31
Another night.
Young Master: Tonight I’ll tell you a story…
Little Tangmen, with a resigned face: Don’t bother, I’m coming over.
Young Master: Good boy.
32
Young Master: I notice you haven’t played mahjong for a while. Don’t you want to?
Little Tangmen: I promised you I wouldn’t gamble.
Young Master: We won’t gamble, just play. I’ll join you.
Little Tangmen’s eyes light up: Okay.
Young Master immediately calls three servants and sets up a table.
A servant plays a three of bamboo.
Young Master, very stern: Who allowed you to play a three of bamboo?
Servant: …
Young Master, looking at his cards: We’re missing a two of dots.
Servant: Yes, Young Master, two of dots.
Little Tangmen, munching on a candied haw stick: Don’t be like this, it’s no fun playing this way.
Young Master, standing behind Little Tangmen: Then let me massage your shoulders.
33
Meanwhile, elsewhere in the villa.
A servant is on his way to deliver a midnight snack to the Young Master but gets intercepted on the way.
Mysterious Person: Don’t move, don’t shout, or I’ll kill you.
Servant: …
Mysterious Person: Where is Young Master Ye’s bedroom? Point it out to me.
The servant points.
The Mysterious Person knocks the servant out with a chop and dashes silently towards the bedroom.
Inside the dark bedroom, the owner seems to be asleep. The Mysterious Person sneaks in, reaches for the bed, lifts the blanket, grabs the person tightly, and puts a dagger to his throat, asking: Are you Young Master Ye?
Young Master, lazily, as if not scared at all: Which Young Master Ye are you looking for?
Mysterious Person, confused: How many Young Master Yes are there?
Young Master: Two, I’m the eldest.
Mysterious Person, silent for a moment, then feels the Young Master: …Why aren’t you wearing any clothes while sleeping?
Young Master, chuckling: I like to sleep n*ked, what’s it to you?
Mysterious Person, irritated: Shameless!
Young Master, flippantly: You’re the one who sneaked into my bed in the middle of the night, holding and touching me all over, and then you call me shameless?
Mysterious Person, stunned, unable to retort.
Young Master, moving slightly: Move your hand a little lower, it’s more comfortable that way.
Mysterious Person: Don’t even think about it.
Young Master: It’s okay, you can touch anywhere, it all feels good.
Mysterious Person, burning with anger, lets go and shouts: Pervert!
Taking advantage of the loosened grip, Young Master immediately restrains the intruder, flipping over to press him down firmly.
Mysterious Person: Let go!
Young Master: Hmph, don’t even think about it.
34
The next morning, the Young Master goes to pay respects to his elder brother.
Young Master: Brother, are you alright?
Eldest Young Master, languidly: What could be wrong with me?
Young Master: I heard that an assassin sneaked into the villa last night, but the guards couldn’t find anyone.
Eldest Young Master, sitting upright: Oh, I’m not aware of it.
At this moment, muffled cries come from behind the bed curtains.
Young Master, thinking furiously: …Brother.
Eldest Young Master, calmly pulling the curtains: If there’s nothing, then scram.
Young Master, as a hundred thousand thoughts run through his mind: …Brother, I heard it.
Eldest Young Master: So what if you heard? Does that make you smart?
Young Master: Not really.
Eldest Young Master: Then scram.
Young Master: …
35
The Young Master returns to his room, deep in thought: Your senior brother seems to have come looking for you.
Little Tangmen: What do you mean ‘seems’?
Young Master, with a complex expression: Your senior brother seems about to become your sister-in-law.
Little Tangmen, stunned: Are you still half asleep?
Young Master: You’ll find out soon enough.
Little Tangmen: You need to sleep properly, stop getting up in the middle of the night and poking me with a rolling pin.
Young Master: I didn’t poke.
Little Tangmen: You did.
Young Master changes the topic: My elder brother is a very domineering person, very assertive.
Little Tangmen: Yes, he even killed your rooster to make soup, which is indeed a bit excessive.
Young Master: Killing a rooster is nothing; he also did something to your senior brother…
Little Tangmen: My senior brother? Did he really come?
Young Master: He didn’t come.
36
Another night, both of them lying in bed, Little Tangmen stares blankly at the ceiling.
Young Master: The New Year is approaching.
Little Tangmen, absentmindedly: Hmm.
Young Master: Isn’t it time to clear your debts?
Little Tangmen: What debt?
Young Master: You owe me a kiss. Now with compound interest, it’s a hundred kisses.
Little Tangmen blushes: Oh.
Young Master: If you don’t pay it back, by next year’s end, you probably won’t be able to count them all.
Little Tangmen, after thinking for a while, whispers: I won’t pay it back yet.
Young Master, surprised: Why?
Little Tangmen, with his head down, fiddles with the blanket corner, not speaking.
Young Master smiles knowingly: You just want it to keep accumulating, don’t you?
Little Tangmen continues to fiddle with the blanket corner.
37
Young Master lifts Little Tangmen’s chin with his finger and leans in to gently kiss him, their lips touching softly and warmly: I’ll take one back for now.
Little Tangmen’s face turns so red he’s almost bursting, his eyes darting around frantically.
Young Master’s fingertips caress his lips, his voice gentle: What are you thinking about?
Little Tangmen, wide-eyed: Senior brother…
Young Master’s heart races: You were thinking about your senior brother just now!?
Little Tangmen, startled: No! Look up!
Young Master looks up to see a stern, expressionless face staring coldly at them.
A young man in Tang Sect attire dramatically jumps down from the roof beam with a swish of his robe.
As he lands, he sticks his butt out high, one hand on his waist: Hiss…
Little Tangmen, concerned: Senior brother! What’s wrong?
Senior brother, very calmly: Nothing, just getting older, my back often aches.
Little Tangmen happily jumps off the bed and throws himself into his senior brother’s arms: You came! I missed you!
Senior brother, almost falling over, bears the pain and says: Be gentle.
But Young Master already sees through it all: Pfft.
38
Senior brother coldly glares at Young Master: What are you laughing at?
Young Master starts matchmaking: Actually, my brother…
Senior brother scoffs: Actually, nothing.
Young Master persuasively: At first, you’ll think he’s domineering, overbearing, and unreasonable, but over time you’ll find…
Senior brother interrupts: I have no desire to endure that long.
Young Master: What I mean is, over time you’ll see that he’s really quite a pain.
Senior brother: …
Little Tangmen, blinking: What are you guys talking about?
Senior brother: None of your business. I’ll kill this Ye guy first; then you’ll come back to Tang Sect with me to report.
Little Tangmen, alarmed: Senior brother, don’t touch him!
Young Master looks at Little Tangmen with a smile brimming with affection: Can’t bear to see me die?
Little Tangmen, blushing, looks down: Mm.
Senior brother: I see. I just saw him kiss you, so you also…
Little Tangmen: Also, what?
Senior brother: I just saw him kiss you, so you…
Little Tangmen, suddenly realizing: Senior brother, do you think repeating it casually makes me forget that ‘also’?
Senior brother: …
39
Just then, the bedroom door is kicked open. The handsome, dashing, but unreasonable eldest young master strides in, wearing a black feathered cloak, grabs the senior brother, wraps him up, and leaves without a word or closing the door.
Truly unreasonable.
Little Tangmen: What’s going on with them? Both are acting weird.
Young Master closes the door: Your senior brother came to rescue you, but he accidentally broke into my brother’s bedroom.
Little Tangmen: And then?
Young Master: Then they talked all night by candlelight and became good friends.
Little Tangmen, frustrated: …I feel like you’re all lying to me.
Young Master: Really, they got along well, discussing all kinds of friendships—gentlemanly, close, and unbreakable… endless.
Little Tangmen, relieved: That’s good, I understand all those idioms.
Young Master: Hahaha!
Little Tangmen: What are you laughing at now? Seriously, you need medication for your condition.
Young Master: Alright, alright, I will take it.
40
Senior brother struggles: Put me down!
Eldest Young Master: Oh?
Senior brother: Oh my foot, I’ll slaughter you one day.
Eldest Young Master clutches his chest: Don’t be like that.
Senior brother, scoffing: Regretting now?
Eldest Young Master, icy: No one has ever dared to resist me, let alone speak to me like that.
Senior brother rolls his eyes: Heh.
Eldest Young Master’s icy face flushes with a hint of red: …I really like it.
Senior brother, hopping mad: I’m serious! I will really slaughter you!
Eldest Young Master waves it off: Stop, my heart is racing.
Senior brother: Then go die!
Eldest Young Master: Let’s get married.
Senior brother: …
41
Young Master also pesters his brother today: Brother, I want to get married.
Eldest Young Master, imposing and commanding: How many times do I have to say it? No.
Young Master, indignant: Why not!
Eldest Young Master: The second young master of the Hidden Sword Villa marrying a Tang Sect assassin? I’ll beat you to death, you little rascal.
Young Master: Brother—
Eldest Young Master: Shut up, stop your nonsense.
Young Master: Isn’t he a Tang Sect assassin?
Eldest Young Master, lazily: What? I like your sister-in-law’s temperament.
Young Master: Brother, I’ve only realized after all these years, do you have a bit of a maso****tic tendency?
Eldest Young Master simply ignores him, pulling out two red silk fabrics to measure on the Tang Sect assassin in his arms: Darling~ which colour do you like~
Senior brother, coldly turning his head: Hmph.
Eldest Young Master: There are over thirty types of red silks~ we’ll try them slowly~
Senior brother, coldly: I will definitely kill you.
Eldest Young Master: Do it, do it, do it~ all up to you~ chu~
Young Master: Brother, did you take the wrong medicine?
Eldest Young Master glares fiercely at his brother: Are you going to leave on your own, or should I kick you out?
Young Master: This brother is no good! A lost cause!
