Episode 14: “When the pain goes away”
“Masaomi, you…!”
“I like Kana. I’ll protect Kana. Kazuki only needs to protect himself. It’s easy, right?”
I’m no longer myself.
Calmly and objectively, I knew what I was talking about.
What do I have to lose by saying these words?
By saying out loud that I love Kana, I tried to push through my feelings. I blocked the way out so that I could never turn back.
I have no choice but to move on. Even if it’s a thorny path or a wrong path.
“Kana, we’ll always be together. From now on too.”
“Yeah!”
Kazuki’s fists tremble.
A fist filled with hatred was raised. I was standing leaning against the locker, and by lowering my weight I narrowly dodged Kazuki’s fist. Kazuki, not expecting me to dodge, slammed his fist into the locker.
The dry sound of someone banging on a locker echoes through the classroom.
I moved around to Kazuki’s side and kept my upper body low.
Kazuki’s empty fist contains enough power to dent a locker.
The magnitude of that hatred and anger is immeasurable.
“Masaomi…… I’m completely, in you” (TN: probably “I completely disappointed in you.”)
“So sorry. For being this kind of guy.”
Blood drips from the fingers of Kazuki’s right hand. He is red and trembling.
“If it’s now, you can still”
Kazuki tries to loosen his grip, clinging to a faint hope. But I didn’t allow it.
“I have no intention of going back. I can’t go back now. Besides… you said that, Kazuki.”
“Yeah… that’s right. I said that.”
“I broke it off.”
I rush towards Kazuki. I tackled Kazuki in a low position and caught him by the waist. Kazuki’s hips hit the floor littered with textbooks and prints. I straddled Kazuki’s waist and raised my fist at Kazuki from the mounted position.
“You!”
I sunk my fist into Kazuki’s cheek.
A blow from close range will definitely damage Kazuki. The pain of hitting someone. Both the person who was hit and the person who hit them suffer the same amount of pain.
My fist screamed.
Hard to hard, bone to bone, heart to heart.
Kazuki and I are chipping away at each other’s minds and bodies.
“You!”
…I admired him.
I was closer to him than anyone else. We understood each other better than anyone else. I thought we would always be friends.
Even as we grow older, even as we grow apart, forever and ever.
――I thought we were best friends.
“Don’t joke with me……”
Kazuki, whose eyes were swollen, kicked my back with his free leg. I received a painful blow to the back of my head, and I collapsed so that I was covering Kazuki.
Kazuki didn’t miss that.
He quickly turns his body around, and this time he tries to straddle me. I knew that, so I accelerated my forward body even more and rolled forward, putting some distance between me and Kazuki.
However, my carelessness in keeping my distance drastically changed what happened next.
I turned around while still kneeling on the floor, but I let my guard down and failed to notice Kazuki, who had approached me right in front of me. The damage to my lower back caused by the desk still hasn’t gone away.
It takes me a while to even stand up.
As a result, I received Kazuki’s knee in the temple.
It was as if my brain had ruptured. The impact that entered my right skull bursts out from the left skull.
My vision splits into two parts, and I feel like my consciousness is about to slip out of my body.
I fell to the floor without being able to touch it.
The next attack came quickly.
Kazuki tried to kick me in the stomach as I fell sideways on the floor.
It looked like it was in slow motion. He swings his leg up as if was kicking a soccer ball.
Kazuki’s face could be seen in the gap between the slowly moving moments.
――Why does Kazuki look so sad?
Even though he is someone who should be filled with hatred. He had his love taken away from him in the worst possible way. Why does he look so sad while trying to hit me?
I see…… That’s right. I knew already. Kazuki is……
“――Stop!”
――Kazuki-kun is…… actually a good person, I know that much.
I thought I heard Natsumi’s tear-filled voice.
“Stop. If Masaomi is in pain, I will hurt too.”
Kana, who was protecting me, blocked Kazuki’s kick. As if hugging Kazuki’s leg, she grabbed it and wouldn’t let go. The kick that got the backswing must have been quite heavy.
If it was a girl, it would be so intense that she would start crying and not be able to stand up.
“Stop, Kazuki.”
Kana was smiling. She doesn’t show that she’s in pain. She’s coughing a bit, but she doesn’t let her smile fade.
Kazuki seemed stunned. He pulls his leg out of Kana’s arms and leaves the classroom without saying a word.
After a while, I heard the sound of glass breaking from a distance.
Kazuki’s heartbreaking roar echoes through the hallway.
“Masaomi, are you okay?”
My headache is so bad that Kana’s voice sounds far away. It feels like I have an out-of-body project and is looking down at myself. The sense of reality begins to fade.
“Masaomi?”
The pain comes and goes like waves. I blink, trying not to close my eyelids from the pain.
The scenery of the classroom spread out there.
A latecomer rushes into the classroom and sticks out his tongue at his friend. The female students gather in the seats reserved for girls who have leadership roles, and get excited talking about the handsome boys from the high school next door.
Natsumi prepares for her next class with Katou-san.
It seems that Katou-san hasn’t done her homework and is copying Natsumi’s notes.
Kana was sitting in her seat like an ornament, smiling as usual. Kazuki and I are in front of Kana’s line of sight. We clap each other on the shoulder, shed tears, and laugh while holding our stomachs.
When the homeroom teacher came in, everyone hurried back to their seats and turned their attention to the teacher’s desk. When the teacher greets the morning in a loud voice, all the students respond at their own voices.
Everyone’s smiles are dazzling.
…I blink.
The scenery of the classroom spread out there.
There is no desk, chair, or teacher’s desk, but instead the remains of notebooks, textbooks, and printouts thrown from the desk are scattered about. The contents of a broken pencil case are scattered about, and the plastic lining has spider web-like cracks.
Kana’s cell phone, which I brought with me, was also lying on the floor as if it had been thrown away.
And Natsumi is lying in the center of the classroom, a handkerchief over her face. The bond between me and Kazuki, which I thought would never be broken, suddenly ended.
There was no smile, voice, or figure of anyone there.
“Masaomi?”
My tears flow endlessly.
Precious time that cannot be brought back. Important things, important people.
There’s nothing left now.
“Masaomi, does it hurt?”
“I…I lost a lot of things that I shouldn’t have lost…things that I can never get back…”
The school life that I thought would last forever. The fun times that I thought would never end.
“That’s what it means to break up. It’s easier now, isn’t it? Masaomi was able to unload the burden he’s been carrying for so long, right?”
Even though she must be in pain, she smiles and hugs me. The two of us lie down and hug each other.
“Now you don’t have to suffer anymore. You’re free, Masaomi.”
Lacrimal glands that never run dry. Drops flowing like water.
“If this pain goes away, I’m sure Masaomi will become stronger. After all, you were able to come to a clean decision.”
I hugged Kana tightly and continued crying.
Until I could no longer see this classroom through the tears…
