Every time I touched Zeph, I couldn’t help but wonder how many more times I’d be allowed to do so.
Once the final three purifications were complete, and once the Demon King was defeated, I wouldn’t need the kago (blessing) anymore. When that time came, even something as simple as a kiss would become difficult.
He had granted me permission to hold him just once without the excuse of the kago. Afterward, we continued to connect, but only because I needed his blessing.
But I never thought it would last forever.
Zeph would never feel the same way I do.
Even so, he granted my wish, giving me not only his kago but also his body.
Even if it was just for a short time, he let me dream.
It’s heartbreaking to think that this dream will come to an end, and I can’t help but wish that it never would.
But as long as I could stay by Zeph’s side, I thought that would be enough for me.
And yet… all I wished for was just that…
As I cut through the wave of monsters with my holy sword, I cast spells at the few that slipped through.
The dark forest wrapped in kegare (corruption) felt like it was clinging to me.
But the person who was always beside me was no longer there.
Even if I let some monsters slip by, no arrows flew from behind to cover me.
If only I had moved faster back then.
If only I hadn’t allowed myself to be caught by the Demon King.
If only I had realized what Zeph was doing.
Whenever someone was in danger, Zeph would always throw himself in front to protect them.
I knew that all too well from that first ceremony, when he shielded me—yet I failed to learn.
With my holy sword stained in foul blood, I continued to slaughter the monsters.
I was carrying out Zeph’s wish—to purify this land.
I was entrusted with a duty—to protect the fortress, the kingdom, and the people from the oncoming hordes of monsters.
So I repeated the killing over and over again, as if trying to strike down my own helplessness, to cut away the unbearable anxiety gnawing at me.
––What if I really lose Zeph like this?
I desperately swung my sword to rid myself of that terrible thought whenever I started to falter.
Without the Demon King or the nushi (beasts) present, there was nothing in the forest that could pose a threat to a hero like me.
Still, the endless waves of monsters took time to deal with, and by the time I had purified the three cores and returned to the fortress, the sky had already begun to brighten.
There were corpses of monsters scattered across the plains in front of the fortress.
Despite the number I had already cut down, it seemed a massive horde had still managed to push through.
The countless bodies of monsters lay across the ground, staining the earth black with their kegare.
––Did they kill all these with the sacred arrows? Limiting the path of the monsters must’ve helped.
From what I could see, there were no human casualties.
The bodies of the monsters were covered in arrow wounds, though the arrows themselves were nowhere to be found—likely collected for reuse. I had given them basic instructions before I left, but it seemed like Dirk or Kahim had refined those further in my absence.
There was no sign of damage to the fortress itself, only an eerie silence, as if the monster stampede had never happened.
Zeph had offered magitech to the sacred tree in the forest, calling it a precaution.
At the time, I thought it was just to weaken the enemy’s power, but now I see it must’ve been part of his plan.
As I looked back at the forest, I could see the sacred tree’s branches poking out from where they had been driven into the ground.
By purifying small areas throughout the forest, he’d managed to limit the path the monsters could take.
He had created an enormous number of arrows that could take down a monster with a single hit and supplied the fortress with them.
…Just how far ahead had Zeph planned all this?
“Hero-sama! The Hero-sama is back!”
Cheers erupted from the soldiers standing watch, but I didn’t deserve their praise.
The one who truly deserved it… might never wake up again.
The thought made my legs weak, and I dragged my exhausted body back to the room, the jubilant voices of the soldiers who had survived the first wave grating on my ears.
I was terrified to open the door.
The blessing Zeph gave me was still there, so I knew he was alive.
I understood that in my head, but the bad feeling in my chest wouldn’t go away.
What if his condition had worsened?
What if he never woke up?
The Demon King and monsters didn’t scare me—but the thought of losing Zeph filled me with an overwhelming fear.
I spent far longer than I should have just standing in front of the door, unable to open it. But finally, I forced myself inside.
––He’s alive.
His breaths were faint and fragile, as if they might disappear at any moment, but he was still breathing.
Understanding that in my mind and actually seeing it were two completely different things.
His face was calm, like he was just sleeping.
I couldn’t help but stare at him, waiting for his eyelids to flutter open at any moment. Then Dirk told me the doctor had finished their examination.
Apparently, the doctor I had requested—someone skilled in light magic who could examine Zeph without touching the arrow—had been stationed at the fortress by pure chance.
They arrived immediately and performed a thorough examination, but the results were far from encouraging.
“The arrow pierced his heart with deadly precision. If it’s removed or shifted even slightly, his life will be over in an instant. The fact that he’s alive right now is nothing short of a miracle,” Dirk reported grimly.
“And treatment?”
“There’s no magic in this world that can heal a heart, the source of a person’s life force. I asked about using the healing elixirs, but given how malevolent the arrow’s magic is, the doctor wasn’t sure what would happen.”
“…I see.”
I closed my eyes, clenching my fists so tightly that my nails dug into my palms.
…I had known this, deep down.
We had been traveling for a long time, and Zeph had grown incredibly strong.
His defenses were nearly impenetrable, his attacks powerful enough to take down monsters with ease.
I had seen him and thought, If only he had this power back during that first ceremony.
With the strength he had now, Zeph didn’t need to shield me with his body. He could’ve just repelled the arrows with his holy power.
––But Zeph had chosen to shield me anyway.
At the start of our battle with the Demon King, he had easily deflected the first arrow with a flick of his hand. But for that one, he had thrown himself in front to protect me.
Which means, of course, that it was an attack he couldn’t have stopped any other way.
If Zeph believed that was the only way, then the Demon King’s strike was anything but ordinary.
And the wound it left behind was not something easily healed… unless by another saint, like Zeph.
“When will the next saint arrive?” I asked.
“It’s a ten-day ride to Rittner Village if the horse runs nonstop. Since the return trip will be by carriage, it’ll take even longer—at least a month.”
“I see.”
“You should probably cleanse yourself of the kegare first… Who knows what kind of harm it might do?”
Dirk’s words snapped me back to reality, and I immediately stepped away from Zeph.
Kegare weakens a saint’s power.
Even worse, it could infect his wound. I couldn’t stay by his side like this.
In a rush, I cleansed my body of kegare and purified my sword. When I returned to the room, Dirk had set up a makeshift bed next to Zeph’s.
I nodded in thanks to Dirk, appreciating his quiet thoughtfulness, and sat on the bed to gaze at Zeph.
His dark brown hair was like the trunk of the sacred tree.
His eyes, now hidden behind closed lids, were the same deep color.
That warm, gentle gaze of his was still burned into my memory.
When I touched his fingers, they were warm, and a wave of relief washed over me.
He was still alive.
I could still stay by his side.
“I’ve arranged for the shadows to take over your guard duty, so get some rest. You look awful,” Dirk said.
“Yeah,” I muttered back, lying down on the makeshift bed.
I intertwined my fingers with his, but there was no response.
He didn’t twitch like usual, nor did he squeeze back in that comforting, familiar way.
But just the warmth of his hand was enough to ease my anxiety, and I closed my eyes to rest.
Though I hadn’t felt tired at all, it seemed my exhaustion had caught up with me, and before I knew it, I had drifted into a deep, heavy sleep.
