With that said, Qin Yuanxi suddenly understood.
Zhao Tuo’s recent odd behavior wasn’t really about having a falling out with Qin Yuanxi. It was only when he realized that Qin Yuanxi wasn’t the puppet emperor he used to be, no longer the one to resort to force first, that Zhao Tuo’s discontented emotions surfaced.
His initial target was the former Emperor Qin Yuanxi, clearly back then, Emperor Qin Yuanxi had a considerable fear of Prince Lu. Behind the scenes, there were some subtle maneuvers, and the relationship between the sovereign and the subject was strained. The emperor was likely always thinking about how to take his life. In such a scenario, Zhao Tuo developed the idea of taking his place.
On this point, Lu Bohuan might not have overtly shown it, but he likely had entertained similar thoughts. Perhaps during quiet nights, he may have thought about the same idea. Zhao Tuo naturally assumed that Lu Bohuan was on the same front with him. However, things changed with the emergence of Qin Yuanxi and the tangled affairs between him and Zhao Tuo. This led to a shift in Lu Bohuan’s perspective. The small spark of rebellion he once had was thrown into the distant clouds. Moreover, he even became Qin Yuanxi’s mentor, wholeheartedly assisting him in being a good emperor.
Different from Lu Bohuan, Zhao Tuo is pathological.
Lu Bohuan can discern and comprehend things clearly. What is clear to Lu Bohuan is confusing to Zhao Tuo. This confusion lingers in his mind, tormenting him at every moment.
On one hand, driven by instinct, he wanted to be good to Qin Yuanxi. But on the other hand, he was still preoccupied with his own agenda, mindful of the past fear and caution Emperor Qin Yuanxi had for him. He would subconsciously think of this as a trap. In the midst of these complex and entangled emotions, Zhao Tuo ultimately followed the original path he had set.
He believed he would succeed, yet, unexpectedly, when things reached a critical moment, Lu Bohuan appeared and prevented him.
At that moment, Zhao Tuo felt a sudden calmness wash over his heart.
Was he not angry? He was, but that feeling was different from before. For a long time, he had been in confusion, his emotions tangled up in a mess, making it impossible for Zhao Tuo to distinguish whether he was happy or sad, or experiencing some other emotion. Many things were mixed together, tightly enveloping him.
However, when he regained clarity, when he realized he had a knife at Qin Yuanxi’s throat, all his emotions became clear. Anger was anger, heartache was heartache, guilt was guilt.
“I… I don’t know how to face you.”
That became Zhao Tuo’s state afterward, a state that persisted for a long time.
From the time Qin Yuanxi gave birth to the child, to their return to the palace, and even up until now, he didn’t know how to face Qin Yuanxi.
Upon hearing these words, Qin Yuanxi became a bit annoyed and directly reached out to twist Zhao Tuo’s ear. “Hehe, do you still have any justification? Don’t know how to face it, so you put on a cold face, not even a single kind word. Look at you, acting all high and mighty!”
“No,” Zhao Tuo wanted to explain but felt that his explanation wasn’t sincere enough. He could only take Qin Yuanxi’s hand and place it on his heart, slowly saying, “I didn’t put on a cold face, I just didn’t speak. I don’t know how to say it, there’s a lot, and I don’t know how to say it.”
That feeling when all emotions are ready to burst out, but suddenly get stuck in the throat, making it hard to open the mouth, not knowing what to say or where to start. There’s even a bit of reluctance to speak.
“I messed things up.”
Zhao Tuo lowered his eyes, “I know.”
Looking at Zhao Tuo’s expression, Qin Yuanxi suddenly couldn’t find the words to say. He reached out and stroked Zhao Tuo’s hair, slowly leaning on his shoulder.
Qin Yuanxi thought he should be able to understand that feeling. Zhao Tuo must have gone through a tough time, recognizing his mistake on his own made Qin Yuanxi feel it was enough. The journey of those emotions was something Qin Yuanxi wanted to accompany him through, but Zhao Tuo had walked through it alone.
“It’s okay, you handled it in the end, and it didn’t cause serious consequences.”
Qin Yuanxi was about to offer some comforting words, recognizing the difficulty of the inner journey. The fact that Zhao Tuo acknowledged his mistake and apologized voluntarily already made Qin Yuanxi happy. The next step could be a sweet time of love.
But that didn’t happen.
As soon as Zhao Tuo heard Qin Yuanxi’s words, his brow immediately furrowed. “I will thank him.”
The ‘him’ referred to Lu Bohuan.
Before Qin Yuanxi could process this, Zhao Tuo quite dominantly wrapped his arms around Qin Yuanxi’s waist, encircling him possessively and even issuing a stern warning.
“You, not allowed to like him.” As if to assert his dominance, Zhao Tuo left a mark on Qin Yuanxi’s neck, a territorial move similar to a protective animal. Content only when others smell their scent on them, Zhao Tuo declared, “You are mine, not allowed to like him. We are the couple here!”
Qin Yuanxi: …???
Jealousy truly is a difficult thing to handle.
“But, you two are originally the same person.” Qin Yuanxi cautiously uttered, observing Zhao Tuo’s reaction.
As soon as he said this, Zhao Tuo immediately snorted, “Impossible. I am me, he is him. We just look a bit alike, but we are different!”
Seemingly eager to make Qin Yuanxi confirm, Zhao Tuo urgently pointed to a small black mole at the corner of his eye, “I have this here, he doesn’t!”
“He has!” Qin Yuanxi asserted firmly, “I’ve seen it.”
The identical faces he had seen countless times, how could he not recognize them? Qin Yuanxi wanted to change the subject, but Zhao Tuo wasn’t having it.
“Impossible! And this, I have an arrow wound here; he definitely doesn’t!” Zhao Tuo pulled open his shirt, revealing a wound on the left side of his chest. If it had been a bit off, it might have been fatal.
“Tatu, the left general of the Barbarian Tribe, shot me. He wanted my life but didn’t expect to be defeated by me in the end.” When Zhao Tuo spoke of this, there was a hint of pride in his tone. “He was the best archer in the northwest, but unfortunately, he fell short compared to me.”
Touching the wound, Qin Yuanxi leaned in, kissed it, and then lifted his head to kiss Zhao Tuo’s lips. His kiss was light and gentle, almost devoid of desire, just a simple gesture of affection. After the kiss, Qin Yuanxi leaned on Zhao Tuo’s shoulder. “Yes, he doesn’t have it.”
So what if he doesn’t have it? What if he does? Zhao Tuo is a patient; why does he have to discuss these things with a patient? If Zhao Tuo can’t acknowledge Lu Bohuan’s existence, then so be it. What difference does it make?
However, Qin Yuanxi’s response didn’t appease Zhao Tuo. His body stiffened, his face changed. Gripping Qin Yuanxi’s shoulders, his voice trembled slightly. “He has it, right? Why is he exactly like me? Why? If he has everything I have, then what do I have left? Do I have anything at all? Everyone says I am the same person as him. If I am the same person as him, then who am I?”
“Who am I?” His eyes filled with confusion and pain, and Qin Yuanxi realized that something might be wrong.
Hastily, he cradled Zhao Tuo’s head in his arms. “You are you. You are Zhao Tuo, Xiao Bao’s father, just you.”
“Who am I? Who am I? Who am I?” However, Zhao Tuo’s emotions had become unstable. Unconsciously repeating these words, he seemed not to have absorbed anything Qin Yuanxi said. Regardless of what Qin Yuanxi tried to say afterward, Zhao Tuo gave him no response. He had fallen into a state of unconsciousness, uttering words without awareness. Qin Yuanxi became frantic, unable to do anything about it.
When Yan Shaoning was summoned in the middle of the night, he initially thought the Crown Prince’s condition had worsened again. He had brought medicines suitable for the Crown Prince, only to find out upon arrival that the person in trouble was General Zhao instead.
“Now, what do we do? He just doesn’t listen to me, doesn’t communicate. It’s like he…” Qin Yuanxi’s voice choked up. Holding onto Zhao Tuo, he looked at Yan Shaoning as if seeking help. “How is he really?”
“Your Majesty, please don’t worry. Let me assess the situation first.”
Yan Shaoning questioned Zhao Tuo, but there was no response. Zhao Tuo seemed to have regressed to an infantile state. He could only clutch Qin Yuanxi’s hand, uttering unconscious words and even showing some resistance to others’ touch.
Rubbing the area on his hand nearly swollen by Zhao Tuo’s resistance, Yan Shaoning shook his head. “Your Majesty, I’m afraid the worst-case scenario has occurred.”
“Are you saying he won’t wake up?” Qin Yuanxi’s eyes reddened. “I don’t believe it. It’s impossible. Even if you can’t do it, can’t someone else? You’re a divine physician. His illness is psychological, mental. If you can’t do it, it doesn’t mean others can’t. I… I will announce to the world, yes, gather talented individuals. Someone will have a solution. He’ll be fine; he will definitely get better!”
“I shouldn’t have pressured him. Why did I force him? I’m sorry, I’m sorry.” Qin Yuanxi held onto Zhao Tuo, his voice choked. “It’s my fault. Can you please get better quickly? As long as it’s you, it’s fine no matter what you want to be, okay?”
Unfortunately, Zhao Tuo didn’t give him any response.
Yan Shaoning couldn’t bear to watch, his eyes stinging a bit. He sighed and said to Qin Yuanxi, “Your Majesty, since you intend to gather talented individuals, I have a candidate in mind. Perhaps you could give it a try. However, this person is from the Miao region. Your Majesty should be aware that the Miao people are adept in the use of witchcraft and curses. If you want this person, there might be some risks involved.”
“Witchcraft cannot be used.” Qin Yuanxi didn’t agree. “That is sorcery, and he doesn’t need such things.”
“Your Majesty, the person I mentioned is skilled in the art of hypnosis. In the past, she had a conversation with the Prince in the royal palace. However, the details of what they discussed are unknown to outsiders. But since then, the Prince began to settle General Zhao.” Yan Shaoning added, “Perhaps hypnosis could be effective.”
Hypnosis?
Qin Yuanxi looked up. “Where is this person now? I will immediately send someone to invite her.”
“This…,” Yan Shaoning hesitated for a moment before saying, “She has a peculiar temperament. When she entered the royal palace, it was purely out of interest. People from the martial world can’t be invited; she has to be willing.”
“I will go personally.”
Hello, everyone ヾ(＾∇＾). I hope you enjoyed the story! If you’re feeling generous, please buy me a coffee, share/comment on my translated works! Check out the link below for early chapters. (๑>ᴗ<๑)
