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Dubiously consensual stripping, misunderstanding regarding a potentially sexual situation, rape mention, internalized fatphobia regarding sexual situationsShi Yuan saw that Wu Ruo’s expression seemed like he found it hard to accept, so Shi Yuan braced himself and nodded.
Wu Ruo asked another time: “The ‘attending’ that all of you speak of, it’s not the ‘attending’ that I’m thinking of, right?”
The four corpse servants sensed his anger and didn’t dare to make another sound. They kept their heads down and helped him into his undershirt and underpants, and then put a thick and heavy outer coat on him.
Wu Ruo’s expression was full of disbelief.
He was already this fat, and they still wanted him to ‘attend’ to his husband?!
Shi Yuan and Shi Yi silently helped Wu Ruo out of the bathroom and into the bedroom.
Hei Xuanyi was currently looking at the steps for removing the gu parasite that Nu Mu had given him, when he heard footsteps entering, he merely glanced up at Wu Ruo.
Wu Ruo stood by the bedside with a dark expression, gesturing for Shi Yuan and the rest to leave the room. Then, he stood motionlessly1The original text is 一动一动 (yi dong yi dong) which isn’t really a proper phrase for anything, although the term yi dong (without repetition) does mean ‘easily; frequently; at every turn’. I’m assuming the author meant to write 一动不动 (yi dong bu dong) and translated it as such. in front of the bed and glared at Hei Xuanyi.
Hei Xuanyi kept the piece of paper carefully, stuffing it under the pillow: “Get on the bed.”
The veins on Wu Ruo’s forehead pulsed, and he forced down the impulse to punch Hei Xuanyi.
Hei Xuanyi saw that he wasn’t moving, and frowned: “Get on.”
Wu Ruo looked at him, then looked at the bed: “Carry me on.”
Hmph!
Didn’t they want him to ‘attend’ to his husband?
Then bring it on!
I’ll2Here, Wu Ruo refers to himself as 大爷我 (da ye wo), which isn’t the same as the usual wo to refer to one’s self. Da ye is usually the term used to address the head of household, usually the oldest male of the oldest generation, so I guess for the Wu family that’ll be Wu Bofang, but since he’s also got the ‘clan leader’ title, they will use that instead (it has higher status/rank than simply being the head of household).
If I’m not wrong, they refer to Wu Qianjing (Qianqing/Wu Ruo’s dad’s oldest brother) as da ye instead since he’s the oldest son of his generation. In terms of self-addressing as da ye, it kind of translates to a vibe like referring to yourself as ‘this lord’ or a man of status, sort of. I think it’s an arrogant way of referring to oneself. Basically, Wu Ruo is super pissed about the idea of having to ‘serve’ Hei Xuanyi in their marital bedroom, so opting to use da ye wo instead of just wo comes off as “you want this honored one to serve you?” crush you to death.
Hei Xuanyi: “…”
Wu Ruo was especially pleased with himself, Hei Xuanyi couldn’t carry him, right? Hei Xuanyi still had the cheek to ask Wu Ruo to ‘wait’ on him, he was just looking to die.
Hei Xuanyi saw that Wu Ruo had an expression of self-satisfaction, and raised his eyebrows. He lifted back the blankets, stood up, and undid the ties of the outer robe at Wu Ruo’s neck.
Wu Ruo hurriedly grabbed onto the outer cloak tightly: “What are you doing?”
Hei Xuanyi forcefully took off Wu Ruo’s outer cloak and hung it on the clothing hook. After that, he mulled over how to carry that person onto the bed. After all, Wu Ruo’s body was too broad. Hei Xuanyi’s arms could only wrap around half of Wu Ruo’s body at most; if he couldn’t hold onto the other half of Wu Ruo’s body, it would be easy for Wu Ruo to tumble to the ground.
“Hurry up, I’m cold.” Wu Ruo didn’t have his outer cloak to keep him warm, and couldn’t help but shiver.
Hei Xuanyi grabbed onto Wu Ruo’s right wrist, then squatted down and grabbed his right ankle. Suddenly, with a burst of strength, he lifted and hurled that person onto the bed.
Suddenly, before Wu Ruo’s eyes, the sky and earth were spinning3天旋地转 (tian xuan di zhuan) is a Chinese idiom that literally means ‘(to feel as if) the sky and earth were spinning’, and refers to feeling dizzy. I think you can take it more literally in this context though because Hei Xuanyi just flung Wu Ruo onto the bed like a sack of rice. Or maybe 50 sacks of rice since Wu Ruo is supposedly about 300kg.
Out of curiosity, I googled ‘heaviest people alive weight’ and there are people who weigh over 500kg. I thought the author was exaggerating, but I didn’t realize humans could actually get so big. I thought beyond a certain weight, your body might not physically be able to handle it but I guess my estimation of that ‘certain weight’ was a lot less than humans are actually capable of. The more you learn!. In the next second, he’d already been tossed onto the bed. Luckily, the bedding was thick enough, otherwise, he would be the one to suffer.
“Strip.” Hei Xuanyi said plainly.
“I won’t.” Wu Ruo moved his body inwards with much difficulty.
The veins on Hei Xuanyi’s forehead pulsed wildly. He was the one who had to exert spiritual energy to help Wu Ruo force out the gu parasite, but Wu Ruo was unexpectedly so unwilling. Could it be that Wu Ruo was worried it would hurt?
He narrowed his eyes: “You’re afraid it’ll hurt?”
He remembered Nu Mu saying that the process of removing the parasites would be extremely agonizing, this person was definitely afraid of the pain.
Wu Ruo’s fat face was both red and hot. He said, embarrassed and angry: “If it was you, you would also be afraid of the pain, right?”
Until now, Wu Ruo could still clearly remember how it had felt the first time the two of them had made love in their previous lives.
“…” Hei Xuanyi’s eyebrows creased: “Don’t worry, it’ll be over very quickly.”
Wu Ruo glared at him, embarrassed: “You’re lying.”
In their previous lifetime, the shortest time had still taken half a shichen. And, this man usually didn’t only want it once.
Hei Xuanyi’s patience had a limit, so he went straight over to strip Wu Ruo’s clothes.
“Hei Xuanyi, you want to rape4The term Wu Ruo uses here is 霸王硬上弓 (ba wang ying shang gong) which is an idiom that means ‘to force oneself on someone else’, but it can be translated more straightforwardly as ‘rape (verb)’. I made the choice to use the word ‘rape’ here because I think it’s a very important moment in the narrative, and it’s a very important choice that the author makes to call out dubcon/noncon in the genre. me?” Wu Ruo was so angered that he threw himself onto Hei Xuanyi, crushing him under Wu Ruo’s body. He conveniently grabbed a pillow and pounded it against Hei Xuanyi’s body: “You’re just that impatient? Can’t you wait till I’ve slimmed down to do that thing? I’m so fat right now, how can you swallow5Wu Ruo is super embarrassed if you can’t tell. He can’t even say ‘fuck’ or ‘have sex’ to Hei Xuanyi. He literally says 那个 (na ge)/’that thing’ when referring to sex here. Also, he’s asking how can Hei Xuanyi 下的了嘴 (xia de liao zui). Literally, it means ‘go down (one’s) mouth’. A quick Baidu search says it refers to a blowjob, but in this context, I think Wu Ruo is asking how Hei Xuanyi can stomach having sex with him when he’s so fat. it?”
Hei Xuanyi was struck dumb by Wu Ruo. For a moment, he couldn’t understand what Wu Ruo meant by his words.
At this moment, a piece of white paper floated down from the air, falling onto Hei Xuanyi’s face.
Wu Ruo froze: “What’s this?”
He picked it up to take a look. Many steps were written on the paper. Because in his previous lifetime, he had treated the gu parasite before, so he knew that these were the steps to treat the gu parasite.
Hei Xuanyi explained seriously: “These are the steps for treating the gu parasite that Nu Mu gave me. He wants me to start treating the gu parasite for you tonight.”
Wu Ruo glared at Hei Xuanyi angrily: “Since you want to treat the gu parasite, then why did you still want that thing just now?”
“What thing?” Hei Xuanyi didn’t understand.
“You wanted me to strip.”
“It was Nu Mu who said you needed to strip, to see where the parasite will come out from.”
Wu Ruo very quickly understood the start and end of this whole situation: “Master, you bastard, you actually dare to deceive a layman6The Chinese word for layman is 外行人 (wai hang ren) which literally means “person outside of the profession”. More specifically, it’s clearer in Chinese that Hei Xuanyi is ‘a person outside of the profession’ Nu Mu and Wu Ruo are in (a.k.a he’s clueless about medical arts).. When you’re forcing the gu parasite out, there’s actually no need to strip. You just have to force the gu parasite towards my fingertip, then it’ll come out from my fingertip. Look, the steps on the paper explain it clearly.”
When Hei Xuanyi heard Wu Ruo’s assertive manner of speaking, he knew that he’d been played for a fool by Nu Mu.
However, it was just another step of stripping, was there a need for Wu Ruo to get so agitated? And even accusing Hei Xuanyi of raping him?
Hei Xuanyi couldn’t help asking: “When I asked you to strip just now, what were you thinking?”
Wu Ruo’s face turned red and hot again, and he awkwardly said: “Nothing. Let’s quickly force the gu parasite out.”
Hei Xuanyi didn’t intend to let him go so easily: “You didn’t think that I wanted to have you, did you?”
Wu Ruo wouldn’t admit it even if he was beaten to death: “No.”
Hei Xuanyi’s gaze flashed with a sliver of amusement: “You’re sure you didn’t think this way?”
Wu Ruo was really embarrassed by Hei Xuanyi’s asking and glared at him with no good humor: “When I was bathing just now, there was a petal bath, and I was slathered with scented oils. After that, Shi Yuan told me that tonight I would be ‘attending’. So, can you blame me for thinking too much? This matter must definitely have been orchestrated by Hei Xin, it was him who told Shi Yuan to tell me that I’d be ‘attending’ tonight.”
Hei Xuanyi saw that Wu Ruo was embarrassed, angry and awkward, and couldn’t help his lips curling up.
“Laugh again and I’ll crush you to death.” Wu Ruo flung his whole person onto Hei Xuanyi’s body as if he was bearing down with the weight of Mount Tai. The person beneath him let out a smothered ‘hng’.
Hei Xuanyi: “…”
Er, this person was really quite heavy.
Wu Ruo saw that Hei Xuanyi’s brows were knitted together tightly, and grinned happily: “Scared, right?”
Hei Xuanyi’s expression was serious: “Get up.”
“I won’t get up.”
Hei Xuanyi narrowed his eyes, then lifted his hand to touch Wu Ruo’s waist.
It was as if Wu Ruo had been scalded by hot water, abruptly moving his body away. When he saw Hei Xuanyi lifting the blankets, preparing to sleep, Wu Ruo hurriedly hugged the other’s waist: “Daye, I was wrong.”
He still needed to rely on this person to force out the gu parasite, so he couldn’t afford to offend this person.
Hei Xuanyi raised his eyebrows: “What did you do wrong?”
“I shouldn’t have suspected your good intentions, and I also shouldn’t have used my weight advantage to crush you.”
The corner of Hei Xuanyi’s mouth quirked up slightly, he was very pleased with Wu Ruo’s attitude of admitting his mistakes.
After the two of them forced out the gu parasite, then they went back to their respective nest of blankets to sleep. The next morning, once they woke up, they went to see Nu Mu off.
Wu Ruo couldn’t bear to part with him: “Master, when I have time in the future, I’ll go to the Shaman clan to look for you.”
“Alright.” Nu Mu couldn’t stand the sentimental atmosphere of farewells the most, so he changed the topic. He asked quietly by Wu Ruo’s ear: “How was it last night with Little Hei?”
Wu Ruo rolled his eyes: “Nothing happened.”
Nu Mu laughed as he slapped Wu Ruo’s shoulder, saying: “I saw that Head Steward Hei was quite anxious about the two of you, so I gave him a hand. Alright, it’s not early anymore, I have to go.”
“Hn, shifu, take care7The actual phrase here is 慢走 (man zou) which means ‘walk slowly’, but it’s often said when bidding someone farewell. I think the intention is ‘take your time as you leave’, because you can get hurt if you’re rushing, or kind of like, ‘I can’t bear for you to leave, so leave slowly’. At least, that’s how I usually interpret it when I exchange man zous with people. For better flow of the story, I opted to translate it as ‘take care’..”
Wu Ruo watched as Nu Mu and his subordinates left, until he couldn’t see them anymore, only then did he walk back into the manor with Hei Xuanyi.
Hei Xuanyi went straight to the equipment-making room.
Wu Ruo instructed Shi You: “In the next few days, Wu Yanlan will definitely send people out of the Wu estate to look for someone. Think of a way to let Ling Mohan sneak into their entourage.”
“Understood.” Shi You turned around and left. He only hurriedly returned at noon, then, he took Ling Mohan with him and left Hei Manor. After that, Shi You came back to the manor by himself.
Two days after Ling Mohan left, it was the 23rd of layue8腊月 (la yue) is the 12th month of the lunar calendar. I just thought it’d be interesting to leave it in as layue because December of the solar calendar is 十二月 (shi er yue; literally 12th Month). The months in the lunar calendar have their own names. The la in layue refers to the sacrifice done after the winter solstice. It also refers to the cured meats that are done during this period of time. That’s why cured sausages are also called 腊肠 (la chang; literally cured intestines)., the festival of the kitchen god. Everyone in the family had to eat their own homemade jizao candy, to pray to the kitchen god for good fortune, and for the safety of the whole family in the coming year. When it was the 24th of layue, it was cleaning day.
Every family had to clean their surroundings, wash their various equipment, take apart and clean their bedclothes and curtains, mop and sweep all the outer courtyards, brush away the dust and spiderwebs, dredge the ditches and drains, to welcome the new spring’s atmosphere cleanly9A quick Baidu search shows that this whole sentence/paragraph was lifted more or less wholesale off of a “customs and traditions of various regions” pdf file. You can find it here. Essentially, before New Year’s in China, it’s tradition to do a deep clean of your household and its surroundings.
Most Chinese people believe that the way you start off your New Year is a sign of how the coming year will be like, so most of whatever is done is in the belief that starting off the year right will lead to a good year ahead. As an additional note, New Year is also known as “spring festival”, so if new spring is mentioned, it’s also referring to New Year’s..
And while the corpse servants in the manor cleaned, Dandan caused destruction. In a courtyard that had just been swept, in the blink of an eye, it would become a chaotic mess. In the end, it only ceased when Wu Ruo punished him to face a wall and reflect on his mistakes10面壁思过 (mian bi si guo) is a very popular ‘punishment’ where you’re made to stand and face a blank wall (or sometimes your ancestors’ memorial plaque), and reflect on your own mistakes. I think if you’re Chinese, you’ve been made to do it at least once. Also, you might commonly have to face the wall while kneeling down and keeping your arms raised above your head. Anyone else who has suffered this punishment before?.
The days passed by extremely quickly. In the blink of an eye, they were welcoming the night of New Year’s eve1112 — the author uses 除岁 (chu sui) here to refer to New Year’s eve, but the more commonly used term (at least for me) is 除夕 (chu xi). I’ve never actually heard it being referred to as chusui, but I’m not sure if that’s a regional thing or the fact that I’m Chinese diaspora rather than Chinese in China, or maybe it’s a dated way of referring to New Year’s eve..
Hei Xuanyi came out earlier from the equipment-making room; glancing around, it was red all around. It was as if the withered trees had grown red leaves in the span of one night. Many red strings were hung all over them. And row after row of big red lanterns were hung on the covered corridors and beneath the eaves. The candlelight was bright and extremely festive.
When he arrived outside the main hall, he could hear the sounds of laughter filling the whole house even before he entered. He couldn’t help but be infected by it, and the corner of his lips curled up slightly.
Inside the main hall, Wu Ruo was currently giving Hei Xin, Hei Gan, and Shi Yuan and the rest their red packets12A red packet, in this time period, would’ve been a small red pouch with money stuffed inside. It’s meant to bestow well wishes on the receiver. The common practice on who gives out red packets varies from region to region, but the general consensus seems to be that as long as you’re earning money, you can give someone else a red packet. Parents and elders in the family will give them to their children, and employers will give them to their employees.: “Shi Yuan, Shi You, Shi Jiu, Shi Yi, tonight I won’t need all of you to serve me here. The four of you can go to the back kitchens and spend the new year’s night with the others. Eat a proper full meal.”
Shi Yuan and the others happily said: “Thank you, Madam.”
Wu Ruo saw Hei Xuanyi entering, and smiled: “You’re here, let’s eat.”
Dandan threw himself over Wu Ruo’s lap, lifting his head and pouting his lips as he asked: “Daddy, what about my red packet?”
Hei Xin beamed: “Little Young Master also wants a red packet, huh?”
“I’ve helped you to keep your red packet. When you grow up, I’ll use it to help you get a wife.”
Dandan’s beautiful big eyes were full of curiosity: “Daddy, what’s a wife? Can you eat it?”
Hei Gan suppressed the urge to grin: “You can eat it.”
“Go.” Hei Xin pushed him away: “Don’t corrupt little shaoye.”
“All of you, take a seat.” Wu Ruo invited Hei Xin and Hei Gan to sit down13Just making a note here that Hei Xin and Hei Gan must be really trusted by Hei Xuanyi and Wu Ruo to be able to have their New Year’s dinner together with the two of them. Normally, the servants of a family dine separately, and since New Year’s dinner is so important, it’s a pretty huge honor for Hei Xin and Hei Gan, that’s why they thank Wu Ruo..
“Thank you, Madam.”
Hei Xuanyi took out red packets from his sleeve to give to them, even Shi Yuan and the rest got one each, and Wu Ruo’s red packet was the biggest.
Wu Ruo clutched onto the red packet tightly, and quietly said a word of thanks. This was his first time receiving Hei Xuanyi’s red packet. In his heart, he strangely felt especially happy.
Dandan was also especially happy because this was his first time receiving a red packet. He opened the red packet right there in front of Hei Xuanyi14The usual etiquette for red packets is to wait till you’re not in front of the giver to open it, because it’s supposed to be the thought that counts and not the money.. Inside, there were four small silver wrist bangles, and there were many bells hung on them: “Thank you, father15Dandan calls Hei Xuanyi 父亲 (fu qin), which is the more formal/polite way to address your father..”
Hei Xin immediately helped Dandan to put the wrist bangles onto his little hands.
“Jiu16The onomatopoeia for the sound birds make.~” The large crow Yao saw that everyone had a red packet, and cried out in dissatisfaction.
Hei Xin smiled and said: “Jiu Jiu also wants a red packet.”
Wu Ruo was confused: “This bird is called Jiu Jiu?”
“It’s the name that Little Young Master chose for him.”
Hei Xuanyi took out another red packet and gave it to Jiu Jiu.
Jiu Jiu excitedly used its mouth to receive the red packet, then, hid it under its17The author uses 它 (ta) pronouns to refer to Jiu Jiu, which is the form of ta that refers to non-human things. wings.
Everyone waited for the head of the household to tell them to eat18In China, it’s good manners to wait for the head of the household to announce the start of a meal before anyone else starts eating., then they picked up their chopsticks.
Dandan excitedly said: “I want to eat the chicken leg.”
“Alright.” Hei Xin picked the chicken leg for him.
Hei Xuanyi picked the other chicken leg and placed it into Wu Ruo’s bowl.
“Thank you.” Wu Ruo smiled at all of them as he ate. In his heart, he couldn’t help but lament. If this was his previous lifetime, he definitely wouldn’t believe that there would be a day that he would spend New Year’s with Hei Xuanyi and the others.
Outside the manor, heavy snowfall was swirling in the air, but it couldn’t hold back the festive atmosphere of the New Year. The whole of Gaoling City was filled with the sounds of bamboo firecrackers and everyone’s joyous laughter.
Wu Ruo was happy in his heart, and couldn’t help drinking another two glasses. After shousui19There is no proper translation for 守岁 (shou sui). Although I checked a Chinese to English dictionary, which translated it as ‘ringing in the new year’, it’s not quite the right translation. Shousui literally translates to ‘protecting the Year’, maybe you can call it a New Year’s vigil. Essentially, everyone stays up on New Year’s eve. Some families sit around and hang out together, and some will pray to their ancestors at the ancestral hall within their homes.
The purpose of shousui is to welcome the new year as it dawns. It’s important to be harmonious as a family/not fight with each other, and maintain a good atmosphere. Also, people believe that if you stay up for shousui, it will extend the longevity of your elders., when he returned to his room, he was already drunk.
He took out the money pouch that he’d finished sewing beforehand from beneath his pillow and gave it to Hei Xuanyi: “A present for you.”
Notes: This chapter was packed full of Chinese New Year cultural tidbits, so I hope that’s fun for everyone to read! I especially enjoyed the first half of the chapter because I had that circus clown song playing in my head the whole time while I was reading/translating, it was hilarious AF. I also really liked that the author called out the usual dubcon/noncon sex trope because it’s really not romantic to sexually assault your lover.
Neither of them are perfect about respecting boundaries, but I like that they never cross the bottom line.
Also, just as an aside, if anyone is reading the original Chinese alongside my translations, some stuff gets translated differently in later chapters as I learn more and improve at translating. I’m always trying my best, but my Chinese is still lacking and I’ll be working on getting better as much as I can. I appreciate everyone’s support (views, likes, comments, tips) and I hope everyone enjoys Loser Wife as much as I do. Thank you very much!
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