༺ Requesting Cloud Support from a Shooting Star – 5 ༻
“The company went bankrupt.”
Young Woo, whom I saw after a long time, looked a lot distressed. Living not far from the company, he rushed out immediately upon receiving Hee-wook’s call.
“Corona is getting worse, and Yoon-min, who was the face of our company, left. Even if we create content on our own, we only suffer losses. The CEO tried to continue since we decided to renew our contract. But in the end… he couldn’t.”
Hee-wook lowered his gaze while watching Young Woo, the youngest, stammering. His body felt like it was continuously sinking downwards.
“Why… didn’t you tell me about the situation in detail?”
“I thought I shouldn’t worry you while you’re struggling in the military.”
Hee-wook bit his pale lips. Young Woo squeezed his eyes shut, then deeply bowed his head.
“I thought the situation would improve before your discharge. I’m sorry.”
“No, it’s not your fault.”
Believing too naively that everything would be solved once he returned from the military, it was Hee-wook who was complacent more than anyone. Perhaps, as the eldest, he had avoided the troublesome situation, passing it onto his younger siblings, and escaping to the military. Hee-wook, at the end of his gloomy thoughts, arrived at self-blame and regret, avoiding Young Woo’s gaze.
“……Go home. Let’s meet again another time.”
Hee-wook, who turned his body, trudged away. The sound of his suitcase wheels rolling on the floor annoyed him. There was nothing wrong with it, but it felt like it kept slipping. The harsh sound of the wheels was almost enough to bring tears, so he ended up lifting it and walking.
Having nowhere to go after leaving his lodging, Hee-wook returned to his parents’ apartment located in Guri city, Gyeonggi province. Instead of Hee-wook’s discharge announcement, the news of Two Planet’s disbandment came out, and the family silently accepted their son who had hit rock bottom.
An ivory-colored bedspread was spread over the bed, an empty desk, a bookshelf with a few Two Planet albums, and nothing else in the tidy room. Hee-wook, who returned home, holed up in his room.
It was at least a relief that the room was well soundproofed since his trainee days. Hee-wook sang every day. He wanted to sing for his fans. Even after the group disbanded, he was determined to continue singing and tried to show his resolve.
He sang while playing the guitar, and sang songs he had liked since his trainee days. But he was never satisfied. He was filled with a sense of frustration, wondering if his skills had declined while he was in the military.
‘What should I do?’
In the end, he even developed insomnia that he didn’t have before. Whenever he managed to fall asleep, he repeatedly had dreams of failure. Most of them were mistakes, events, or accidents that could happen in reality. Even sleep became tiring as he experienced failure after failure in his dreams.
‘How can I get out of this situation?’
Since posting the news of his discharge on social media, he was unable to upload anything else. He couldn’t upload any songs because they weren’t of good enough quality to be shown to people, and since he was living like a recluse at home, he didn’t have any photos to upload. There were multiple comments from fans who missed Hee-wook on his last post.
While chewing on the tips of his nails, Hee-wook hesitated for a moment, then clicked the paper airplane icon in the upper right corner. Amongst the DMs that were no different from spam, he could see familiar fans’ IDs and profile pictures.
The tone of the fans looking for Hee-wook, who had gone silent after the team’s disbandment, varied.
[I miss you so much, Hee-wook ㅠㅠ]
A person who didn’t hide their sadness.
[Are you really going to be MIA like this? Don’t you think about your fans? Are you going to retire?]
A person who was angry at Hee-wook for doing nothing.
[Woogie woogie, fighting today too!]
A person who cheerfully greeted him as if nothing was wrong.
His heart felt poked here and there. Hee-wook, who was silently reading each of the piled up messages, suddenly stopped his fingers.
[YK_woogie: Hee-wook oppa. Hello.. it’s Yu-kyung. Do you still remember me? It’s been so long since we last met, you might have forgotten.]
The message continued with considerably longer content than the others. Hee-wook slowly scrolled down. Remember her? Of course, he did. He received so many letters from her, both during his activities and in the military. There was no way he could have forgotten her.
Of course, he couldn’t specifically recall her face. The time Yu-kyung had visited him was a long time ago, and the account that had sent the DM didn’t have a profile picture. Since Yu-kyung was only a middle school student at the time, she would have grown up a lot by now, and it would have been hard to recognize her even if they happened to meet.
But he distinctly remembered the image of her being very shy, with long arms and legs.
[YK_woogie: Honestly, I thought I’d be able to see you again soon at TwoPlanet after you were discharged. I even promised myself that I would go to the concert when TwoPlanet makes a comeback. I was… going to muster up the courage.]
It was strange to hear that a die-hard fan who had attended all the small events like fan signings needed ‘courage’ to attend a concert with more people.
But more than that, he felt sorry. The news he had returned to his fans who had waited for his discharge was not about a concert or a comeback, but about disbandment.
[YK_woogie: I’m upset that things are not going as I thought they would. But I bet you’re having a much harder time, more disappointed, and tired than I am… I think I’d want to give up too.. It seems like it’s all dark ahead.]
That was certainly the case. He felt as if he was trapped in a dark pit. He knew he shouldn’t fall like this, but his body didn’t move. It was pitch-black ahead, without any direction or speed to move forward.
Two lines of crying emoticons continued. At the end of the emoticons wetting their cheeks with tears, there was the word ‘but’.
[YK_woogie: But still… I want to see Sung Hee-wook singing again.]
After returning from the military, he was already twenty-nine. When he thought about the days he stood on the stage, a hollow laugh escaped. The ‘singing Sung Hee-wook’ he remembered felt too young, too far away.
[YK_woogie: I hope it doesn’t end like this.]
‘Hasn’t it already ended?’
Hee-wook, who let out a self-mocking laugh, put down his phone as if throwing it away. He headed to the living room with a drained gait. His parents’ house was on the first floor of an apartment, and standing close to the balcony, he could see the passersby quite well.
Since everyone was wearing a mask, he couldn’t see their faces. Hee-wook touched the bare skin near his mouth. It felt suffocating as if someone had put a thick, invisible mask on his face.
“Sung Hee-wook, it’s okay.”
He muttered it out of habit.
“It’s okay.”
But he was not okay at all.
***
He had spent most of his time in his room, on a chair, so his knees didn’t have enough strength. It felt like his legs had lost their original function. Hee-wook, who had become paler from hardly seeing the sun, slowly got up from his chair.
He knew he had to get out of the room and do something productive, but it was not easy to shake off the lethargy pressing down on his whole body. Eventually, he gave up on going outside and collapsed on his bed.
While listening to music on his bed and idly passing time as usual, a noise that annoyed Hee-wook occurred.
Wooong, wooong.
It was someone’s call.
[Lee Eun-sung]
Seeing the name after a long time, Hee-wook blankly stared at the screen for a while before picking up late. He was glad, but the confusion of wondering what was happening was greater. As soon as he said hello, Eun-sung’s question came back immediately.
– Hyung, do you have any plans to audition? For a broadcast.
Hee-wook blinked his eyes in surprise at the abrupt question. Various audition programs passed through his mind. Especially those idol survival programs where young trainees in their late teens and early twenties appeared.
“What are you saying? Is there a survival program that accepts a person who’s almost thirty?”
– Not like that.
Eun-sung, who directly denied Hee-wook’s question with a hollow laugh, took a breath and continued his words.
– I’m talking about a drama.
Hee-wook furrowed his brow at the unexpected word.
“A drama?”
– It’s an idol drama audition, and the lead roles that are already cast are absolutely solid. The director is a famous person too. It’s guaranteed to be a hot topic. They’re casting for the role of an idol, so I thought we might try challenging it.
“…I suppose.”
– Jae-gyu and Young-woo have almost given up. They’re okay with living like that. But what about you, hyung?
As his voice gradually grew heated, it felt as if it was gripping Hee-wook’s collar, causing him to close his eyes tightly.
– Do you have the confidence to live a normal life like them? Start studying again, take tests to get a certificate, find a job. Only singing as a hobby. Can you do that?
He was already at the tail end of his twenties. His friends who graduated from the same high school had long since graduated from university and become salaried workers, receiving a stable monthly salary for the most part.
Hee-wook had dreamed of being a singer since his teenage years. He had long given up on studying, and there was nothing else he wanted to do other than sing.
– I don’t have the confidence.
He didn’t have the confidence to start anew on a completely different track either.
“So? You’re going to become an actor, like Cha Yoon-min?”
– Because it’s realistically hard to start all over again as an idol trainee and re-debut. I’m already twenty-five.
While Hee-wook was internally surprised that Eun-sung, who was part of the youngest line in TwoPlanet, was already in his mid-twenties, Eun-sung let out a deep sigh.
– I want to hold on to something, anything, that gives me the certainty that I belong in the entertainment industry.
“…Eun-sung.”
– If you have another solution, you can try that. I want to try for the audition.
Eun-sung, who seemed to be resigned to his fate, appeared ready to hang up the call. Hee-wook, who had been hesitating, bit his lower lip hard.
“Lee Eun-sung, hold on.”
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