Handing the program’s planning document to Ye Shanshan, Xu Luoyang suddenly became very concerned.
“Ye—ah, Shanshan, have you watched those outdoor variety shows on TV recently?”
“Call me Ye-ge,” Ye Shanshan, imitating Gong Yue’s authoritative tone, flipped through the planning document and recalled, “I watched a few minutes. Zheng Dong showed me. It was the episode where you fell out of the boat into the water, struggled for a long time, only to find that the water was shallow. It was really interesting.”
“…”
Xu Luoyang wiped his face, feeling that Ye Shanshan was going to talk him to death today. He quickly got to the point, “Current variety shows, especially outdoor ones, are very popular, but they like to play up character images.”
Seeing Ye Shanshan looking bewildered, Xu Luoyang felt a surge of patience and explained, “Each program is pre-arranged because they’re afraid the artists might deviate from the script and mess up the show. In other words, everyone has a script, and you’re given a character label that you have to portray in the show. It’s somewhat similar to a movie script, but not as detailed.”
Ye Shanshan closed the planning document and suddenly became curious. “If I go, what character label did the program give me? The world’s smartest?”
“A cold, picky aristocratic beauty.”
“…” Ye Shanshan, mimicking Xu Luoyang, wiped his face and looked at him with some confusion. “I don’t know if it’s my illusion, but I feel like it’s a bit too difficult.”
Xu Luoyang also felt that Ye Shanshan’s style, as the foolish son of a landlord who could be delighted for a week with a five-yuan ice cream, only barely touched upon the “beauty” aspect in those ten words.
After thinking for a moment, he suggested, “How about letting Zheng-ge go and talk to them, fooling the production team? I think you can play freely.”
So, the next day, the production team arrived at Xu Luoyang’s house early in the morning, set up the equipment, and prepared to start filming. They were surprised to see Ye Shanshan standing under a tree.
Because he was eating xiaolongbao with gusto in the morning breeze, devouring quite a few.
Ye Shanshan wore a V-neck sweater, showcasing his refined collarbones, and the tight jeans accentuated his slim waist and long legs. Even without makeup, he looked very photogenic, but his gaze was extremely bewildering.
As the group approached, Ye Shanshan looked over and then slowly waved the empty bag in his hand. “Good morning.”
Feeling that his condition wasn’t right, the cameraman assigned to Ye Shanshan asked, “Shanshan, are you not feeling well?”
Ye Shanshan shook his head, looking half-dead, his voice weak and listless. “You don’t have to call me Shanshan. Shanshan is long gone, can’t shine, can’t move anymore.”
At this moment, Xu Luoyang happened to come downstairs. Hearing Ye Shanshan’s numb words, he twitched the corners of his mouth and explained on the side, “He left home too early and didn’t wake up. Nothing’s wrong.”
The cameraman took a close-up look at the drowsy Ye Shanshan, couldn’t resist, and took a shot—falling asleep could also be so photogenic; it was truly remarkable.
Once on the car, Ye Shanshan curled up in the corner, closed his eyes, and began to sleep.
“Shan—”
“Call me Ye-ge.” Ye Shanshan, with closed eyes and a sleepy voice, full of drowsiness, said, “Let me sleep, or we won’t be able to play together again.”
“…”
Xu Luoyang also felt helpless. While other artists on variety shows were constantly adding screen time to themselves, eager for every second to focus on their faces, Ye Shanshan, on the other hand, brought a hat to block the light, covering his whole face. Only a smooth chin was visible.
Suddenly, he began to doubt whether bringing Ye Shanshan to participate in the variety show was a wrong choice.
A little over an hour later, the car stopped in an open area in the suburbs. Xu Luoyang nudged Ye Shanshan, saying, “Wake up, wake up.”
Ye Shanshan lifted the hat covering his face, his hair a bit messy, and stood up, revealing several stray hairs sticking up. He asked drowsily, “Are we here?”
“Mr. Ye, we’ve really arrived.”
Following Xu Luoyang out of the car, Ye Shanshan only then noticed that there were quite a few people at the scene— at least fifty to sixty staff members in total. They formed a dense crowd, and there were various equipment and vehicles brought by sponsors, taking up a significant space.
There were five groups of ten guests in total. Ye Shanshan didn’t recognize most of them. He quickly scanned the faces of everyone present, committing them to memory, and didn’t pay much attention afterward.
The consequences of excessive cultivation and an early wake-up were that he was physically present at the scene, but his soul remained by the side of the Demon King.
After standing still for a while, Ye Shanshan glanced at Xu Luoyang and suddenly realized, “Oh, you did your makeup?”
“I did it in the car, but just applied a layer of foundation,” Xu Luoyang replied. He then looked at Ye Shanshan’s skin with envy and jealousy. “The makeup artist said your skin is too pure; they didn’t want to use any chemical products to pollute your face. Shanshan, what did you eat to grow up like this?”
“Call me Ye-ge,” Ye Shanshan corrected him with some annoyance. Then, he kindly answered Xu Luoyang’s question, “I grew up drinking dew.”
Before Xu Luoyang could react, the uncle who had been filming by their side burst into laughter. Seeing both of them looking over, he quickly waved his hand. “You guys continue your conversation. I’ll just film casually.”
Ye Shanshan nodded and didn’t mind. He had grown up under various surveillance systems, and even his heart rate was connected to sensors. Therefore, being followed by cameras didn’t make him feel unnatural at all.
They chatted for a while, and after about fifteen minutes, the director, holding a loudspeaker, shouted from the side, “I’ll count to three, and then you all come out together, strike a pose or something. Here we go, one, two, three!”
The first to step out was a duo, their movements perfectly synchronized as they posed like Ultraman in front of the camera. Following them were two male actors, one standing and the other crouching, making a shooting gesture that should have looked handsome. However, without accompanying music or special effects, it seemed a bit awkward.
Ye Shanshan and Xu Luoyang were next in line. The two walked to their designated spot, then nodded toward the camera with similar gestures.
Observing the visual effect, the director found the unexpectedly pleasing outcome and waved the loudspeaker, “Alright, next group.”
Once the opening was finished, staff members came over to collect their phones and provided each person with a device sponsored by the program.
“It’s a bit cold in the suburbs and mountains, so our program sponsor, Xia Sportswear, has provided everyone with stylish jackets!”
In the script, this part was clearly marked with “cheers,” but the clothes they received were just too ugly. The ten individuals exchanged glances and unanimously decided to remain silent.
Each group had a different color for their clothes to distinguish them. Xu Luoyang received the sports jacket and looked at it several times, his face filled with shock.
“Half fluorescent green, half camouflage pattern. What kind of aesthetic sense does this designer have, dear human beings!”
Ye Shanshan also unfolded the jacket, finding the bright colors quite appealing. He particularly liked the fluorescent green.
“This color looks pretty good to me!” he commented.
As soon as he spoke, he noticed everyone around him giving him strange looks.
Ye Shanshan: “?”
Xu Luoyang cautiously asked him, “Are you consoling me, praising the sponsor, or speaking genuinely?”
“Genuinely.” He stated it firmly.
“…”
Suddenly, Xu Luoyang thought of a serious problem and leaned in, “Who buys your regular clothes? Lin Xiatian?”
Ye Shanshan shook his head, “It’s all bought by Gong Yue. After he buys them, he piles them in the closet. When I need to wear them, I look for them inside. But I’m not good at matching clothes. This outfit was also styled by Gong Yue this morning.” So Gong Yue worked hard.
At this moment, Xu Luoyang greatly admired Gong Yue’s foresight and deep consideration. He truly didn’t want Ye Shanshan to look like a signal light, flashing around in front of him and wasting such a good face.
After putting on the clothes, Xu Luoyang carefully inspected Ye Shanshan from head to toe, then silently took a step aside.
Ye Shanshan noticed the other’s movement, thinking that he might be strategically repositioning himself. So, he followed suit and took a step, still standing next to Xu Luoyang.
Xu Luoyang closed his eyes and took another step to the side. Perplexed, Ye Shanshan wondered if Xu Luoyang was playing around. However, before he could speak, the director, holding the loudspeaker, inquired, “Xu Luoyang, what are you doing? We can barely see you!”
Xu Luoyang directly shouted to the director, “I don’t want to be in the same frame as Ye Shanshan; it’ll lower the overall aesthetics!”
People around them also looked over. Both Ye Shanshan and Xu Luoyang wore fluorescent green camouflage jackets, which was fine. However, after Ye Shanshan put it on, his lips were red, teeth were white, and his overall appearance was stunning. Even his skin seemed to be glowing, completely overshadowing the peculiar color combination on his body.
Looking at Xu Luoyang again—
There’s a kind of ugliness called looking particularly ugly in comparison. There’s a kind of protection called no harm without a basis for comparison.
The director also understood, “Alright, stand a bit further, but not too far.”
Ye Shanshan felt so wronged, suddenly having a feeling of being abandoned by the whole world.
Misses the Great Demon King!
After the ten people were all ready, the director, holding the loudspeaker, stood in the center of the field.
“Welcome, everyone, to our ’48-Hour Challenge.’ After putting on the sportswear, everyone looks very eye-catching!”
When this sentence came out, all ten people made a sound of disdain, but the director pretended not to hear.
“Today, our mission is to spend a delightful 48 hours inside Yanhui Mountain. All the related items have been placed in your carriages, very complete… During this time, we will have task cards delivered to you. Good luck!”
After the dispersal, each group got into a seven-seater car, which was spacious, but there were also accompanying crew members, making the carriages somewhat crowded.
Ye Shanshan had already almost woken up. After staying quiet for two minutes, he suddenly became excited as if he had taken some stimulant.
“Luoyang, Luoyang, didn’t the director say we have equipment? Let’s check it out!”
Xu Luoyang was also curious. While unpacking the luggage, he complained, “This production team is really stingy. Once they only gave me a luggage with just a lighter—only one! A lighter! What use does a lighter have when it’s pouring rain? I almost decided to quit that day.”
Ye Shanshan nodded seriously, “Then let’s quit together for half a second!”
Xu Luoyang suddenly didn’t want to talk to Ye Shanshan.
After opening the luggage, they found quite a few things. Ye Shanshan took them out one by one, like a treasure hunt, “Found a lighter, rain boots and raincoat, four bottles of water, a flashlight…” Scattered items occupied a small area.
At this moment, the car suddenly stopped, and Xu Luoyang immediately had a bad feeling. Raising his voice, he asked, “Driver, what’s going on?”
“We’re out of gas. We can only drop you off here. Get off!”
※※※
Organizing their belongings and packing them into two large backpacks, Ye Shanshan and Xu Luoyang got off the car.
This was a rural road with barren land on both sides, and their destination, Yanhui Mountain, was still quite a distance away. Stretching lazily, Ye Shanshan’s mood instantly rose, planning whether to invite Gong Yue to come and play together someday.
“I knew it. The production team couldn’t be so kind. They actually pulled off this shameless act!” Xu Luoyang estimated the distance, suddenly feeling sorry for his feet.
At this moment, the task card arrived, and Ye Shanshan curiously took it and opened it, reading aloud, “We are waiting for you at the foot of Yanhui Mountain in Yanhui Village!” There was also a cute smiley face drawn behind.
However, at this moment, that smiley face seemed to be filled with malice.
Looking around, Xu Luoyang took out his phone, “There’s no map or landmark here. Who knows how to get to Yanhui Village? However, I sincerely thank technology for granting us navigation software!”
However, when he opened his phone, he discovered a cruel reality—
“Oh damn, why is the battery only at five percent? Is it teasing us?”
Ye Shanshan peeked over to see and indeed, the battery level was in the red. He took out his own phone, finding the same situation with only five percent battery. Quickly turning off the network and locking the screen, he said, “Luoyang, bring up the map and let me see. Once you’ve seen it, turn off the internet to save battery for later use.”
Xu Luoyang still had complete faith in Ye Shanshan’s heightened intelligence. He followed his instructions, bringing up the navigation and setting the location.
Ye Shanshan’s two slender fingers swiped and pinched on the screen for a few seconds, zooming in and out. In just over ten seconds, he finished looking at it. “Turn off the internet.”
The cameraman on the side was a bit curious, “Is that all? Aren’t you going to use navigation?”
Ye Shanshan looked up to explain to the cameraman, “Yes, that’s right. We’ve seen it and remembered it, so we turned it off to save power.”
Saying this, he casually picked up a tree branch from the roadside and then drew a rough map on the muddy ground. Pointing, he said, “We are here now, and Yanhui Village is located here,” drawing the nearest route according to the terrain. “We’ll take this road, then go through here. There’s a forest here, which won’t be too hot to walk in, and there’s a water source nearby. Luoyang, considering your physical strength, it should take us about two hours.”
Xu Luoyang, looking at the hand-drawn map on the ground, wore an expression of “What the hell” and looked at Ye Shanshan. “Brother Ye, you’re mighty. I seek your strategic output and coverage! Wait, why isn’t it based on your physical strength?”
Ye Shanshan blinked, “Of course, it’s because you walk slowly!”
Xu Luoyang looked at the map and felt that when a person should lower their head, they should indeed lower their head, “You are the boss, and everything you say is right!”
Twirling the small branch in his hand, Ye Shanshan identified the direction. Looking proud, he said, “Let’s go, your Brother Ye will lead you into the world!”
The cameraman, who was initially shocked by Ye Shanshan’s memory and direction-determining ability, couldn’t help but laugh upon hearing this statement.
※※※
Carrying large backpacks, the two walked on the rural road. Ye Shanshan was in a good mood and even picked a few golden wildflowers to put on his head, looking beautiful under the sunlight.
Xu Luoyang looked at him several times and couldn’t figure it out. “Other guys wearing flowers seem effeminate, but why do you look so good with them?”
Ye Shanshan proudly made a scissors gesture at him and then approached a bit, asking, “Look, what can you see on my face?”
Xu Luoyang was puzzled, “Isn’t it just a face?”
Ye Shanshan looked at him disappointedly, “Sigh, haven’t you noticed? It’s all natural beauty!” His looks had been appraised by the Great Demon King Gong Yue, and Gong Yue had said he was the most handsome. He couldn’t help but be proud.
“…”.
Xu Luoyang, disregarding his image, rolled his eyes. “You’ve ruined your pride. I’ve never seen such a shameless person. Don’t you know what humility is?”
Ye Shanshan didn’t quite understand Xu Luoyang’s logic. “If I’m humble, what will you do?”
“…,” suffering from the bombardment, Xu Luoyang decided to remain silent for a minute.
The two walked along the rural road for more than twenty minutes. The sun had already risen, making it a bit hot. The fluorescent green jackets were a disaster under the sunlight, glaring and eye-catching.
Ye Shanshan rubbed his warm hair and ingeniously found a soft and rough branch, using it as a makeshift hair tie to make a small ponytail.
Using the rough branch as a hair tie, it looked quite decent. Giving himself a mental pat on the back, Ye Shanshan thought his creativity was truly boundless.
At this moment, the sound of “vroom vroom” came from a distance. Xu Luoyang’s eyes lit up. “A car is coming!”
Ye Shanshan was also delighted. He listened carefully and judged, “Diesel engine, small, old car. Hmm, it’s a convertible!”
Xu Luoyang couldn’t believe it. Could their luck really be this good? Otherwise, how could there be a convertible in this remote area?
However, holding onto the mentality of mortals looking up to geniuses, he still believed Ye Shanshan and became excited. “If it’s really a convertible, we can hitch a ride, enjoy the breeze, and live carefree!”
Before he finished saying the word “carefree,” the car turned a corner and appeared in their sight.
Xu Luoyang looked at the “convertible” and fell into silence for a good ten seconds before looking at Ye Shanshan with an indifferent expression.
“Is this your idea of a convertible?”
At best, the car was a modified tricycle. The bright red paint was already peeling off halfway, and the parts on the car made a series of “clang clang clang” noises. The owner probably loved customization, so on both sides of the driver’s seat, there were planks extending out like a pair of aesthetically unpleasing wings.
A breeze blew by, and Xu Luoyang rubbed his nose. “What’s that smell?”
Ye Shanshan had already stood in the middle of the road, waving at the car in various ways. He answered Xu Luoyang’s question while doing so, “Didn’t you see? There’s a big cage on the back of that convertible with adorable piglets inside.” He was rarely able to see live piglets, so he was excited!
“!!”
In no time, the car stopped in front of them. The driver wore a coarse hat, had a dark complexion, and was in his forties or fifties. He spoke with a strong accent, “Where are you guys headed?” After asking, he couldn’t resist glancing at Ye Shanshan with some curiosity.
Ye Shanshan briefly described the approximate location, “We’re going to Yanhui Village. Are you going in the same direction?” Very polite.
The driver took off his coarse hat to cool off. “Same way, same way. It’s our neighboring village. Let’s go, miss!”
Being addressed as “miss” left Ye Shanshan rooted to the spot. He then turned to ask Xu Luoyang, “Is he calling you?”
Xu Luoyang, seeing Ye Shanshan looking bewildered, couldn’t help but stand in place, laughing uncontrollably.
The driver realized his mistake and was puzzled, “Looks like a fairy from heaven. Isn’t it a miss?” This made Xu Luoyang burst into laughter for another two minutes.
Feeling like he had suffered a million volts of shock, Ye Shanshan thought, “I’m clearly so manly! How could I be a fairy?” In frustration, he loosened the small ponytail he had tied.
After negotiating with the driver, Ye Shanshan and Xu Luoyang each boarded the car. The piglets’ “oink oink” sounds from the back could still be tolerated, but the pungent smell drifting in with the wind was unbearable.
Xu Luoyang rubbed his nose and was about to ask Ye Shanshan how long it would take them to reach their destination when he heard, amidst the engine’s “vroom vroom” sound, Ye Shanshan enthusiastically chatting with the driver.
Ye Shanshan’s voice was highly recognizable, “Exactly! Piglets often suffer from three types of diarrhea: red, yellow, and white. It mainly involves maintaining hygiene. If they really contract the disease, you can orally administer a solution of potassium permanganate or add terramycin to their feed!”
“You know a lot. Also, my piglets don’t grow well. If they don’t gain weight, I can’t sell them for much!”
“Is it because you’re supplementing their feed too late?”
“My family has been supplementing the feed for twenty days, as passed down from the older generation.”
“No, nowadays, piglets can be supplemented with feed for just ten days. This way, they grow quickly and get fat…”
Listening to Ye Shanshan discussing the pig-raising scriptures with the driver, Xu Luoyang silently hugged his luggage.
1TL: YSIAD “You can support me if you like my translations by leaving a comment below, or by sending me a Ko-fi. Thank you ❤️”
