༺ Requesting Cloud Support from a Shooting Star – 11 ༻
The plan was to go straight to bed after the shower, but after being hit with cold water, my mind became crystal clear. Hee-wook, who hastily dried his still-damp hair and stepped outside, plopped down on the dining table chair and glared at the magazine turned upside down.
The fashion magazine had as its cover star a handsome actor who had just turned an adult, and was touted as this year’s most promising. Hee-wook, who was completely sober and aimlessly tapping his hands on the sofa, eventually stood up and picked up the magazine. He found and opened the actor’s interview page.
The conversation with the editor was not long.
E: You mentioned that the most important thing to you is ‘never giving up’.
Kyung Seo: Yes, that’s correct. But I also learned this from others. I was not confident in this path. They told me why I should back down when I seem to do well. They told me never to give up. I try to learn from those who work hard and consistently.
E: That’s wonderful, isn’t it?
Kyung Seo: There are people who have talent but do nothing, letting their talents rot away. I don’t want to be such a person. (laughs) I think it would be frustrating if I were a fan.
In the photoshoot, Kyung Seo was looking straight ahead, chin raised and eyes downcast. Hee-wook, who was reading the interview, made eye contact with Kyung Seo in the photograph. The paper-pressed figure seemed to be laughing at him.
‘I don’t want to be a person who does nothing.’
His face became hot. He hurriedly got up from his seat, considering it due to the resurgence of alcohol.
The magazine was pushed into a corner bookshelf in the library. Out of sight.
For the next few days, Hee-wook locked himself in his room and worked on a music composition program. Although he wanted to create many original songs when he had a lot of time, strangely, his hands kept stopping. His focus kept getting disrupted.
“Is this burnout?”
He closed the laptop and smacked his forehead hard. He chuckled, it was hollow.
“What did I do to burnout?”
He spat out a sigh mixed with self-talk and hit his forehead against the laptop again. Tears welled up. He made an excuse that no one would hear, saying it was because it hurt.
The shadows under his eyes grew significantly darker, but the days of stress continued without a single satisfying song completed. Then one day.
[Eun-sung: I’m going to the final audition]
A message from Eun-sung popped up in the Two Planet group chat.
“……Oh!”
Hee-wook, who was sitting hunched over, unknowingly straightened his back.
Jae Gyu sent a congratulatory message along with a loud emoticon. The number ‘1’ was attached next to each speech bubble. It was a room without Yoon Min who left, only Young Woo had not read it yet.
Hee-wook just stared at the chat window without saying anything.
[Kim Jae Gyu: When is the final?]
[Eun-sung: Friday]
[Kim Jae Gyu: The day after tomorrow? Are you going alone? Or with the manager]
[Eun-sung: Where’s the manager when there’s no company]
[Eun-sung: I have to go alone]
[Kim Jae Gyu: ㅠㅠ I have a meeting with my uncle that day]
Jae Gyu had said that his uncle might work at his cafe. Hee-wook, who had been watching the two chatter, loosened his grip on his wrist and put down his cell phone.
He felt conflicted. Eun-sung was the one who had initially looked up the audition, and since he had no ambition for acting, there was no reason to be jealous, but he couldn’t sincerely congratulate him because he felt pathetic about his situation.
Hee-wook stumbled out of his room and lay down at length on the living room sofa. He casually threw his phone somewhere. He cursed at himself.
“What a loser……”
He had been cooped up at home for several days without going out. He was trying not to waste this time, not to play. He hummed songs and wrote notes all day, but there was no progress because he just deleted everything a moment ago.
He closed his eyes tightly, then slowly lifted his eyelids. He caught the black dots reflecting on the ceiling light in his eyes and took a deep sigh. This scene felt strangely new.
During his trainee days or after debut, he was so busy that he didn’t even have time to properly lie down. Of course, there was no time to stare blankly at the ceiling, wrapped up in all sorts of thoughts.
‘What are my fans doing? While I’m stuck like this.’
He stretched out his arm and fumbled for his phone. Logging into social media, Hee-wook slowly browsed through his account. Except for the post announcing his military discharge, all the photos were from his idol activities. The feed was frozen, just like Hee-wook’s situation.
He absentmindedly checked the comments and his eyes narrowed. Although updates had stopped a long time ago, there were comments posted just a few days ago.
[I believe you won’t give up easily.]
It was a comment left under the last picture he uploaded months ago, a photo of his idiotic face smiling brightly and saluting after his military discharge.
He wanted to ask what kind of expectations they had for someone who was laughing foolishly without knowing what was ahead and without knowing that the group would disband. At the same time, tears welled up in his eyes.
“Give up……”
Hee-wook, clenching his fist tightly, got up. He walked straight to the study and took out a magazine he had stashed away last time. He flipped through the pages and once again burned the image of Kyung Seo’s face and his interview into his eyes.
Cheon Kyung Seo, who was annoyingly handsome and young, and Eun-sung, who had been the quietest in the group, were both trying hard not to give up and move forward.
If he was stuck just holding onto music in his room, he decided he had to try doing something else, any effort to regain his proficiency.
Contrary to the hesitation he had just shown in congratulating, he quickly dialed Eun-sung’s number. The call connected quickly.
“Eun-sung.”
-Why did you call?
At the bewildered voice, Hee-wook took a deep breath.
“I’ll buy you a coffee. Come out.”
-Huh? Right now?
“I…”
Hee-wook steadied his breath. He swallowed the shame he had been avoiding and rejecting until now in one gulp.
“I have a favor to ask.”
＊＊＊
“Eh? You want me to take you to the final audition?”
Eun-sung, who was drinking iced Americano, hurriedly asked back and then coughed. Hee-wook nodded with a serious expression.
“Stay by my side as my manager.”
“As a manager?”
“Will that be too uncomfortable for you?”
“No… but wouldn’t you be hurt for no reason? If I had been the one who made it and you were the one who got eliminated, I don’t think I could have followed. It’s a narrow-minded thing to say.”
Hee-wook didn’t think that way. He too had felt down at first. After soothing his dry throat with a sip of coffee, Hee-wook replied in a small voice.
“I thought maybe if I go to the broadcasting station…something might come of it.”
Eun-sung made an ‘ah’ sound and scratched his forehead.
“Well, that could be possible. They said people from the industry would be coming. JM is also participating in the production, so people from there will also be coming. It would be great if I could get noticed.”
JM was one of the three major entertainment companies in South Korea. He heard that several celebrities from JM were appearing in the drama. Eun-sung continued speaking while furrowing his eyebrows.
“The chance of that happening is really small. I might end up just doing my manager duties. No, it would be almost the same as wasting time. Are you sure you’re okay with that?”
“Yeah, it’s okay.”
“If you’re okay with it then it’s fine. For me, it’s a favor.”
“Alright, then I’ll pick you up on Friday. I’ll borrow my father’s car.”
Getting a driving license earlier had been one of the things that Hee-wook was proud of. At Hee-wook’s words, Eun-sung nodded and suddenly made a teasing face.
“Did you dye your hair again to stand out? It’s been a while since I’ve seen your red hair.”
It was a bit strange, but it wasn’t meant to pick a fight.
“This is just…”
Hee-wook touched the red hair sticking out from under his hat.
“I thought it might motivate me a bit if I dyed my hair like I used to in the prime of our days.”
“It’s not bad. Good for motivation.”
Eun-sung shrugged his shoulders, put the straw in his mouth, and slurped his coffee. An unawkward silence passed between them. Hee-wook let out a sigh of relief. He thought that Eun-sung might reject his offer because it wasn’t solely for the sake of the members that he had offered to accompany him as a manager.
“Thank you.”
“For what?”
“For agreeing to watch the audition together. And for letting me take you to the broadcasting station.”
“It’s not that big of a deal.”
Eun-sung laughed softly and stared straight at Hee-wook.
“You look good being busy.”
Eun-sung’s cheeks were sunken due to losing a lot of weight compared to the time when they were active as a group. Hee-wook, who had been quietly observing that curve, pushed his phone forward.
“Can you take a picture of me?”
Eun-sung looked at Hee-wook with a puzzled look. He awkwardly explained.
“Well, for the fans. I’m going to post it.”
“Finally?”
With a sigh, Eun-sung smiled slightly.
“Anyway, you’ve thought well, hyung.”
When Hee-wook looked at him, asking what he was talking about, Eun-sung added while turning on the camera.
“All of it.”
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