RES Chapter 89

TW: Implied self-harm and abuse, mention of suicide

---

Torture?

Lu You tilted her head unnaturally. She looked at Lu Ming as if she were looking at a stranger.

She approached with light steps, stood on tiptoe, and tenderly stroked Lu Ming’s cheek. Her fingertips were frighteningly cold, spreading a layer of ice in the autumn sun.

Lu Ming shuddered the moment she touched him.

Lu You paused in confusion, trying to comfort the shivering child. Her lips were dry as she said pitifully and bewildered: “I, I did not torture you ah. Why do you think so…Did I do something wrong?”

Lu Ming didn’t dare to answer.

Lu You shook her head and said sadly: “I just want to be with you, want to live a new life with you properly. But I, but every time I talk to you, you don’t listen to me. You used to be so obedient, you did whatever mom told you to do.”

“…”

“It’s okay, Xiao Ming.Tell mom again, you’re not leaving, you’re lying to me, you’re just joking. We’ve always been together, how come we have to separate?”

“…”

Seeing that he didn’t speak, Lu You’s eyes were sad.

“Xiao Ming ah, mom loves you so much.” She lifted the clothes covering her wrists. Her expression was hollow, it was crawling with dead maggots, “Look, this is all evidence of love for you.”

She laughed, seemingly looking soft and tender, seemingly looking as if she were a knife. Her wrists were covered with marks of self-abuse, and every scar was a merciless destruction of Lu Ming.

She was about to drive him crazy.

Lu You smile: “Who can do this for you? The Chi Qiu you have been missing, would he?”

When she mentioned Chi Qiu, Lu Ming was shaken: “Why are you…”

“Silly boy, mom has already read the letter you hid in the box. So, you like Chi Qiu so much. It’s okay, what you like, mom will definitely like too!” She laughed out loud, feeling proud of her tolerance and tenderness. “I didn’t ruin your letter, am I good? Xiao Ming, at your age, it’s good to have a friend. Don’t be like me, ah. Who ignores me…Lu Rongtian ignores me too, he’s a liar and abandoned me after using me.”

“…”

“That Zhen Zhen is also a vixen, what’s so good about her.” After going around, she went back to Lu Rongtian and Zhen Zhen.

Lu Ming knew that Lu You could not get better, he looked at Lu You in despair, tears dried up on his face.

“Mom, please…” Don’t do this anymore.

Lu You, however, was not impressed. She took Lu Ming’s hand like a little girl. “How about this! Xiao Ming, you go and pick up Chi Qiu. Let’s live together, live together, OK? It’s my fault for breaking your computer and phone, don’t leave me, okay? Let’s live with Chi Qiu!”

 

She fantasized about the future, shaking Lu Ming’s hand frantically.

As she shook his hand, she changed her face: “No, no! Chi Qiu is hateful…He’s just like that Zhen Zhen; he wants to take you away! You’re all going to leave! You’re all going to leave me alone! What did I do wrong for you to do this to me——”

She went mad with anger and broke the vase on the table, scaring Lu Ming.

She stepped on the shards of the vase, screaming to kill Chi Qiu. Lu Ming picked her up and carried her away from the pieces of the vases.

Who could endure Lu You in this condition? But Lu Ming endured it like this for 17 years.

He gritted his teeth and listened to Lu You’s angry rebuke while he treated the wound on the bottom of her foot. Lu You slapped Lu Ming’s head, and along with the slap, she asked Lu Ming to answer herself, asked Lu Ming to say that he would never go to Chi Qiu again.

Just one sentence, that was all.

Lu Ming bit his lip so hard that his neck turned red.

Finally, Lu Ming said, “Mom!!”

Lu You instantly quieted down, shrinking her shoulders and looking at him in disbelief.

Lu Ming said in pain, “I have contacted Grandpa, they will come to pick you up soon. You should stop being crazy.” He took the bottle of medicine at hand and forced Lu You to take two pills.

Lu You refused, but Lu Ming forced it in. He had been very skilled in the matter of giving medicines. Fortunately, after Lu You took the medicine, she quickly calmed down, even a little sluggish.

Lu Ming breathed a sigh of relief and got up.

But Lu You pulled him down.

“Don’t leave me…” Lu You was full of tears. Her movements were sluggish as she knocked her head on the floor. “Xiao Ming, if you leave me for him, I will die.”

I will definitely die.

“I’ll die, I’ll die…I’ll die, it’s you who cause it, I’ll die, I’ll die…” she kept repeating over and over again.

And Lu Ming stood there in a daze, as if he had been suppressed for too long. Under the repeated influence of Lu You, he finally could not restrain his anger. He fiercely grabbed Lu You’s shoulders and made her lift her head to look at him.

Emotions were crumbling torrents that washed over the defenses of the heart.

Perhaps Lu Ming also did not expect that he would say such words.

“Then die, ah.”

Lu Ming lost control. In his eyes, emotions were fading away. His head was about to burst as he raised his voice: “Then die, ah——”

Lu You stared at Lu Ming with wide eyes, as if she had received an order that could not be disobeyed.

Lu Ming grabbed her, crying and roaring, “Let’s die together!”

Why is it so painful?

Memories were disgusting fluids that leapt out of Lu Ming’s stomach.

The twenty seven-year-old Lu Ming fell to his knees and vomited furiously. It was as if he had suffered a seizure. His neck and arms and legs were blue as he twitched in pain and vomited up everything he had eaten that night.

He screamed out in horror. His screams were echoes muffled in the box, colliding frequently. Lu Ming clutched his head in horror and backed away, closing his eyes hard.

He seemed to see something; they all pounced towards him, tearing hard at Lu Ming’s heart, tearing it into tens of millions of pieces before they were willing to give up.

Lu You stood in front of him again and told him: “Have you forgotten?” Her fingertips pointed at Lu Ming’s chest and pressed inward with blood flowing, “You’ve locked Chi Qiu in here, together with me.”

Lu Ming stared at her with wide eyes. Blood filled his heart: “I… I didn’t…”

Lu You laughed: “You love him so much, how come you threw him away along with me? Lu Ming, in fact, you don’t love anyone, anyone can be abandoned by you.”

“No!” He didn’t, he was just in too much pain.

“Do you remember now?” Lu You touched his head and he gradually couldn’t see her face clearly, but there was a rare tenderness. “If you remember everything, it will be very painful… Open the box, and I will come out too.”

And this time, Lu You didn’t torture him.

Instead, she squatted down and persuaded him in a warm voice: “Forget it. Forget about me, forget about Chi Qiu.” Don’t continue to suffer. What the memory brought to Lu Ming was always scarred deprivation.

Lu Ming breathed with difficulty and the heavy sleepiness weighing him down, Lu You’s voice was a long-lost lullaby; she embraced Lu Ming, singing softly in this room where they tormented each other.

Just forget it and everything will be fine.

“Xiao Ming, mom was sick at the time and did a lot of things that I’m sorry for. You forget about me, forget about Chi Qiu.”

Start living again and live well.

Forget everything and put an end to the painful past.

“It’s been ten years, forget about us.”

“No, no, no….”

Lu Ming shook his head in pain, helplessly hitting the floor with his forehead, trying to use the pain to alleviate the rainy night that would not go away in his mind.

How should he tell Lu You, tell her that he couldn’t forget.

He clutched his heart, so painful that he couldn’t breathe, but he couldn’t forget it no matter what.

Once forgotten, Chi Qiu would never come back. In each of his letters were his tears every single night. How could he forget the person he liked so much? How could he put Chi Qiu in that black box again?

He curled up on the floor, cold sweat was all over his body.

Lu Ming stubbornly confronted and embraced Lu You, hating and loving each other. But Lu Ming never pushed her away again, as he did ten years ago.

He had to face Lu You in order to save Chi Qiu from the bottom of his heart.

He slapped himself, one slap after another, hoping to keep himself awake. This time, he definitely would not lose. He thought to himself secretly, with his mouth full of blood.

After a long time, he gradually calmed down and stared blankly at every corner of the house. Everywhere, there were his countless nightmares. These nightmares appeared in his dreams and devoured him. He remembered them all.

After surviving a difficult nightmare, he finally remembered.

It turned out to be like this… It turned out that he told Lu You to die. He ruthlessly abandoned Lu You for Chi Qiu’s sake. The blame was on him, but he threw Chi Qiu away for no reason, and sentenced the young man in his heart, who was like spring, to a punishment without knowing the term of his sentence.

So that was why he forgot about Chi Qiu.

It was his fault, he was not strong enough, not resilient enough. It was him who transferred his anger to the innocent Chi Qiu.

His tears fell on the floor drop by drop, and the water stains swayed away. His yearning, his helplessness, and his desperate situation had become a bomb. He was blown to pieces and the pain was unbearable, so he just ran away, and even tried to commit suicide by throwing himself into the river.

Because he couldn’t die, because of the subconscious desire to live, he actually survived for the sake of being alive and cruelly hurt others.

He locked Chi Qiu and Lu You in the box in his heart.

He pushed the two people he loved most to the cliff.

“Ah——”

Lu Ming finally roared, he trembled and hid in the endless darkness.

 

At one o’clock in the morning, the night abroad was dark.

Lu Fengshen and his own mother, Gao Yun, were led by the old woman to the renovated elevator.

“Sorry to disturb you at this hour. My nephew’s health is not good, I really don’t feel comfortable letting him come here alone. He didn’t tell me in advance, so I arrived a little late today.” Lu Fengshen spoke to the old woman in a good-natured manner, “I didn’t expect that you are still young after not seeing you for so many years.”

The old woman’s face sank. Facing Lu Fengshen’s deliberate praise, she said indifferently: “You hired me through an agent. This is the first time we met.”

“…” Gao Yun narrowed her eyes, quite speechless towards this son.

Lu Fengshen sneered, feeling that it was better for him to speak less.

Fortunately, the elevator door opened. The old woman handed them the key, expressing that she didn’t want to get too involved in other people’s family affairs. After saying that, she pressed the elevator door and left with the corners of her mouth down.

Obviously, she was unhappy because Lu Fengshen disturbed her good dream.

Lu Fengshen knew he was wrong. He threw the key in his hand and said to Gao Yun, “Mom, you’ve worked hard, go in and rest.”

Gao Yun snorted coldly: “Who can sleep in this house, there are also ghosts. You are also very interesting, you can’t even keep an eye on people. If something happens to Xiao Ming here——”

Lu Fengshen interrupted her: “Mom, you have to stop talking nonsense! Lu Ming will be absolutely fine. And the ghost in this house is our acquaintance. We can sleep here.”

“…” The corners of Gao Yun’s mouth twitched. She was so angry that she did not want to talk.

Lu Fengshen didn’t directly open the door. Instead he raised his hand, wanting to knock on the door to try to see if Lu Ming was asleep. After all, in this ‘haunted house’, to be honest, who could sleep at ease?

But what he didn’t expect was that before he could knock, the door opened from the inside.

Lu Ming’s face was pale and he was wearing a dark trench coat. He was dragging a suitcase that he had just packed away in his hand. When he saw Lu Fengshen and Gao Yun, his expression began to loosen and even appeared surprised. His shoulder sank: “Grandma, uncle?”

For the first time in ten years, Lu Fengshen and Gao Yun saw so many expressions appear on Lu Ming’s face at the same time.

Lu Fengshen thought it was because he had stayed up all night, his old eyes were blurry so he was about to get a pair of reading glasses.

 

---