Cecilia Scarlette Locke’s Point of View
Pierre Kinsey is the only person I know I could trust in this world when we were little. And it turns out, the same applies even now. That is why when in my mind, I was busy. Busy as usual. When I was walking through the familiar hallways, and I’ve just recently told Samantha to go make me my coffee with lots of sugar in it. When it was supposed to be a normal day at work, knowing well enough that I’d be finishing a lot of documents before the deadline yet again. When I also knew that this would not be enough to satisfy myself, so I would head down to my apartment, hoping I could brainstorm some ideas on how to make myself more prominent in the media to enlarge my connections in the industry. And when in this dream, I knew that the door would be opening five seconds prior I even reach it to have something come out from it and run for me- that’s when I started calling for his name. His name only.
‘Pierre, I’m sorry for always causing trouble, but please help me!’
I run as fast as my legs could take me, but the distance between the creature that came out from the door was getting shorter and shorter. I do not wish to see her, but bulge eyes and skewered neck, its face half-covered by its hair- no! I do not need to look at it anymore.
My legs are beginning to feel like jello, making me slow down than I was intending to. I need to run or the unknown creature would catch up to me.
“Take him back. Take him here. Take Pierre Kinsey here before the deadline. Before the deadline.”
When would I even decide to wake up? How could you even wake yourself up?
I hope Kinsey notices that something seems wrong. I hope Pierre saves me again just this time.
I took a quick glance, and I almost shriek when it tried to grab me. It almost clawed my face. My supposed beautiful face that everyone envied. The perfect porcelain skin and reddish-licious lips- without knowing that most of these are not even that way from the very start.
“Failed and you’ll never be a Locke. You were never even a Locke.”
I was determined to run for my life, but my physical physique decided to give up on me. Darkness clamour unto me when I faced the creature that was running after me for a while now. I squeeze my eyes shut as I mentally pray for Kinsey to finally shake me out of here-
-My eyes shot open.
My body jerked, and I could not decipher the soft and warm sensation against my lips. It doesn’t mold perfectly in, but when green met brown, I was quick to throw myself away from the farthest I could.
Out of breath from all the running, my fingers presses against the spot on my lips where some flame of sizzling fizzles crept to its surface.
What was that? How did we end up this way? The creature from my dream doesn’t even make sense, and now I am in this spectacular situation.
Kinsey didn’t seem to know how to respond either. I could tell that he was caught off guard as well. He was caught red-handed. But shouldn’t I be more surprised? I came from a dreadful nightmare, and now this? I was not even given a minute for a breather.
He was the first one to break the ice by clearing his throat. “I- How was your sleep?” He started as he backed away while scratching the back of his neck.
Are we playing ignorance now?
I took the opportunity to move from the floor as well. “Good.” I replied, the nightmare being the least of my priority right now. “Mmm… How are you feeling? Do you need anything?” I asked softly.
I took the thermometer that I’ve used earlier when he was sleeping and awkwardly handed it to him. Kinsey was biting his lower lip, pondering something for himself, and I could only imagine what it is about.
“It’s normal for us to kiss.” I said in a much more straightforward way than I thought I would. The way I’ve said it sounded wrong as if I am enforcing the idea towards him. “I mean, we are supposed to be getting married.” I added it with a much softer tone, hoping that would fix the ambiance.
Kinsey looked at me, his eyes widening a little. He was searching for something from me that I do not know of, but when my second statement came out, his eyes drifted back to the sheets. Was he expecting something else? I am only stating a fact.
With only the weight of the heavy atmosphere to dwell on, I sat at the edge of his bed, thinking and replaying the dream I had.
All I did is trouble him.
But despite that, all he was is helpful still. Even after all these years, we stayed in that setup after meeting for what seemed like a long time of not seeing each other. Guilt once again crawled onto my chest as if graveling my insides desperately. The least I could do is oblige to his single request.
This is my problem, I should deal with this on my own. I am not sure if this decision stems from what I’ve seen earlier or what. If ever, that nightmare was showcasing how much I am running out of time and yet I am thinking of letting it go. I mean, what’s scarier? Losing what I’ve worked for or losing Kinsey?
A difficult decision when I do not like losing in the first place.
“Are you hungry? Do you want me to cook a little something for you, Cece? I feel a lot better now. Thank you for accompanying me today.” Kinsey lets out a small chuckle. I know well enough I could play along and circle away from the real problem at hand just so I could bring it up another time, hoping I could get the results that I wanted. But I could also just give it up.
“It’s okay if you do not return to the company with me.” I finally said it in a low monotonous voice of surrender. Kinsey had to stop his awkward laugh before looking back at me in confusion. Do not tell me he wanted an explanation now?
It’s not me to make such an impulse decision and especially not because of a circumstance such as a dream. A might regret it later. This might only be because of the sentiment of what Kinsey and I have in the past, but I am holding onto it right now. That nightmare of not being able to be enough has always been there. I do not want to force another person just for me to benefit. It’s not like I would benefit as a whole and disperse that bad dream altogether if he came. I believe this is the most rational decision right now.
I let out a slight shrug. “It’s not like you’ll go with me whatever I do or say. I don’t want a repeat of what happened this morning. I don’t want to fight and force you to marry me. I realized you were right that this is the life I’ve chosen and-”
“Who told you that I do not want to marry you?” Kinsey cuts me off with that deadpanned look on his face.
I furrowed my brows. “Eh?” What is he saying now? I am finally giving him what he wanted, and now he is trying to loop me back into his mind games. He is not making any sense at all. “You did?”
“Ahhh… My head.” Kinsey shook his head as if he is getting a hold of himself. I am not sure what he is getting on to. Unlike before, I do not know the Kinsey now. I’ll let it pass. He is still sick. I need to figure out my next steps once I’ve gotten back to the mansion. I can’t stay in this town for too long if this is going to be the path that I am going to take.
“But make sure to not overwork yourself again when I return home.” I said. It’s Kinsey’s time to look at me with confusion.
I then darted my gaze to the study table nearby. I assumed that he followed it as he lets out a mortifying yell. “A-ah What happened?!” Urgency and anxiousness mixed up through his voice like a bottle capped soda.
The table was more than organized. The stacks of paper were cleanly segregated and obviously moved to show organization and cleanliness. No more empty cups of coffee nor wrappers of chocolate. The pens are in their right places, and other stationary stuff away from the table is to be kept in their respective drawers. The study was completely rehabilitated.
“I checked the papers for you.” I said proudly before looking back at him. “I thought I’d be more useful if I do the things I know I can.” I said. It was better than pretending to be a housewife.
“I-I see.” I could tell that Kinsey was reluctant to his response, but I could totally get that. I did go through his stuff without permission.
“Do not worry. I followed the key to corrections even though your answers in numbers 23 and 46 were both wrong. You should double-check them once you’re better.” I stated in defense. He must’ve thought that I went on with my own judgment. I mean, I would, but I’ve realized that this will just double the work for Kinsey, so I worked again on it.
“You didn’t have to do that, though. You’ve done more than enough for me.” He replied.
This is the right time to tell him that I don’t deserve his gratitude because technically, all I’ve given him was a headache. But unfortunately, I do not have it in me to admit that to him yet. Maybe, next time. In another life.
“But I have to.” I announced. I crawl my way back in front of him, much as to his surprise. I smile mischievously before reaching out for both of his cheeks. I tilted my head a little as he stared right back at me. Kinsey slowly closed his eyes. “I have to because I reckon someone has been pulling too many all-nighters, enough to make him go sick!” I exclaimed as I traced the bags under his eyes with my thumbs.
I pulled my hands away from his face, my statement enough to surprise him and open his eyes. I smile weakly. “Don’t work yourself too much.”
Kinsey looks back at me as if letting it all sink before he erupted with laughter. “I can’t believe that is coming from you.” He pointed out before once again shaking his head.
I arched my eyebrow to question him, which I think he didn’t catch. “You’re already laughing and making fun of me. I am glad you’re starting to feel better.” I smile weakly. “I’ll be returning home later or tomorrow. “I said, still not sure on how I would be breaking the news down to my grandfather that I failed yet again.
“Let me at least cook you a meal before you go? As a thank you?” He said, making my face soften. I placed a hand against his forehead to check his warmth. I heard from Emily that this is also a good way to determine his fever. I still don’t understand how it works. I mean, I won’t be able to pinpoint its precision.
“No. It’s okay.” I said, standing up and straightening my clothes. “Since you’re feeling better now, it’s better that I should leave. Rest some more, okay?”
“I-I will walk you out and hail you some taxi.” He stammered.
I gave him an eye. “Didn’t I just tell you to rest some more?” I said sternly before eventually smiling it off. “Rest. Take care of yourself more.”
He nods, even if it was only reluctantly.
“It was nice seeing you, Cecilia.” He said as I picked up my things from the floor.
“Thank you for everything as well, Kinsey.” I smile weakly. “I’m glad you’re doing well.”
“Will you visit again?”
“Hmmm? I thought you wanted to get rid of me already.” I chuckled softly.
“No. You know it’s nothing like that.”
“Maybe? You still owe me a date to the museum too.” I said as I pushed my hair from my face. I won’t return here. Not ever. This may be the last time you ever see me again- I don’t know anymore. Unlike before, my future is so unstable as it slowly crumbles from the stacks of cards I ever so slowly build.
Kinsey smiles. A smile that eventually makes me smile too after a short period of time with him. “Noted. I’ll make sure to make it happen. Be ready.”
“I will. I’ll be going now.” I said flatly before waving and turning my heel to face the door. I am a little bit uneasy if I am going to be honest. After I leave this door, I would be me again. And what’s more to me than work? Especially now that I was now kicked out from that supposed work as well.
How stressful.
“Wait!”
I stopped in my tracks before facing him again. “You want my number?” I asked, shooting my shot. Because after everything that has been said and done, I know that I do not want it to disappear- the comfort that I’ve found in Kinsey, the friendship that recedes time. And even a tiny connection such as this would help slow down the transition of losing track of each other once again. And for me, that would be enough already. At least I’ll have something to hold onto even if it’s not long-lasting, even if it’s superficial.
