LTJWHPB Chapter 2

07

Young Master: Today you’ll accompany me in sword practice.

Little Tangmen: Why should I?

Young Master, imposingly: You are my prisoner. You must do what I say without question.

Little Tangmen, thinking: Then at least let me wear pants to go outside?

Young Master: Put them on for now. Remember to hand them back after the practice.

Little Tangmen: …I have something to say, but I’m not sure if I should.

Young Master: Go ahead.

Little Tangmen, sincerely: I think you’re sick.

Young Master, calmly: Yes.

Little Tangmen, earnestly: Then you should get treated.

Young Master: No need, it’s more fun this way.

Little Tangmen: …

 

08

Young Master was practising his swordsmanship in the woods, deliberately cutting down a peach tree to create a ‘rain of flowers’ effect with cool and impressive moves.

Standing tall and proud next to the tree stump.

However, Little Tangmen was absent-mindedly looking down.

Young Master, displeased: Why aren’t you watching me?

Little Tangmen: Nothing much to see.

Young Master, even more displeased: Then what are you looking at?

Little Tangmen: My pants.

Young Master: …

Little Tangmen, pouting: We haven’t seen each other for so long, who knows when we’ll meet again.

 

09

Young Master: How did you end up becoming an assassin for the Tang Sect?

Little Tangmen: I had no parents. The Tang Sect took me in when I was young.

Young Master, looking at his face, flirtatiously: Your mother must have been very beautiful.

Little Tangmen, blushing: You…

Young Master, with a charming smile, ready for a kiss.

Little Tangmen, blushing even more: How did you know? Did you know my mother?

Young Master: …

 

10

Unknowingly, Little Tangmen had been in the dungeon for some time.

But the dungeon no longer looked like one.

The young master had ordered to combine ten cells into one and gradually furnished it.

Steward scolding a servant: Be careful, this carved mahogany bed was specially ordered by the Young Master… Hey, I’m talking to you, don’t scratch the dragon and phoenix pattern! Where’s the mandarin duck quilt cover? Hurry up and put it on. And the red dates, peanuts, lotus seeds? Sprinkle them quickly!

Little Tangmen, trembling, hugging a wooden dummy in the corner: What are you planning to do?

Young Master: Getting you a bed.

Little Tangmen, amazed: Such an expensive bed in a dungeon.

Young Master: As this Young Master wishes.

Little Tangmen, embarrassed: Actually, I’m fine sleeping on the floor.

Young Master: But I can’t sleep on the floor.

Little Tangmen: …What does my sleeping on the floor have to do with you?

Young Master: Cough.

 

11

Little Tangmen: You say you don’t plan to kill me, so why keep me locked up?

Young Master: Because this young master likes to indulge you.

Little Tangmen: Your accent is so strange.

Young Master: Hehe, maybe you’re just dumb.

Little Tangmen: But you can’t keep me locked up forever, right?

Young Master: Why not? I can afford to spoil you for a lifetime.

Little Tangmen, almost in tears: Fine, fine, I get it, you’re rich and can do as you please. But it’s so boring staying in the dungeon every day. You’re such a strange person, I never really wanted to kill you.

Young Master: You can leave the day I get married.

Little Tangmen: Why does it have to be the day you get married… Oh well, it’s your territory, but please hurry up and get married.

Young Master, with a mysterious smile: I’ll try.

 

12

Little Tangmen, serious: I have a question, answer me honestly.

Young Master: Hmm?

Little Tangmen: Why won’t you let me wear pants? Are you… gay?

Young Master: I’m just afraid you’ll run away. Tang Sect assassins are known for their stealth. An extra precaution is always reassuring.

Little Tangmen, relieved: Oh, that’s good. I thought…

Young Master: But I am gay.

Little Tangmen, shocked, drops his spicy chicken leg: …

Young Master, repeating: I am gay.

Little Tangmen, covering his ears: I didn’t hear anything. I heard nothing.

Young Master, continuing: I am gay.

Little Tangmen, covering his bottom.

Young Master: Hahaha, just kidding. Actually…

Little Tangmen, with teary eyes: So you’re not?

Young Master: Actually, I am gay.

Little Tangmen: Ahhh! Help, senior brother!

 

13

Little Tangmen: So you really are gay… But being gay doesn’t mean you like every man, right?

Young Master: That’s true.

Little Tangmen: Then what kind of person do you like?

Young Master: Tall ponytail, big eyes, fair skin, straight nose, loves spicy food, loves playing mahjong, loves practising on wooden dummies, and doesn’t like wearing pants…

Little Tangmen: Stop, stop, stop, you’re not talking about me, are you?

Young Master, decisively: It’s you.

Little Tangmen: Ahhh! Senior brother, save me!

 

14

Little Tangmen: Then, would you suddenly pounce on me and kiss me?

Young Master, decisively: Yes.

Little Tangmen: And would you suddenly rush in at midnight and… do that to me?

Young Master, excitedly: Yes.

Little Tangmen: Ahhh! Senior brother, save me!

 

15

Young Master, unhappy: Why do you always call for your senior brother?

Little Tangmen, sniffing: My senior brother has always been the kindest to me. I call for him when I’m scared.

Young Master: Can he be kinder to you than I am?

Little Tangmen: He is kinder to me than you.

Young Master, getting angry: How is he kind to you? Tell me.

Little Tangmen: When I was little and scared at night, he would comfort me to sleep. He helped me wash my back when I bathed, bandaged me when I was injured, and sewed my clothes when they were torn, just like a real brother.

Young Master, even angrier: Those are nothing. Today, I will wash your back and then lull you to sleep. Someone, prepare the bathwater!

Little Tangmen: I was wrong, you’re the best. Could you please not wash my back?

Young Master: No, it’s too late.