最佳契合 (Perfect Match) – 十九瑶
Chapter 33
Cheng Xiu’s envelope was quite thick, with a tinge of pink underneath the white paper, and it seems to be full of money.
The omega refused to take it, so Cheng Xiu opened his fingers, slipped it in his hand, and said, “Take it and fix the air conditioner at home. You get the chills all over your old house because of its thin walls, no floor heating, and cracked windows. Without fixing the air conditioner, how are you going to survive this cold winter?”
“This is far too much for me… I-I can’t take it.”
The omega consistently refused, returned the envelope, and wanted to open the door to get out. Cheng Xiu acted quickly, raised his hand, and pressed a button, which locked all four doors.
The omega struggled for quite some time to open the car door. He didn’t want to risk damaging the car, so he just sat back and said, “Cheng Xiu, I’m not that worried about the cold. I still have savings on hand, so it’s not all bad. With the money I’ve saved, I can pay a technician to fix the air conditioner…”
“Come on, your savings don’t mean shit. They don’t cost as much as your man’s clothes, and you can get six months’ worth of food from just one of his ties.” Cheng Xiu didn’t filter his words, stabbing the omega straight to his heart like a knife. He then grabbed the envelope and shoved it in his hands once again, “Keep it. Don’t be so polite to me.”
The omega refused to back down, saying, “Cheng Xiu, don’t be like this. I can’t take your money…”
Despite his repeated protests, Cheng Xiu kept his cool and even laughed.
He pointed at the back seat and said, “What’s the saying? Wool comes from the sheep’s back1A Chinese idiom and also an urban slang that conveys the idea of taking advantage of a situation or exploiting others for personal gain.. When your alpha wakes up, I’ll ask for a salary increase right away. Last time I didn’t even blink my eyes and reaped 1,800 dollars, but this time I have to reap 2,000 dollars—think about it; if it wasn’t for you, how could I raise my salary so quickly? Should I share half of this money with you?”
The omega stubbornly shook his head, “It’s not the same…”
“What’s different?” Cheng Xiu said, “The two of us are like grasshoppers on a rope. We have to live together and cling on. Without you, I can’t have money, and you’ll get sick or freeze to death. Besides, you’ve been with him for quite some time; what if you grow something in your stomach…”
Cheng Xiu stopped in the middle of his lecture, stretched his hand, and gently caressed the omega’s belly.
“I…”
The omega was startled and looked at his stomach.
He was moved to the deepest part of his heart, and his face became more delicate than ever. He finally gave up his stubbornness, took the envelope, and thanked Cheng Xiu warmly.
Although Cheng Xiu was usually not shy, he also felt a sudden sense of embarrassment at this moment, “No, don’t mention it. After you repair the air conditioner, use the rest of the money to buy some vitamins. The next time you’re in a bind, you’re welcome to ask me for it.”
“There will be no next time; you keep the money to pay the mortgage and find a wife.” A smile spread across the omega’s face as he spoke with warmth and sincerity, “Cheng Xiu, thank you.”
Cheng Xiu scratched his head before quickly unlocking the car lock. The omega, holding the envelope in his arms, zipped up his collar and stepped out of the car.
Zheng Feiluan quickly became anxious.
He still had too many questions, and he wanted to reach over the omega’s shoulder and touch every inch of him with his fingers so he could clearly look at his face and features. He wanted to give him a piece of paper and ask him to write his name in one stroke, as if the world would end; he wanted to cuddle up to him all day and night, asking him questions about their long history of familiarity and how they met; he wanted to bring back long-forgotten memories; and he wished there was still time to make amends if anything went wrong.
But he couldn’t move.
He could only sit in the car and stare out the window at the snow and wind. The windows were painted with one hard stroke of white paint after another, erasing all signs of the omega.
Suddenly, Cheng Xiu stepped down on the gas, which sent Zheng Feiluan tumbling in the back seat, pulling him out of his dreamlike state.
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He sat up quickly and was breathing heavily.
His shocked heart was pounding wildly, and the bedside clock read six-twenty. He and his brother had just finished a heated fight in the basement garage five hours ago.
Looking out the window, it appeared light, but not excessively so. The sky was covered by thick, black clouds, signaling the approaching threat of another snowstorm in Yuanjiang.
He glanced at the pillow, where a lily of the valley twig rested peacefully. The petals have dried up after a night, yet they retain their white color and a subtle, lasting scent. As a last resort, he grabbed the flower and put it up his nose for a long sniff, relieving his anxiety with each whiff.
It’s okay, he hasn’t left his apartment or visited the run-down rental house.
Everything was just a dream.
It’s a nightmare with bad intentions that causes anxiety, and it’s the bitterness of “him,” who is seeking but can’t get his way, that triggers a barbaric reaction.
As soon as the idea of deceiving himself crossed his mind, a prickling sensation spread across his head. A floodgate opened in his memory, and an overload of messy and disoriented pieces came out, frame after frame, overwhelming him like tidal waves that drowned his breathing.
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Their first time was on a stormy summer night.
It was June or July.
That day, he had been drenched from head to toe and as depressed as a lost stray dog. With one hit, he smashed the thin iron door open and threw himself at He An.
He An was terrified and shocked when he saw him, and he hurriedly invited him into the house, bringing out the only chair to get him to sit. He told him he would get him a towel to dry off because he was afraid he would catch a cold. But when he turned around, he found himself pushed up against the wall.
After that, the pleasure was overpowering.
As if the body in Zheng Feiluan’s arms were nothing more than pure pleasure, an unusually straightforward and strong impulse coursed through his nerves. The cold, stinging drops pounded down on He An’s neck, soaking his skin drop by drop.
Two slender, white, and writhing butterfly bones2the shoulder blade or wingbone stretched out like a bow in front of his eyes.
Outside the window, a thunderbolt exploded and bright, unpleasant lighting pierced the sky, reflecting the omega’s shaky grip on the wall like a butterfly racing away in an intense thunderstorm.
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After that, he came regularly in the fall and winter.
Those old bar regulars always love to come in during difficult times to buy a glass of strong liquor, drink until unconscious and out of shape, full of nonsense, and then continue to go back to their miserable days. Zheng Feiluan’s glass of alcohol is not the same. He was always confused as he walked through the door. He would force He An to vent out his frustrations, letting go of all of his fatigue and worries, and then go back to his perfect career once he regained consciousness.
He An didn’t complain, exactly like a flower growing in a plant nursery3A place where plants are nurtured and eventually turned into mature plants. day after day, waiting for him to come by.
Grow for him and die for him.
When he was looking for a mate, he wasn’t very easily understood and didn’t like talking much, but He An enjoyed chatting with him. Every time he got out of the bath, he would wrap a hot towel in his own hands, help him wipe down his body, and then softly whisper comforting things to him.
On some days, He An would bring out the recently bought business magazine and turn to the page with the interview with Zheng Feiluan, praising his exquisite photos and insightful responses. Or, show him a book of poems and say that he read one of his favorites yesterday that was about a tired bird laying on a riverbank, which were spelled exactly like their names, and then say with a smile, “Look, you’re a tired bird, and I’m a riverbank. It’s your destiny to find comfort in my company.”
That smile was weak, and a hint of happiness was concealed in the eyes. It was full, but barely a third of it can be seen.
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When the snow cleared and spring arrived, He An contracted the stomach flu and suffered from acute gastrointestinal pain. He collapsed and was disoriented from vomiting, and his face was pale.
He didn’t bother going to the hospital since he thought the vomiting was because he was pregnant. He sat alone at home in tremendous discomfort and even developed a shimmer of luxurious hope.
When Zheng Feiluan arrived, He An was lying next to him, huddled up weakly into a ball, stretching out his hand and gently intertwining his fingers.
“Feiluan, will you like it if I get pregnant?” He asked with a look of expectation, “If… if I give birth to them and bring them to you, will you recognize us and… acknowledge us?”
Zheng Feiluan wanted to instantly nod his head, hug him tightly, and say, “Of course I will. I want to hold you in the palm of my hand and cherish and spoil you for the rest of your life.” However, in his closed memory, he was like an empty vessel that had lost its soul. He was sitting at the top of the bed, blankly staring at He An and not reacting at all.
Then, the light in He An’s eyes dimmed little by little.
“It’s okay…”
He formed his lips together and smiled bitterly and hesitantly.
After a while, he came closer to Zheng Feiluan, nestled against his arm, and whispered, “Don’t worry, Feiluan. I, we… will not be a nuisance to you.”
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Midway through the warm spring, after He An had recovered from the severe flu, he went into an intense heat cycle. Along with it came the child who had been theirs—a daughter who had been deprived of any form of nurturing from her biological father from the moment she was conceived until she was born, a fact that Zheng Feiluan learned about much later.
Back then, Jiusheng’s first waterfront residence was still in the planning stages. Zheng Feiluan was so preoccupied with his work and the immense pressure he was under that he completely neglected his basic needs.
He always thought at the time that he had lived in a hotel suite, but his memories gave him another clarification: he slept with the omega in heat for seven nights in a row for an entire week.
And just at night.
During the day, he remained a stranger who had no ties with He An.
Before the sun rose, Cheng Xiu would figure out how to bring him back. At that point, He An’s body was still limp and hot, like a stove with coals that could not be put out. It was bloodshot and swollen, and it was so weak and powerless that it had to be stuffed all the time and couldn’t survive for a second without the alpha.
For the first time, he witnessed the normally tough young man’s dignity crumble under the weight of hellish desire as he collapsed on the bedside, clinging desperately to Cheng Xiu’s sleeve. He pleaded with him in a pitiful voice, pleading for him to be understanding and stop taking away his alpha right now.
Cheng Xiu’s eyes grew red, and he apologized repeatedly, but he held his sanity and showed no mercy.
As the door shut behind him, Zheng Feiluan could make out He An’s voice through a layer of thin iron; his voice was hoarse and trembling with despair as he called out for him.
Then there came the long, twenty-hour separation.
If an omega is in heat, how can he possibly spend a whole day away from his alpha?
There was no way for Zheng Feiluan to know.
Not a single person has ever tried.
Even now, Zheng Feiluan has no idea how He An managed to make it through those seven days on his own. His memory began every day at two o’clock in the morning, when he opened the door and saw He An hunched in the corner of the hallway, wrapped in a wet blanket. His eyes were closed and the air he was breathing was short, and he needed to be held in his arms and given affection for a long time before he could get warm.
Later, He An began to routinely slip into a coma; the primary reason for that was actually dehydration and malnutrition—even though there were concentrated nutrient solutions stored in the fridge, Zheng Feiluan didn’t give He An even a single drop.
To keep the intestines clean, omegas in heat can’t ingest solid food, even semi-liquids, and the only source of energy is concentrated nutrient solutions. Zheng Feiluan, on the other hand, was still in his mate-seeking state, and his mental capacity was low, so he couldn’t care for his omega at all. It wasn’t until Cheng Xiu came to pick him up on the third day that he noticed He An’s alarming weakness and pale complexion. Seeing that the nutritional supplements had been sitting in the fridge unopened, he quickly emptied a couple of bottles into He An’s mouth.
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Nobody could have predicted that He An’s stressful heat cycle would eventually give life to a stubborn baby.
He An viewed this little one as a treasure, and he cared for her as she grew up day by day. For six months, she was at ease, growing in all areas: her hands and feet, her ability to move around and roll over; she was obedient and never made a fuss… But on that early autumn day, she faced the most horrific tragedy of her early life.
Her alpha father returned from abroad and discovered her existence.
She has become a hideout for pests, including snakes, rats, insects, and ants, and must be taken out. He An could do nothing except clutch her in his arms and seek safety in the city’s crevices because he was too afraid of harming her. He was too afraid to sleep well at night or even come out during the day, to the point that hiding became his daily routine.
Last Christmas, on the day the sheets were stained red with He An’s blood, was the very same day the child was finally born.
…
It was his fault.
Everything was his fault.
Every scene that his memory brought to light, beginning with that dark and rainy July night two years ago, was a crime from which he could never escape.
Zheng Feiluan suddenly felt his heart clench as he glanced at the delicate white lily of the valley in his hand. His chest was so tight that the air in his lungs had been pushed out in a rush, and he couldn’t catch his breath no matter how hard he gasped.
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Translated and edited by janemoyu (01/05/24)
