TCCRMMAICSTA Chapter 21

Yu Wanwan sprang up from the ground in one swift motion, only to see a dozen black-clad men leap through the window. They were all dressed identically, with black cloth covering their faces, and in their hands were gleaming long swords. Every single one of them charged straight at the Battle King.

 

The ladies in the room screamed in panic. Yu Wanwan quickly sidestepped and dragged the Third Princess into a corner.

 

It wasn’t that she wanted to play the hero, but the Third Princess had snuck out of the palace with her. If anything happened to the princess, her own life would be forfeit.

 

The Third Princess stumbled into the corner, while her guards immediately stepped in front of her and Yu Wanwan to protect them.

 

Yu Wanwan sighed in relief. With so many guards around, they should be safe…

 

【These assassins wearing night attire in broad daylight, are they afraid people won’t notice them?】

 

【A bunch of obvious fools!】

 

Just as Yu Wanwan was mocking them, an arrow shot through the window, aimed right at the Third Princess!

 

Yu Wanwan’s eyes widened. “Damn, Old Six is playing dirty!”

 

T/N: “Old Six” refers to someone who acts cunningly or sneakily, a popular internet slang in Chinese.

 

【For heaven’s sake! Stop shooting arrows everywhere. Fine, I won’t call you fools anymore. How about… steaming dumplings?】

 

Cursing under her breath, she shoved the Third Princess aside. Thunk! The arrow embedded itself into the wall right next to Yu Wanwan.

 

The arrow was only a finger’s width away from her ear. Just a little closer and it would’ve pierced her ear. The arrow’s tail still buzzed and vibrated near her ear.

 

【Are you trying to give me a piercing? Did you sterilise that thing first? Is “danger” the only word in your vocabulary?】

 

【Why don’t you all go be like Old Six—sneak around, hide in every bush, and randomly gift people ear piercings.】

 

Whoosh! Whoosh! Whoosh!

 

Arrows kept flying, but fortunately, Yu Wanwan was huddled in the corner, well shielded, so none of them hit her. She glanced at the arrows now stuck in the wall behind her and smirked.

 

【You guys went all out with the display, but you’re just hitting the walls. Turns out you’re just contour artists.】

 

【The Battle King will soon show you what a true marksman is—one shot, one kill!】

 

By this point, the Battle King had already drawn his sword and was clashing with the black-clad men. The constant clanging of metal echoed as one black-clad man after another fell to the ground.

 

The guards protecting the Third Princess also charged forward bravely, and the number of black-clad men was rapidly dwindling. It looked like they were about to achieve total victory when a cloud of white smoke began to pour in from the door.

 

Yu Wanwan quickly pulled out a handkerchief to cover her nose and mouth.

 

Meanwhile, the Third Princess was still crying in fear.

 

“Yu Wanfu! This princess is so scared, where are you?”

 

Hearing this, Yu Wanwan felt a surge of heroic power well up inside her.

 

【I never expected… in this crucial moment… the Third Princess thought of me first.】

 

【Fight? Fight! Who says you have to stand in the light to be a hero?】

 

【Don’t be scared, Your Highness, your bro is here to save you.】

 

【Flowers will wilt, people will fall, but my love never says goodbye!】

 

Yu Wanwan stuffed some cloth up her nose, took three large steps forward, covered the Third Princess’s nose and mouth with a handkerchief, then hoisted the princess onto her shoulder and ran out.

 

Thick smoke filled the air, visibility was zero! But Yu Wanwan still managed to navigate the brothel’s layout with ease, all thanks to the ant family crawling along the floor.

 

“Bro Wan, turn left and go downstairs! Watch your step! You almost crushed our ancestors!” 

 

Holding her breath, Yu Wanwan dashed down the stairs. The smoke cleared, revealing the brothel’s large bathing pool!

 

At that moment, a few ladies were lounging in the spacious pool, their bare shoulders peeking out from the water.

 

Yu Wanwan’s eyes widened. Understand the Pigsy, become the Pigsy!

 

T/N: Pigsy, or Zhu Bajie, is a character from Journey to the West, known for his lecherous nature.

 

At that moment, she really wanted to shout: “Ladies, Old Pig has arrived!”

 

As she was lost in her thoughts, the Third Princess patted her shoulder from above.

“Yu Wanfu! And Battle Uncle! Go save him!”

 

Yu Wanwan’s face twitched. “The Battle King is highly skilled in martial arts. If I go, I’ll just make things worse. Let’s just wait here.”

 

【Princess, is it possible… that I’m just a eunuch, not a superhero?】

 

As soon as she finished speaking, the Battle King leapt down from the second floor, landing right in front of them.

 

The women in the pool, who were already stunned by Yu Wanwan’s sudden appearance, screamed in terror upon seeing the Battle King.

 

“Aaahhh! Who are you? Trying to watch for free?”

 

“Watching us bathe costs money too!”

 

The Battle King ignored their screams and simply said to Yu Wanwan, “Let’s go!”

 

Soon, the group successfully escaped from Bai Mei Qian Jiao (the brothel). Half an hour later, they returned to the Battle King’s residence. By this time, the fire at the estate had been extinguished, and night had fallen.

 

At the same time, rumours were already spreading that the Battle King had gone to a brothel and didn’t pay.

 

The Battle King stood in the main hall, his face dark as iron. His eyes were cold and fixed on Yu Wanwan. “Yu Wanfu, your brain works pretty well, doesn’t it!”

 

 With the chaos at the brothel today, it was quite impressive that Yu Wanfu managed to escape with Zhou Jingchuan 

 

Yu Wanwan remained calm. “This servant’s only concern was to protect the princess!”

 

【Whoa, the Battle King is complimenting me, huh? Go on, I’ve got time.】

 

【Keep flattering me like this, and good fortune is sure to come your way.】

 

The Third Princess looked at Yu Wanwan with deep gratitude. “Yu Wanfu, I really have to thank you for today. If it weren’t for you, this princess would’ve been in serious danger.”

“Once I return to the palace, I will ask Father to reward you.”

 

Yu Wanwan immediately thanked her repeatedly. “Thank you, Your Highness. It’s only what this servant should do.”

 

【If you don’t grab the cash, there’s something wrong with your head. Princess, let’s hurry back to the palace and claim those rewards.】

 

【But why is the Battle King looking at me like that? This is starting to feel… off. Could he have figured out my secret?】

 

The Battle King, who had originally planned to let them go, suddenly became intrigued upon hearing that last part.

 

A secret? Yu Wanfu has a secret he’s hiding from me?

 

It seemed… this king would have to investigate him thoroughly.

 

The Battle King then spoke up, “It’s getting late. I’ll escort you both back to the palace to avoid any more accidents on the way.”

 

The Third Princess immediately agreed. “Good! Thank you, Uncle Battle King.”

 

On the outside, she appeared delighted, but inside she was losing her mind: Ahhhh! Yu Wanfu really is something! Uncle Battle King is personally escorting this princess back to the palace! Today, it’s an escort home, tomorrow, it’ll be an escort to bed, and the day after, it’ll be a chubby baby! 

 

Yu Wanwan didn’t say much, simply following quietly behind them. After all, with a princess and a king calling the shots, what say did a mere eunuch like her have?

 

Seeing the lovesick  expression on the Third Princess’s face, Yu Wanwan silently shook her head.

 

【This is what you call a one-sided effort. He draws the pie, you eat it. He’s fishing, and you’re the one biting.】

 

The Third Princess didn’t care in the slightest. Hmph, as long as Uncle Battle King is the one drawing it, this princess will eat whatever he serves. Yu Wanfu just doesn’t understand love.

 

The journey back to the palace went smoothly, without any further trouble.

 

However, when the emperor heard about the assassination attempt, he immediately summoned the three of them to the Jingren Palace, expressing his concern. He then angrily ordered an investigation into the assassins.

 

The Battle King, unbothered, responded, “Brother, there’s no need to be angry. A bunch of useless assassins can’t harm me.”

 

“But… the Battle King’s estate was accidentally set on fire. The place is a mess, so I plan to stay in the palace for a while.”

 

Yu Wanwan, who had been kneeling in the corner, trying to be invisible, instantly perked up when she heard this.

 

【Oh no, oh no, OMG! Did the Battle King actually figure something out?】

 

The Emperor naturally agreed, “Then you can stay in Lanzhu Palace. It’s quiet there, no one will disturb you.”

 

Yu Wanwan: 【Quiet = perfect for taking me out! Battle King, you might want to reconsider. After all, I’m just a lowly eunuch—how could my life be as valuable as yours?】

 

The Battle King gratefully replied, “Thank you, Brother.”

 

The Emperor waved his hand. “You may all leave now. Tonight, I will stay in Jingren Palace.”

 

The Battle King and the Third Princess each returned to their respective homes and found their own mothers. However, as the chief eunuch of the Department of Rites, Yu Wanwan had to stay behind and eavesdrop by the Emperor’s bedside. Feeling down, Yu Wanwan grabbed the record book and got to work.

 

【The Emperor ate Nine-turn Intestines and still has this much energy. Truly, it’s like a sparrow pecking a cow—absolute legend!】

 

T/N this is a metaphor meaning the Emperor’s stamina is extraordinary, just as it’s absurd to imagine a sparrow pecking a cow and having any effect. It’s likely a comedic exaggeration of the Emperor’s vigour.

 

【A strong woman keeps it all in, never complaining.】

 

【No worries. Suffer through the bitterness, serve those on high.】

 

T/N “吃得苦中苦，方为人上人” (endure the bitter to become superior)

 

The Empress, overhearing these comments, barely suppressed her laughter. She spoke aloud, “Yu Wanfu, you were startled today. Let someone else take over the night watch.”

Yu Wanwan, relieved, quickly replied, “Yes, Your Majesty, I’ll leave now.”

 

【Sister! My good sister! You deserve a shrine in the ancestral temple!】

 

【Jingren Palace is top-tier!】

 

After arranging for someone to cover her duties, Yu Wanwan hurried back to the Department of Rites to crash in bed. She slept soundly through the night and only woke up when the sun was high in the sky. Opening the door, she took a deep breath and said, “Good morning, fellow workers. May the headwinds be gentle, and may I earn more silver coins today.”

 

As she stepped out of the Department of Rites, she noticed that the lunch that should have been prepared was nowhere to be seen.”Xiao Qing, why didn’t you tell your brother there’s no lunch?” Yu Wanwan called out, but there was no sign of Little Qing, which only made her more curious.

 

Just then, Wangcai barked twice, “Brother Wan, Xiao Qing went to the Imperial Kitchen to fight for your food.”

 

What? Fight?

 

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