Outside the window, the sound of screeching tires echoed through the night. Fu Zhi’an turned over and draped an arm around Chi Yu’s waist, his nose gently nuzzling the nape of his neck. After a moment, he murmured, “You should go to America.”
The sounds of traffic mixed with the hum of the air conditioner, and in the faint light filtering through the curtains, Fu Zhi’an could see Chi Yu’s eyelashes trembling slightly and his body tensing up. Chi Yu kept his eyes tightly shut, his lips pressed into a stubborn line, the sound of him swallowing unnaturally loud in the confined space. His fingers twitched at his side before he suddenly sat up, Fu Zhi’an’s hand slipping off his waist. Chi Yu turned his head sharply.
“Say that again.”
Fu Zhi’an propped himself up, looking up at Chi Yu, and quietly repeated, “It would be better for you to go to America.”
“Say that again!” Chi Yu’s eyes blazed with anger, his clenched fists trembling as if he was ready to swing at any moment.
Fu Zhi’an didn’t answer immediately. Instead, he reached out to tug the blanket over Chi Yu’s exposed legs, lowering his gaze as he calmly explained, “What I mean is, if you go to America, I won’t oppose it.” No sooner had he spoken than Chi Yu grabbed the pillow next to him and swung it at him with all his might. The soft cotton pillow made a muffled thud as it struck Fu Zhi’an’s head, but Chi Yu had hoped for a different reaction. He wanted Fu Zhi’an to throw off the covers and fight back, but he didn’t.
The pillow stayed draped over Fu Zhi’an’s face, and he didn’t make a sound—not even the slightest shift in his breathing.
In the dark room, the only thing Chi Yu could see clearly were Fu Zhi’an’s eyes, bright against the gloom. Chi Yu sat on the bed, his hair a mess, staring at Fu Zhi’an’s arm, which hung suspended in the air. Fu Zhi’an was eerily still, as lifeless as a pool of stagnant water. His slender fingers drooped limply, showing no intention of moving. The heat of the room hadn’t fully dissipated, and the tingling in Chi Yu’s abdomen was still fresh in his mind. The memory of their bare skin pressed together felt almost surreal now.
The taste of blood in his mouth brought Chi Yu back to reality. Bracing his arms on either side of the bed, he glanced at the red marks on Fu Zhi’an’s pale shoulder—marks left by his teeth, now faintly bleeding. As his gaze traveled upward, he met Fu Zhi’an’s eyes, cool and distant. Chi Yu wanted to look away but found himself fixated on the way Fu Zhi’an’s usually neat eyebrows were furrowed.
The raging fire in Chi Yu’s chest felt as though it had been doused with a bucket of water, leaving only a few pitiful wisps of smoke to irritate his eyes and nose. He rolled off Fu Zhi’an, lying stiffly on his side with his back to him, eyes closed, lips tightly sealed.
The bed creaked with each movement, the poor quality evident, but Chi Yu remained motionless for a long time, even as the sound of rain began pattering against the window. He slowly opened his eyes, staring at the two pairs of sneakers haphazardly tossed on the floor. “I’m sorry,” he whispered.
The person beside him didn’t move for a while, and Chi Yu thought he had fallen asleep. But then a raspy voice cut through the rain, reaching his ears.
“Me too.”
“I’m sorry.”
Chi Yu wanted to turn around and hug Fu Zhi’an, but his right leg, pinned beneath him, suddenly cramped up, making him wince in pain. The movement caused him to lose his balance, and he tumbled off the bed, his shoulder slamming into the corner of the nightstand with a muffled thud. Sitting on the floor with his head down, Chi Yu didn’t know whether to tend to his throbbing shoulder or his cramping leg.
The light flicked on with a soft click, and Chi Yu looked up to see Fu Zhi’an climbing over the bed to crouch in front of him, his expression serious.
“Where did you get hurt?”
The room was small, and the space between the bed and the wall was barely wide enough to fit a nightstand. Both of them were crammed into this narrow gap, their elbows brushing against the walls. Fu Zhi’an hadn’t bothered to put on shoes in his haste, his bare feet pressing against the grimy floor. Chi Yu didn’t respond immediately, just stared at Fu Zhi’an, who, growing frustrated, snapped at him with uncharacteristic harshness.
“You had plenty of strength when you were biting me earlier.”
In the dim light, the pale skin of Fu Zhi’an’s shoulder seemed to glow, the bite mark standing out like an angry red bruise. The skin around it was swollen and starting to bruise, with small droplets of blood seeping out. Chi Yu winced as his leg cramped again, trying to avoid Fu Zhi’an’s gaze while pressing down on the offending muscle.
But before he could do anything, Fu Zhi’an’s hand wrapped around his ankle, the other moving up his leg. When Fu Zhi’an saw Chi Yu’s hand already there, he smacked it away with a sharp slap. The force wasn’t too heavy, but it was enough to make Chi Yu flinch, watching as Fu Zhi’an’s slender fingers began to knead his calf with precise, firm pressure.
Only when the tight muscle finally started to relax did Fu Zhi’an let go, looking up at Chi Yu.
Those few squeezes seemed to have snapped Chi Yu out of whatever daze he had been in. Just moments ago, he had looked like a wilted plant, but now he tilted his chin up defiantly, his tone still rigid. “Aren’t you afraid I’ll bite you again?”
Fu Zhi’an shifted his weight forward, pressing his hands against Chi Yu’s knees. Chi Yu, who had been bristling just moments before, instantly fell silent, his head instinctively pulling back. Fu Zhi’an sighed softly, the tension in his face easing as he leaned his forehead against Chi Yu’s chest.
“Just be quiet for a moment and let me finish before you bite me, okay?”
Chi Yu wanted to argue, but his mouth opened and closed with no words coming out. Fu Zhi’an’s warm breath was steady against his chest, and Chi Yu said nothing.
“Chi Yu.” Fu Zhi’an’s voice broke the silence unexpectedly, making Chi Yu tense up. He didn’t want to leave Fu Zhi’an, but he knew Fu Zhi’an’s decisions were never made lightly. He was willing to listen.
After a long pause, Chi Yu finally spoke in a soft voice, “Your heart is beating really fast.”
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