Chapter 52
Song Linsheng’s switching time had become normal the past two days, eight in the morning and six in the evening.
Shi Nan breathed a sigh of relief. During this period, he concluded that as long as the switching was abnormal, there must be some fluctuation in Song Linsheng’s heart. In this way, normal switching was a signal of stability.
But there were still some changes in getting along. Song Linsheng of night time was fine. The two of them got off work and cooked as before, ate together in the evening, kissed and hugged each other, and occasionally used each other’s hands to relieve themselves. Shi Nan was not forcing him to go further now. That was fine too.
Of course, Shi Nan now had one more task, which was to confess to him every day: “Song Linsheng, I love you, I love you to death.”
This sentence was like a tranquilizer, Even if Song Linsheng had any thoughts of disappearing in his heart, he calmed down immediately after hearing these words.
But something was wrong with Song Linsheng during the day. He was avoiding Shi Nan.
Ever since Shi Nan said that both of them should be treated equally, he found that Song Xiaobai was avoiding him.
Just like now when the two of them had lunch together, Song Linsheng was sitting behind the desk and he was sitting on the sofa. The two of them had separate meals, one for each.
Shi Nan poked at the rice with a ladle, staring at Song Linsheng. Song Linsheng lowered his head while eating, seemingly unaware of Shi Nan’s gaze.
Shi Nan stood up violently, and at the same time, Song Linsheng’s chair slid back.
Shi Nan gritted his teeth and stepped forward, putting his hands on the table and looking at him: “Song Linsheng, are you hiding from me?”
“I am not.” Song Linsheng looked at him innocently, “Did I hide from you?”
Shi Nan took a step behind the desk, and Song Linsheng suddenly stood up, stretching out his hand: “Don’t come over.”
Shi Nan: “…”
“What, do I have poison?” Shi Nan glared at him.
“No poison, I just think… during work hours… we should be mindful of appearances.” Song Linsheng took a step back.
“It’s lunch break now.” Shi Nan took a step forward.
“You have to be pure of heart and have self-restraint. You can’t look like…like…like…” Song Linsheng retreated to the wall.
Shi Nan gritted his teeth and stared at him. Pure and self-restrained. Did he think he was some sort of lecher?
Shi Nan narrowed his eyes and moved forward step by step. Song Linsheng had no way to retreat, so he turned around and planned to go around from the other side.
“Stand there and don’t move.” Shi Nan suddenly yelled.
As soon as Song Linsheng hesitated, Shi Nan had already walked over.
Shi Nan watched Song Linsheng stretch out his hand, and Song Linsheng sighed helplessly: “What on earth do you want to do?”
“What did I do?” Shi Nan moved forward, rubbing against Song Linsheng’s arms.
Song Linsheng’s hands hung by his sides, a little stiff.
“Hold me.” Shi Nan ordered him.
“Shi Nan…”
“Shut up.” Shi Nan grabbed his hands and put them on his waist.
Earlier, he pretended to be another person, kissed him and hugged him. Now that he was given the opportunity to hug him openly, he wanted to refuse, haha.
Song Linsheng raised his hand and rubbed Shi Nan’s head, and smiled helplessly. In fact, Shi Nan’s little schemes could be easily guessed if one thought about it carefully.
The words about amnesia that he seemed to have said accidentally that day were not unintentional but intentional.
Song Linsheng felt sorry for him.
At 6:10 p.m., Song Linsheng sat up from the bed, first pressed his forehead where the pain had subsided, and then turned on his mobile phone.
The first message that came in turned out to be “his”.
—I’m going to see Mei Qingyi.
Song Linsheng held the phone and sent him a reply after a long time.
— Okay.
Song Linsheng opened the door and went out. Shi Nan observed him for a while: “What did you have for dinner last night?”
“Sweet and sour pork ribs.” Song Linsheng said.
Shi Nan smiled, walked over and kissed him.
Song Linsheng went to the kitchen to cook. Shi Nan took a fruit and bit into it, feeding Song Linsheng a bite from time to time.
“Eat less, dinner is almost ready.”
“The old lady downstairs said she was going abroad to accompany her grandson. I made an agreement with her to rent her house.”
“Okay, it’s close by, which is good. ”
Song Linsheng was a little absent-minded, and s was Shi Nan. After everything returned to normal, he suddenly didn’t know what to do.
He didn’t know whether Song Linsheng heard what he said intentionally or unintentionally about amnesia, and he didn’t dare to ask too directly for fear of irritating him.
It seemed that he would have to look for Mei Qingyi another day.
At lunch the next day, Song Linsheng told him that he was going on a business trip. Shi Nan was a little surprised: “Business trip?”
“Yes, about three to five days.” Song Linsheng still stayed away from him, for fear that Shi Nan would step on him.
Shi Nan frowned: “Oh my god, then…is this okay for you?”
“Okay.” Song Linsheng glanced at him, “We have always been like this before.”
“Oh.” Shi Nan curled his lips, “Then you two are great. Ah.”
“Tell him to pack his bags, thank you.” Song Linsheng said.
In the evening, Shi Nan told Song Linsheng that Song Xiaobai was going on a business trip. Song Linsheng didn’t look surprised at all. He just stood up and went to the bedroom to start packing. Shi Nan was a little worried: “Is it really okay for you to do this?”
“Yes, we have always been like this.”
Shi Nan: “…”
Well, he was overthinking.
Shi Nan suddenly felt that the two of them were quite good on their own, and he seemed redundant.
Song Linsheng drove to a resort center in the suburbs. Because it was not a holiday, there were not many people in the resort center.
Song Linsheng drove the car to a three-story building and stopped. The person sitting under an umbrella outside the house reading a book and drinking coffee looked up.
When Song Linsheng got off the car, he stood up and walked over.
“Long time no see.” Mei Qingyi smiled and extended his hand to him.
Song Linsheng glanced at him, then shook his hand with an expressionless face.
“I didn’t expect you to call me.” Mei Qingyi did not hide his surprise at all.
“I didn’t expect that I would call you one day.” Song Linsheng sat down on the chair and crossed his legs.
“Then why are you looking for me?” Mei Qingyi observed Song Linsheng’s condition. He hadn’t seen him for many years. Song Linsheng was still much the same as when he was young. His expression management was very good. It was very difficult to see any clues from his face and eyes.
“I’m looking for you for a checkup.” Song Linsheng said calmly.
“Checkup?” Mei Qingyi raised an eyebrow, “I’m a psychiatrist.”
“I know.” Song Linsheng looked at the high sun, “I’ll give you three days to draw a conclusion.”
Song Linsheng went on a business trip, leaving Shi Nan alone at home. He was used to living with Song Linsheng, suddenly he was not used to being alone at home.
The old lady downstairs vacated the house. Before leaving, she hired a housekeeper to clean the house from inside to outside, so that anyone could move in directly.
Shi Nan picked up Ding Yu from the hotel. Ding Yu was very happy to be able to live just downstairs to them.
After Ding Yu moved here, she went to Shi Nan’s house to help him cook a meal.
There was no one else at home, only Ding Yu and him. Shi Nan felt a little embarrassed.
He has never lacked the warmth of family. Shi Haiping gave him father’s love, while his aunt gave him mother’s love, and Sang Yan and Sang Wan. They were an ordinary family, with their own quarrels and warmth.
As for the appearance of Gu Shuwei and Ding Yu, Shi Nan felt sympathy and closeness in his heart, but he could not immediately assume the role of a son. Gu Shuwei and Ding Yu naturally understood, so they never forced him. This made Shi Nan feel guilty.
“When you were little, you loved my fried rice with eggs the most. You wanted corn in it, but no green peas. If there were green peas, you’d pick them out. The eggs had to be in very small pieces; if they were too big, you wouldn’t eat them, and there couldn’t be any scallions.”
Shi Nan leaned against the door and listened, and suddenly smiled: “Actually, I don’t like green beans anymore.”
“Really?” Ding Yu was a little happy.
When Ding Yu was cooking, a strand of hair slipped past her ear and fell in front of her eyes. Ding Yu put down the shovel, took a step back, untied the hair tie and tied her hair again. After washing her hands, she picked up the shovel again.
When Shi Nan saw this action, he suddenly felt a little dazed, and a blurry scene flashed before his eyes.
A slender woman stood by the window, bathing in the dusk. Her hair was not long and was tied loosely behind her head. Every strand of hair exuded the unique tenderness of women.
The home was filled with the aroma of food, and loud shouts: “Xiao Bei, come out and see what dad bought you?”
“Dragon Beard Candy, it’s Dragon Beard Candy.” The child laughed and made noise, and the man picked him up and spun him around.
…
“Nan Nan?”
Shi Nan suddenly came to his senses: “Mom, I want to eat dragon beard candy.”
Ding Yu was stunned for a moment, and suddenly tears filled her eyes: “Okay, okay, wait until mom makes it for you tomorrow.”
Shi Nan bent down and hugged Ding Yu. At this moment, he suddenly felt aggrieved and sentimental. It seemed that at a certain moment, he had shouted “Mom, where are you?” countless times, but no one responded to him.
This attachment seemed different from the favour given to him by his aunt.
Shi Nan was very satisfied with the simple dinner. After the meal, Shi Nan watched TV with Ding Yu and video chatted with Gu Shuwei. When Gu Shuwei saw the two of them together, he wanted to buy a plane ticket and fly over immediately.
Shi Nan smiled and said, “Dad, Mom said she would make dragon beard candy for me tomorrow. I’ll keep it for you, and we’ll eat it together when you come.”
Gu Shuwei looked at Shi Nan and suddenly hung up the video.
“What’s wrong?” Shi Nan was a little confused.
“It’s okay.” Ding Yu patted him, “I guess he went to find a place to cry. There was a grandfather selling dragon beard candy at the entrance of the alley where we used to live. Your father often took you to buy it secretly. Eating candy is not good for your teeth. He got scolded by me a lot because of this.”
Ding Yu touched Shi Nan’s hair: “That was your father and son’s time.”
Shi Nan hugged Ding Yu and put his head on her shoulder: “Then from now on, it’s our time as a family of three, no, as a family of four.”
The two of them chatted about Song Linsheng.
“His father was really not a good person. He beat his mother so hard.” After all these years, Ding Yu was still very angry when she thought about this. “He drank, gambled and beat women. He was a scumbag.”
“He also beat Song Linsheng?” Shi Nan’s heart ached.
“No beating.” Ding Yu sighed, “A man like this treated his son very preciously. Every time he won money outside, he went to buy food for the child first. Fortunately, he was good to the child. Otherwise, Lin Sheng would have suffered a lot when he was a child.”
“I secretly persuaded Lin Sheng’s mother to get a divorce, but his mother said that divorce was not good for the child. She would not be able to support the child alone if she divorced. At that time, Lin Sheng’s father was still a regular employee of a small factory. The family of three was supported by his salary, and the house also belonged to him.”
“What happened next?” Shi Nan asked.
“Then it was the night you and Lin Sheng disappeared. That night your dad and I both worked overtime and came back late. We originally left you at Grandma Liu’s house next door, but you often went to play with Lin Sheng, and your Grandma Liu didn’t care. Then a fire suddenly broke out, and the fire burned down Lin Sheng’s house and ours.”
“At first we thought you and Lin Sheng were burned to death.” Ding Yu was still a little shaken when she mentioned the previous incident, and calmed down. Then she continued, “Later, the police only found two bodies. After identification, they were Lin Sheng’s parents, but you and Lin Sheng were missing.”
“How did the fire happen?”
Ding Yu held Shi Nan’s hand. “The police said that Lin Sheng’s mother killed his father and then set the fire.”
Shi Nan’s eyes widened, and then he stood blankly. He never expected that this was the reason.
Could it be that Song Linsheng saw his mother kill his father that night?
What a shadow that would be.
That night Shi Nan tossed and turned and couldn’t fall asleep. As soon as he closed his eyes, all he saw was Song Linsheng.
In the middle of the night, Shi Nan couldn’t bear it anymore and sent a message to Song Linsheng.
Song Linsheng was sitting on the balcony of the resort center smoking when he received the message. He didn’t know whether it was right or wrong to come to Mei Qingyi this time.
He once hated this world and this body so much that he wanted to leave this world and sleep forever.
He thought he had created another clean self who could start over and spend the rest of his life with Shi Nan cleanly.
Now he suddenly had to accept the fact that everything seemed to be his imagination. There was no other Song Linsheng who was clean and simple. There might be another Song Linsheng who was as miserable as him.
Song Linsheng put out the cigarette in his hand and lit another one.
After a long time, he picked up his phone and clicked on Shi Nan’s message.
Song Linsheng, I love you more today than yesterday.
I will love you more every day from now on than the day before.
The cigarette that Song Linsheng held burned slowly, and finally burned to his fingertips. The burning feeling made Song Linsheng feel some feelings of still being in the world.
Song Linsheng suddenly chuckled. He had no way to escape now. Even if there was a mountain of swords and a sea of fire ahead of him, he had to grit his teeth and go on without leaving Shi Nan alone.
Shi Nan didn’t sleep all night, tossing and turning in the morning. After seeing the rising sun, the words he sent out in the dark felt a little cringe. But it had already been sent and he couldn’t take it back.
Now that this was the case, he couldn’t favor one over the other. After all, he must treat everyone equally.
So Shi Nan also sent the same words to Song Xiaobai.
Song Linsheng, who had just recovered, made a cup of strong coffee, but before he drank it, his cell phone rang.
Song Linsheng, I love you more today than yesterday.
I will love you more every day from now on than the day before.
When Song Linsheng looked at this message, he didn’t feel much surprise, but more envy and jealousy.
After all, he thought that his relationship with Shi Nan had not developed enough to send such disgusting messages.
Shi Nan sent this message to that person, but because he treated everyone equally, he could only be regarded as an extra.
Song Linsheng came to the window with a cup of coffee and looked at the flowers and trees bathed in the morning sun. He hated this world, this body, and these memories so much, but one day he actually fell in love with them because of a person.
T/N: Thank you for reading (~˘▾˘)~
Let me know if you find any mistakes and I’ll correct it. You can also ‘buy me a coffee’ if you like it…..
