TCCRMMAICSTA Chapter 3

Xiao Qing, seeing that Yu Wanwan had been silent for a long time, looked at him curiously. “Eunuch Yu? Are you tired from last night?”

 

Yu Wanwan waved his hand. “No, no, I’m fine.” 

 

【It’s the Emperor who’s not doing well, not me. I can handle having beauties on both sides with no problem.】

 

Xiao Qing’s eyes widened as if she had just heard a shocking secret. Last night, she had overheard some strange things and thought she might have encountered a ghost. But now…

 

Yu Wanwan patted her on the shoulder. “Once you’re done cleaning, go back to your room. Try not to go out tonight, alright?”

 

Xiao Qing, with her petite figure and slightly chubby, round face, looked like an adorable girl-next-door. Yu Wanwan couldn’t bear to see her get hurt.

 

【Tonight’s palace banquet will have assassins. Many will die, and plenty of maids and eunuchs will end up as cannon fodder. Xiao Qing is so sweet and lovely; she absolutely can’t die.】

 

【Xiao Qing is the flower of our Department of Internal Affairs. I have to protect her no matter what.】

 

With these thoughts in mind, Yu Wanwan walked out of the Department of Internal Affairs. As a eunuch responsible for record-keeping, his duties didn’t just include documenting events but also reporting to the Empress Dowager about the Emperor’s favouritism toward consorts.

 

If the Emperor spoiled one woman for too long, the Empress Dowager would step in to remind him not to let any seductive foxes capture his heart completely. [1] 

 

Xiao Qing nodded and looked gratefully at Yu Wanwan’s departing figure.

Although she didn’t understand why she could suddenly hear Eunuch Yu’s inner thoughts or what “cannon fodder” meant, she knew that Eunuch Yu was trying to protect her. For that reason alone, she decided that from now on, she would follow his lead completely.

 

Moreover, she was the only one in the Department of Internal Affairs who could hear Eunuch Yu’s inner voice. That had to mean there was some kind of fated connection between them.

 

Thinking about Yu Wanwan’s rosy lips and pearly white teeth, Xiao Qing’s face couldn’t help but turn red.

 

She thought to herself that Eunuch Yu was truly the best-looking one among all the eunuchs.

 

Yu Wanwan had no idea about Xiao Qing’s wild thoughts. Carrying the record book from the Department of Internal Affairs, she trotted over to the Empress Dowager’s Cining Palace.

 

“Your servant Yu Wanfu greets the Empress Dowager. May Your Majesty enjoy eternal health and peace.” She patted her sleeves and respectfully performed the bow, just like in palace dramas.

 

After entering the palace, she had changed her name, because having a eunuch called Yu Wanwan (meaning “bent” or “curvy”) was a bit too absurd. She chose “Wanfu” (meaning “ten thousand blessings”), a more auspicious name, which had earned her many favours from the nobles.

 

Sure enough, the Empress Dowager smiled and waved her hand. “Oh, it’s little Yuzi. Rise and speak to me.”

 

“Yes, thank you, Empress Dowager.” Yu Wanwan stood up, bent over slightly, and walked forward to present the record book from the Department of Internal Affairs. She also poured a cup of tea for the Empress Dowager.

 

Since entering the palace, Yu Wanwan had fully applied the workplace tactics she had learned in her previous life, mastering the art of pleasing the boss. She was determined to quietly work hard and surprise everyone! Yu Wanwan was the epitome of a dedicated office worker.

 

Her thoughts: “I hate this job and don’t want to work another day.”

 

Her actions: Full attendance and overtime.

 

After all, she had been sneaking in some spicy literature to make her workday more bearable, but one careless move, and she ended up getting transported into the book.

 

Pushing aside all her random thoughts, Yu Wanwan returned to the reality of being a servant.

 

“Empress Dowager, here is the record of the past ten days. The Emperor has been sharing his favour evenly, without showing special attention to any particular consort. Please enjoy your tea while you take a look,” Yu Wanwan said, standing respectfully after pouring the tea.

 

She sneaked a glance at the Empress Dowager. Though in her position, the Empress Dowager looked to be only in her early forties. The reigning champion of the previous palace intrigues had sharp, striking features. She was a beauty of the bold, intense kind, and the light signs of ageing had only added a touch of charm to her appearance.

 

Yu Wanwan quietly clicked her tongue in admiration: 【Tsk tsk tsk… The Empress Dowager is so beautiful, she’s hitting me right in the heart. The only thing that could kill me more than my goddess is a stunning ‘auntie’ like her. 】

 

The Empress Dowager’s hand trembled slightly as she held the record book. She turned, a bit puzzled, to look at Nanny Zhang who was standing beside her. Nanny Zhang quickly asked, “What are your orders, Empress Dowager?”

 

The Empress Dowager glanced around the hall, noticing that everyone else seemed normal, standing quietly below without any unusual reactions. Then, her gaze landed on Yu Wanwan. Sensing the Empress Dowager’s eyes on her, Yu Wanwan immediately lowered her head.

 

【Auntie’s looking at me! That wink is so dazzling. Not to brag, but an auntie like her could charm my dad right out of his pants!】

 

The Empress Dowager stared at Yu Wanwan for a long time and began to suspect something. Her red lips parted slightly: “Xiao Yuzi.”

 

Yu Wanwan quickly responded, “Your servant is here.”

 

As soon as Yu Wanwan spoke, that strange inner voice vanished! The Empress Dowager was instantly sure that the thoughts she’d been hearing earlier came from this little eunuch. Though some of the things he thought were a bit strange and hard to understand, they were mostly compliments. And let’s face it, no woman, even one who could be a great-grandmother to the Emperor, could resist being called beautiful…

 

Flattery spoken aloud could feel insincere, but heartfelt thoughts like these were the real deal.

 

The Empress Dowager put down the record book and said, “You’ve done well. You deserve a reward!”

 

After speaking, Zhang Mama, who was standing beside the Empress Dowager, immediately stepped forward and handed a bag of silver to Yu Wanwan.

 

Holding the silver, Yu Wanwan couldn’t stop smiling. As a working person, isn’t it all about earning those few pieces of silver? Moreover, as she weighed it, she realised it wasn’t just loose silver pieces—it seemed to be silver ingots! At least ten taels of silver.

 

For pouring just a cup of tea, she received ten taels of silver! She could pour until the Empress Dowager went bankrupt!

 

She repeatedly expressed her gratitude: “Thank you, Empress Dowager, for your generous reward.”

 

【Wow! Auntie is just like the wife of a wealthy tycoon. I suddenly feel like she’s about to throw five hundred thousand silver at me and tell me to stay away from her son.】

 

【From now on, I’ll carry Auntie’s banner in the palace! Anyone who dares oppose my Auntie will be my enemy!】

 

The Empress Dowager suddenly chuckled.

 

“Xiao Yunzi, from now on, will bring the records to me regularly,” she said.

 

“Yes, your humble servant obeys,” Yu Wanwan responded, kneeling on one knee in respect.

 

The Empress Dowager waved her hand with a smile: “No need for such formalities. I see you’re quite an interesting one. From now on, you’ll be in charge of the affairs of the Department of Attendants.”

 

Yu Wanwan was shocked, her eyes widened. This… was a promotion! She had become the head eunuch of the Department of Attendants!

 

【Ah! Beautiful Auntie really knows how to take care of people. I love her!】

 

【Finally, I get to experience being a leader. Let’s see if meetings really have to drag on for hours!】

 

(She thought sarcastically in her heart but remained outwardly composed.)

 

Out loud, she expressed her thanks again: “Thank you, Empress Dowager, for your great favour. I will devote myself to running the Department of Attendants well.”

 

The Empress Dowager nodded: “Mm, you may leave.”

 

The sudden reward left everyone dumbfounded, even Zhang Mama was puzzled. How could a lowly eunuch make the Empress Dowager so happy?

 

Yu Wanwan walked back to the Department of Attendants with a light step, humming a little tune.

 

When she was a junior eunuch, the old head eunuch of the Department, Zhou Quezi, had often targeted her. Normally, keeping the night records was a job shared by different people, one person per day. But Zhou Quezi had taken bribes from others and made her do it for three days straight!

 

Three days! Even torturing a hawk isn’t this gruelling! [2] 

 

Every morning, Zhou Quezi would show off his authority and lecture for an hour. Staying up late, getting up early, and then enduring these morning meetings—it almost made Yu Wanwan explode.

 

But today was her day to finally hold her head high!

 

As soon as she returned to the Department of Attendants, a big yellow dog wagged its tail and rubbed against her legs, then barked a few times.

 

“Brother Wan! Xiao Qing is being bullied by Zhou Quezi, right in the backyard. Hurry up and help her!”

 

“What! Bullying my pretty little sister? Perfect timing, I just got promoted today. Let’s see me, a newly appointed officer, fire on all cylinders! Wangcai, lead the way!”

 

Wangcai (the dog) barked twice and sprinted ahead: “Hurry up, hurry up, I’ve been holding in a pee. Soon I’ll give Zhou Quezi a good drenching!”

 

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[1] “狐媚子勾了皇帝的心”: Refers to a woman using seductive charms to win the Emperor’s favour. “Fox spirit” (狐狸精) is often a derogatory term for a woman seen as seductive or manipulative.

 

[2] The idiom “熬鹰” refers to an old method of training hawks by depriving them of sleep for several days. Yu Wanwan uses this metaphor to emphasise how tough her situation was.

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