The heavy raindrops drummed against the umbrella, cascading down along its ribs and splashing onto the boys’ clean white sneakers. Fu Zhi’an tilted the umbrella slightly to cover Chi Yu’s damp shoulder. The two of them stood so close that the passing students couldn’t help but glance at them, whispering among themselves.
“Are you sure you don’t want to come?” Fu Zhi’an asked.
Chi Yu, hands still shoved in his pockets, responded with a casual smile, “I don’t really like dumplings.”
Fu Zhi’an nodded, initially wanting to hand the umbrella to Chi Yu, but before he could, Chi Yu pulled out his wallet, casually revealing a stack of red bills. Raising an eyebrow, he said, “You keep the umbrella for yourself. We rich kids take cabs home.”
It had been a while since Fu Zhi’an had seen Chi Yu put on that cocky expression. For a moment, he was taken aback. Before they were together, Chi Yu was always brash, acting without concern for consequences, always ready to go down in flames with others. Chi Yu’s vibrant personality was so overwhelming that every time Fu Zhi’an looked at him, he couldn’t help but feel his heart skip a beat.
Fu Zhi’an handed the umbrella to Chi Yu, who seemed about to protest, but upon meeting Fu Zhi’an’s calm gaze, he hesitated. Chi Yu took the umbrella, and Fu Zhi’an reached out to zip up Chi Yu’s jacket, which he usually wore wide open, pulling the zipper all the way up until it covered his chin. Taking the umbrella back, Fu Zhi’an raised an eyebrow, a smile playing on his lips. “Let me, the commoner, zip you up.”
Chi Yu’s previously tense expression softened. He looked down, pressing his lips together, his dimples just barely visible. The remark seemed to tickle his funny bone, and his dark eyes sparkled with amusement.
“Get lost,” Chi Yu laughed, giving Fu Zhi’an a gentle shove. Fu Zhi’an playfully staggered back a few steps before they both stopped, a few feet apart. Fu Zhi’an mouthed the words “See you tomorrow” before turning to leave.
Chi Yu understood. Fu Zhi’an was saying they would see each other tomorrow.
As Fu Zhi’an’s figure disappeared at the intersection, the smile on Chi Yu’s lips slowly faded. He sniffled, standing by the roadside before hailing a taxi.
“To Linyuan.”
The driver had initially intended to strike up a conversation, but when his eyes met the boy’s stern expression in the rearview mirror, he quickly abandoned the idea. The weather, nearing winter, was cool, and the car’s heater had been turned on. Before long, a thin layer of sweat formed on Chi Yu’s forehead. He unzipped his jacket halfway, staring silently at the chipped zipper before pulling it back up.
Linyuan was a bit of a drive from the city. During a stop at a red light, the driver glanced at the boy in the backseat, who was resting with his eyes closed. Perhaps because of the heat, the boy’s brows were tightly furrowed, his expression full of irritation. The driver sighed, lowering the temperature as he muttered, “It’s so hot, but the kid still won’t unzip his jacket. Kids these days, honestly.”
Chen Yifang craned her neck to look behind Fu Zhi’an when he opened the door, only pulling back when her son calmly closed it.
“Where’s Chi? Didn’t he come with you?”
Fu Zhi’an propped the umbrella open in the bathroom, leaning against the wall for a moment before replying, “Why would you invite him over?”
She set down the plate she was holding and walked to the bathroom door, meeting her son’s wary gaze. Chen Yifang gave a helpless smile. “What do you think your mother is trying to do?”
“You already told me everything before. What else could I do?”
As Fu Zhi’an grew older, his aloofness became more pronounced. Coupled with the nature of Fu Jianguo’s work, the three of them rarely ate together anymore. A scene like this, with all three of them sitting together, hadn’t happened since Fu Zhi’an first started middle school.
Chen Yifang had calmed down a lot by now. She had spent time researching information about homosexuality online. Starting with queries like “Is homosexuality a disease?” and “How to cure homosexuality,” she had gradually moved on to questions like “Do homosexuals face discrimination?” and “Can a relationship between two men work?” Now, she could face her son—who was otherwise perfectly normal, except for his seemingly abnormal sexual orientation.
“I’ve read up on… this topic.” Chen Yifang licked her lips, looking at her son, whose expression was calm and composed, and smiled. “You and Chi grew up together, so it’s normal to have a special bond.”
“But you’re still young, and your thoughts haven’t fully matured yet. Sometimes, when the novelty wears off, you’ll figure things out on your own.”
There was no anger at being questioned, nor was there any awkwardness in discussing sexual orientation. Her son didn’t avoid her gaze; his expression was serious and earnest. Seeing that Chen Yifang had nothing more to say, Fu Zhi’an finally spoke.
“I don’t know if Chi Yu sees this as just a passing phase.”
Fu Zhi’an chuckled softly, his voice barely above a whisper. “But I’ve liked him for so many years, and it hasn’t worn off.”
Chen Yifang’s smile froze, her fingers twisted together on the table. She couldn’t help but wonder if she had somehow failed in raising her son for him to end up like this.
The cigarette ash fell from Fu Jianguo’s fingers onto the table as he looked at the boy sitting across from him and suddenly spoke, “This road is going to be difficult.”
“As a policeman, I’ve seen too many people and too many things. You’re still young, so you might not realize how much discrimination and disdain there is for people who are gay.” Fu Jianguo coughed twice, poured some water into the ashtray, and stubbed out his cigarette.
“This path will be hard to walk.”
The burning ember extinguished the moment it touched the water, and Fu Zhi’an noticed the bite marks on the white filter. It was a habit Fu Jianguo had when he was troubled—biting the cigarette filter.
“Dad.” Fu Zhi’an met his father’s slightly cloudy eyes, pausing for a moment before continuing, “This road would be even harder without him.”
Fu Jianguo didn’t respond immediately. He simply scrutinized the boy sitting before him. His features were clean and sharp, with a resilience that reminded Fu Jianguo of himself when he was young. Seeing Fu Jianguo remain silent, Chen Yifang grew anxious, her voice rising.
“Even if you two can be together now, what about the future?”
“Are you planning to get married?” She saw that Fu Zhi’an wasn’t answering and became even more distressed. “I’m not trying to be harsh, but how many same-sex couples can really stay together in the end? Most of them eventually give in to the pressure and get married!”
“Whether a same-sex relationship can have a happy ending is something I need to determine for myself,” Fu Zhi’an said, leaning back in his chair and lowering his gaze. “Simply liking him has already made me very happy. Now that he likes me too, how could I possibly give up?”
“As long as he doesn’t let go, I’ll walk this path with him.”
Fu Zhi’an’s voice was filled with unwavering determination and sincerity. Chen Yifang’s straight posture gradually slumped, her hands covering her face in helplessness. She had known from the start that she would eventually be persuaded by her son, but she still felt a deep reluctance.
She was reluctant to accept that the child she had cherished for so long would have to face prejudice, scorn, and judgment from others.
“Mom, Dad.” Fu Zhi’an leaned forward slightly. “I know you may never fully accept this, but if you ever encounter Chi Yu, I hope you’ll at least treat him with basic respect and kindness.”
The relatives always said that Fu Zhi’an had never asked them for anything. Even as a child, he never cried or threw tantrums, and he never begged for anything.
But now, Fu Zhi’an was using a voice tinged with a bitter smile to make a request, his tone almost pleading.
“I’m begging you.”
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