Xu Zhou’s heart sank little by little.
He had considered the possibility that Gu Jingchen might not be able to accept men. However, he always believed that since Jingchen treated him so well, even if he couldn’t accept men initially, he should gradually accept him. As long as he took it step by step, he believed he could keep Gu Jingchen by his side.
But now, after several months, Gu Jingchen still hadn’t given him an answer.
What made him feel the most disheartened was… when he just touched Gu Jingchen, there was indeed no reaction at all.
So, it seemed like Jingchen really didn’t like men, and perhaps… didn’t like him either.
If he liked him, even if he couldn’t accept the scenes on the screen, there should have been some reaction when his hand touched him.
A dull pain filled Xu Zhou’s chest.
But he was unwilling to give up. Clenching his jaw, he said, “So, when I touched you just now, did it disgust you?”
Gu Jingchen could feel his sadness and immediately panicked, shaking his head, “Not disgusting.”
He truly didn’t find Zhou Zhou disgusting. How could Zhou Zhou be disgusting? Zhou Zhou was the best person in the world.
Xu Zhou stared at him for a while, then silently changed to a different movie.
This time it was between a man and a woman.
At first, Gu Jingchen didn’t understand why he changed the movie. After about two minutes, he awkwardly realized that he reacted.
He quickly used his hand to cover himself.
Xu Zhou snapped off the screen with a cold laugh, “You don’t need to cover; I saw it.”
Gu Jingchen was at a loss for words, not knowing what to say.
Xu Zhou’s face was like ice shards, “It seems you still like women.”
Gu Jingchen hesitated for a moment, not denying it.
He thought it was a natural physiological response. Who wouldn’t react to such scenes? As for the previous adult film featuring men, wasn’t it just because it was too shocking that he didn’t watch it closely? But he felt it was better not to reveal his thoughts because he had already decided to make things clear with Zhou Zhou today. He didn’t want to complicate matters.
After a few seconds of hesitation, he finally expressed his thoughts, “Zhou Zhou, I prefer being brothers with you.”
For a moment, anger surged in Xu Zhou’s heart, like a burning flame. But listening to his words was like being doused with cold water, making him shiver.
Trembling, he said, “Brothers? You want to be brothers with me?” He leaned in to kiss Gu Jingchen’s lips, passionately stirring for a moment, then pulled back, eyes burning with fierceness, “Do brothers kiss each other? Can you kiss every brother like this?”
Gu Jingchen stared at him blankly.
He knew Xu Zhou was heartbroken, and he couldn’t help but feel sad as well. Holding Xu Zhou’s shoulder, he struggled to say, “It’s not… I don’t want to kiss anyone else…”
Hearing him say this, a glimmer of hope ignited in Xu Zhou’s heart, “In your heart, I’m different, right?”
Gu Jingchen nodded without hesitation.
After silently observing for a moment, Xu Zhou suddenly stood up, began to undress, and said, “Since I’m different, and you don’t reject my kiss, maybe after we do it, you’ll be able to accept me.”
As he spoke, he took off his clothes, leaving only a pair of underwear.
Gu Jingchen realized what he was about to do and immediately blushed.
Zhou Zhou’s skin was so fair, his waist so slender, his legs so straight… He couldn’t look anymore!
He swallowed hard, then… ran!
Xu Zhou: “…”
He watched Gu Jingchen run out of the media room without looking back, sitting on the sofa, his whole person falling, covering his face with clothes. He felt his whole body trembling.
Although the room was filled with warmth, he felt like he was in a bone-chilling cold wind.
His heart was cold, cold enough to almost die.
He thought he could win step by step, thinking that with patience, he could eventually break through the barriers. But reality dealt him a heavy blow. When Gu Jingchen saw his body, he turned and ran…
This could only mean that Gu Jingchen couldn’t accept not only men but also him.
All his previous perseverance, and all his dreams, turned out to be a joke.
…
Gu Jingchen ran out of the media room, then out of the villa, and headed straight back to the old house.
The shock he had just experienced was too much. He felt that he couldn’t face Xu Zhou in the short term, so he didn’t think twice and just escaped.
Back at the old house, Grandpa Gu noticed that his grandson’s face didn’t look right and asked what happened.
He mumbled and refused to tell the truth.
Grandpa Gu thought for a moment and didn’t press further.
His eldest grandson had grown up, having his troubles and secrets. He couldn’t inquire about everything.
As a result, because Grandpa didn’t intervene, Gu Jingchen and Xu Zhou circled each other for over a decade.
Later on, whenever he thought about it, Grandpa Gu deeply regretted not asking a little more. If he had known that his eldest grandson had such a single-minded character, why didn’t he ask more questions? If he had stepped in, his grandson and granddaughter-in-law wouldn’t have taken such a circuitous route.
Afterward, Gu Jingchen deliberately avoided Xu Zhou, who also didn’t persistently pursue him as before. Seeing that Gu Jingchen ignored him, he just walked away with a cold face.
Their close friends keenly sensed that something was wrong between them. Initially, they thought it was just a petty quarrel that would soon be resolved.
Unfortunately, a week passed, a month passed… and the relationship between the two remained icy.
Their close friends were at a loss, asking Gu Jingchen what had happened, but he refused to reveal a single word.
They all started their friendship from the time they were naked babies. However, the close friends were somewhat afraid of Xu Zhou and preferred to bond with Gu Jingchen. Gradually, they distanced themselves from Xu Zhou.
On the other hand, Zhou Nianyuan’s relationship with Xu Zhou remained good, and the two quickly became inseparable. Perhaps it was because both were intelligent and had deep thoughts, they just clicked.
Seeing the two always together, even going to the cafeteria for meals, made Gu Jingchen feel uncomfortable. He had always considered himself Xu Zhou’s best friend and brother.
So, he drove his close friends to Xu Zhou’s side, letting them accompany Xu Zhou. He couldn’t let Xu Zhou and Zhou Nianyuan be alone together, even if it meant being left alone without friends.
However, even though he kept an eye on Xu Zhou’s activities, he still couldn’t bring himself to interact with him. The thought of his reaction that day made him panic, and he had no idea how to face Xu Zhou.
He couldn’t tell Xu Zhou that he reacted to seeing Xu Zhou’s legs. That would make him seem like a beast…
After Christmas came New Year’s Day, and shortly after that were final exams and the start of the winter vacation. Until the Chinese New Year, Gu Jingchen and Xu Zhou did not reconcile. Well, it couldn’t be called reconciliation; they just tacitly distanced themselves without arguments or a dramatic falling out.
Both families were aware of their conflict because, since kindergarten, they had been inseparable. They did everything together, not just homework; they even went to the bathroom together.
The elders became somewhat anxious, asking what had happened between them, but they remained tight-lipped. So, during the Chinese New Year, the elders discussed and decided to organize a family gathering at the Gu residence on the fourth day of the new year. The main goal was to create an opportunity for the two to reconcile.
Knowing the elders’ intentions, Xu Zhou hesitated but ultimately agreed to go to the Gu family.
Meanwhile, Gu Jingchen, aware that Xu Zhou was coming to his home, was restless.
Old Master Gu invited him to play chess, but Gu Jingchen made five mistakes in a single game and lost within a few minutes. “No backbone!” Old Master Gu scolded him with a chicken feather duster, tapping his head. “Zhou Zhou and the others will arrive at ten, and we still have two hours! Concentrate and play two more rounds with me!”
Gu Jingchen dared not lose focus again and quickly concentrated on playing with his grandfather.
Around ten o’clock, the Xu family arrived.
Xu Zhou entered last.
He wore a long red down jacket and a red scarf. If others dressed like this, it might seem festive and tacky, but Xu Zhou had fair skin and a handsome appearance. The red clothing made him look radiant.
Gu Jingchen immediately stood up, his eyes wide open.
Old Master Gu sighed silently. His eldest grandson was indeed lacking and somewhat timid.
He greeted Xu’s family and then found an opportunity to ask Gu Jingchen to take Xu Zhou upstairs to play.
After all, it was his grandfather’s order, and even though Gu Jingchen still didn’t know how to face Xu Zhou, he couldn’t defy his grandfather’s command.
In truth, he had wanted to reconcile with Xu Zhou long ago. He couldn’t stand Xu Zhou treating him like a stranger or getting close to others.
It was just that when he wanted to reconcile with Xu Zhou a while ago, Xu Zhou refused to acknowledge him. Realizing that Xu Zhou was angry with him, he didn’t dare to approach forcefully because he feared getting hit by Xu Zhou!
…
Gu Jingchen took Xu Zhou to the amusement room.
The two had spent most of their lives playing here since childhood.
Upon entering, he nervously stared at Xu Zhou, several times opening his mouth as if wanting to say something but hesitating.
Seeing him eagerly looking at him, like a big dog wagging its tail, clearly wanting to get close but also fearing, Xu Zhou’s heart softened.
In fact, back at school, he knew that Gu Jingchen wanted to reconcile with him.
However, his heart was still wounded, and healing couldn’t happen so quickly.
But… he didn’t want to be in a prolonged cold war with Gu Jingchen either.
After all, he liked Gu Jingchen, and even though he felt stabbed in the heart, he couldn’t bear to let go.
So, even though he guessed the intention of both families, he agreed to come over, not wanting to leave Gu Jingchen hanging.
He sighed softly and said, “Fool, weren’t you avoiding me?”
Seeing that he finally was willing to talk to him, Gu Jingchen was so excited that tears were welling up. He choked up and said, “I didn’t… it hurts so much when you ignore me.”
Xu Zhou glanced at him and said, “Clearly, you were the one avoiding me at the beginning.”
Thinking about his evasive actions back then, Gu Jingchen felt particularly embarrassed. He grabbed Xu Zhou’s hand and said, “It’s my fault. I apologize to you… I’m sorry, Zhou Zhou. I promise I won’t avoid you again in the future. Don’t ignore me, okay?”
Xu Zhou remained silent.
Gu Jingchen shook his wrist, saying, “If you ignore me, I’ll be sad.”
Xu Zhou looked down at their intertwined hands and said slowly, “If you want us to be brothers, you can’t be handsy like before.”
Gu Jingchen was stunned.
Somehow, he suddenly remembered the image of two men embracing in the AV room that day and his ears instantly turned red.
He awkwardly let go of Xu Zhou’s hand, “Alright… alright…”
Xu Zhou lowered his eyelids, feeling a bit cold inside.
Indeed, Jingchen still couldn’t accept being with a man…
He collected his thoughts, looked up at Gu Jingchen, and said, “Since we can’t be lovers, let’s continue being brothers.”
Upon hearing this, Gu Jingchen was so happy that he almost jumped, “Really? Zhou Zhou, you’re amazing!”
On one hand, he felt that he still wanted to spend his life with a woman, and on the other hand, he didn’t want to sever ties with Xu Zhou, so he had been particularly conflicted these past few months.
Now that Zhou Zhou was willing to continue being brothers, he suddenly felt relieved and his heart found a resting place.
Suddenly, Xu Zhou stared at him intensely and said, “But I still like you, what should I do?”
Gu Jingchen was stunned.
Xu Zhou continued, “Can’t you really accept me?”
After a long while, Gu Jingchen finally opened his mouth and said, with difficulty, “But… but I think we should be with girls…”
Xu Zhou silently looked at him for a few seconds and said, “This is the second time I’ve formally confessed to you. I hope you consider it carefully.” He paused and added, “Before you accept my feelings, let’s just be brothers. I’ll give you time to adapt.”
Gu Jingchen found himself at a loss for words.
He had been close to Zhou Zhou since childhood. He had thought that perhaps Zhou Zhou had mistaken their closeness for love, having spent so much time together, leading him to believe that he liked him romantically.
However, he hesitated to express this thought. What if Zhou Zhou genuinely liked him? He would be hurting Zhou Zhou by implying that it was merely familial affection.
Even though he seemed to have already hurt Zhou Zhou’s feelings.
In the end, he nodded and said, “Uh, let’s be brothers then,” automatically ignoring the first half of Xu Zhou’s statement.
Xu Zhou’s eyelashes trembled slightly, and he remained silent.
He didn’t tell Gu Jingchen that three times was the limit and that he would find an opportunity to confess one more time. If Gu Jingchen still couldn’t accept him, he wouldn’t persist any longer.
After that day, the two reconciled, at least superficially. They continued to meet every day, do homework together, and play games together, just like before.
The elders were relieved, and the friends who saw them getting along as usual after school started were happy.
However, only Zhou Nianyuan saw through the situation. He privately told Xu Zhou, “I think you need to take more drastic measures for him to realize his feelings.”
After listening, Xu Zhou shook his head in silence.
How could he bear it?
Even if there was still a bleeding wound in his heart, he was unwilling to hurt Gu Jingchen in the slightest.
For the person he liked, he wanted to pamper, protect, and love them.
So, Gu Jingchen continued to play ostrich, and Xu Zhou, taking a step back, never brought up the topic of feelings again. The two of them peacefully passed the second semester of their sophomore year and entered their senior year.
The senior year curriculum was very demanding. Although they, as children of prestigious families, could secure admission to top universities and had promising futures even if they scored zero on exams, due to Xu Zhou and Zhou Nianyuan’s leadership, everyone was earnestly preparing for the exams.
Gu Jingchen was even busier every day, preparing more materials for his plan to study abroad with Xu Zhou.
After being busy for a while, Christmas arrived.
Xu Zhou invited him to dinner in the evening.
Gu Jingchen inexplicably felt a bit nervous. He remembered last year’s Christmas, when they parted ways unhappily, leading to a several-month-long cold war. The fear lingered in his heart.
But how could he refuse Xu Zhou’s request?
He bought a gift, planning to give it to Xu Zhou in the evening.
This time, Xu Zhou didn’t book a restaurant; instead, he took Gu Jingchen to a small apartment near the school.
In the past, they used to go to Gu Jingchen’s small villa, but Xu Zhou felt the villa was too spacious, and not as cozy as the small apartment nearby.
He had the maid at home prepare a few dishes and bring them over. Before dinner, he looked at Gu Jingchen and said, “Jingjing, have you really thought about going abroad with me?”
Gu Jingchen was extremely surprised. He placed the soup in front of Xu Zhou and said, “Of course, didn’t we agree on this a long time ago?”
In junior high school, they had set their goals, and he had been striving in that direction. Otherwise, as a poor student like him, how could he aspire to enter an Ivy League school?
Xu Zhou gave him a deep look and said, “But if we go abroad, I still want to be with you. What should we do?”
Gu Jingchen sat up straight in an instant.
Xu Zhou continued, “We are about to become adults, and it’s also time for us to start dating… I want to confess to you again sincerely, Gu Jingchen. I really like you and want to spend my life with you.”
Gu Jingchen stared at him in shock.
Xu Zhou lifted his bowl, took a sip, and casually said, “Think about it tonight, and give me your answer tomorrow morning, okay?”
His expression was very calm as if they were just having a casual conversation.
Gu Jingchen pondered silently. Since Xu Zhou didn’t force him before, he probably wouldn’t force him this time either, and he immediately felt relieved.
Not paying much attention to this matter, after finishing their meal, he patted the sofa, inviting Xu Zhou to sit beside him. He said, “Zhou Zhou, no need to wait until tomorrow. I can give you an answer now.”
Xu Zhou held the teacup, sitting across from him.
He didn’t perceive anything unusual and smiled, saying, “I’ve already figured it out. Let’s remain the best of friends. In the future, we can get married together, have children together, and watch our children grow up together… Just thinking about it makes me feel happy.”
Xu Zhou looked at him quietly and asked, “Really? Do you feel happy?”
Gu Jingchen nodded heavily.
Xu Zhou smiled slightly, “Alright, then let’s be the best of friends.”
Although he had a smile on his face, for some reason, Gu Jingchen felt that he was very sad.
But… he had indirectly rejected Zhou Zhou, so it was normal for Zhou Zhou to feel sad.
Thinking about this, Gu Jingchen suppressed the panic in his heart.
Xu Zhou put the teacup on the coffee table, stood up, patted his shoulder, and said, “Let’s go back to school. Evening self-study is about to end, and lights will be turned off soon.”
Gu Jingchen agreed.
However, when Xu Zhou’s hand left his shoulder, he inexplicably felt a sense of unease, as if he had missed something.
But after carefully observing Xu Zhou’s expression and not noticing anything wrong, he calmed down again.
On the way back to school, the two chatted casually as usual. Gu Jingchen even recited a few English questions.
However, the next morning, Xu Zhou was nowhere to be found.
His friends said Xu Zhou had taken leave and gone home. Gu Jingchen thought Xu Zhou might be sick. He endured until the end of classes, then immediately called Xu Zhou.
Xu Zhou’s phone was turned off.
Feeling anxious and confused, at noon, he finally remembered to inquire about Xu Zhou’s situation from Xu’s family.
Xu’s mother answered his call and informed him that Xu Zhou had already boarded a flight to California.
At that moment, Gu Jingchen felt like the sky was falling.
He would never forget that it was the day with the strongest sunlight in winter. Standing on the playground, he felt the sun was so intense, causing a splitting headache and almost making him faint.
Friends rushed forward to support him, and he barely managed to stand.
Zhou Nianyuan said, “Xu Zhou said that you should remain good friends when you meet in the future.”
In fact, his friends and Zhou Nianyuan knew about Xu Zhou’s plan but kept it from Gu Jingchen.
Xu Zhou loved deeply. Even though Gu Jingchen had hurt him, he asked his friends to accompany and comfort Gu Jingchen, hoping they could help him through this difficult time.
Because he knew that Gu Jingchen wouldn’t be able to accept his departure right away.
Hearing Zhou Nianyuan’s words, tears streamed down Gu Jingchen’s face.
From childhood to adulthood, he had lived happily like a fool, and all his tears were shed for Xu Zhou.
Author’s note:
Labor Day is almost over. Now I wish everyone a happy Labor Day. Is it too late? Sorry.
Don’t scold Jingchen. Jingchen is about to be cremated (feeling a bit excited about this).
Finally, my dear readers, praise me quickly! Over 5000 words! Long, long, long!
Thanks to the little angels who voted for me or irrigated with nutrient solutions~
Thanks to the little angels who irrigated with nutrient solution:
凌落兮 1 bottle;
Thank you very much for your support, and I will continue to work hard!
