Chapter 20: “How does it feel to be a hypocrite?”
……Once the explosion and flames subsided, I slowly lifted my body covering Mutsuki-san.
The swarm of spiders that were clinging to my back started to peel off. Some were turned into charcoal, some were charred, some had legs and some eyes were missing, giving an impression of the scale of the explosion.
The reason I didn’t faint was because of the spiders that covered my body.
Is this the blessing of misfortune?
If the spider hadn’t stuck to my body, I would have suffered severe burns all over my body and might have lost my life.
Meanwhile, the monster that gave birth to a large number of spiders was stuck in a cupboard in the laboratory. Limbs are missing at the base. His entire body was pitch black, and even the spider that was clinging to him showed no movement.
There are dismembered spider carcasses lying on the floor around me, and I’m surprised by the sheer number of them. The glass in the laboratory was broken.
“Mutsuki-san!”
I shake Mutsuki-san’s shoulders.
Even though I’m not a monster. it’s ironic that I was still alive while being covered in spiders.
“Mutsuki-san!”
Even though I called out over and over again, there was no response. Her eyelids were down and she showed no signs of waking up.
“It can’t be…… no way……”
I felt chilled.
I hurriedly brought my ear close to the tip of her nose to check if she was breathing.
“What a relief…… she’s breathing.”
I was so relieved that I sat on my butt. The roasted spider that was under my butt broke with a sound like a branch breaking.
“I guess I’m…… alive.”
My whole body is hot. Even though the spiders were covering me, my skin was burned by the heat. It was almost a miracle that I escaped with only minor burns and a flushed body. I find it funny that I was able to stumble upon such a miracle.
“I wonder if this is good enough…… Natsumi, Katou-san……”
It means sticking to what I believe is right. I was able to accomplish just one thing now.
“No…… That’s not it.”
I look at the monster with spiders on its upper body.
It sank into the cupboard and never moved again. It looks like it’s missing half of its body, just like a silent corpse.
“Once again, I couldn’t save him……”
The monster was also human.
Tear ducts were stimulated. If you sacrificed someone in order to save someone else, that would be the same as cutting someone off.
Perhaps my beliefs are nothing more than mere empty rhetoric.
The frustration of my own powerlessness is just bitter.
I strike my fist onto the spider rolling on the floor. The dry spider broke easily, just like collapsing a sandcastle.
“What is it that you want to do?”
Mutsuki-san, who was still lying on her side, opened her eyes.
“You’re awake.”
“If you keep mumbling to yourself like that, of course I’ll wake up.”
Mutsuki-san, who was covered in injuries, painfully sat up and looked at me.
“Tell me. What do you want to do?”
I carefully peel off the spider claws that are stuck on my uniform one by one and throw them away. My blood glue was stuck to the sharp nails.
“I want to help them.”
I stood up, relieved that there was nothing wrong with my body.
I took off my uniform jacket, which was torn in places, and brushed the dust off my pants with my hands.
“…I don’t want to sacrifice someone else in order to help someone else, or think only of myself and abandon someone.”
I extends my hand to Mutsuki-san, who doesn’t seem able to stand up on her own.
“Even if you hurt yourself? Even if it leads to your death?”
Instead of trying to take the outstretched hand, she stares at me from below.
It’s like she’s trying to see through my mysterious true intentions.
“I think this is the evidence,”
She looked around the laboratory with a bit of exaggeration. Pieces of glass with melted edges and blackened edges, the remains of spiders, container shelves turned into pieces of wood, experimental equipment, and motionless monster.
“It’s true. Worst case scenario, I would have died”
She tried to cross her arms, but the pain seemed to prevent her from doing so. Mutsuki-san frowns.
“But I’m alive.”
I was happy that Mutsuki-san was still alive like this.
“Just barely. Don’t make fun of me.”
She picks up a piece of glass that was lying near her and throws it at me.
“It was……Masaomi, right? Your name.”
Taking several minutes to remember my name, that’s so like Mutsuki-san.
“I want to get some treatment, but can you take me to the infirmary?”
“I don’t mine.”
“Masaomi, lend me your shoulder.”
When I sat down to the left of Mutsuki-san, who was sitting upright, Mutsuki-san put her left arm around my left shoulder. Her right hand and right leg were seriously injured in the deadly fight with the monster.
“How does it feel to be a hypocrite?”
We left the laboratory and walked down the hallway. The hallway illuminated by the white moon is a fantastic space. Her words quietly melt into the moonlit night.
“……It’s hard.”
“You’re a fool, aren’t you?”
“Maybe.”
“You are.”
“But it’s what I think is right.”
The way Mutsuki-san walked while protecting her right leg was like a two-legged race at a sports day.
“What is right is different for each person. For example…”
She begins to think.
“Suppose Masaomi is on a boat. There are three people on the boat, and there are two empty seats. And three people are drowning nearby. Two people can be saved, but one person has to be abandoned. If you put everyone on the boat, the boat will sink and everyone will die.”
The nameplate of the infirmary comes into view.
“If it were me, I would abandon one person without hesitation. There is no substitute for everyone’s sacrifice. It would be a shame if everyone sacrificed themselves while trying to help someone…This is the right thing to do. I don’t think you can blame me. It’s a simple problem that anyone can understand.”
We stopped in front of the door of the infirmary.
I looked sincerely into the eyes of Mutsuki-san, who was right next to me.
If I bring my face a little closer, our noses will touch.
“W-what? If you have something to say, say it.”
It’s probably just my imagination that her cheeks are a little red. It only looks that way because it’s dirty with soot.
“I’ll get off the boat.”
“Ha?”
“If I get off the boat, I can save everybody. That’s my own righteousness.”
I tried smiling.
Like laughing at my own stupidity. As if to ridicule my own hypocrisy.
“…You’re an astounding hypocrite. Even though you’re more cowardly than anyone else, and is likely the first to occupy the boat.”
I took a deep breath and opened the door to the infirmary.
“But even though I know it’s hypocrisy, my answer remains the same.”
Always be considerate of someone. I learned that from Natsumi.
“…If I hadn’t gotten hurt, I would have punched you so hard you couldn’t stand up again.”
“I’d like you to not do that…..”
“I’m just kidding. I’ll do my best to help you stand up.”
This time it was my turn to sigh.
