After enduring the blow this morning, Flying Melon’s head was already throbbing. Hearing that the caller wasn’t the media reporter he had expected, but the detestable Ye Zhou, made his headache even worse.
He pressed firmly against his philtrum, trying to avoid passing out from excessive agitation1人中 (rén zhōng) – philtrum / infranasal depression / the “human center” acupuncture point. According to TCM, stimulating specific acupoints can influence the flow of vital energy (Qi) in the body, promoting health and preventing illness. The “renzhong” point is believed to be associated with consciousness, resuscitation, and maintaining alertness. Pressing the “renzhong” acupoint is thought to help restore balance and prevent fainting or loss of consciousness during extreme emotional states..
Though his heart was racing, Melon refused to appear weak in front of his nemesis. He took a deep breath, adjusted his breathing, and tried to sound nonchalant. “What is it?”
He thought he had concealed his emotions well, but his heavy breathing betrayed his true feelings, which Ye Zhou could hear clearly on the other end.
Stifling a laugh, Ye Zhou coughed lightly and teased Melon for a bit before getting to the point. “Melon, the Weibo post you mocked me with this morning went viral, didn’t it?”
Sometimes when you do something, it doesn’t feel significant. But when someone else points it out, especially the person involved, the embarrassment can be overwhelming, even for someone as thick-skinned as Flying Melon.
“Ah, um, what’s the matter?” he tried to brush it off, his face flushed with embarrassment.
Ye Zhou, still holding back laughter, said, “Nothing much. I just wanted to thank you for the free advertising. Thanks to your post, there have been a lot of online discussions. Everyone wants to know if ‘Thriller Circus’ is worth watching. Thanks to you, we’ve gotten a wave of reverse promotion. There are already two hot search topics about the movie.”
“According to our staff, the morning’s box office sales have already surpassed the first three days’ combined. Many cinemas have expressed a willingness to increase the number of screenings for us.”
Flying Melon nearly passed out from fury. If anger could manifest physically, his forehead would have been at a horrifyingly high level.
He gritted his teeth. “You’re welcome.”
Just as he was about to hang up, Ye Zhou seemed to anticipate his intention. “Don’t hang up. Let me finish.”
Flying Melon rolled his eyes, thinking, ‘If I listen to you, am I still Melon?’ Yet his hand hesitated to press the end call button.
Pacing back and forth in the small bathroom stall, he gruffly asked, “Spit it out, what’s the matter? I have to get back to work soon!”
Ye Zhou fell silent for a few seconds, then slapped his forehead and muttered, “Oh, sorry, I forgot you’re no longer a social media influencer.”
Just as Melon was feeling better, that remark ripped open his wound!!
His anger, which had just subsided, surged back up, and he nearly crushed his phone in his grip.
Why did he stop doing self-media? Being one meant quick money, ease, and freedom. Was he crazy to work at this lousy company?
It was all because of Ye Zhou! If not for him, his reputation in the industry wouldn’t have plummeted, leading to a point where no one approached him for movie reviews, let alone advertisements. He wouldn’t have been unable to support himself, forcing him to change careers!
With each word from Ye Zhou, Melon felt another knife twisting inside him. By the time Ye Zhou finished speaking, Melon felt like he was covered in wounds.
Clutching his chest, he struggled to say, “I have to go to work. Goodbye.”
“Your post has sparked online discussions. People are quite interested in your opinion and want to know what you think of the movie.” Ye Zhou dropped the playful tone and grew serious.
“Heh.” Flying Melon scoffed coldly. “My opinion? Of course, it’s utterly embarrassing. Don’t you have any confidence in the movie you directed? Why ask me? You’re just inviting humiliation!”
Ye Zhou raised an eyebrow, his voice calm and unhurried. “Precisely because I directed this movie, I have a clear understanding of its quality.”
“Tsk.” Flying Melon sneered contemptuously. He was about to unleash a torrent of mockery when Ye Zhou’s sudden question caught him off guard.
“Have you actually watched the movie?”
Flying Melon instinctively wanted to say yes, but the words stuck in his throat. He could grit his teeth and lie, but who knew what bizarre questions Ye Zhou might ask next?
What if he asked about specific details Melon couldn’t answer? That would be truly humiliating.
But if he admitted to not watching it, then what did all his previous mocking posts and reviews amount to? Wouldn’t that be slapping his own face?
Melon hadn’t even watched the movie, yet he had written long, detailed reviews. If he admitted this, his already tarnished reputation in the industry would be ruined, and the accounts he had painstakingly built over the years would likely become unusable. His future in this field would be over.
Flying Melon stammered, unable to give a coherent response. He tried to change the subject several times, but Ye Zhou didn’t give him that chance.
From Melon’s words and reactions, Ye Zhou had already guessed the answer. He sighed with feigned melancholy, “Alas, I always thought you were a critic with professional integrity.”
“Honestly, I’ve always admired you critics. I thought that even if you disliked my work, for the sake of artistic value and the betterment of the film industry, upholding the noble mission of a critic, you would at least fully watch the movie before writing a review.”
With each condescending remark, Ye Zhou piled on more humiliation until Flying Melon’s face was flushed red, and the typically glib man was at a loss for words to defend himself.
“I…I did watch your movie-” Flying Melon was about to stubbornly insist he had seen it, but Ye Zhou cut him off mid-sentence.
Ye Zhou sighed, his voice heavy with world-weariness. “You don’t need to say anything, I understand. How about this? I remember you live in City A. Tonight at 8:30 PM, at Galaxy Cinema, let me treat you to watch the movie.”
“Whether you’ve seen it or not, consider it a favor to me. Go watch my movie.”
His words sounded quite reasonable, giving Flying Melon a way out. If he had seen it, it would be a re-watch. If not, he could watch it, and Ye Zhou could hear his honest opinion, good or bad.
Of course, Flying Melon wanted to refuse. With their history, who would want to watch a movie together? For all he knew, Ye Zhou might have people waiting at the cinema to throw a bag over his head!
“So did you watch it or not?” Ye Zhou muttered. “If you really don’t have time, no need to force it. A reporter from Xinhui News is interviewing me today, and they said they’ve already contacted you.”
As soon as Ye Zhou finished speaking, Melon’s phone vibrated with messages from his boss.
Son of a Turtle2This is a literal translation bec. 1. I find it funny and 2. I don’t think naming your boss as Bastard/ Son of a bitch in your contact is appropriate. 王八羔子 (wáng bā gāo zi) – son of a bitch / bastard: A reporter wants to interview you. I said yes on your behalf.
Son of a turtle: I’m giving you the afternoon off to handle this. Remember to advertise for the company during the interview. I’ve had the secretary write a document for you, sending it now. Memorize it, so you can speak smoothly later.
Son of a turtle: ‘The other party has sent you a file’ Company Promotion Script.txt
Son of a turtle: Reply when you receive it.
Flying Melon was so upset that he wished he could smash his phone and eat the pieces.
Over the speakerphone, Ye Zhou continued, “They said around 4 PM for the interview, but I haven’t confirmed yet. I seem to have something in the afternoon, but if you want to go, it’s not impossible. I can tell them now to schedule it for…”
“8:30, right? See you there!”
Gritting his teeth in anger, Flying Melon had no choice but to agree, quickly typing in the chat with his boss: “Received. Thank you, Mr. Li.”
The interview was at 4 PM, and it was already nearly 3 o’clock. Even if he wanted to quickly watch the movie beforehand, there wasn’t enough time.
As Ye Zhou said, if he accepted the reporter’s interview, they would undoubtedly ask why he had bashed Thriller Circus as a terrible movie. If he couldn’t give a legitimate reason, he would be finished in this industry.
He had to swallow this bitter pill.
With the time set with Ye Zhou and the afternoon off from his boss, Melon scoured the internet, meticulously recording two full pages of negative reviews about Thriller Circus.
At 8 PM, outside Galaxy Cinema.
Ye Zhou cheerfully waved at Melon approaching from afar. “Melon, over here!”
Flying Melon’s already unpleasant expression turned even sourer. He wished he could turn and leave, but Ye Zhou held damaging information over him. As reluctant as he was, he walked toward Ye Zhou.
Aside from the greeting, there was little interaction between them. The few exchanges were initiated by Ye Zhou, but sensing Melon’s unwillingness to engage, he stopped making pointless attempts.
At 8:25, this odd pair silently joined the crowd to get their tickets checked and enter.
To Melon’s dismay, the massive theater was nearly full. Knowing he was partly responsible for this impressive turnout made his teeth ache with anger.
As the thought of his timid nature being forced to watch a horror film crossed Flying Melon’s mind, his teeth ached even more!
As the movie was about to start, Ye Zhou noticed his apparent nervousness and kindly reassured him, “Don’t be nervous, this movie isn’t that scary.”
While Melon could be rude online, face-to-face with Ye Zhou’s well-intentioned reminder, even he couldn’t bring himself to lash out viciously.
“Hm!” he grunted curtly, turning his gaze to the screen as the film began playing.
Flying Melon had always been faint-hearted. While other children huddled together to watch horror movies, he always kept his distance. He could count on one hand the number of thrillers he had watched from childhood to adulthood.
Knowing his own limits, he rarely challenged himself with horror movies. This time, forced into the cinema, he had not only collected negative reviews that afternoon but also noted the movie’s high-intensity moments. to mentally prepare himself with these ‘cheat sheets’.
He wasn’t fully prepared, but he was confident that with this mental preparation and ‘cheat tools,’ he wouldn’t be scared by even the most terrifying scenes.
Hearing Ye Zhou’s reassurance, Melon inwardly scoffed with disdain.
Today, he was determined to watch the entire movie with a poker face, to let Ye Zhou see just how bad his so-called horror film really was!
It was a matter of male pride and dignity, mixed with professional reputation. Flying Melon was resolute in not showing weakness; whoever did was a dog!
As the opening credits rolled, Melon remained stoically composed.
When the bloodied male lead played by Xu Fei appeared bleeding from all seven orifices3七窍 (qī qiào) – the seven apertures of the human head: 2 eyes, 2 ears, 2 nostrils, 1 mouth, with wide, lifeless eyes, seemingly staring right at Melon through the screen, his hands trembled slightly.
When the woman’s flesh sizzled against the ring of fire, accompanied by shrill screams and the thunderous sound of heavy objects crashing, Melon’s entire body shuddered.
Nearing the end, as the frail man died and the remaining two hid in a tent, engulfed by a massive looming shadow outside, Melon had turned deathly pale, chills running down his spine.
As the lights came on after the credits, Ye Zhou turned to ask his opinion but found Melon staring blankly at the screen, muttering something under his breath, unable to tear his haunted gaze away.
Ye Zhou leaned in closer and heard him muttering.
“Honor to those who love the motherland, and shame on those who harm the motherland; Honor to those who serve the people…”4Part of the Eight Honors and Eight Shames. The Eight Honors and Eight Shames (八荣八耻) is a set of moral concepts developed by former General Secretary Hu Jintao for the citizens of the People’s Republic of China. It serves as a moral code and a yardstick to measure the behavior and attitudes of individuals, especially Communist Party cadres. Translation was taken from Wikipedia.
It took a while for him to regain his composure. Just as Ye Zhou was about to show some concern, Flying Melon turned to him first with a dazed look and said, “Didn’t you say it wasn’t scary?”
Ye Zhou: “Ah? It was scary? No, no it wasn’t, right?”
Flying Melon stared at him for a few seconds before uttering, “Not scary.”
“Heh, boring. Extremely boring.”
With that, he abruptly stood up, not even bothering to say anything more to Ye Zhou, and rushed straight towards the cinema exit.
Ye Zhou watched his retreating figure and after a few seconds, suddenly felt that something was off and called out, “Uh, Melon…”
Flying Melon maintained his stride but turned his head back.
Ye Zhou’s voice held a hint of hesitation, “You, uh, you’re going the wrong way.”
Flying Melon: “……!”
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