TCCRMMAICSTA Chapter 26

The emperor thought to himself: If you feared me for being strict or feared my power, I could consider lightly punishing you. But if you dare give any other reason, I’ll end your life on the spot.

 

Xiao Qing scanned the emperor from head to toe: “You smell old.”

 

Her tone was dead serious, and her face completely expressionless. It was clear she meant every word.

 

“Outrageous!” The emperor slapped the table and stood up.

 

Yu Wanwan nearly knelt on the spot: 【Well said, Xiao Qing… but maybe don’t say it again next time!】

 

【How did I not notice that you were a lone warrior back when you were in the palace staff?】

 

【Are you betting that the emperor’s gun isn’t loaded or something?】

 

Xiao Qing showed no fear toward the emperor. Instead, she continued: “I’m sixteen. You’re thirty-eight. You could have two daughters my age.”

 

“So what’s wrong with me saying you smell old?”

 

“Is it that this muddle-headed emperor can’t handle the truth?”

 

“You… you…” The emperor was trembling with anger, unable to form a complete sentence.

 

Yu Wanwan glanced at the emperor, whose entire face had turned green with rage, making him look even older.

 

【Not only does the emperor’s head glow with a green hue, but now even his face is green. If he’s never experienced love, at least being ‘green’ completes his life circle.】

 

T/N Green hue — The phrase “头顶绿油油” refers to being “green” (associated with infidelity, where a man is “wearing a green hat” if his wife is unfaithful). 

 

【Though, Xiao Qing wasn’t wrong—he’s old enough to be her father, definitely has that elderly smell.】

 

【The Empress Dowager might be pushing fifty, but she doesn’t look much older than the emperor.】

 

【Then again, the Empress Dowager’s already won the palace intrigue MVP, so she doesn’t have much to worry about. But the emperor? He’s got to attend court, deal with officials, and at night still… ‘entertain’ the consorts.】

 

【Summary: Working hard turns you old and ugly.】

 

After fuming for a while, the emperor pointed at Xiao Qing and shouted: “Do you not know that the crime of deceiving the emperor will implicate your entire family?!”

 

Xiao Qing covered her mouth and laughed out loud: “Good! I’ve long disliked those people in the Qin family. Go ahead, chop them all up!”

 

“………” The emperor fell silent. He had never encountered a woman who feared nothing—not even death.

 

Angry! Furious! Absolutely intrigued!

 

He snorted coldly: “Hmph, seeking death, are you? Well, I won’t let you have your way. From now on, you will serve me personally alongside Yu Wanfu.”

 

The emperor thought to himself: The more you dislike me, the more I’ll keep you close. I refuse to believe that with my charm, I can’t make you change your mind. When the day comes that you fall in love with me—that will be your defeat!

 

Upon hearing this, Xiao Qing rolled her eyes: “Do as you please.”

 

She thought to herself: If Yu Gonggong weren’t with me, I wouldn’t even acknowledge you. I always knew you were a masochist. The more I beg for mercy, the harsher you’d be.

But if I act firm, then you start craving attention.

 

The emperor laughed when he heard her words: “Hahaha, I just love your rebellious spirit!”

 

“Such a genuine and lovely face, yet with such an amusing personality—I’ll indulge you a few more times because of it.”

 

“Yu Wanfu, from now on, you will serve alongside Qingqing. If anything happens to her, I’ll hold you accountable.”

 

Yu Wanwan: 【Message read, but not sure how to respond. Maybe say something else?】

 

【What do you mean by ‘serve together’? That’s an easy phrase to misunderstand, you know? Am I going to be part of your… ahem ahem business?】

 

【Help, is my Xiao Qing about to be ruined?】

 

Before Yu Wanwan could respond, the emperor’s voice came again: “Qingqing, pour me some tea.”

 

Xiao Qing furrowed her brows, ready to retort, while Yu Wanwan nervously broke out in a cold sweat: 【Xiao Qing, please don’t go against the emperor. Otherwise, I’ve got a bad feeling that all the trouble will fall on me.】

 

Right now, the emperor might be fascinated by Xiao Qing’s arrogance, but that didn’t mean he was a complete pushover.

 

Xiao Qing was the woman he favored; he wouldn’t want to hurt her. But in that case, who would he vent his anger on?

 

Clearly… she was the one unfortunate soul available for the venting.

 

Originally wanting to talk back, Xiao Qing pressed her lips together and begrudgingly stepped forward to serve the emperor.

 

She thought to herself: For Yu Gonggong’s sake, I’ll just endure this for now. But if I don’t serve well, you better not throw a tantrum.

 

She stepped forward to pour tea for the emperor, and as he caught the faint scent coming from her, he couldn’t resist taking a deep breath. Like some creepy subway guy: “Mmm… Qingqing, you smell so nice…”

 

Xiao Qing immediately took a step back, and with a splash, the scalding tea spilled directly onto the emperor’s hand.

 

His hand trembled in pain. Xiao Qing quickly took out a handkerchief to help wipe the tea from his hand.

 

But in her haste, she accidentally knocked over the teapot on the table. Crash…

The entire table was flooded with tea, and the documents on it—folded stacks of official reports—were completely soaked, limp and dripping in a soggy mess.

 

Xiao Qing frantically tried to wipe everything with the handkerchief: “I’m so sorry, Your Majesty, I didn’t mean it. Let me wipe this up for you…”

 

The handkerchief wiped across the emperor’s burnt hand, causing him to grit his teeth in pain.

 

With an irritated wave of his hand, he dismissed them: “Enough, get out! I don’t need either of you to serve me anymore.”

 

Xiao Qing immediately withdrew: “Yes, Your Majesty.”

 

After speaking, they quickly stepped out of the Hall of Mental Cultivation. Naturally, Yu Wanwan, being observant, followed right behind.

 

She had every reason to believe that Xiao Qing did it on purpose!

 

Normally, Xiao Qing wasn’t so clumsy. But since the emperor was enjoying his own masochism, all she could say was… well done!

 

Just as they left, they heard the emperor’s furious roar: “The memorials are ruined! How am I supposed to review them now? Throw them all away!”

 

Even though his hand was burned, looking at the pile of ruined memorials on the floor, the emperor felt oddly pleased.

 

Those useless ministers had nothing important to do all day but submit worthless reports that only gave him headaches. Now that Qingqing had destroyed them, he had a perfect excuse not to read that garbage.

 

Hmph! Qingqing is truly a gem; the more I see her, the more I like her.

 

On the other side, Yu Wanwan and Xiao Qing walked along the palace path, quietly laughing.

 

Yu Wanwan gave her a thumbs-up: “Xiao Qing, you’re like a cow on a spaceship—your awesomeness is out of this world!”

 

T/N “Cow on a spaceship” (小母牛坐飞船) — This is a Chinese idiom used humorously to express someone’s incredible skill or coolness. It’s a playful exaggeration of someone being “out of this world” awesome.

 

“Hahaha, I learned from Brother Yu!”

 

As they were giggling, there was a sudden thud, and a bamboo-made cuju ball smacked Yu Wanwan right in the head.

 

Clutching her head, the smile on Yu Wanwan’s face instantly vanished (•́へ•́╬).

 

A childish voice rang out: “Hey, you filthy servant! Fetch this prince’s cuju ball for me.”

 

T/N: Cuju (蹴鞠) — This is an ancient Chinese sport similar to soccer. 

 

Yu Wanwan turned around to see a chubby little boy, about seven or eight years old, standing there with his hands on his hips, arrogantly glaring at them.

 

From his luxurious clothing, Yu Wanwan knew who he was right away— the emperor’s youngest son, Fifth Prince Zhou Kang.

 

This child had been weak since birth, plagued by illness throughout the year. That’s why they changed his name to “Kang” (meaning health), in the hopes he’d grow up healthy.

 

Whether it was the mystical power of his new name or simply because the concubines in the “Assassinate the Prince” team had stopped trying to kill him, since the name change, he hadn’t fallen ill once.

 

Only now, he was too healthy. At such a young age, he already weighed over 100 pounds.

 

And because he had been doted on while he was sick, he had become an uncontrollable little tyrant in the palace—bullying maids, pranking concubines.

 

In three words: a little brat.

 

If this were anywhere else, Yu Wanwan would have immediately punched the brat square in the face.

 

But right now… she was just a lowly working eunuch, so she chose… to silently punch him in her mind!

 

 

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