Chapter 5 – The stars are broken, and I walk barefoot on the grass.
The dim light shone on the bed, the floor was a mess, and the air was full of ambiguity.
Gu Su leaned back on the bed, staring fixedly at the ceiling. She didn’t know how long it had been, but a coolness came over her, and she couldn’t help but sneeze, only to realize that her hands and feet were already cold.
She haphazardly pulled over the covers, but she was still shivering from the cold, her teeth chattering uncontrollably.
That was the chill that emanated from her bones.
Zhang Chengyu was sleeping beside her, Gu Su turned sideways to look at him, the sleeping Zhang Chengyu didn’t have the sharpness he had when he was awake, he looked handsome and gentle.
She looked at him for a while, and subconsciously raised her hand to touch his skin, wanting to draw a bit of warmth, but her fingertips stopped at the moment they were about to touch his cheek. She was afraid, afraid of Zhang Chengyu’s eyes that always carried a sneer and impatience when he woke up.
Zhang Cheng Yu moved and let out a murmur. She suddenly remembered something and took out a bottle from inside the nightstand, after a moment of hesitation, she poured out a small pill.
When she came back from the kitchen after drinking water, Zhang Cheng Yu had already woken up, half leaning on the bed holding the bottle of pills in his hand, expressionless as he looked at Gu Su. “You’re taking birth control pills?”
Gu Su nodded.
“You don’t want a child?” Zhang Cheng Yu’s voice was filled with disbelief.
The two oldest members of the Zhang family had long been making insinuations from the sidelines, and even Gu Su’s parents had begun to urge, so Zhang Cheng Yu had always thought that it was the timing that was wrong, but he hadn’t realized that it was because Gu Su didn’t want to get pregnant at all.
How can she not want to? Unlike Gu Yun, Gu Su was born with a love for children, and dreamed of having a chubby little baby. But how could she want to have a child under these circumstances?
She looked at the man in front of her wearily, “Do you think the two of us can have a baby like this? I want my baby to live in a normal family.”
Zhang Cheng Yu squeezed the bottle tightly, almost wanting to snap this woman’s neck, “Didn’t your father tell you, I’ve already signed that contract today, and I’ve already given you all that you want.”
“What have you given us what we want ……,” Gu Su laughed nervously, “Do you know what I want?”
“You know in your heart what you want, and to tell you the truth, if you test my bottom line again and again like this, even if your sister is still around, there’s no way I can satisfy your appetite.” Zhang Cheng Yu’s voice was low and cold.
Gu Su was stunned for a moment, “My father has looked for you many times?”
Zhang Cheng Yu looked at her steadily and suddenly smiled, “Gu Su, you can really act. Xiao Yun actually has a sister with such a deep heart like you, I thought …… I could take good care of you for her, I was overthinking, you don’t need my care at all.”
Gu Su’s headache was pounding, and with all the emotions festering in her chest, she screamed hysterically, “What the hell did I do! Zhang Cheng Yu, can you let me just die with clarity!”
Zhang Chengyu’s face was gloomy as he threw the bottle of pills in his hand with a force, and with a clang, the bottle fell to the ground and shattered, the pills rolled out all over the place: “It’s the middle of the night, why are you acting so crazy? Go and have a good conversation with your father, so that you don’t have to lie when you’ve got the wrong person in front of you.”
He no longer cared about Gu Su, and directly laid down to sleep.
Gu Su stood there dumbfounded for a long time before asking, “Zhang Chengyu, if you look down on me like this, why did you agree to get married in the first place?”
There was no sound in the room for a long time.
Gu Su almost thought she couldn’t wait for an answer as she slowly squatted down, mechanically picking up the pills one by one.
“I’m sorry Xiao Yun, I want to make up for my mistake.” Zhang Cheng Yu’s voice was barely audible, as if he was explaining to her, yet as if he was mumbling.
Gu Su thought for a long time but couldn’t figure out the logic. Zhang Cheng Yu and Gu Yun were lovers, how could there be any right or wrong? The only explanation was that Zhang Cheng Yu loved Gu Yun too much and took Gu Yun’s death onto his own sense of responsibility and morality.
She took Gu Yun’s place in the marriage, but couldn’t take Gu Yun’s place in love.
Or, the current situation of being in such a sorry state is God’s way of punishing her for her delusion.
The QQ on the computer popped up, the team leader transmitted the outside view of the property, Gu Su clicked receive and watched as each picture was downloaded.
Suddenly unable to control her right hand, she clicked on the QQ avatar on her desktop and entered a line of numbers.
She thought she had long forgotten the number, but it turned out that the string of numbers had been engraved in her brain.
QQ is logged in, the avatar is a photo of her, quirkily wearing a black and white panda hat that covers her face, revealing only the beautiful curve of her chin, and her personalized signature is still the same as the one from three years ago: the stars are broken, and I’m walking barefoot on the grass.
It was the context from Sodergren’s The Stars, which she used to love.
Her friends list was the same as before, with high school and college classmates, Q-group buddies, and a few close friends, but most of them had moved from this number to the one she used often now.
At the top of the list, there was a Q number called “chapter book”, which was separately categorized in the “dear” group.
Gu Su stared at this name for a while, and made up her mind to click on it.
The chat logs are very long, hundreds of pages, but the period of time is only about two months, and ended abruptly three years ago.
She flipped open a random page and stared at the familiar words on it in fascination.
Cold Mountain: I was so angry today when I saw that video of the beatings.
Chapter book: which video?
Cold Mountain: You don’t care about social news, you just care about making money, bad judgment.
Chapter book: then you come to guide me a little.
Cold Mountain: It’s that video of the police beating people ah, so pitiful. That stall owner’s clothes were torn off, and she was still trying to protect the child.
Chapter book: oh.
Cold Mountain: Are you watching it? Aren’t you angry? Make a quick comment, I’m going to retweet and curse.
Chapter book: I suggest you wait twenty-four hours before you go retweeting and cursing.
Cold Mountain: Hey hey hey, are you there?
Cold Mountain: octopus big brother you quickly come back, quickly come back, I one person can not withstand it.
Chapter book: what’s the matter?
Cold Mountain: I worship you so much, that video was reversed.
Cold Mountain: there is an official version of the video coming out, that stall owner was selling rat meat as mutton and also disturbs the people with loud speakers. The police wanted to take her away so she fell to the ground to throw a tantrum, tearing her own clothes and also pushing her child towards the police.
Cold Mountain: Why is there this kind of mom ah!
Chapter book: Grow a heart ah little sister, you’re so stupid I’m worried about you.
Cold Mountain: How about you come to my side and protect me?
Chapter Novel: Are there benefits? I’ll consider it if there are.
Cold Mountain: presenting a genius beauty girl, does your heart move?
Chapbook: Not really.
Cold Mountain: the genius beauty girl plays a song for you personally, did your heart move?
Chapter book: A little bit of it.
……
Gu Su’s nose was sore for a while, the chatting scene seemed like yesterday. She carried a budding young girl’s heart and typed out her admiration on the keyboard one by one.
After the interview that day, the original Zhang Cheng Yu wanted to invite them to dinner, but unfortunately there were sudden important matters. In the end, they did not eat, and finally left each other’s QQ number.
She couldn’t help but be excited about it and added him as her friend at the first opportunity.
It was Zhang Chengyu who she met first. She and Zhang Chengyu chatted on QQ for two months. It was she who formally asked Zhang Chengyu to meet. She dreamed of moving from the Internet to reality… Unfortunately, something went wrong before the final meeting. Gu Yun was at a cocktail party and it was love at first sight for Zhang Chengyu.
The two sisters have always been very affectionate, Gu Yun from childhood has covered Gu Su, from school to their life, there are almost no secrets between the two. The cell phone’s screen password, QQ’s password, and the bank card’s password are almost all shared. Falling in love with Zhang Cheng Yu, Gu Su did not hide it from Gu Yun either.
“Su Su, you and him really don’t fit.”
“I get along with him very well, I have this confidence to make him fall in love with me.”
“I need him, the Gu family needs him, we can’t lose this opportunity, trust me, you’ll have a better choice later.”
Gu Yun looked confident, as if her love could be trusted.
She was indeed smart. She sent the tiger away from the mountain and sent Gu Su to her grandmother’s house in a neighboring city. She memorized hundreds of pages of chat records in one day. There was no flaw in her meeting with Zhang Chengyu. When Gu Su came back from the neighboring city three days later, The wood had become a boat.
There were only two people who had shared their preferences for more than twenty years, and she couldn’t control them. She had to beg Gu Su to stop playing the piano, stop chatting with Zhang Chengyu on QQ, and help her keep the secret.
Either fall out with Gu Yun from now on, or nip that unrequited love in the bud.
The two had a big quarrel. Faced with the dilemma between family and love, Gu Su chose to leave sadly and decided to work in another place despite her parents’ objections. However, no matter how open-minded she was, she would inevitably feel resentful when encountering such a thing. Therefore, when the bad news about Gu Yun’s car accident came, she was almost overwhelmed by guilt. She even wondered whether it was because of her subconscious resentment that Gu Yun was cursed, so she drank so much to drown her sorrow that day. She was so drunk.
QQ suddenly popped up, and a question mark suddenly appeared in the dialog box.
Gu Su was stunned for a moment, and suddenly remembered that she had set the invisibility setting on “Chapter book”, but she didn’t expect that Gu Yun didn’t cancel it.
She panicked for a moment and logged off in a hurry. Gu Yun was dead and it was impossible for her to come online again. She didn’t want Zhang Chengyu to know that the person she was chatting with was not Gu Yun but Gu Su.
This matter can’t be explained clearly, not to mention that the person is dead, so let Gu Yun always be on the good side in Zhang Chengyu’s heart.
When she got off work, Luo Xiaoan invited her to watch the latest blockbuster premiere. It was said that tonight’s IMAX was sold out a week ago.
When she arrived at the theater, Gu Su was really shocked. She hadn’t seen a movie in a long time. This was the first time she saw a movie box office that could be described as crowded.
Cheng Jingshi also came and very thoughtfully bought popcorn and drinks for them, Luo Xiaoan proudly showed off, “Cousin is just going to enslave to his heart’s content while he doesn’t have a girlfriend, and when he has one, he’ll have the opposite sex but no personality.”
“Come on my little ancestor, don’t sell yourself short when you get a bargain.” Cheng Jingshi rubbed her hair and unsurprisingly heard a roar from her.
The movie was quite thrilling and exciting, and the 3D motion effects were lifelike, making people temporarily forget the troubles of the world. When she came out of the theater, Luo Xiaoan grabbed Gu Su to discuss the plot.
On the side was a huge publicity photo, and there were a few young girls standing in front of it commenting on it:
“Who is this woman, how come she’s in front of Xuan Xuan.”
“Shi Xiarui, I haven’t heard much about her.”
“She’s not just playing a supporting role, how can she stand side by side with my Yang, obviously XuanXuan is the second female.”
“This person looks so fake, so beautiful as if she has had plastic surgery.”
……
As the discussion drifted away, Gu Su couldn’t help but look over towards the poster, and sure enough, Shi Xia Rui stood coquettishly on the right side, following closely behind the female lead.
Luo Xiaoan skimmed her mouth and raised her hand to slap twice on the poster, “Brother, who do you think is prettier, her or Su Su?”
Cheng Jing Shi glanced at Gu Su: “Can’t compare different types, I personally prefer Su Su’s type, with soulfulness.”
“Thanks for the consolation, let’s go, I don’t mind.” Gu Su smiled.
When she was about to walk out of the theater’s entrance, Gu Su couldn’t help but turn around and take another look, and suddenly, her entire body froze: from this angle, Shi Xia Rui’s side curvature was very similar to Gu Yun’s, especially that chin, the bottom of which was slightly upturned, forming a beautiful arc.
This was the part of the Gu family that the two sisters used to tease about recognizing their own sisters at a glance, and was inherited from Sun Qing.
T/N: My first language isn’t English, and there may be some grammatical errors. But I try not to deviate from the author’s narrative. If there are any errors or nonsensical sentences, feel free to comment.
