmosphere was so good that he didn’t want to spoil it.
His uneasiness amplified because of the warm atmosphere at home. He felt like a traitor; his mother probably wouldn’t like him being too close to his father, would she? And mentioning his father in front of Edmond, he must feel uncomfortable…
Seeing his younger son’s mood drop, Edmond cleared his throat again, hinting that Xie Man should say something.
Xie Man knew exactly what her son was thinking, but untying the knot in her heart that had been there for so many years was not so easy.
But if she didn’t compromise, her son would be the one to feel sad. She had no choice but to make a decision, even if it wasn’t what she wanted.
She took a deep breath and finally spoke softly, “Feiran, do you like your father?”
Chi Feiran felt a sense of guilt as if he had been caught doing something wrong, but facing Xie Man’s gaze, he eventually nodded and said, “Yes, I do.”
Xie Man couldn’t help feeling a pang of bitterness, but she forced herself to smile and said, “That’s good.”
Blinking back the moisture in her eyes, she continued, speaking slowly, “I didn’t tell you when you were younger, but I hope it’s not too late to say now…”
She said, “In any case, he’s your father, and you have the right to like him. Don’t feel guilty, Feiran. You have nothing to feel guilty about. It’s me who should apologize.”
Chris stood up, as if he wanted to leave, but Xie Man motioned for him to stay. “You can stay and listen,” she said.
Looking at Chi Feiran, Xie Man felt like time had passed so quickly. That little, soft child seemed like he was in her arms just yesterday.
Carefully choosing her words, Xie Man spoke softly, “What I did wrong over the years was not letting you and your father meet.”
She looked at his somewhat pale face, and though her own beautiful face flashed with a hint of fragility, she ultimately said, “But I don’t regret it.”
Perhaps in her son’s eyes, Chi Jun was a perfect father, but for her, everything in China was like a nightmare.
She had once loved this man deeply, but the depth of her initial love had turned into intense hatred later.
If all he wanted from the beginning was a lady from a prestigious family, then why did he insist on marrying her?
All those years she had tried to learn everything, but it was all in vain. It was wrong from the start, and no matter how hard she tried, it was all in vain.
The purpose of her existence was gradually erased by that marriage.
The countless times of being ridiculed and denied by the mother-in-law, the impatient indifference from the husband seemed to be right in front of her, no matter how long ago it was, recalling it made her feel a shiver in her heart.
Yes, they were mother and son, and she was an outsider; they were indeed not well-matched, and she couldn’t measure up to their standards.
The hollow love was eventually worn away, and the discarded self-respect should be reclaimed. She didn’t want anything, she just wanted her son.
But it had come to that point. Mrs. Chi still thought she was joking, even went behind her back to conduct a paternity test with her son. Whenever she thought of these things, Xie Man felt endless humiliation.
That lofty face was simply the nightmare that Xie Man couldn’t shake off over the years.
What did Chi Jun say at that time?
Xie Man couldn’t really remember anymore, probably just some “that’s my mom” and “bear with it” kind of words.
She endured for five whole years, only to receive increasingly perfunctory responses from her husband.
Later, they finally divorced. If everything had ended there, Xie Man would at least have appreciated Chi Jun, thanked him for finally being willing to let go, willing to give her custody of their son.
But what happened next?
When they first arrived abroad, she didn’t have much savings, so for long-term planning, they could only rent in a very ordinary community.
Chi Jun and his mother visited time and time again, which was their right; they had the right to see Feiran.
Xie Man didn’t have any relatives, so she attached great importance to this matter. It was precisely because of this that she never mentioned anything about the Chi family over the years. At that time, she never thought of preventing them from meeting. She didn’t have that right, and she didn’t want her son to have regrets.
But the longer it went on, the greater Xie Man’s sense of crisis became. She realized that even in a foreign country, it would be effortless for the Chi family to take her son away. A victory in court meant nothing. As long as the Chi family wanted, everything she had would collapse.
Especially seeing Mrs. Chi becoming increasingly fond of Feiran, and after repeatedly saying that the environment here was not good, her fear reached its peak.
It just so happened that at this time, she met Edmond, who also showed interest in her.
It felt like a piece of driftwood appearing in front of a drowning person. In any case, she would hold on firmly.
Xie Man’s tone was very calm, as if she was forcing herself not to show any emotional colors. “At first, the reason I wanted to be with Edmond was simple. I had nothing, and keeping you was too difficult.”
If possible, she hoped to never say these words to her son.
Chi Feiran looked at her with some astonishment, then turned to Edmond, afraid that his mother’s words would hurt him.
Edmond’s expression changed subtly for a moment, muttering quietly, “Although it’s in the past tense, saying it like this, I lose face…”
Xie Man didn’t respond to him but continued, “I also thought about it. It would be better if you stayed with the Chi family.”
Having seen such extravagant wealth, how could she not know that staying in that family would definitely not be unfair to her son, at least materially.
But this child was flesh and blood from her body. He was her only blood relative in the world. How could she bear to let go?
Or stay in a place where she was despised from head to toe.
Why did Mrs. Chi look down on her so much? Just because she wasn’t a suitable daughter-in-law in her eyes?
What should she do when the new daughter-in-law entered the door? What would happen to Feiran when Mrs. Chi had a child she was satisfied with?
She was an orphan, and she had been adopted when she was a child, but in the end, she was returned because the family unexpectedly had a child of their own. So she knew too well what it felt like to have something and then lose it.
Xie Man thought about Chi Jun never remarrying to this day; she didn’t feel moved. She just felt ironic.
If he had such determination from the beginning, then where was he during those years of torment she endured?
Oh, he was busy, he was busy every day.
Xie Man couldn’t help but press her lips tightly together, her face pale and bloodless. “I thought that with the Bonnet family, I could give you the best of everything, and they would trust me to keep you by my side.”
But she was too naive. Mrs. Chi’s actions completely exceeded her imagination. How could she say such things to a child? Was this the upbringing and demeanor of a prestigious family?
The precious bond between Chi Jun and his mother was being destroyed, and her relationship with her son was being torn apart?
Regardless of what they said to her, she was an adult. She had her own judgment, good or bad, she would bear it herself. But what about her child?
Children grew up according to how adults taught them. After hearing those words too many times, what kind of person would her Feiran become in the future?
Xie Man couldn’t bear to think that her son might become the second Mrs. Chi or even the second Chi Jun. She was almost going crazy; all her resentment erupted at that moment.
Despising her from the bottom of their hearts but still wanting her son? Dream on! She didn’t even want to think about it!
Xie Man’s voice couldn’t be suppressed, trembling slightly. “So although I’m sorry, I don’t regret it.”
No matter how many times she had the chance to choose, she would still do the same.
Chi Feiran stood up, walked over, and gave her a tight hug. “I understand.”
Xie Man leaned her face against her son’s shoulder. “I just… wanted to give you a home…”
Feiran felt his shoulder wet with tears, his voice soft. “I know, I don’t blame you. It’s all in the past.”
Edmond reached out and hugged them both, then turned to look at the eldest son who had been sitting beside them the whole time, reaching out his hand and pulling him into the embrace, putting his arm around his shoulder.
“We’re a family, no matter what,” Edmond said.
Even though it was pieced together, what mattered was that their hearts were together, wasn’t it?
Seeing them hugging each other, Caesar, who was sleeping on the side, came over, meowing to join in.
Chris also hugged him and said, “Yeah, a family of five.”
