TCCRMMAICSTA Chapter 11

Yu Wanwan clutched the dagger hidden in her tall boots, her heart pounding faster and faster.

 

【The Battle King doesn’t have a weapon. Finally, it’s my time to shine!】

 

She quickly drew her dagger, her figure flickering like a ghost, moving with swift precision.

“Your Highness, catch the dagger quickly! My leg is cramping!”

 

The Battle King glanced at Yu Wanwan, who was twitching on the ground, his mouth twitching as well. But he didn’t take her weapon. Instead, he lightly tapped his foot, soaring into the air.

 

His strong hand grabbed one of the assassins by the neck, and with a crack, the assassin’s neck was twisted and broken. The Battle King then easily snatched the long sword from the assassin’s hand and began a killing spree among the crowd.

 

The sound of necks being slashed echoed continuously, and wherever the Battle King went, an assassin would fall. Yu Zhongming, who was in the banquet hall, didn’t even have the chance to step in and assist.

 

Because… the Battle King was just too fast, like a mad killing machine.

 

Yu Wanwan silently sheathed her dagger after witnessing the scene.

 

【Emperor, really… why did you provoke him?】

 

【This guy is a complete maniac! One cut and you’re infected with tetanus, two cuts and you’re meeting your ancestors!】

 

The Battle King’s movements were becoming even faster, and some assassins were already dropping dead before they could even get close to him.

 

As Yu Wanwan watched, she clicked her tongue in amazement:

 

【Tsk tsk tsk, no wonder the Emperor fears you. Your strength is ridiculously overpowered. Doesn’t our weakling emperor care about his dignity?】

【But wait, according to the plot, the Battle King should be seriously injured by now. However, judging by this situation, he’s about to win a flawless victory.】

 

【Could it be… an even stronger assassin hasn’t appeared yet?】

 

As soon as she had this thought, a figure as swift as the wind flashed by. The figure held a spear and charged straight at the Battle King’s back, while the Battle King was busy fighting off three assassins, unable to fend off the incoming attack!

 

Yu Wanwan’s eyes widened. “Your Highness, watch out!”

 

The Battle King heard her warning and tried to dodge, but… the three assassins surrounding him seized the opportunity to hold him down.

 

Seeing the spear-wielding assassin getting closer and closer to the Battle King, Yu Wanwan rolled over and stretched out her leg.

 

【What do you think this is, a kung fu movie? I’ll trip you and make you fall flat on your face.】

 

But the assassin didn’t trip over her leg. Instead, with a light tap of his toe, he used his martial arts skills to leap over her leg effortlessly, and with a backhanded thrust, he aimed the spear at her.

 

“Stupid eunuch, you’re asking for death,” a deep male voice growled.

 

Yu Wanwan tightly gripped her dagger. “Don’t come any closer! You come any closer, and I’ll stab you to death!”

 

【You’re the smelly one, your whole family stinks! I bathe and wear fragrant incense every day. I’m a fragrant, soft little eunuch.】

 

As the assassin’s spear closed in on Yu Wanwan, her eyes went wide, and she frantically recalled all the self-defence techniques she had learned.

 

Her dagger was ready to make a hopeless stand, and at the same time, she pulled out the pepper spray she had prepared from her waist pouch.

 

“I’ll show you what a real spicy girl is today.”

 

She sprayed the pepper spray in a flurry, and sure enough, the assassin’s eyes turned blood-red as he scratched his face and ears in pain. But even with his eyes closed, the assassin could still sense Yu Wanwan’s position.

 

“Die, you eunuch!”

 

The assassin blindly thrust his spear, sending it flying towards Yu Wanwan at an incredible speed.

 

【How is this possible? You’re spinning and leaping with your eyes closed!】

 

【I’m doomed. Oh, Battle King, I’ve risked my life for you. If I die, remember to burn me lots of paper money so I can live well in the afterlife.】

 

【Damn it, the emperor’s intentions are too obvious. How many rounds has this gone on, and where is the Imperial Guard? Are they all dead?】

 

Just as the spear was about to pierce into Yu Wanwan’s body, there was a piercing sound. The assassin’s body was run through by a long sword! Blood splattered all over Yu Wanwan’s face.

 

She widened her eyes and saw that the Battle King, who had just been entangled, had already killed all the assassins and rushed over. His long sword had pierced straight through the assassin’s heart.

 

Yu Wanwan let out a long breath of relief, but the assassin’s body fell rigidly toward her.

She hurriedly kicked her legs to retreat. “Stay away from me!”

 

Just as the corpse was about to fall on her, the Battle King struck it with his palm, sending the body flying in a parabola.

 

But! Blood splattered all over her face again!

 

Yu Wanwan took a deep breath… and finally threw up in a grand fashion!

 

【This is even more terrifying than my period blood flooding. I really can’t hold it in.】

 

The Battle King heard this and his dark eyes flashed with a mix of surprise and pity.

Yu Wanfu’s* period had caused such a severe hemorrhage, and yet he could still rush out in this state. His perseverance… is truly admirable. For the palace to have such a eunuch, it’s really not easy.

 

(*The term “大姨妈” is slang for “period” in Chinese. Yu Wanwan’s exaggerated reaction is comic relief.)

 

Soon, the Imperial Guard arrived, subduing the remaining assassins and controlling the scene.

 

The Emperor sat high up, his face as dark as coal. “How audacious! Assassins dared to infiltrate the Hall of Supreme Harmony while I’m present! What are the Imperial Guards doing? Just sitting around eating?”

 

“It’s a good thing the Battle King is unharmed. If anything had happened to him, all of you would have had to present your heads to me!”

 

The Imperial Guards knelt down, admitting their mistakes. “Your servants were negligent and are willing to accept punishment. We only beg Your Majesty to calm down and not harm your dragon body (imperial health).”

 

Yu Wanwan rolled her eyes and silently complained: 【Audacious indeed! Even a plastic bag doesn’t hold as much as you do. You’re probably thinking, ‘Please, let something have happened to him.’】

 

【However you two brothers play your game, it has nothing to do with me. Can we settle my rewards first?】

 

【I just performed a show and even saved the Battle King by sticking my foot out. I should at least get a hundred taels of silver and maybe a promotion, right?】

 

【Of course, if I could leave the palace, that would be even better. The beautiful ladies here are nice, but freedom is worth more. I don’t want to suddenly drop dead in the palace.】

 

But this last thought was just Yu Wanwan’s wishful thinking. Eunuchs could only leave the palace with the Emperor’s special permission, and otherwise, they were stuck until they were around 50 or 60 years old, nearing death.

 

Now that she had saved the Battle King, it was equivalent to ruining the Emperor’s plan, so there was no way the dog emperor would let her out of the palace.

 

After venting his anger, the Emperor immediately ordered the imperial physician to treat the Battle King. The person who came was none other than the honest physician, Doctor Wen.

 

After examining the Battle King, Doctor Wen truthfully reported: “Your Majesty, the prince is in good health and has not been harmed.”

 

Hearing this, the Emperor’s face grew even darker, but his outward expression remained calm. “Good, as long as there’s no harm. Today’s celebration will end here. My brother should return to his residence to rest. I will certainly investigate thoroughly and give you a proper explanation.”

 

Yu Wanwan commented internally: 【He’ll randomly pick a scapegoat to give to the Battle King, right? The Emperor must be quite disappointed that the Battle King wasn’t injured.】

 

【Did he really think the Battle King would be like a chili pepper hanging under a big tree?】[1]

 

Upon hearing this, the expressions of the many concubines changed slightly. A chili pepper hanging under a big tree? Honestly… it was quite fitting. From now on, they wouldn’t be able to look at chili peppers the same way.

 

Just as Doctor Wen finished checking the Battle King’s pulse and was about to leave, the Battle King glanced at Yu Wanwan. “Examine him too.”

 

Doctor Wen followed the order. “Yes, Your Highness.”

 

He walked over to Yu Wanwan. “Eunuch Yu, extend your hand.”

 

Since she was just a eunuch, Doctor Wen directly took her pulse without needing to prepare a handkerchief or wrist pillow.

 

Yu Wanwan quickly waved her hands. “No need, I’m perfectly fine.”

 

Doctor Wen frowned. “Eunuch Yu, your complexion doesn’t look good. It’s better to check your pulse.”

 

The Battle King coldly ordered, “Take the pulse.” He didn’t give Yu Wanwan any chance to refuse.

 

Thus, Yu Wanwan had no choice but to extend her hand to Doctor Wen.

As soon as he checked her pulse, Doctor Wen furrowed his brows tightly, his face creasing in concern. “This…”

 

Yu Wanwan’s face turned pale. “Doctor Wen, am I going to die? Have I contracted some terminal illness?”

 

【Oh no, dying without ever visiting a brothel would be such a loss!】

 

【I wonder if I’ll be able to go back once I’m dead.】

 

[1]“辣椒挂在大树下” (chili pepper hanging under a big tree) It’s to describe someone who has a fiery or strong personality but is under the protection of a powerful figure. In this case, the chilli pepper represents someone who is bold, fiery, or quick-tempered, while the big tree symbolises someone in a position of authority or influence that provides shelter or protection to the chili pepper.

 

So, it means that the person can be tough or bold, but only because they are under the protection of someone more powerful. Without that support, they might not be as daring or fearless. 

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