Cecilia Scarlette Locke’s Point of View
Happiness.
What does it take for a person to be happy?
I always thought that I am delighted because I can get everything I want. Is that enough? Of course, the answer would always be no. People are greedy and selfish. The thing you wanted most could only make you happy the moment you’ve gotten it, but the rest of your world will simply go back into revolving like normal after that very short period of time. That’s how lucrative the human brain works.
Then I thought that the least I could do is to be pleased. Unlike many others, I have the money not only to buy what I want but also my needs. That’s straightforward enough. I am privileged and had no worries growing up. But then, to what extent does my need goes? Money and materials could only give me so much- I’ve already learned that the hardway. For that, I wanted to be seen as a human and not just as a matter that anyone could take advantage of to get some cash or have the favor of my family. I am not a working ATM.
what sense of purpose do I need to uphold for me to be truly satisfied? i wish to be seen, but to be seen as what? for years I’ve searched for an answer but it never caved in.
At a young age, locked up in my castle, I did my best for the promised future. My future was already planned even before I could utter my first word and following that life pattern become my happiness, I guess. When I ace my tests and do better than people older than me. I almost thought that I was a genius destined for the better things in life. But those fantasy dreams had to go when Pierre and Alexander were introduced before me. With very different aspects and perceptions, they showed me their own way of how the world revolved around them- that there was more to life than I saw fit.
“So, had you figured it out?”
“Huh?” I breathed out like reflex as Kinsey’s waning face appeared in front of me out of nowhere.
He flashed me a kind smile as he took his seat from across me. “You know, the thing you want outside your family company. There must be something, right?” He insisted.
Yes, there me must be something else out of this hollow shell that I had been living in for the past couple of years. But to be honest, I haven’t had the time to think about it myself. All I knew is that I wanted to take the business to make my grandparents happy with me for once. Never had I thought of something that I’ve wanted on my own.
If I am not a Locke then what am I supposed to be?
“Why are you frowning? This is supposed to be fun. You don’t have to be bound in a forced marriage nor pursue something you had never seen yourself doing for the next 50 years.”
I looked up at Kinsey and raised a brow at him. Here he goes again with that matrimony thing. I am taking him suspiciously, to be honest. Why keep on bringing it up when you do not want to do anything with it. He has some issues.
“Don’t tell me you don’t have anything in your mind right now.” Kinsey ought to ask, but we both know how I am, so it came out as a statement.
“Something that I want…” I whispered.
Now I had a thought.
“What if I try to do gigs that my grandparents disliked? I am not sure if I would like them, but if I get to try, maybe I’d like something at some point.” I said as if I am asking for his stamp of validation.
Kinsey smiles. “We could start there. But isn’t that quite rebellious of you, huh?” He then chuckled a little. Oh, if he heard what I’ve said to my grandparents, he would think that I am a devil. “To do the things they don’t approve before. I like that. You do not need validations from anyone.”
“Aren’t I being rebellious already? I left home and now won’t show up to work.” I replied as a matter of fact.
“Are we going today? Do you need a ride home anywhere?” He asked enthusiastically.
I raised a brow at him as I completely slumped into the couch. “Don’t you have a place to be in?” I asked. “You should not worry about me. I am still an able adult. My assets have just been frozen or something. As soon as I get to that, I would be good to go again. “ I added.
“I was planning on getting to the university tomorrow while we do your stuff and maybe go to the mall to buy things for our apartment. The place still looks kind of empty to me.” Kinsey said with his goofy grin.
“Can’t we shop next time? Haven’t you heard me? I do not have the cash right now.”
“That makes it better!”
“Excuse me?” I crossed my arms against my chest.
Kinsey bit his tongue as he scratched the back of his head. “I mean, I should do the spending right now. All I want is simple shopping too. Knowing you, you might buy grand things if you have the money.” Kinsey tried to explain, but for me, he still doesn’t make any sense. Why shop if you do not like nice things? “Please? I’ll let you buy our food one time as soon as you figure out your finances.” He added quickly as a sign of negotiation.
I run a hand through my hair. “Alright then. Let me just grab a coat and a hair tie. You are driving me crazy.” I exclaimed. “We are not even fully settled in yet, and you already wanted to buy more things to organize and clean up.” Not to mention the fact that never had I ever considered doing these kinds of things. I mean, why bother when you have workers to do that for you?
“I want to do it all in one already.” I heard him call out as I was already climbing up the stairs.
“On second thoughts, give me 30 minutes. I’ll send in some email before we go.” I yelled from the other side of the concrete wall. This shopping will help me get my mind off things while these people take their precious time to reply and take action on the matters at hand. Yes, this will help me be less anxious too. Nice going, Kinsey.
“Workaholic.”
“I heard that!” I exclaimed, fully making my way to my room now to do what’s needed to be done as quick as possible. Even if it’s the patient Kinsey waiting for me, I do not wish for him to wait too long. I am aware of how expensive time is.
…
“When you said thirty minutes, I’ve expected thirty minutes and more. Not 10 minutes and lesser?!” Kinsey complained like a little kid as he took his ass to the driver’s seat. I blinked back at him in confusion. He has been complaining for a while since I showed up to knock on his door.
“Aren’t you supposed to be happy that your waiting time happened to be shorter?” I shot back.
“Well, no. When you kicked me out of the shower!” Kinsey responded, his whole face reddening at the thought. His ears are even wiggling red in embarrassment as well.
“I beg to disagree. You were the one who opened the door as you were in the middle of showering. Why would you even shower when you’ve asked me to go out?”
“Hello? You said thirty minutes?” Kinsey gave me an ‘unbelievable’ kind of look, enough to make me roll my eyes as I look outside, tucking my arms against my chest.
“I’ve already composed my emails last night. It was only a matter of contemplation whether I am to send those or not.” I muttered.
“You could’ve informed me then.” Kinsey sighed, running his fingers against his wet undone hair. “Did you even get me a clean towel?” He asked.
I took a glance at him. “Yes, I did. I took one while you were running around the place.” I said before taking out a yellow towel so that he could drape it over his shoulders before he started the car engine and drove.
…
“So what are we to buy?” I asked as we set foot over the building. To be honest, I am not really a mall kind of going kind of person. I rather have packages delivered and open them like Christmas presents.
“Things for the kitchen and living room. I would also need to set up a desk.” Kinsey enumerated as his eyes round over the shops inside the mall.
“We also need produce and food. As well as bathroom necessities.” this basically came out as a whisper as I realize how much work we need to be doing. Settling is no mere joke. Kinsey made it all sound so easy yesterday. “Scratch going to my future gigs, we won’t be able to accomplish everything today.” I stated the obvious.
But Kinsey looked at me with that tantalizing look in his eyes. “Yea, but isn’t this exciting? There’s a whole new possibility of what would make up our home.” He exclaimed.
I seriously had to cringe.
“You’re being too sentimental. It’s not like I would live there forever… But this is definitely nice for a change. I feel like I am independent on a whole new level.” I said as I at least tried to match his enthusiasm. I am indeed one sheltered girl. I’ve never had an experience like this before simply because I always had lived my life in the mansion or any hotels already booked out for me by my secretary. “For now, though, will it be okay to first buy the things needed for the kitchen, and then we go get the groceries?” I suggested.
Kinsey smiles wider. “Mhmmm. Sure. Whatever is fine by me.” He said. “I know a proper place to get our kitchen appliances.” He exclaimed. And without further missing a beat, he took me by my wrist and tagged me along to the store nearby.
…
If there’s anything I wish I knew about Kinsey the first time I met him after years of last seeing each other, it is this. Shopping in lifestyle with Kinsey is like shopping with a girl on a lookout for her prom outfit or a new dress: it will be crazy and I would need all the will and patience I could muster because that guy is seriously serious about what he wanted and how he wanted to do things.
“This is the 13th fridge we had seen in this mall, Kinsey. Can you please make up your mind?” I asked as I looked over at the staff apologetically.
“You do not think this will be too small for us?”
“I would’ve said too big, but this is our third store, and I do not really want to go to our fourth one.” I huffed as I placed my fists against my hips. My legs are already killing me. I do not think I would be able to take it if he would go bananas like this to all of the things we ought to buy.
“There’s a fourth appliance shop?” Kinsey’s head popped up.
I turned towards the sales staff with a horrid expression while he looked back at me with a not so confused one.
“I am sorry, but we will get back to you if this man didn’t find anything fancy in the other shops. Thank you, and I am sorry for the troubles that we had caused.” I smile awkwardly. If I am in normal circumstances, I would’ve just handed him cash for all of his efforts and avoided awkward moments like this, but because of everything that happened, I was forced to stick an apology and leave in shame.
Ugh. This is why I do not like shopping in the malls as much as I could restrain it.
