I never had a father, but I never really questioned it.
We lived in the most cluttered part of the slums in the capital. Since our house bordered the slums, there were plenty of other kids around who didn’t have parents either.
In that area, having both parents around was rare.
I spent my days helping my mother and playing with the local kids. We’d all gather at the neighborhood church, where the older kids took care of the younger ones, who in turn looked after even younger children. The priest taught us simple letters and magic, and in exchange for helping around the church, we were given bread. Every day, we prayed to God.
I wasn’t sure if it was play, work, or study, but I was happy back then, just living my life.
Things changed six years ago when I turned fifteen.
I underwent an evaluation at the church, and the results were shocking. My magical power was incredibly high. Most commoners have little to no magic, with maybe double digits at most, but mine was almost in the four digits.
Apparently, even among nobles, such numbers were rare, and the evaluator was astonished.
“Forgive me for asking, but are both your parents commoners?”
“My mother is a commoner, but I don’t know about my father.”
“So, you live with just your mother?”
“Yes.”
Looking back now, I realize that this conversation marked the turning point in my fate.
A fifteen-year-old girl with abnormal magical power, and no one to protect her.
I must have seemed like the perfect target for exploitation.
Not long after that, a woman named Helena appeared in the slums.
She had come to the royal capital to seek treatment for her husband, who was sick, but the cost was too high, and he passed away.
She was devastated, and my kind-hearted mother quickly befriended her. They began visiting each other’s homes often, sharing meals, and when I started working, the two of them would have meals together when I was out.
I was glad my mother had found a good friend.
But that winter, when I was eighteen, my mother fell ill.
I can’t even begin to express how grateful I was to Helena at that time.
She immediately contacted a healer she knew and even helped with the expensive medicine.
When I was out working, she took care of my mother, and my mother, who was wasting away, enjoyed their conversations.
Helena was also the one who introduced us to a noble who was researching diseases. She said this noble was looking for someone to help with his work and encouraged me to meet him.
“A healer I trust introduced me to him… I wish I had known him when my husband was ill. But with your mother, it might not be too late,” she had said, smiling sadly.
By then, I trusted Helena completely, so I jumped at the opportunity.
—I had no idea that she had been poisoning my mother the entire time.
When I first met the noble, he was surprisingly kind. I had always imagined nobles as being arrogant and scary, but it turns out there were kind ones too. I was relieved.
He told me not to worry about the work yet, saying there was still time, and suggested we focus on my mother’s health first. He even sent a carriage to fetch her.
When my mother and I moved into the noble’s residence, he used many expensive medicines, saying he wanted to test their effects.
He told me I only needed to study etiquette and magic, and in the meantime, I could focus on caring for my mother. The actual work could wait until preparations were complete.
I didn’t see Helena much anymore, even when I went back to clean the house. But my mother was gradually getting better, so I felt grateful for everything that had happened.
That is, until about a month ago.
“I wish I could’ve given you two more time, but things have changed. Will you help me as we agreed?”
The noble smiled at me as he said this, and of course, I nodded eagerly.
I didn’t know what kind of difficult task awaited me, but I was ready to do anything within my power. My magic, which had grown strong enough to reach the four digits through training, was his to use however he wanted.
I was such a fool. It must have been easy for the noble to manipulate me.
“I want you to become the Saint,” he said with a smile, then calmly explained his terrifying plan.
He had been planning to wait for the current Saint-sama to pass away and then make me into the new Saint. The forged evaluation papers were already prepared, and he had collaborators within the church.
However, the plan had been disrupted because the real Saint had been found. She would arrive in the capital in about two weeks, so I was to claim the title of Saint before she arrived. I was to say I was twenty-six years old, so as not to raise suspicion for being too young.
In short, those were his instructions.
Naturally, I refused at first.
Impersonating the Saint is a grave sin, a crime against God. I couldn’t do something so horrifying. I begged him to let me forget everything I had heard and to give me another task instead.
The noble, looking bored, rang a bell and summoned Helena.
…Why was Helena here? And why was she dressed as a maid?
Before I could voice my confusion, the noble coldly gave his command.
“Increase the dose of poison. Just enough to keep her alive, but make sure this one stays compliant.”
“P-Poison…?”
“That’s right. I’ve been poisoning your mother all along,” Helena said with a sweet smile, confirming it without hesitation.
I was locked away after that, and when I was finally allowed out again, my mother’s condition had worsened to the point where she could no longer sit up.
“Mother…!”
“Emilia, don’t make that face. Helena has come to visit. I’m sure I’ll get better soon,” my mother said before falling asleep again.
Helena appeared silently as my mother slept, holding two glasses in her hands.
“One contains poison, and the other medicine. Which one you give to your mother depends entirely on your answer,” she said calmly.
Tears welled up in my eyes as I knelt before her.
Even if it meant deceiving the gods, I wanted to save my mother. That was the only thought driving me.
✢
When I entered the inner sanctum of the temple for the first time, there was nothing but a statue illuminated by light.
I knelt before the statue.
Even if the evaluation paper could be forged, there was no way to deceive the eyes of God. I was sure divine punishment awaited me.
So, I prayed only for my mother.
I prayed that, since it was my sin, God would spare my mother.
The noble had said that as long as I went to the temple as the Saint, they wouldn’t do anything bad to her. Even if I failed, as long as I kept quiet, my mother’s life would be safe.
…But now that I was here, I wasn’t foolish enough to believe that completely.
If I failed, my mother’s life might be in danger too.
However, if I were to confess everything immediately after being caught, and begged the Saint-sama to save my mother’s life, the noble could be captured, and my mother might be saved.
That was my only hope now.
“I read the report on what happened. It must have been tough,” the Saint said, her voice calm.
“N-No, no… It’s true that I tried to deceive the gods.”
“Of course you wanted to protect your mother. That’s natural.”
The tears I had been holding back spilled over at the Saint’s gentle words.
The droplets fell onto the cold floor, wetting it. In my lowered gaze, I could see my own hands bound in chains and the Saint’s knees as she sat on the floor without hesitation.
She’s the most noble person in the world, yet she came here just to see me, a criminal. She sat down on the cold, damp floor, and listened to my story.
Why would someone like her do that for me?
“I didn’t mean to make you cry, but… well, you might already know this, but your mother is safe. Thanks to you, Emilia.”
“Th-Thank you…!”
I had been dying to ask, but I was too afraid to hear bad news. I had tried to believe she was okay, but the fear of hearing otherwise had held me back.
Now, as the tears flowed freely, they soaked into the floor. After hesitating for a moment, a large hand reached out and awkwardly patted my head.
It was a gesture you’d make to comfort a crying child, and the warmth from the palm made my eyes burn with even more tears.
The Saint-sama continued to gently stroke my head until I stopped crying.
She must have felt awkward, but she stayed by my side silently until I calmed down.
She’s a kind person.
It’s no wonder she was chosen by God.
I’m sure my mother will be fine.
This person will not hold my sins against my mother. She will watch over her until she recovers.
With that assurance, I had no more regrets.
“All right, Emilia. You meant what you said earlier, didn’t you?” she asked.
“Yes. I’ll accept whatever punishment you see fit.”
“It might be worse than death, you know.”
“I’m prepared for that.”
I know that impersonating the Saint is a crime punishable by death.
I don’t expect to die painlessly.
I believe I deserve to suffer, and suffer, and suffer before dying. That’s how deep my sin is.
Even so, knowing my mother is safe is proof that God is truly merciful.
I looked straight into the Saint’s eyes, ready to accept whatever she said. Her calm brown eyes, the same color as her hair, reminded me of the trunk of the sacred tree.
Those eyes put my heart at ease.
“I see. Well then, in that case, you can take my place as the Saint.”
“Eh…?”
Without thinking, I let out a startled sound at the completely unexpected words.
…Did I mishear something?
