最佳契合 (Perfect Match) – 十九瑶
Chapter 39
“Here’s the hot cocoa you ordered, please enjoy.”
At the milk tea shop on the street, the clerk girl in a red apron brought a mug and placed it in front of Zheng Feiluan. The cup was steaming hot, and the ripples spread out in circles, releasing a rich, sweet aroma.
Zheng Feiluan pushed it forward, “Be careful, it’s hot.”
He looked at He An, expecting that he would like it as much as before. Instead, He An just sat quietly across from him, not reaching for it.
Zheng Feiluan’s face was a bit embarrassed, “You don’t like it?”
He An didn’t nod or shake his head, and after a moment of silence, he asked, “What do you want to talk about?”
“About… us.”
Zheng Feiluan unexpectedly became speechless, and he struggled to speak for a moment before he continued, “About the past, about the year you left Yuanjiang, and if… you’re willing to go home with me.”
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When he said these words, he explicitly wanted to hold He An’s hand.
When he was young, Yan Ning would look for him to have a long talk, and he always loved to hold his hand. Yan Ning had taught him that if a word carries a lot of emotions, you can only rely on the mouth to say them out loud, and this will earn you seven or eight points of sincerity. For the remaining two or three points, you must rely on the heat of the palm and the touch of the fingertips in order to drill through the barrier and penetrate the other person’s heart.
He was hoping He An would understand him.
But He An didn’t drink the hot cocoa and hid his hand under the table, so he couldn’t hold it. If he couldn’t hold it, he wouldn’t be at ease, so even if he had thousands of words, he wouldn’t be able to say them. He was afraid his words alone wouldn’t convey his true feelings for He An, and everything he’s done so far has made He An skeptical of his intentions.
He did so many things to He An. Every misdeed and abuse has been tightly wrapped around his heart like mud. He wants to show his heart to He An now, but the mud has hardened and the heart has been sealed too tightly, and not even a crack can be seen.
“He An, say something. I want to hear you talk.” Zheng Feiluan said in a husky voice, “Blame me or cuss me out. Just say something.”
He An looked at him, raised the corners of his lips and smiled.
Feiluan, what’s wrong with you?
This is not who you are.
More than a year had passed, from early fall last year to late winter this year. They sat opposite each other once again, with a cup of hot cocoa still on the table.
To be honest, in terms of appearance and character, Zheng Feiluan is still He An’s type: his shirt is always smooth and flat, his cuffs are always spotless, his shoulders are broad, his back is straight, his eyebrows are slanted like blades, and he’s handsome and strong, with deep eyes underneath.
Perhaps because he had been tortured by the mate-seeking disorder for a long time, his eyebrows have become less sharp and more tired, and there is a hint of love that is hard to make sense of.
Where is this love coming from?
If Zheng Feiluan had looked at him with such eyes before, He An would’ve been afraid that his heart would melt and his soul would tremble. But now, he can face him casually while thinking whether this “love” is true or make-believe.
I’m still the same person. I haven’t changed, have I?
The only difference between his unattractive looks, his average education, and his low-paying job… is probably his declining health. In the past, He An was still able to dream once in a while, but now, even he himself has admitted that he really isn’t worthy of Zheng Feiluan.
So, what reason does this alpha, who mocked him a year ago, have to suddenly fall in love with him now?
For a long time, He An had always innocently dreamed of himself being happy. But he is not a naïve kid anymore.
He was a dreamer back then, and now he’s fully awake.
He suspected that behind Zheng Feiluan’s “love”, there might be a hidden truth. A devious, cold, and calculating truth. If he believed it easily, his bones would be crushed, and his flesh and blood would be devoured greedily.
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Seeing that He An didn’t say anything for a long time, Zheng Feiluan felt anxious and couldn’t sit any longer. He stood up, approached him, placed one hand on the table for support, and the other on He An’s shoulder as he bent down.
“Sorry.” he said.
He then slid his fingers and dragged them to the back of He An’s neck. His fingertips shivered slightly, knuckle after knuckle, slowly looking for their way, as if afraid they would suddenly see something they didn’t want to face.
After a while, he suddenly let out a sigh of relief.
It’s okay, it’s fine.
The omega’s neck was smooth and delicate, with no trace of canine punctures.
Zheng Feiluan still couldn’t be sure, so he pushed He An’s hair aside and came in close to sniff the back of his neck–the ordinary Pheromone Type 3, boring and pure, roamed quietly in the air.
Zheng Feiluan’s hanging heart dropped to the ground.
He suddenly wrapped his arms around He An, pressed him into his body with his eyes closed, and kissed the slightly protruding glands.
He’s still his.
This little nightingale, which he had driven out of its nest, was suffering and frightened, but still refused to look for another nest and stayed on the thin branch, waiting for him to find it.
However, when the hug ended, Zheng Feiluan cupped He An’s face and saw a pool of cold water.
Ah…
He had a terrible migraine.
What will he do now? His omega refuses to smile or speak, so how on earth can he be persuaded?
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Zheng Feiluan had never sweet-talked anyone in his life, and his expert negotiation skills weren’t helpful at this moment. So, he had to bite the bullet, wearing his naturally serious face, and went to say some awkward, sweet words.
“He An, please smile, hm? Do you remember how you laughed when we were together?” He continued, “You were afraid that I’d get cold in the middle of the night, so you stomped your feet and made soup. I was a mindless idiot back then. I didn’t even know what to do with the soup while I was holding it, so you taught me how to hold the spoon. When I took a sip, you laughed, remember?”
He took He An’s cold hand and clasped it into his hot palm.
“Babe, I remember everything from before, and I can give you everything you want now. My dad has always thought about Linglan and wants to give his little granddaughter a hug. We’ll take Linglan home today, and in the evening, we’ll go to the mansion in the mountains and have dinner with my family. In a few days, I’ll arrange a grand wedding for you at the Jinyuan Twin Towers, where we first met. Then we’ll make another announcement and let everyone know that you’re my omega. If you want to study in the future, you can continue at Yuan University. If you want to do anything else, you’re allowed to do whatever you want.”
He suddenly remembered something and hastily took out an aqua blue ring box from his coat pocket, and opened it to He An, “Look, this is a pair of wedding rings my dad gave me. At the wedding, I’ll put them on for you in front of everyone.”
He lowered his head and kissed He An’s fingertips: “Are you happy? Smile at me?”
As if he had been electrocuted, He An quickly withdrew his hand and hid it in the shallow folds of his clothes.
Zheng Feiluan froze, “You… don’t want to?”
“No.”
“Why?”
“I want to stay here.”
Zheng Feiluan frowned, “What’s so good here?”
He has lived in a big city with neon lights for a long time and was used to the sense of fulfillment brought by the fast-paced and highly efficient environment. Meanwhile, the workmanship of brewing tea, blending perfume, embroidery and dyeing, and labor in Luotan Town are all subpar, and seemed to him to be nothing but a waste of time.
Suddenly, Zheng Feiluan’s expression changed, “Is it because of Dai Xiao?”
Are you with him?
He An opened his mouth with the urge to say no, but somehow his mind changed, and he swallowed what he had to say.
Zheng Feiluan thought that it was a confirmation and became anxious on the spot. He put the ring box on the table, pressed his thin shoulder, and roared in a low voice, “He An, I’m the person you love! Four years ago, when you were still studying at the university, the person you loved was already me! He An, don’t be confused; please remember, here I’m—”
He pointed at He An’s heart, “I’m the only one who has to be here!”
Every word was angry and loud.
He An was startled for a moment, then he looked down and smiled. After smiling, he raised his head and asked timidly, “It’s not like I can only love one person my whole life. I used to love you, but now I love him… Can’t I do that?”
“But you’re lying to me.”
Zheng Feiluan approached him and looked him straight in the eyes, with a hint of hesitation and bitterness in his deep affection, “That Dai Xiao, he didn’t even give you a mark.”
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Caught off guard, he felt a sting in his nose, and his lips were hit by something soft with a scent of fresh, bitter tea. Afterwards, a burst of hot air blew slowly and hit his face.
Zheng Feiluan was thunderstruck, and it took him a long time to react—
He An was kissing him.
Behind a curtain of green roses in the milk tea shop, in a corner where no one could see, He An was kissing him. The sudden intimacy was no different from those nights that had once soothed him.
The omega’s lips were a little cold but still soft. Zheng Feiluan was seduced by the erratic scent of Lily of the Valley, not bothering to think or to ask why, he just quickly indulged in it. He turned his back on the guests and wrapped his arms around He An’s waist and neck. He explored with his tongue, hooked it, and sucked it desperately, making sloppy and erotic sounds.
His heart was beating so fast—badum badum badum—like a drumbeat that got more and more intense.
He couldn’t stop shaking with joy.
He An still loves him, doesn’t he? They were made for each other; what kind of conflict can’t be sorted out overnight? What kind of conflict between husband and wife can’t be resolved with a lingering kiss?
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When the kiss finally satisfied him, Zheng Feiluan huffed, let out a long sigh of relief, and looked at He An affectionately. However, when he looked into He An’s eyes, it was as if a bucket of ice water had been poured over his head, chilling him to the bones.
He An showed no emotion at all.
Not a single spark in those eyes. They were as dead as they were beautiful.
Zheng Feiluan contemplated for a long time before he finally understood this deafening silence—it wasn’t like a piece of damp wood that cannot be ignited today and will always have a chance to burn if it dries another day. Instead, it was more like a pile of extinguished coal, which had been burned vigorously and had no possibility of rekindling.
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He An took hold of his fingers, pulled them over, and gently placed them on his wrist.
Beneath the cool skin, the pulse was pounding beat by beat, monotonous, boring, calm, and completely lacking the excitement awakened by love.
What happened?
With a kiss like that, even two strangers should—
“You’ve taught me before that pheromones don’t lie, and heartbeats don’t lie either. If the heart isn’t beating like crazy, it means there’s no love. So…” He An paused, his voice was warm and soft, with untimely tenderness, “So you see, I really don’t love you anymore.”
“He An…”
Zheng Feiluan’s face turned pale in an instant.
He moved his lips, but he couldn’t say a single word.
That’s right.
Last fall, in that coffee shop, he was the one who turned down He An’s love with his own heartbeat.
Now in the same scene, the people have changed their places. He An had rejected him, and Zheng Feiluan finally got a taste of what He An felt that day.
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Translated and edited by janemoyu (10/19/23)
