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TBA Chapter 67

Trying to Break Up and Trying to Hold On

Jiang Xiaosi woke up and opened her eyes, gazing at the starry sky through the trees above.

The night breeze was cold, making her shiver. She lay on the grass, her clothes torn, and there was a stillness all around, broken only by the sound of insects chirping.

She stared blankly at the sky, vaguely recalling how she had been exposed here, her true form revealed in all its ugliness. Yu Shuixin had pinned her to a tree, and then Shen Mo arrived. He saw her like this, saw her true self, and she had even…drunk Shen Mo’s blood.

She licked her lips, savoring the taste of that beautiful RH blood. She would never forget it.

Shen Mo had finally found out—he knew she was a zombie.

He was angry. He was disgusted by her. That’s why he left her here alone…

Her chest hurt, though she wasn’t sure if it was from her injuries or something else. Jiang Xiaosi stood up shakily and walked forward. She saw a boat docked by the shore. She rowed back, returning to the inn, looking for Shen Mo.

But why was she looking for him? She didn’t know. She wanted to explain, to ask him not to be angry, to beg him not to abandon her…

But Shen Mo was already gone. He had taken his belongings with him. All that remained were her slippers lying forlornly on the ground. Jiang Xiaosi hugged her knees, leaning against the wall, and sat there all night.

What else could she do? At least he had saved her, preventing Yu Shuixin from continuing to torment her. That was already more than enough. For someone who hated non-humans as much as he did, after discovering her deception, even stabbing her out of anger would have been understandable. What more could she expect from him? His attitude was clear—was she really going to cling to him, hoping he would take her back?

The next day, with swollen eyes, she made her way home. The “Tuo Gu Xiang” shop was empty; her father still hadn’t returned. The protective pearl was still with her, but now that her identity had been exposed, it could no longer offer her the same protection and concealment.

Her wounds healed quickly, but no matter how many times she called Shen Mo, there was no answer. No matter how many messages she sent, there was no response.

She kept apologizing in his voicemail, admitting her mistake, pleading for forgiveness, begging him not to ignore her. She went to school, but he hadn’t returned to teach. She went to his house, but no one was there. She searched everywhere but couldn’t find him. So, she stayed at his place, waiting every day and every night. She didn’t believe he wouldn’t come back.

Finally, one late night, she heard the sound of the door opening.

Shen Mo looked at Jiang Xiaosi, curled up on the sofa in the living room, his face expressionless. Awei and Ayin had been following her, so he knew her whereabouts. But he couldn’t keep avoiding her forever—he had to face her, no matter how painful it was, and put an end to it.

“Shen Mo…” Jiang Xiaosi saw him and jumped off the sofa, running over to him barefoot. But when she reached out to touch him, she hesitated. The barrier of defense and disgust emanating from him felt like an impenetrable fortress, keeping her out.

Shen Mo looked at her face, and in just a few days, she had become so pale and haggard. Why was he doing this, torturing her and himself like this?

“Jiang Xiaosi, let’s break up.” Shen Mo said coldly, watching as the initial joy on her face crumbled into heartbreak.

“Leave. Don’t come back. I don’t want to see you.” Shen Mo turned his back on her.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to hide it from you… I…I was afraid you would hate me. Please, give me another chance, okay? I don’t want to break up. I don’t want to…” Jiang Xiaosi sobbed, hugging him from behind, her tears soaking into his shirt.

Shen Mo pushed her away. “Don’t you get it? It’s not just that you deceived me. You’re a zombie, and I’m human. We were never meant to be together. You know how much I despise non-humans. Leave now, and I’ll still consider you my student. But if you keep clinging to me, I’ll make sure you won’t even be able to remain a zombie!”

It was like a bucket of cold water extinguishing all of Jiang Xiaosi’s hopes. She bit her lip, unable to fight back against the harsh reality. Shen Mo had returned to being the cold and heartless person she had once known. She was a zombie, and he was a Daoist priest. From the start, they had been on opposing sides. But she had longed for his love, and he had given it to her. How could he take it back now?

Shen Mo opened the door, signaling for her to leave. Her heart felt like it was being torn apart as she clung to him, refusing to let go. Shen Mo struggled to push her away, and her nails even tore through his sleeve. Their love, in the end, had become a desperate struggle.

“I love you. What does it matter if I’m human or a zombie?” Jiang Xiaosi sobbed uncontrollably.

Shen Mo gritted his teeth. “Stop being childish. You’re a zombie—you’ll always be a child. How do you expect me to face you in the future?”

“I’ll grow up. I really will grow up. Just give me a little more time…”

Shen Mo’s heart twisted with pain. He couldn’t bear her tearful pleas any longer. He turned his head away and shouted, “Ayin! Take her back.”

In an instant, the white-clad woman appeared, carrying Jiang Xiaosi away. But Jiang Xiaosi’s cries echoed on. Shen Mo forced himself to breathe steadily, trying to calm his emotions as he collapsed onto the sofa.

Loving someone wasn’t just about possessing them—it meant thinking of them, keeping them safe, ensuring their happiness.

He had finally learned this lesson. He couldn’t let her tears undo everything he had resolved to do.

Shen Mo reached into his pocket and pulled out a delicate box. He opened it and stared blankly inside. There lay the pair of rings they had just finished, but now, they would never have the chance to wear them.

Some people, when facing the loss of love, let go with a smile and wish the other person happiness. Some harbor resentment and lash out, or choose to go down together. And some, consumed by love, will do anything they can to hold on.

Jiang Xiaosi, with a mind no older than that of a sixteen-year-old, could cry and demand a replacement when she lost a toy. But when she lost her lover, what could she do?

Time and again, Shen Mo rejected her, spoke cruel and heartless words. The entire world seemed to collapse around her, and she felt like she was suffocating. She didn’t understand—was human love always so fickle? How could he accept her, be so kind to her, give her so much sweetness, and then turn his back on her?

Late at night, she stood beside Shen Mo’s bed, dressed like an adult. She wore high heels and a short skirt, her face painted with colorful makeup. She climbed into his bed, her eyeliner smudged from crying, and said, “I’ll grow up. I can do everything adults do.”

At that moment, Shen Mo almost wanted to kill himself. He hated her stubbornness and refusal to give up, but he hated his own selfishness and cruelty even more. Did he have to push her to this point?

When she had confessed her love and been rejected, she could still hold her head high and walk away, skipping classes and avoiding him altogether. But now, what kind of love was this that had driven her to set aside her pride, crying and begging him not to leave?

“Jiang Xiaosi, stop this madness! Stop turning yourself into this pathetic mess! You’re making me sick! Get out right now!”

Shen Mo drove her out and pasted talismans all over his home. Even though she had the key, Jiang Xiaosi could no longer get in.

She didn’t know what else she could do. She had already given her whole heart to Shen Mo, but he had said he didn’t want it anymore. If it had been earlier, she could have pretended to let go gracefully. But now, she felt she had lost all reason. Like any woman driven mad by love, she was willing to do anything as long as Shen Mo didn’t leave her.

But still, she never sought him out at school or his office. She never clung to him in front of others. She didn’t want to disrupt his daily life or create any rumors that could harm his reputation. She wanted to keep, at least, that final shred of dignity.

At 3 a.m., Jiang Xiaosi sent Shen Mo a message from the rooftop of the teaching building.

“I’m on the rooftop on the ninth floor. If you’re not here by four, I’ll jump.”

Ye Miao had once used her own life as a threat, breaking a man’s avoidance and winning love. Jiang Xiaosi had once thought Ye Miao was foolish, far too foolish. Life was your own; how could you let a man’s love control it? She had laughed at Ye Miao, thinking women always liked to play mind games in love.

But now that it was her turn, Jiang Xiaosi realized that she had reached the point where she was willing to die just to prove whether a man loved her. How pathetic was it to think that if she couldn’t have love, then she would give up her life?

She was still clinging to the illusion of being in love with him. She refused to wake up and accept the truth. She just wanted to prove if he truly hated her so much that he wouldn’t care whether she lived or died.

Every second felt unbearable. She thought Shen Mo wouldn’t come. But in the end, he did. He stood below, looking up at her, but with one sentence, he shattered her last hope.

“I came to tell you.” Shen Mo’s cold voice rang out.

“If you want to die, then go ahead and die—if you can.”

Then, he turned and walked away.

Jiang Xiaosi looked at his retreating figure and smiled bitterly. Of course, she had forgotten—she was half a zombie. Jumping from a building wouldn’t kill her. Who could she even threaten with that?

Shen Mo kept walking, and when he heard the dull sound of something heavy falling from a great height, he didn’t stop for even a second. Jiang Xiaosi needed to learn to grow up on her own. If this pain could help her forget him or even hate him, then it would all be worth it.

“Master!” Ayin called out to him, her voice filled with pity.

“Don’t interfere.” Shen Mo replied, his voice hoarse, his eyes red as he stared emptily ahead.

“Jiang Liu is back. It’ll be fine, it’ll be fine…” He kept muttering to himself as if desperately trying to convince himself.

That fool had actually jumped. She might be half-human, so she wouldn’t die, but it would still hurt!

Shen Mo’s body felt as if it were being torn apart. Every step felt like walking on needles. He had promised to protect her, to never let her get hurt again. Yet here he was, forcing her to jump off a building. Haha, why didn’t he just die?

Jiang Xiaosi lay in a pool of blood, watching Shen Mo walk further and further away. He really, truly, didn’t look back even once.

With that one heavy thud, all their ties were severed. So much blood—whose heart had shattered to pieces, scattered all over the ground?


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