Xie Zhinan hadn’t rested well the night before and had already exhausted a lot of energy during the day. By 9 PM, he was already feeling tired.
He thought he would have trouble sleeping that night, but outside it was raining. The rain was light, with a soft patter, and the air was damp, carrying a cold, earthy scent of plants. Surprisingly, it was quite soothing and helped him fall asleep.
He quickly drifted into a deep sleep.
And soon, he began to dream.
He dreamed of many years ago, that hot and humid summer after the college entrance exams.
In the evening, the sunset was burning beautifully. Wen Yun, wearing a white T-shirt, stood under the colorful glow of the sunset, his dark eyes gazing at him. He asked, “Xie Zhinan, do you like me?”
Xie Zhinan’s heart raced, his chest thumping wildly. Those words felt like a sharp arrow, piercing through him, and all his well-hidden pretenses and lies came undone in that moment. He couldn’t say a word, only staring at Wen Yun with wide eyes, like a startled herbivore, his throat trembling.
Wen Yun took a step closer, and Xie Zhinan could smell his fragrance. His clothes seemed to carry a faint scent of lemon, which was especially fresh and pleasant on that muggy summer evening. Xie Zhinan unconsciously took a step toward him as well.
They were standing too close. Xie Zhinan looked up at him, hearing his breathing, smelling his scent.
The evening breeze came, gentle and warm, almost intoxicating, as it tousled their hair. A strand of Wen Yun’s hair covered his eyes. He narrowed his eyes slightly, and Xie Zhinan seemed to be hypnotized by him. He couldn’t help but raise his hand to push aside the annoying lock of hair from Wen Yun’s forehead.
It only lasted for a second, but Xie Zhinan suddenly snapped back to his senses, realizing that he had crossed a line. He tried to withdraw his hand, but just as he made the motion to pull back, his wrist was caught firmly in Wen Yun’s grasp.
Unexpectedly, Wen Yun’s palm was not as cold as he looked. It was burning hot, like it was on fire. Xie Zhinan’s hand trembled from the heat. Wen Yun must have thought he was trying to pull away, so he tightened his grip on Xie Zhinan’s wrist, not letting him retreat even an inch.
He lowered his head, his eyelids drooping, and his dark eyes shone brightly, almost as if they were burning. But Xie Zhinan didn’t look away from his eyes, feeling as if he were trapped, unable to move.
“Xie Zhinan, do you like me?” Wen Yun repeated.
This time, it was a statement, without a hint of doubt.
Xie Zhinan felt his throat go numb, his lips numb as well. He didn’t speak for a long while. Wen Yun didn’t rush him. The world was quiet, the only sound being the wind, and Wen Yun quietly watched him, waiting for his answer.
Finally, Xie Zhinan made a move. He instinctively lowered his head, as if admitting his feelings was something shameful. His Adam’s apple moved slightly, his pale lips parted, and in a soft voice, he whispered, “…I like you.”
“Since when?”
Being caught in the act of secretly loving someone, and having the deeper feelings exposed so mercilessly, was like being forced to open a clam shell, revealing its soft, tender insides. Yet Xie Zhinan, ever obedient, had already opened up the shell himself, exposing his most vulnerable parts before anyone even had the chance to pry.
“I’ve liked you for a long time, and… I will always like you.”
“Always?”
“Yeah.”
Xie Zhinan lowered his head. Wen Yun could see the pale, slender neck at the back of his head, his small, reddened ears, and the rosy earlobes, which were surprisingly cute.
He seemed a little shy but still gathered the courage to lift his head, cautiously and tentatively, like a butterfly extending its antennae. He looked at Wen Yun and gave a shy smile. His eyes curved into crescent moons, and there were two little dimples on his fair face, making him look incredibly cute.
“I’ll like you even more in the future,” he said.
And then, the dream shattered.
The fiery sunset turned into fragments and began to collapse, falling apart.
Wen Yun’s gaze was no longer gentle, cold as an icicle, stabbing into Xie Zhinan. He said to him:
“Liar.”
…..
The next day, Xie Zhinan woke up feeling groggy and wandered to work like a ghost.
Li Mo noticed his bad state again and came over to ask, “Xiao Xie, you look even worse today. What’s going on?”
Xie Zhinan had noticeable dark circles under his eyes. He sighed heavily and said, “Nothing, just a bit of insomnia.”
“How about taking some melatonin?” Li Mo suggested.
Xie Zhinan shook his head. After taking melatonin the previous day, he woke up with a headache. it wasn’t that he couldn’t sleep, but he didn’t want to take it again.
“It’s fine, maybe it’s just because I switched pillows recently. I’ll be fine in a couple of days.” He smiled.
Li Mo shrugged and went back to her desk to continue working.
Xie Zhinan wound himself up, hiding all the discomforts, and went about his usual work, moving bricks and occasionally slacking off.
At lunch, he went to the cafeteria and, having learned from yesterday’s experience, specifically chose a dish he loved.
Curry beef brisket with omelette rice, topped with a small piece of fried pork cutlet.
He usually didn’t eat breakfast, and by lunchtime, he was starving, so he ate with great seriousness, until he heard some greetings from behind.
“Mr. Wen.”
“Hello, Mr. Wen.”
…
Xie Zhinan’s heart skipped a beat. His body stiffened, and he stopped eating for a long moment.
He was sitting with his back to the door, in a corner, unnoticeable. They shouldn’t have seen him.
But he still shrunk down a little, trying to make himself as small as possible before continuing to eat slowly.
As the greetings drew nearer, one by one, like a game of “passing the flower,” coming closer and closer, Xie Zhinan could feel them approaching him. The only exit was right in front of him, and he knew that leaving now would mean running into them. So, he tried to make himself even smaller.
Then, someone sat down beside him.
His body reacted before his mind did. It was as though a deep, instinctive feeling had taken over. He froze, not even daring to turn his head to check. He just turned his eyes sideways and caught a glimpse of a familiar profile. Quietly, he returned his gaze and lowered his head.
It would be a bit awkward to leave now, Xie Zhinan thought. He would have to wait until later.
He dazed for a moment, then figured that if he wanted to act normal, he should continue eating without a fuss. So he grabbed his spoon and began to eat slowly again, pretending to be an ostrich, burying his head in his food, trying to act like he hadn’t noticed anything. One spoonful of egg omelette after another.
But actually, he no longer had much of an appetite, so he ate slowly, just wanting to finish in the next few minutes and leave.
He hadn’t even touched the fried pork cutlet yet, which felt like a shame.
At this point, Xie Zhinan couldn’t help but feel a little frustrated. Why did this person have to come and sit next to him now? He hadn’t eaten well yesterday, and now today, it seemed the same.
By accident, he glanced at the plate next to him and saw that it hadn’t been touched at all. Even the spoon and chopsticks were neatly placed on the plate.
Xie Zhinan’s heart skipped again. It was as if he had some premonition. He subconsciously looked up.
Just in time, his gaze met a pair of familiar, jet-black eyes, staring at him intently, with a serious and focused look.
Thump, thump, thump…
His heart rate spiked, and his heart pounded in his chest. Xie Zhinan quickly looked down, as if trying to escape. After two seconds, he realized something was off. It would be a bit strange to keep pretending to be an ostrich now, so he raised his head again, forcing a smile and, in the end, greeted him.
“Hello, Mr. Wen.”
Wen Yun kept his gaze on him without saying a word.
Xie Zhinan felt a bit awkward. He couldn’t maintain his smile, and his fingers tightened, then quickly loosened. Habitually, he lowered his eyelids in front of Wen Yun, politely muttering, “I’m done eating, I won’t disturb… you.”
“What’s wrong with your hand?” Wen Yun finally spoke.
It was still that cold, stone-like voice, which, when it entered Xie Zhinan’s ears, seemed to pierce through to his soul, making him tremble.
He instinctively looked at his hand. It was his left hand, the one he had burned with hot water yesterday. His skin was prone to scarring, and the red mark from the burn yesterday was still there, slightly stinging but not blistered—nothing serious, so Xie Zhinan had ignored it, waiting for it to heal naturally.
He wanted to pull his hand back, to hide it from Wen Yun, but then he thought that pulling it back might make it seem like he was overreacting, so he restrained himself. His fingers only curled slightly, trembling a little, looking as though he had been startled.
“… It’s nothing,” he said, but as soon as the words left his mouth, he felt a bit strange, and even somewhat regretful.
The question had come so naturally, as if they had known each other for a long time.
But shouldn’t he and Wen Yun not be… in a relationship where they would care about each other like this?
Weren’t they still strangers just yesterday?
Xie Zhinan was a bit confused, but he didn’t plan to dwell on this confusion. He was used to accepting things as they came, as long as he accepted it, that was enough.
He and Wen Yun should not be acquainted.
Don’t think too much about it, he thought.
People often create illusions because of an action, and then, from these illusions, form many unwarranted expectations.
And then, this heart is pulled here and there, swinging back and forth, until it no longer belongs to oneself.
So it’s better not to think too much about it.
“I’ll go first, Mr. Wen.” Xie Zhinan picked up his tray and stood up, speaking in a low voice, a bit nervous as if he were fleeing, saying, “…Please take your time.”
“Please.”
This was an unfamiliar way of addressing him between them.
Leaving right after arriving, as if he were someone to be afraid of.
“Xie Zhinan.”
Xie Zhinan had just stood up, holding his tray, and hadn’t taken a step when Wen Yun called his name.
His voice wasn’t loud, just calm, but given Wen Yun’s position and exceptional appearance, ever since he entered the cafeteria, all eyes had been on him. After hearing him call Xie Zhinan’s name, the gazes turned to surprise and curiosity, with a touch of excitement, as if trying to uncover a secret.
The chairman’s eldest son, who would eventually inherit the entire vast corporation, handsome, outstanding in achievements, truly a son of heaven. He had only arrived at the company yesterday. How did he know Xie Zhinan, such a plain, ordinary employee?
Their interaction seemed very strange, as if they were long-time acquaintances.
Xie Zhinan’s back stiffened in an instant. He felt all eyes on him, just like before.
But they weren’t looking at him, but at the identity that was attached to him.
The classmate who had received preferential treatment from Wen Yun, the lover who had dated him, the ex-boyfriend after their breakup…
Now, it seemed they were just looking at someone who appeared to have some past connection with the new boss.
Xie Zhinan pursed his lips, paused, slowly turned around, lowered his eyes, and asked gently, “Mr. Wen, is there something you need?”
He tried to make it seem like they were only interacting due to work matters.
The people around them thought they were being discreet by watching them and were waiting for a result.
Wen Yun stared at Xie Zhinan for a long time without speaking.
He slightly tilted his head to look at Xie Zhinan’s face.
Xie Zhinan seemed to have neglected his hair for a long time. His bangs were a bit long, casting a shadow over his eyelids. His cheeks were pale and thin, and his lips had a faint color, with little blood.
His shoulders were tense, rigid, and perhaps he didn’t even realize he was displaying a defensive posture. His fingers clenched the edge of the tray with force, so tightly that they trembled slightly.
It seemed like if Wen Yun revealed they were old acquaintances in front of everyone, Xie Zhinan would completely break down.
But Wen Yun simply stared at his face.
He thought, Xie Zhinan had lost a lot of weight.
